Finally Pregnant... how to tell stepson??

prprincess_1983 · March 2011

Hi Ladies!!!

Well, my husband and I finally got our prayers answered, we're pregnant!! Im actually 4 weeks TODAY, so it's still early but we're ECSTATIC!! I told my 3 closest girlfriends and my parents and of course everyone is happy for us BUT there's a slight problem we're facing right now. My 14 year old stepson just moved across country from his mom's house to live with us. Things for him in VA weren't going good AT ALL and he decided that he wanted to come be with us and finish his High School here. He just got here last Monday and started at his new school this past Monday. Of course he's still adjusting, we're all adjusting to everything. We dont plan to tell him until after our first OB appt, so about a month from now but we're just not sure how to do it. My husband is active duty military and him and his ex divorced when my stepson was about 5. Over the last 10 years, my husband has been just a part time father.... spending summers and holidays when he's here in the states with him. Now he's a full time father and his son is very attached to him. He knows that we're going to have a family and until his sudden decision to move in with us (literally, it was about a week after he mentioned it to us that he was here with us) we were ACTIVELY trying but now that it's happened, we're a little overwhelmed.... any suggestions??

Thanks Ladies!!!

Jessys_Girl · March 2011

When you do have your OB appointment I would sit down with him and just be straight with him. He's 14 and can probably handle honesty and caring better than any clever/cutsie ways of telling him.

I'd say something like "So, Jack, we wanted to talk about a few things. First, we want to check in and make sure the adjustment to moving here is going well and all. Also, we wanted to let you know that we've just recently found out we're expecting." Then, just talk to him about how you're very happy to be having a baby, but you want him to have the opportunity to talk about it and make the adjustment right along with you guys. Talk to him about how even though some TIME might have to be shared between him and the baby (babies take up a lot of time) you and your DH will still be there for him, and love him 100% the same, etc.

kelseyd90 · March 2011

i agree, he's old enough to handle the truth.. Just make sure he does understand he's not being replaced by any means, and let him know how excited you are for him to help out with the baby. I found that it helped me out to incorporate my fiances kids in the excitement when I broke the news, but i also wouldn't expect all butterflies and rainbows. I just found out two days ago, but I told them right after I told their father and I also told them they were the firsts (besides him) to know. So far they have been angels about the pregnancy.. I know that it wont last forever though, they are 10 and 11, so they're more likely to act out than communicate their feelings. and don't forget, you're probably going to have to practice a patience you've never known..teenage hormones and pregnancy hormones don't go well together

PhoxySteph · March 2011

I totally agree with the above posts. Age has a lot to do with it. You're just going to have to tell him, he should be old enough to understand even though it might be difficult on him (though it may not be... depends on the teen). The more you leave it, the worse it'll get. Just make sure you are reassuring and I am sure you will do great!! Big Smile

Best of luck to you! And congrats on the baby!!!!!!!!!

GHBEA · March 2011

This is just about what happened to us 3 weeks ago. My SS lived in CA with his mom and all of a sudden wanted to come live with us. We are also expecting however ours is due in a few weeks.

We told all the children who are teens and step siblings. My girls were excited. My DH told his son over the phone and he was fine with it.

He asked questions through e mails and such. Now that he is here we involve him and the girls when ever possible. However boys are not into all the baby things as girls would be. So your SS might be a little distant on all baby things, or he could be totally involved.

Don't be upset if he isnt showing interest in baby related things. I have heard through others that once the baby arrives boys tend to be more involved. My SS is excited to have a little sister and keeps asking about her arrival.

We took the girls to the 20 anatomy scan, if possible bring your SS with you, my SS likes the U/S pictures and ask what is what.

Good luck to you.

Want a personalized experience?

Finally Pregnant... how to tell stepson??

Re: Finally Pregnant... how to tell stepson??

Choose Another Board

Search Boards