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Parenting after a Loss
grr_aargh
member
What's an average night? A rough night?
grr_aargh
member
I hear people talk about good nights, bad nights, etc - but what does that looklike exactly? Someone here was talking about their rough night one day and it sounded like our best nght, so I'm curious. . . (and an admitted masochist. 
) Also - when you count wakeups are they wakeups from dc's bedtime to wakeup or yours? I'l say to DH that we had a good night and only had 3 wakeups, for example, but that's from when I go to bed to when we get up, not DD. . .
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Re: What's an average night? A rough night?
Good night- 2 wake ups (from the time he goes to bed) normally at 10 and 3 to nurse and then fall right back asleep.
Bad night- 10 wake ups, mostly to nurse, sometimes has a difficult time getting back to sleep. He just went through a phase of up every 45 minutes from the time he went ot bed until about midnight...then up every 2 hours from midnight on.
I think my definition would be different depending on how old DD was at the time. When she was still a newborn. a rough night would be getting up every 2 hours to nurse and having trouble getting her back down to sleep afterward. A good night would have been a 4-5 hour stretch of sleep.
More recently, when she was 10-12 months, a rough night would have been 1-2 wakes a night, but with her not wanting to sleep again after nursing. She would either want to play for an hour or would cry for an hour. Each time. and she would wake up at 6AM.
Now, a good night is her sleeping from 8pm to 7 am.
I will preface this by saying we are extremely lucky. DD is an excellent sleeper.
A good night DD will go to sleep in her crib at 7:30pm, I will wake her at 10:30 to dream feed, then she will go down at 10:45 in her PNP in our room and sleep until 1-2am and I will bring her into bed with us and she will sleep until 6:30-7am.
A bad night and she never makes it into the PNP and goes to bed with us from the start.
Hmmm...
Good (typical) night: DS goes to sleep (usually in our bed) at around 7:30, and getting him down took less than 30 minutes. Wakes at around 9:30, then around 2, and then up around 6:15. Those wakings are quick "I want a cuddle", lasting only a minute or two, tops. He's STTN a couple of times, but they're not normal.
Bad night (last night): It takes me 1+ hours to get him to sleep because he's much more interested in babbling, singing, walking, rolling and playing with the cat than sleep. I give up at the 90 minute mark when he starts biting me for entertainment and bring him out into the living room. He passes out on the floor at 11pm, mid-playing, often face-first in his toybox. I move him to bed, and he wakes up instantly, screaming. I get him down after another 30 minutes. Then he wakes up, every 45 minutes, all freaking night long. He will only sleep ON me, not next to me, preventing me from getting comfortable on any level. DH and I argue at 2am about CIO, which we then remember DOES NOT WORK on my kid. So, we alternate with wakings until dawn, when DS completely passes the F out, just before my alarm goes off. He's then a whiny, miserable creature until his morning nap.
I ask mainly because my kids are NOTORIOUSLY bad sleepers. DS, at 9 months, woke every 45 minutes. DD didn't STTN until she was 2 1/2. Elsa, now, is what I'd consider a "good sleeper", but it's only comparative - because her nights are often what people describe as "rough nights".
Generally, she's up up up up up and awake most of the evening, has a short nap around 7 for 1 hour, goes to sleep around 9 or so for an hour or two, then is up for an hour or two, then goes down for one 2-3 hour stint, then is up every hour for the remainder of the night. A bad night is worse than that. A good night - our BEST nights - include sleep from 9 to 11, nurse, sleep until 3, nurse, and up every hour afterward (we had something similar last night. A four hour block was GLORIOUS.)
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A good night is M going down 8-9pm and waking between 7-8am. This happens all the time. He is a great sleeper.
I don't know what a bad night is... ::knock on wood::
I was this person. DS STTN from 6 weeks until he hit 6 months and decided sleep was for the weak-minded. Someone thankfully warned me that STTN was not always permanent, or I think I would have lost it.
A good night is 2-3 wake ups with minimal awake time (20 minutes or so). A bad night is anymore than 2-3 wake ups or refusal to go to sleep. Like last night when DD was up at 3:30 and didn't go back to sleep until 7! This is becoming more frequent and I think we are headed into the 4 month wakeful.
ETA: And I still go to bed with DD at 7:30 or 8.
That's what I'd call a good night, too. 2-3 wakeups from the time we go to bed. A bad night would be 5+ wakeups (I think Saturday night there were 8 or 9, but he was congested) and/or when I can't get him back to sleep with a quick nursing.
Before DD was here was DS going to bed at 7:30 and sleeping until 7:30 in the morning. A bad night was DS going to bed at 7:30 and waking up screaming for no reason in the middle of the night, only stopping when someone was rocking him, falling asleep immediately after being picked up and waking up as soon as we started putting him back in the crib.
Now that DD is here, a good night is when she only wakes once and DS sleeps all night. A bad night is when DS does what I said above and DD wakes 3-4 times.
