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Older children

happywifemomofonehappywifemomofone member
in TTC after 35
Any ladies out there have older children?  My son, age 18 and a senior in HS, does not know we are TTC.  We figure that we'll tell him when he needs to know, after all we know that there's a chance that we will not be successful after all.  HS graduation is approaching and we want to make sure we do nothing to disrupt or overshadow his happy time.  Starting injectables, Ganirelix, tomorrow prior to first IVF cycle.  Was counting days, and it appears highly likely that ER could fall during spring break week.  This presents a dilema, as we need to go into Chicago and he will probably ask where we're headed and why he cann't come.  I hate to lie about it, but I'm having hard time coming up with decent excuses too.  Might have a family friend hang with him for the day, so he'll never know that we were gone all day.  Took vacation at work that week (which wasn't planned, just worked out that way), maybe I could get called in to work?.....but then I'd have to kill entire day in city-and I'm not sure physically if I'll be wanting to do that.  Anyone have any ideas?   Probably getting ahead of myself-but I'm a planner, down to knowing due date if we are successful this cycle. 
TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
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Re: Older children

  • aurora1974aurora1974 member

    I have a 16 year old daughter and DH has a 19 year old daughter.  They both know we are ttc.  My daughter lives with us, so knows everything that's going on.  DH's daughter lives with her mother and only knows that we are trying and m/c last year.  DD and I are very close and it was just her and I until about 3 years ago. So, she's VERY in tune with my moods and I with hers.  So it would not have been possible to deal with all this without her knowing what was going on.  She doesn't understand why we want to do this, but she's supportive anyway.  So I don't really have any advice about what to say to your son for that day.  I know you are doing what is best for your family, but I can't imagine the added stress of having to come up with excuses to DD about where we're going and why we'll be home late if she didn't know.  

    Good luck to you with this and I hope your IVF is successful!!!

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  • ChellBugChellBug member

    I  have 4 boys from my first marriage, ages 17, 12, 11, 10 and they know we are TTC.  The younger 2 really want us to add to the family while the older 2 don't really understand why we (mainly I) want more children.  I have the oldest childrenr as grandchildren go and my nephews and neice range in age from 10 months to 5 years and my boys are FABULOUS with all of them.  They hold them and feed them and play with them all the time so I know they're be awesome big brothers if/when God blesses is with a little one.  My youngest has been requesting a sister for quite some time which I think is cute, however, he has been told God will give us what He sees fit and what we need. 

    As far as your son, just let him know that you have business to attend to that day so you're not lying to him.  Other than that, I don't have any advice but good luck and hope to hear from you soon with a BFP!

    <a href="http://s101.photobucket.com/albums/m78/lee874/happy times/?action=view
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  • happywifemomofonehappywifemomofone member
    Hmmmm....have thought really hard about telling my son-know that I wouldn't lie if he asked.  But, I really hadn't thought real hard about what to tell him when we'll be away.  Thanks for sharing how your families are managing TTC with older children. 
    TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
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