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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Surprised by Nap Nazis
Wow, I am just amazed by all the mom's that are so determined to have their kids nap at a certain time! I'm not criticizing, I just can't relate.
I work full time and just cannot possibly imagine having to block out a set couple hours of each day on my days off as times where we couldn't do anything or be anywhere except for home. I would never be able to get anything done or make plans with friends, playdates, errands, etc.
I understand within reason, like I know that I should either be at home or plan to be leaving in the car sometime between 10am and noon, that way DS can get a nap in before leaving or take a nap in the car before we go somewhere. Sometimes that means that I leave really early for a birthday party, etc. so that he can finish his nap in the car before the party.
How do you do this?! You guys are making me feel like a selfish mommy!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Surprised by Nap Nazis
Don't feel bad about your LO"s nap schedule, you have to do what works for YOU!
As a working mom myself, I can relate.
My DS can nap anywhere, car, stroller, crib, pack-n-play, in my arms etc... because he's gotten used to going to sleep when he's tired no matter where we are. That works for us.
I have a friend who plans her day around her son's naps, that works for her.
I'm with you. I've just found that going with the flow is best for my son, which is so foreign to me since I tend to be more of an A-type person. He just does so much better when we're more spontaneous, and tends to get cranky when we're on a schedule doing the same thing over and over. It's weird; I've become chill as a parent!
**Disclaimer: I do realize that every kid is different, so I may be thrown for a loop with this next kiddo!
This is easy for me. They nap at 1130. So if I plan something, I plan it in the morning or in the afternoon.
I think how much strict you need to be depends on your situation. I have twins, my life needs a schedule...its how we survive.
If I only had my DS, I probably would be very relaxed about naps because he handles being tired very well. He can miss a nap and be OK.
If I had only my DD, I probably would be more strict about naptime because when she is tired, she completely melts down. Who wants to be out with a toddler when that happens?
We were really strict with DS's naps but recently because he is a little older we are a little more flexible. We do try to put him down between 11:00 - 12:30PM. Before we would stick with a set time such as 11PM. It makes it easier for us and makes for a happy child.
You have to do what works for you and your LO.
Don't feel bad.
DD1 Feb 2010
DD2 Sept 2011
I really think a large part of it is adapting to what works for your LO. DD would rarely nap anywhere but home until she was about 15 months old. Despite people insisting, oh, she'll just sleep in the car/stroller/on the subway/etc., this was not the case and after a few times of spending 45 minutes with an overtired, screaming baby in a car or in public to get somewhere, I decided it wasn't worth it to upend her routine just to do something for myself. She went down to 1 nap/day at 1 year of age and it was quite easy to make sure I was home between 12-2 every day. Christmas or special occasions along those lines, sure, I'd give up naps for a day for something like that and I even traveled with DD a lot when she was a baby, but for just any old thing? Nope. I found I had plenty of time to get things done with her during her waking hours. And now that she doesn't nap at all, I kind of miss the quiet downtime at home I used to get every day.
I'm with you. My DDs both take afternoon naps, but if we have somewhere to be or something takes longer than planned, I just give them a later nap, they sleep in the car.
Neither one acts horribly if they miss a nap, so I am lucky in that.
I am big on my child getting enough sleep. He is very laid back, but melts down if he is sleepy! I will not necessarily plan my weekends around his nap schedule, but when we are out and about, I do try and make sure he goes down for a nap. He will sleep in the car or his stroller, so we are lucky in that respect. We were shopping a few weekends ago, and he slept for 2 hours in his stroller, and would have slept longer, but he woke up while DH was putting him in the car.
This. My son won't nap anywhere but his crib either. And hello, his 3 hr nap is my break time, to cook, clean, nap, whatever! Why would I skip that
Our kid napped anywhere until maybe 5 months, but then that ability just vanished. We could still be more flexible until we went down to one nap at maybe 11 months, and there was nothing in the world that we could do to get him to take a second nap, no matter how crappy/short the first one was. To this day, if the kid falls asleep in the car for ten minutes, that's all he can get for the day no matter how sleepy and cranky he gets. No nap or short nap means bedtime will be a mess, which means night time will be a mess, which means I'll be a mess the next day.
We can mess with timing some, and it's not THE END OF THE WORLD if we miss a nap, but it'll us up for a few days, so it's to be avoided if at all possible. Also, keeping a rough schedule will help daycare go better, and since he just started recently and hates it, I'd feel crappy if I didn't do what I could to make it easier for him.
But that entire post could be: the needs of every kid and family are different. The End.
This! DS might (if he's really tired) fall asleep in the car but for the most part he will only nap in his crib. I do however make adjustments if there is a birthday/holiday. Messing with his nap does mean that he will wake up in the middle of the night and early the next day, so I rarely make an exception.
Sleep, routine and schedule were always important to us.
We made it a priority and I feel that it has paid off (this is the part where you go blah blah blah stfu haha - he is a very happy child (rarely cries/fusses), he handles change and new situations well, he sleeps 11-12 hrs/night, he takes a 1.5 hr nap, the last time we were 'summoned' to his room during the night was 6 months old, he is advanced verbally, speaking in sentences - he is also very flexible with his sleep without melt down if we do have to alter things due to travel, etc.
