Our pedi **finally** called back today (he's usually quicker but had a crazy few days) & is going to refer us to a psychologist. He thinks its definitely more behavioral/anxiety related than developmental. We're going to see a psychologist 1st, see what they say, & go from there. He said either way if we don't see improvement by his 24 month check up we'll take additional steps.
On a positive note, since I've been staying home with Ari, many of his other separation anxiety/tension issues have improved a ton, & he's sleeping better too.
Re: F/U to Ari's Social Anxiety
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I went back and found your OP... and my DD had a lot of the same things going on that you described. I have a book recommendation for you: The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron, Ph.D. There's a quiz here that you can take to see if it's something that might apply to you and your son's case. I will tell you that the book doesn't have any "strategies" per se, for dealing with it... but it does lay out quite nicely that this is a personality type, and that it's not terribly uncommon, and this is how a highly sensitive person interprets what's happening around them.
The insight I got from the book into my own kid's brain was very useful in modifying how I dealt with her in various situations. It's worth a look, IMO. GL.