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April 2011 Moms
SEX POST. awkward/hilarious/TMI and need advice
So, I decided to be really awesome to DH last night and put out in the shower. I prefer this because it means I don't have to change my sheets ( I hate dirty sheets). What could have been a fun experience turned into a total grunt and sweat fest from me. My legs and feet were swollen and I can't stand up straight, so I ended up bending over a little and hanging on to the washcloth bar on the side of the tub. Then that got uncomfortable, so I leaned forward more to brace myself on the side of the tub. Knocked all of the soap and shampoo onto the floor and my left foot. Keep in mind, I'm doing this all one handed because I've got my favorite lady-toy in the other. BAD FREAKIN' IDEA. I got hotter. And sweat even more. And DH was touching me, which was making me nauseated. FINALLY I 'finished' and literally fell forward, hitting my face on the wall of the shower... DH caught me before I totally crashed to the bottom of the tub, but he had to kind of lay me down there gently because my legs were SO tired from standing. I was trying to decided whether to laugh because I knew how stupid and awkward that whole process was or cry because I'm a big fat slob and don't even have the endurance for a 20 minute sex session. I got in bed and passed out in under 5 minutes and didn't wake up til 6 this morning. Oh yeah, and my back is KILLING ME from all that leaning forward... all 30lbs of belly were pulling me straight down. Never. Again.
SO, all that being said... help me out here. At 33+ weeks, if you're putting out, what positions are working for you? My friend suggested all 4's... but I generally get bored that way. I'm trying to be a good wife here but I know I look and feel so ridiculous it's hard.
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Re: SEX POST. awkward/hilarious/TMI and need advice
LOL. what a workout! the best for us without having to change the sheets is me on my back on the bed, but with my butt hanging off and legs up on his shoulders..nothing "liquid" touches the bed when you are done bc you can just stand on to the floor. It takes us a couple minutes to get me "situated" comfortably, but it works, I can still use my favorite lady toy too
Happy sexing to you
Last time we had sex was 2 weeks ago (when I was at 34 weeks), and we were still having good luck with me on top (with the exception of me feeling like a cow) It worked in a modified "spooning" position also. What about leaning over the bed?
We mostly do it on all fours, or some modified version of that. Otherwise, sitting on the couch facing each other (me on top) has worked. We try side by side, but its not my DH's favorite.
Lately it's been me on my back and him standing on the side of the bed. Or both laying on our sides, me with my back to him.
And I'd rather wash the sheets than knock myself out in the shower.
This made me laugh. I applaud you for being so inventive. I've given up. Whenever I make the sad attempt at sex, my husband just has to be happy with the lamest positions possible. We've been using the side of the bed alot, I scoot all the way to the end and either wrap my legs around him or place them to the side. Also, all fours, butttt I get no pleasure out of that one, I hold on to the headboard for dear life because I just knowwww that I'm going to loose control of my muscles and go slamming into it face first. I think we've hit the point where sex is going to be non existent until the 38/39th weeks when we use it to help move labor along if need be. It's a little depressing, but heck that man had fantabulous porn star quality sex (TMI I know) for 7 years. He can put up with a few months of lame/non existent no pants dancing.
Oh, I'm also not one of those considerate and sweet wives/girlfriends who give hand jobs or blow jobs. If I'm not getting off, he's not getting off. And that's how the cookie crumbles, lol.
Put a wash cloth or hand towel down under you then you only have to wash the wash cloth or hand towel when you do the regular laundry and not the bed sheets.
My DH can get off in any position. I prefer me on top because its most comfortable for me. At this point I don't care much for sex but I am a good wife and make sure he is pleased. He is a good DH because he never ask he always waits for me to start things.
Yeah thanks to bedrest (and just not wanting to) we haven't had sex in about 4 months now. Its bothering me more than him. He's one of those "ewe its weird..." guys. UGH!
omg lmao! I would never attempt this being so pregnant!
We have been doing the same old boring position for the last couple months, me on my back DH on his side with my legs up over his, make sense?
GL!
AMEN TO THAT.
DS2 born 2/22/13
MMC 5/16/14@8w2d
DD due 5/9/15 Please be our RAINBOW
growing a foosa
OP...this post was awesome! Let me say that I SO wish I was even in your shoes TRYING to get some booty! DH has been weirded out by it all...and was with DD as well...once I hit 24 weeks...all sexual activities ceased...I completely agree with wformickella's belief as stated above. Wish I could get lucky and just have DH close his eyes and picture someone else...wait...no, I don't really want that either. Oh well!
Thanks for the laugh, glad you survived it
This made me laugh harder than the original post! Number one, it's something I would do, but number two, It's so practical-- it's like Martha Stewart gives sex housekeeping tips. (And GHBEA I hope you don't think I'm making fun of you, because I'm not. I just found this extremely funny).
You gals are awesome! I didn't even think of using a towel of some sort. I don't think I'd mind being on top, except my weight has now surpassed his and I don't know if I can hold myself up without crushing him (skinny bastard). The legs off the bed thing sounds doable...
For the record, I really don't want to have sex. Ever. At all. It's hard to say no, though, when he gets this little twinkle in his eye and a little kids' grin and says, "Can we have playtime?!". He's so stinkin cute.
This exactly! Or doggie style with a little help from a lady toy! Can I also say I'm super jealous that your sexcapade knocked you out until 6am?!?!??! OMG, I haven't slept more then 2 consecutive hours since these babies were concieved!
I hate, hate, HATE rolling over at night into a 'wet spot'. It doesn't bother me necessarily that the sheets are dirty, as long as the wet spot is on HIS side of the bed
I don't change my sheets all the time. I mean, in college, when we were doing it 4+ times a day I'd change them pretty darn frequently, but I'm now ok with once a week, sometimes every other week when we're in one of our dryer spells.
Although, I can see people putting something beneath them if they're very "leaky".
Don't judge me, but we actually have designated fabric squares that I use for this particular situation and I keep them in a drawer beside the bed... I'm such a dork... I don't wanna change sheets every time we feel frisky. I'm glad to know that someone else does something similar too! Haha!!
LOL we have about 2 packs of wash cloths from Target that we lovingly call "jizz rags" LOL They are designated for such messy jobs.
I keep them in the drawer next to the bed.
This whole thread has me cracking up. I've pretty much given up on sex, though I may give it the ol' college try again soon.
For any TTGP grads, here are a couple of throwback "sexy time" pics from the "old days". I hope no one is offended.
I was crying (random mood swing) before I read this post and it cracked me up and put me in a better mood. Thanks, lol!
Glad you made it out ok...Keep trying; just not in the shower
We normally do all fours or me on top...we've also tried me laying vertical and him sliding between my legs horizontally. It was awesome and comfortable!
honestly - we just use a towel underneath us as to not dirty the sheets
)
as far as positions go we have not tried the shower this pregnant, but we usually go with some form of me on top or doggy style LOL - lame but they work - we both keep saying how much we can't wait for "normal" roll around and do whatever sex again - too bad that is still a couple months away! LOL