Maybe it's just him/genetics/personality and has nothing to do with what we did with his sleep schedule/routine but research indicates otherwise.
Personally, I'm a bit offended at the reference to 'nazi' and I also equally don't get parents who just fly by the seat of their pants with something as important as their child's sleep. I DO get your situation you have very little time with your child, perhaps, and so you don't want to have to 'lose' time with them or on running errands. It's just not my style. We each choose our own path and hope that it is the right decision for our child/family.
When B was younger it was no big thing. We could be out and about, and he'd nap when he napped, wherever - car, stroller, crib. Now ... just doesn't happen. He'll keep himself up and not nap at all, or it gets too late to nap and he's fussy until bedtime, or he passes out in the car and gets pissed if we wake him up when we get where we're going.
Presently, he's doing his damnedest to drop naps entirely, and every day we're not at home for him to nap properly is another day closer to that unpleasant reality. I don't have to be a nap nazi about it, but if I don't I can kiss that hour or so that I have to myself goodbye, because he will not go back to napping if I let it go too many days in a row. Sucks, but it is what it is.
I think if you have the kind of kid who will sleep on YOUR schedule, that's awesome, but don't judge people who have kids who only sleep on their OWN schedule.
Mes Petit Choux
I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then. ~ Alice
I work full time too. It's about planning. I plan around his naps, so I can still get my sh*t done, and he's not an angry bear because he only got a 20 minute nap in the car. I don't really think that planning to be home for a couple of hours each day is a stretch for anyone, personally.
AMEN. This.
I couldn't agree more with you! I'm VERY strict when it comes to her sleep. I've even missed holiday dinner. Its what works best for me & my child and its only for a few yrs. Not everyone understands my feelings on this (my family) but its my choice.
If Mia doesn't get her nap when she's supposed to, she's a bear at night.
Does that mean we don't "bend the rules" sometimes? No. If we need to, we'll either put off her nap and go out so she can sleep on the way home, or if we are going to DH's moms (an hour away), we'll leave right after lunch at naptime and she will sleep on the way down.
She does, however, get a longer, better nap when she sleeps in her crib, and I enjoy my "me" time, so I usually stay home. It's not like we can't go out other times during the day.
J goes to daycare, so he's not always guaranteed a great nap, because not all of the toddlers are so cooperative. That said, if he doesn't get a good nap, he is SO grouchy at night, that dinnertime is usually a disaster and he winds up in bed earlier than his normal bedtime.
I work full time, so I can't mandate the naps he has while at school, however on weekends, I can, and we plan alot of events around naptime. Obviously, somethings are unavoidable, but when I take J shopping, or running errands, they go a lot smoother when he is well rested.
All of this exactly! Finally somebody else was offended by 'nazi'. I thought I was being oversensitive for a second.
This is us EXACTLY..ive learned over time to work around jacks nap schedule and it makes for a much btter day for all of us. If he doesnt sleep well during the days evenings are horrible and he usuallyt sleeps ptretty poorly overnight
Our lives are infinitely easier thanks to a pretty strict nap schedule. Call me a "nap Nazi", but it's what works for us.
Being a SAHM, I love the fact that my day is predictable -- errands in the morning, home for lunch and nap (at noon), and play in the afternoon. All of our friends that have kids have similar schedules, so playdates are never planned during mid-afternoon.
It took many, many, many months to get to a point where DS napped well. Until 9 or 10 months, he was a 35 minute napper, no more. Now that he naps beautifully for 2-3 hours, I'm NOT about to mess that up for my own convenience. If there's a special event like a birthday party, we'll shift things around...but errands and lunches with friends just aren't going to happen between the hours of 12 and 3.
Is it really that hard to plan for a nap at home on a Saturday and Sunday at a set time?
Lots of us work full time and having young kids that need naps is just part of the day you need to acknowledge and allow for.
If you don't want to nap or schedule naps with your child, fine, but calling parents that do NAZIS makes you sound pretty self righteous.
i totally sympathize w/ you, i don't get nap/bedtime nazis either. as a working mom too, i'm pretty loose w/ dd's schedule and she thankfully is an awesome napper who will nap anywhere ! she adapted us to dc's nap schedule 1-3p for naps so i can plan some things around it but when you've got TWO days during the week w/ her all day, you want to maximize your time w/ her so if she naps later than she usually does b/c you're out at the playground - so be it.
jacksjerseygirl - well said. I always cringe when I read about how many people don't respect their child's need to sleep. After doing all the reading I did about infant and child sleep (and how detrimental lack of or inconsistent sleep is to their behavioral and mental development) I could never do anything else.
This. It was tough at first, but we try to be flexible. He naps at the same time during the week at daycare, but then on weekends he naps anywhere from 1-2 hours and anywhere between 11 am and 4 pm....as long as he gets something at least an hour sometime mid-day whether it be at home or in the car we're fine and he's a happy toddler. I can't imagine being tied to such a strict schedule, but everything I've read about toddlers say they thrive on predictable routines so more power to the parents who are willing to work around strict naptimes.