When talking about their kids that is. It seems like a lot of people I talk to have angel babies who eat well, STTN and never cry. Sometimes it makes me wonder how truthful people are when describing their LOs. I think sometimes we feel pressure to have a "perfect" baby and put up a front to others about how great things are going. Or maybe I just have the only baby who has his occasional fussy times and sleepless nights. Thoughts?
Re: Sometimes I wonder if people lie.
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I have a baby who has never once cried inconsolably, she is easily soothed. I have zero issues with BF and I get plenty of sleep. It never occurred to me that people would think I'm lying.
In no way am I smug about my parenting tho, she's just who she is and I'm sure my time will come.
I think there is pressure to have a perfect baby which might make some people stretch the truth. But it also has a lot to do with comparison and what you are experiencing.
For me personally I believe I have a pretty easy baby. She has started to STTN, loves bath time, will self sooth when I put her in her PnP, BUT she gets very fussy for eating. Now go to a mother who has been dealing with a colicky baby and have her care for my LO and she'd be thinking she's an "angel". Then have me take care of her colicky baby and I'd probably cry!
Babies have their own little personalities.
I guess it is true to a point. I am on baby #3 and I am not lying when I say that I have been very blessed with easy going babies. I used to ask the ped if my kids were broken because they didn't really cry unless they needed something.
Now, if you want to ask me about ages 2-3, that is when I think that my kids seem to give me hell.
my little guy is actually pretty friggin awesome. he's not really a big cry baby. i mean yeah, he cries, but he's a baby. he cries to let me know if he's hungry or has a dirty diaper, but once i figure out what he needs and take care of it he stops for the most part. he breastfeeds like a champ and has since the beginning. i'm not sure i really know what sleeping through the night really entails, but he gets up once between 2 and 2:30 and then again around 6:30. and sometimes after that he lets me go back to sleep for another hour or two. and i just got his acceptance letter to harvard.
ok that last part was a lie.
I no longer love you . lol
word.
This. He fusses, or makes noises to let me know whats up. Hes only really had a full on shiit fit twice. But hes is in no way perfect, he grunts all day long. Its almost embarrassing.
I guess it depends on the mom's patience level too. What you may think is a crier or a real PITA, I may think they are good as gold.
My little brothers cried a lot. But I think it was because my mom was very high strung and didn't handle the stress well. Granted, she had three babies under three and that would stress anyone out... but the more worked up she was, it seemed to effect them more.
Totally not saying that about anyone else, just my experience with my mom and my older sister and her kids.
Or you could really have a baby that sleeps through the night and doesn't cry alot. My daughter cries a lot but does sleep through the nights. I feel silly telling people this because I feel like they are going to think I am just being a bragging mom but its true. She does a lot of other crazy stuff though!!
Our first child passed away when she was 4 months old and spent her whole life in the hospital, so with our second, I think I felt even more pressure to have a good baby, or more "cherish every moment." When people asked how I was doing or feeling, it was like they expected me to say how wonderful and blessed we were. Honestly, there were moments I didn't feel so blessed and it was downright hard having a newborn at home. That compounded the guilt and depression I felt. Finally, I gave myself permission to gripe and complain and I truly felt like it was a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I realized that having a newborn was difficult and hard and no I wasn't going to enjoy or cherish every moment and that is ok. No matter what happened before, I was still human and allowed to vent and complain like everyone else.
I don't know what my point is. I suppose that when you have a loss, that pressure to lie or embellish parenthood is stronger.
I always wondered if other moms who experienced a loss felt the same way.
Can we trade? DS has gone from only crying when hungry to crying about every single little thing you can imagine, I think it'll pass though, we had a growth spurt and then right after that he started teething. I'm hoping he gets somewhat used to having sore gums because one of these days I'm going to go insane. I swear one day my fiance will come home from work to me smearing peanut butter on the walls and saying I'm "painting" or whatever people do when they flip the switch to crazy town.
This. She has her days when she's extremely fussy but for the most part, she will only make little "screams" and whines when she's really hungry and I'm taking too long. haha She knows that one loud scream will usually get my attention and that's usually about how far it escalates.
I'm sure they do. DD never latched and therefore I had to EP for 11 months, which was a pain in the ass, but aside from that, she was literally a perfect baby. Easy going, content in her swing, STTN by 2 1/2 months, slept 4-5 hour stretches from the day we brought her home from the hospital, etc etc.
DS - not so much. When people ask me how he is sleeping, I lie and say fine.
I think I just peed my pants laughing. That's awesome. I'm using that.
I was brutally honest about how hard it was with DS1...the PPD probably made me less able to "put on a happy face" about having a newborn with colic. Colic is terrible and the more I opened up about it, the more help/support/comfort I got. I love being there for new moms going through that now too. I realize now how open I was with people because everyone and their mother has been "checking in" with me about DS2. At 3 weeks old today I feel like I'm about to enter the Twilight Zone...we shall see.
A possibility was born the day you were born and will live as long as you live.
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Ha glad I could make you smile
I was just about to post how I think people are lying when they say their LOs STTN. Although.. I think DS is starting to get close. Lately he'll give us a 4 hour stretch followed by another 3 hour one after a feeding. That has been the pattern for a couple weeks now, and I wonder how long it's going to last. I'm not complaining, though- he isn't much of a crier, really, and while I don't have any other LOs to compare him to, I have a feeling we are very blessed with his temperament.
I don't think people are lying or exaggerating. Remember on 1st tri when you'd read a lot of MC posts? 20% of women with confirmed pregnancies miscarry in 1st tri, but it seems like a lot more than that because you read it everyday. I'm sure easy babies aren't the majority, but I'm sure it seems that way from these boards.
My daughter is one of those easy babies. She slept 5-7 hour stretches from birth, and she has never cried once since she was born besides when she was communicating she was hungry. My DS was easy as well, except he would fuss during feedings because he had reflux. Now that he is a toddler, he is starting to test my patience at times, but he overall isnt a difficult child. I'm not exaggerating at all when I say this. I really do have easy babies. They exist.
Yes people absolutely lie:) I think a lot of moms exaggerate because they want everything seem so fabulous from the outside looking in. But I am sure that some people are blessed with perfectly content babies. Each of mine have had their separate challenges but DS#3 seems to be the most chill so far...I think??? DS#2 had reflux and colic and it was awful. DS#1 was just super high maintenance.
I also think moms conveniently forget some of the rough times:)
DD is 2.5 months and STTN-ish. She's up around 11PM to eat and then sleeps from midnight until around 9AM. She only cries when hungry or tired most days. She's had about 4 or 5 really, really cranky days in under 3 months.
DS is almost 5 now and was an awesome baby. He slept great, was happy, only cried when hungry, wet, or overly hot. STTN by 7 weeks. However I sure paid for it during the toddler years. From 18-24 months was awful and the entire age of 3 was hell. HELL.
Seriously, if DD is anything like her big brother around the age of 3 I just might give her away for a year. In deciding if we wanted another I was not worried about going through another pregnancy, c-section, newborn, sleepless nights and diapers; it was going through the age of 3 again that we discussed.
My point is that it all evens out in the end and those moms who are bragging about having an easy baby now are going to be eating those words come toddler time. I sure was. If not toddler time then the tween or teen years will get them. I promise.
I think people either have selective memory or they are blowing smoke and full of crap when it comes to how they weathered the "baby" storm and I think everyone goes through this "baby" storm one way or another whether it is sleep issues, or eating issues or illness.