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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
ablou
member
Quit shaming non-breastfeeding moms (C&P with P&CE)
ablou
member
https://www.thedaily.com/page/2011/02/26/030511-opinions-column-breastfeeding-valenti-1-2/
Okay, for some reason, the clicky isn't working, but C&Ping the link works. It's a real article, people!!
I totally agree with all of this. I think that the pendulum has swung the other way with BFing, where those of us that didn't BF are looked down upon. Where I live, it's perfectly acceptable to BF your preschooler on a playground, but I have been given the side-eye when I broke out my bottle of Similac for my 6-month-old. I was criticized by my in-laws for not BFing.
I also always feel like I have to "defend" FFing Bean. Like, it's only okay if I tried and tried for months and months and pumped and hired lactation consultants and drank tea made out of bark and danced outside praying to the bewbjuice gods. So, I'm going to make a commitment to NOT do that anymore. I breastfed my son for a while, but he was mostly formula-fed. The important thing is, he is fed, loved, cared for, and awesome.
Care to weigh in??
I'm considering XPing this all over the baby boards....
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Re: Quit shaming non-breastfeeding moms (C&P with P&CE)
You might want to make sure your link actually works then.
ETA: NVM it is now working, I kept getting a 404 article not found error
I'm working on it! It's being wonky...
LOL, you should XP this, that would be interesting...
The link isn't working for me, but I get what you're saying. I BFed for 4 months and that was enough for me. FWIW, I did try really hard but it just wasn't worth it to be constantly stressed out to the point where DH told me I was making him depressed. I somehow survived on formula so what's the big deal? I will hopefully breastfeed my second child while I'm on maternity leave but I don't think I'll be hauling my pump around after that.
I also think extended BFing (like you said, BFing your preschooler) is weird and don't think I deserve to be flamed to death for saying it.
Fixed!!
Ditto pp- the link doesn't work. I don't have anything to say that's pro one side or the other, I just think people need to learn to respect that everyone does what they feel is best for them. This doesn't just apply to breast-feeding or formula-feeding, it applies to just about every parenting decision that comes up along the way.
GAH! WTF! Still not working.
Ugh. I'm sorry, but it's hard for me to respect the "I have every right not to BF" argument (which I truly believe) when it is followed by "and ewww, who is that weirdo BFing her toddler anyway?"
It worked. No worries.
I find this comment ironic coming from you since every.single.thing. you post tends to be judgemental and self-righteous.
i dont care that you formula fed your son - just like i dont care people put their kids on leashes, feed them mac-and-cheese or give them plastic toys.
In all fairness, we both said "preschooler", and not "toddler", I can't speak for teeah, but I think they are two different ages.
You seem to care a lot about what I say, since you take every one of my posts as an opportunity to spew venom at me.
It is so annoying when people are hypocritical like this. I don't care what your parenting decisions are but for heaven's sake don't get on your soapbox and tell me that you hate being judged for your decision and then in the next breath, judge someone else.
I personally don't care if your breast feed or formula feed. As long as your kid is fed, DS gets toddler formula now with his sippies of milk because he is picky.
Even though we EBF for the first 12 months and I fully believe that breast is best. Stress is not. For those moms that its to stressful to breastfeed, for what ever reason. Its not worth it if mom and baby are stressed
I just find it funny that the bump is the only place where if I say "BFing your preschooler is weird" I'll get flamed. Yet I can have the exact same conversation with 10 coworkers and we all agree. So I know I'm not the only one that feels that way, but if I say it on here, watch out!
The Bump is holy ground. Don't you know that? (You're not wearing shoes, are you!?!?!?!?)
Oh, hai. I believe you are judging her for being judgey. Not so angelic now, are we?
Yes, but all of my friends and family believe that breastfeeding is WAY better than formula. Does that mean that I should come on here and flame you? No, I should just keep my mouth shut as long as you are providing your child with the proper care. Perhaps you should do the same.
You're right! I should keep my secular opinions to myself...
Well, here's my opinion on BFing. I think every mom should try it, even if it only is for 2 days while in the hospital. But if they struggle with it and it starts to affect their own abilities to care for themselves, I completely support and respect a woman's choice to switch to formula. This is basically what happened with me. I BFed for 3 1/2 months and although I enjoyed the experience and I know it was great for DD, I was starving all the time (I could never eat enough--I couldn't even sleep cuz I was always hungry!) and always stressed about pumping (instead of taking naps when she napped, I was pumping). Plus DD had reflux and I constantly worried about my diet and how it was potentially affecting my milk, and thus contributing to her reflux. Oh, and DD was a marathon BFer. She wanted to BF all. the. time. The stress was just too much for me and I needed to give myself a break. I let her take the lead though--she let me know after a while that she preferred the bottle so we went from there and transitioned her to formula full-time.
lol, i have never said anything mean to you except that i find you incredibly judgemental. and yeah, that does bug me because judging others over harmless stuff (like formula feeding and toddler leashes) is a huge pet peeve of mine.
maybe you post about other things (?) and i just havent seen that side of you yet.
