Temping Poll (I need opinions)

cyndielise · March 2011

So considering the giant wall I hit last night and my general frustration with the TTC process, DH thinks I might be stressing myself out a little.

For the past couple of months, I freak out if DH moves in bed and wakes me up, if I'm not tired and can't sleep, I hold my pee, I inconvenience myself, and I've been getting really upset about it all.

The most upsetting part is I'm absolutely changing my life and doing these things that are making me feel like my life isn't as full as it should be and all for naught, because nothing is helping. Essentially, I'm not doing things I want to, and it's not affecting any change I'd like to see.

So considering my freak out with DH last night (I was crying and losing my mind because of how desperate I was feeling about my whole situation), DH thinks I maybe should take a break from temping.

I'm starting to feel like DH might be right. I like temping and knowing when to have sex and when AF might come, but I'm getting so upset lately, the disadvantages have started outweighing the cons. Plus, stress deters pregnancy anyways, so it's all kind of counter-productive

So please qualify your answers so I can expand my pro/con list. :] Just leave an explanation of your vote.

EAT: Same sentence twice...

[Poll]

ilikemonkeys · March 2011

I just posted something similar! I am wondering if I should temping- but this is only our first month trying. Your experience is making me think I should hold off on temping for a bit.

Squishy622 · March 2011

I voted for the 3rd option. If I were in your shoes I'd take a 1-month break and re-evaluate for the 2nd month. No need to commit to 2 months offf the bat, what if you're ready to start again after a month?

I do think it sounds like your body is asking you for a break. It's affecting you tremendously, no question. Taking care of yourself is the most important thing, above all else, regardless of whether you're TTC or not. I hope that taking a break will bring you some peace, you deserve it! ((hugs))

jenni888 · March 2011

I see where you are coming from and I know it can get exasperating to keep temping when you have longer cycles. If you feel you need the break, you definitely should take it. You've been through a lot! But you could also try some things to make it easier on yourself to continue to temp and take a bit more of a laid back approach. Changing your temping time a little, or perhaps temping just as a habit and if something happens and you wake up in the middle of the night just skipping that temp to free yourself of feeling like something got screwed up. Or maybe a combination of both ... take a break and then when you "come back" take a really relaxed "temp if you can, but if not no biggie" approach.

I got pretty frustrated earlier this cycle when I thought I would O and then didn't and I was just freaking out about another 2 month + cycle so I stopped peeing on OPKs and resorted to just temping and checking CM for a while. As soon as I started seeing fertile CM again I got a little more "serious" about it. Not sure if letting it go and taking a more relaxed approach for a couple weeks is what finally got my body to O, but I'd like to think it had at least a little to do with it!

(Was this long and rambling enough for you? Embarrassed )

Melgor78 · March 2011

Temping the first month really stressed me out. But this month I've taken a more relaxed approach. As for temping, I wake up during the night, I toss and turn but I still temp the same time everyday. If I didn't sleep well at all it mark it. I'm still seeing a temp change even though I have a few open circles. You need to make TTC a fun, I thought about not temping but I know I would be just as stressed not knowing.

DiademChi · March 2011

Too much stress and lack of sleep will hurt your fertility and likely give you FALSE temperature readings. Therefore, a small break is in order. Just stick to tracking CM, some OPKs, and having sex every other day. That alone should help plenty.

Only if it takes you a few more cycles of no results should you attempt temping again. I only started this cycle because I wasn't sure I was properly ovulating after being on birth control.

blindvictory · March 2011

I'm on my first month temping, and I just refuse to let it mess with me that much. If I have to pee, then dang it, I'm getting up to pee! I try to get a solid 3 hours of sleep before I temp, but sometimes that doesn't happen. For me, my temps haven't varied much at all, even if I have to get up.The temping is meant to help, not stress you out. I'd say try taking a more relaxed approach and see if that helps. If you still feel like a break is for the best, then definitely go for it. There are other ways that you can watch for ovulation, with CM and OPKs. Good luck! I hope you find what works best for you soon.