Most of our sleep issues are the initial effort getting her to sleep for the first time at night. It usually takes 2-3 takes before she's down. Don't hate me, but she only wakes up once at night to eat and generally goes right back to sleep. It wasn't always that way of course.
A rough night would be only 10-15 minute cat naps, me holding her from 2-11pm until DH gets home. We had several days of that a few weeks back.
ETA: Right now I'm working on the transition from the RnP to the crib.
A bad night for us is DS goes to sleep in crib between 8-9pm and wakes up every two hours to nurse and we have to bring him into bed to get any sleep. Then he will wake up at 6am and be up for the day.
A good night (which has been more regularly now) DS goes to sleep in crib between 7-8pm and will sleep until 4 or 5am, bring him to bed to nurse and then he will sleep with us until 7-8am (maybe waking up one more time between 6am and 8am)
and a "ok" night is going to sleep in crib between 8-9pm then sleeping until about midnight, brining him into bed and waking up 2-4 times...
I feel like we haven't had bad nights since she started STTN. A good night is she's down by 10 and up bt 5-6. Occasionally she'll wake up once and eat and go right back to sleep.
Knocking on wood!! Though she only falls asleep being held, we need to start to work on putting her down drowsy but awake.
"And where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face? Now I see it everyday and I know that I am the luckiest."
Labor Buddy to Blowfish11
Hmm, I normally do not speak of LO's sleeping habits to other moms, but since you asked...
Great night: Down at 7pm, up at 6:30am.
Average night: Down at 7pm, wakes once at some point to eat and takes maybe 20 minutes to convince to go back down, up at 6:30am.
Bad night (for us): Down at 7pm, wakes at some point to eat and takes 2 hours to convince to go back down, up at 6:30am. Sometimes with some additional shorter awakenings in there but those don't bother me. Really I can't complain, clearly.
m/c 12/25/09 (5w5d) mm/c D&C 4/9/10 (11w1d) Take home baby 2/22/11
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I'm also a very lucky one. DD usually goes down between 7-8 pm and sleeps until 6:30-7. If she doesn't nap during the day, she will then fall asleep on the way home from my parents (my mom watches her) which is around 5:30/5:45 and then again sleeps until 6:30-7. Though that situation sucks for us b/c then we don't get to spend time with her, but her sleep is more important.
Good night - down at 8:30pm in PNP, wake sometime between 2 and 4 to eat, back in PNP to somewhere between 6-8am (we've had two good nights,and it's been awhile)
Bad night - down at 8:30pm in PNP, awake every half hour. She'll eat at some point, try to put her back in PNP and will not fall asleep. Eventually she'll end up in our bed and will sleep until sometime between 6-8am...sometimes another feeding in there.
Isabella Faith---Born 12/17/10 via c-section.
Abigail Marie---Born 11/16/12 via c-section
Every once in awhile I have to figure out if it's 1) that bad (yes) or if 2) I'm just a total wussy about sleep (no).
This helps.
But I'm in a particularly good spot today.
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Amazing night (Has only happened a couple times): one 5-7 hour stretch and one 2-3 hour stretch.
Good night: One four hour stretch and one 3 hour stretch
Bad night: Up every 2 hours or less
I count from her bedtime because I go to bed as soon as I can get her down. Which ranges anywhere from 8:30 pm to 10:30 pm.
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
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A good night is one wake up to eat, somewhere between 2-4. And one or 2 shout outs for the paci before I go to bed, plus maybe 2 shouts for the paci during the night.
A bad night, like just about every night this week - he goes to bed fine, maybe one or 2 paci cries. But wakes multiple times an hour for the paci starting after 11. Still usually only eats once, sometimes twice.
I'm one of the lucky ones... with an excellent sleeper (so far -- and writing this hopefully won't jinx me).
Good night: pajamas by 8; nurse or bottle at 8:30; asleep by 9, sleep til 7:30-8 a.m.
"Bad" night (and it's NOT bad, but it's the only other option): pajamas by 8; nurse or bottle at 8:30, asleep by 9; wakes sometime before DH & I go to bed (usually before 11), nursed or comforted back to sleep; sleep 'til 7:30-8 a.m.
She's been STTN since 8 weeks. The pediatrician told me to expect that she would "eat" more (whether nursed or by bottle) if she is STTN so early, and for a while, she was doing just that. She was drinking 7 oz bottles consistently, and drinking the whole thing.
The hardest part of her routine right now is that sometimes it takes longer to get her to relax after nursing/bottle. She's into looking at everything now, and is figuring out the decorations in her room. Usually a little shooshing and diaper patting will settle her, though. And there are some nights, especially after I've worked 3 nights in a row, where I swear she just doesn't want me to put her to bed; she wants her daddy. She'll nurse from me, but when it comes time to rock, she'll cry and when daddy comes upstairs, she'll settle down right away. C'est la vie of a working mama. It makes me a little sad.