I think that's what ablou was trying to point out in the first place, that if even if you FF you are still "providing your child with the proper care" and yet other people make you feel like you aren't. And yet for some reason it's acceptable to say things like "you should at least try to BF" which, IMO, is putting down women that FF from the get go. But if I say anything that may put a negative spin on BFing, I'll get jumped on. It's just ironic.
All of this.....pretty much, anyway.
I think that's what ablou was trying to point out in the first place, that if even if you FF you are still "providing your child with the proper care" and yet other people make you feel like you aren't. And yet for some reason it's acceptable to say things like "you should at least try to BF" which, IMO, is putting down women that FF from the get go. But if I say anything that may put a negative spin on BFing, I'll get jumped on. It's just ironic.
@teeah: Yeah, I don't think anyone had a problem with the OP. In fact, everyone (that I saw) agreed with her. It was only when you agreed with her point and then judged extended BF that people jumped on you. Your statements=ironic.
Seriously the part in bold seems to be making fun of Breast feeders.....why should we allow a formula feeder to snark on us and we can't defend our views?
Yeh, we totally shouldn't judge you for FFing but you can judge ExBFing all you want. Your argument goes right out the window when you say crap like that.
It's a two-way street, people.
Ah but there were a couple examples of "I judge you if you don't at least try to BF" but no one will say anything about that. That's still a judgemental thing to say but no one bats an eye at it.
OP mentioned extended BFing, which made me think about something that happened in my office a few weeks ago, which then made me think about how different bump world is from real life. Probably a topic for another post entirely...
I didn't see that particular post but I agree that that is also a judgmental thing to say. I really don't see what is the big deal with just not giving a whoot what other people feed their children. Seriously, as long as it is food, who cares?!
So you specifically drank tea out of bark and danced outside praying to the bewbjuice gods?
Because to me that is making fun people who do anything to breastfeed?
OP- I am sorry that your in-laws criticized you for a personal parenting decision that was yours (and yours alone) to make. That is not cool. I really hope that nobody side-eyed you at the playground for feeding your LO formula. It's not like you were mixing up dirt and water to feed your child.
I still breastfeed my DD. My MIL likes to ask everytime she sees me if DD drinks "real milk" yet. She will then tell me that it will be my fault if DD never drinks milk (the horror) because I breastfed her past 4 months. (That is when my DH "self-weaned"). DH's family are the only people that have ever given me their unsolicited advice regarding how I choose to feed my child. My family wouldn't ask or would say that they were sure that I was doing the best for my DD.
In my group of mommy friends, I am the only one breastfeeding a 19 month old. One friend is breastfeeding her 13 month old. I offer her support whenever she needs it. One other friend breastfed to one year, then her DS switched to milk. All of my other friends decided (for different reasons) that breastfeeding wasn't the best choice for them. It has never been an issue or even something that we discussed. I hope that they never felt like I was judging them, because I wasn't. I never felt any judgment coming from them and that is the way it should be! As long as a parent isn't feeding their child karo syrup and evaporated milk, people should keep their opinions and judgments to themselves.
I breastfed DD till 3 days ago and people looked at me like I was nuts. I feel like I have been judged for breastfeeding and pumping at work (which I didn't enjoy but did it anyway). So it's a 2 way street IMO. I will say that I do hate hearing moms-to-be that complain about how much formula is going to cost and when I have suggested trying to nurse the baby, they say things like "ewww gross," or "that's too granola for me."
Yeah...that does take it a little far and seems to unfairly pokes fun at people who do try everything. But, I understand what OP is getting at - that there are only a few acceptable instances when formula feeding is okay. The whole idea that formula feeding is only okay if the mom tried everything to make a good go of breastfeeding is simply silly. But......leaving out the hyperbole would have been sufficient in getting that point across.
We attempted breastfeeding the first couple of days and DS absolutely refused to eat unless it was the bottle. For the first couple of weeks, it was constant screaming and crying on his part. It just wasn't worth it to us to put him through that if he really wanted the bottle and formula.
He did just fine, actually he thrived on formula. He has hit every single developmental milestone very early( as in a month or two), he was never overweight nor underweight, he is an excellent eater now, sleeps great and has only been sick once (just the other week with the 24 hour stomach bug). Considering all of this, I wouldn't think twice if our next one does the same thing. I made myself and other pro-bfers as well made me feel was horrible for not giving it chance longer.
No one should tell a mother what she should or shouldn't be feeding her child unless she is feeding the baby poison or something. Everyone should keep their opinions to themselves.
Hip, Ab isn't making fun of breastfeeders at all. She is just using hyperbole to illustrate how some women have to try everything under the sun to make breastfeeding work for them.
I think Ablou is a hypocrite. I'm tired of her making threads shaming mothers who feed their kids macaroni and cheese out of a blue box and using electronic toys instead of wooden.
So wooden toys and homemade food are her hill to die on instead of breastfeeding. How does this make her any less of a sanctimommy?
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