Amomtomanyluvs · March 2011

I would suggest that maybe you could temp until you O and then maybe just stop temping during the 2ww? I have considered doing that at some points to. That way you do not miss a month or a chance, but you won't have to drive yourself mad wondering...

I know how hard this can be...big hugs...again! lol

GraceInCA · March 2011

It's hard for me to give you advice because I don't understand why temping would be stressful. You just take your temperature in the morning and record it. I wouldn't stop doing it because it gives you so much useful information, there doesn't seem to be much downside once you get in the routine of it. As far as sex goes, why not try and have sex for fun and just have it more often around the time you O without adding pressure to the whole thing? Sex should be fun. Even if you're having sex with the goal of having a baby, it can still be fun.

FWIW the very few studies have been done don't show a link between anxiety/stress and conception (but there is a link to lower rates of conception and depression, even though it doesn't sound like you're depressed).

moobug · March 2011

I voted to stop temping for 2 months. It sounds like you have been doing this for a while and know you cycle pretty well. I'd have sex EOD from end of my period until the next period (or BFP). You won't miss your window, so you don't have to worry about when you O'd.

cyndielise · March 2011

Squishy and Jenni, I think I may combine the ideas...

I think I want to take a break for at LEAST the rest of this endless cycle and maybe a one month break, then do a laid back temping the next...

Blindvictory - I like that attitude! I really need to adopt it for myself.

Becca - I would do that, but the issue that's so frustrating right now is that I'm on CD 33, and I STILL haven't O'ed!

Gracie - it's the compilation of other stress that's making temping so much worse. I'm trying so hard for something that just isn't happening, and with my miscarriage, I just keep looking back. Temping is forcing me to dwell on things I don't want to dwell on anymore. I'm definitely not depressed, but I've also experienced a lot of trauma in the past few months. It's good to know that normal amounts of stress won't affect it though!

Also, I understand not thinking that temping is stressful... that was how I felt about it for so long. Unfortunately, lately it has been positively reinforcing my fixation on TTC, so I think I need to take a step back and realign my priorities.

Thanks for all the advice, ladies! I think I just needed the confidence that a break from temping isn't the end of the world. I just need to take some time to stop making TTC my number one goal and go back to enjoying the way life is right now for a little while. Hopefully I can gain a healthier perspective if I take a break, and TTCing will actually be fun again. :]

I you girls!!

Amomtomanyluvs · March 2011

HHmm yeah you do have a point there don't you....stupid AF just needs to show up so you can start over....

cyndielise · March 2011

Beccabot4:
HHmm yeah you do have a point there don't you....stupid AF just needs to show up so you can start over....

Yes Agreed!!!!!

sekura · March 2011

blindvictory:
I'm on my first month temping, and I just refuse to let it mess with me that much. If I have to pee, then dang it, I'm getting up to pee! I try to get a solid 3 hours of sleep before I temp, but sometimes that doesn't happen. For me, my temps haven't varied much at all, even if I have to get up.The temping is meant to help, not stress you out. I'd say try taking a more relaxed approach and see if that helps. If you still feel like a break is for the best, then definitely go for it. There are other ways that you can watch for ovulation, with CM and OPKs. Good luck! I hope you find what works best for you soon.

Yes This! Take it easy--I miss temps or get up at night every other day, yet I seem to have a very consistent temp as long as I take it at the same time every day, or right as I wake up.

psubride1012 · March 2011

I voted "do what I say" - I would only take a break if you have somewhat "normal" cycles. You look to be someone who is somewhat irregular, so I understand the hesitation with not temping because it helps you figure out your cycle and if you are Oing.

When I started getting really stressed with temping, I asked H to keep my temps for me. I would take my temp and hand him the thermometer without looking and he would write down my temp for me and not let me see it. It helped me not to stress over each day's temp. Maybe your H would be willing to do the same? Good luck with whatever you decide!

mystery1137 · March 2011

Temping has caused me frustration too. I suggest taking a one cycle break just to calm your nerves. Good luck!

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