I have a confession

redblackstar · March 2011

First, yes this is an AE, used for privacy.

I know this is not Friday but I won't be on tomorrow and my confession is not flame free.

I am afraid I may cheat on my H. Some may say that I have already cheated on him, but I have not had sex with any other guy. I have gotten back in contact with an ex of mine and we have been engaging in some not so appropriate behavior. My ex, we'll call P, comes to see me every Monday and Tuesday for lunch. We sometimes meet up at the bar and have drinks. He has bought me gifts but I tell my H that I bought them myself. P and I send x-rated photos and videos to each other. We talk and text everyday all through the day.

I know what I'm doing is wrong. I know I should stop. I love my H and my family and I'm being selfish and it's horrible. But I love the time I spend with P too. I don't know why I even started doing this. I look so down on people who cheat but here I am pointing the finger at myself.

I don't know if/when this thing with P is going to stop but I'm afraid if I doesn't end soon, I will cheat on my H.

robinsokj · March 2011

Well, you're already having an emotional affair.

Why is this guy your ex?

AvidVertigo · March 2011

My advice - get out now while you can and preserve your marriage. GL

mommyofboys86 · March 2011

If you really want to stay with your husband, you need to stop what you are doing, tell your husband, and get counceling if your husband still wants to be with you.

DaisyFull · March 2011

I have half a feeling this is mud, but oh well, I'm just that bored.

You're a db. If you want to cheat, just leave your h and on the world goes.

greengirl0909 · March 2011

I'm not sure why you're posting. Are you looking for absolution of your guilt? Hoping we'll flame you back into submission? Seeking one person to tell you 'go ahead, sow your wild oats'? It you give us some idea of what you're looking for, we might be better able to provide it.

klcl8981 · March 2011

Do you have children? Don't you want to make more of an effort at your marriage for your children instead of being busy fooling around with your ex? Sex or not, it's still cheating to me. You obviously must have left your ex for a reason in the first place. I find this to be incredibly selfish.

If you don't want your current marriage, you better come clean soon. Your children will not appreciate coming to find out they have a liar of a mother, whether they find out now or 20 years from now.

Unknown · March 2011

This content has been removed.

FloF9 · March 2011

Sigh. It's the thrill of the chase that you're both into. I really strongly suggest you stop now. You're going to devastate the people that love you the most.

1ChikaBonita · March 2011

It seems to me that you don't want it to stop. At least that is what I am getting from your post. If you really love your H and family, you'd take the 1st step to putting an end to it. I am not sure what you are waiting for to take that 1st step to stopping this.

I hope you make the right decision for you and your family whether is to save your marriage or not, GL to you.

BFab11 · March 2011

You've already cheated. What if the situation were reversed? What if you found out your hubby was sending videos of himself to some other woman, buying her gifts, meeting her for lunch, etc. You'd feel like sh!t.

PiRSquared330 · March 2011

You've already cheated. Don't kid yourself about that one.

How would you feel if the roles were reversed and your husband was sending x rated videos to an ex and hanging out with her?

PrincessFiona9 · March 2011

mommyofboys86:
If you really want to stay with your husband, you need to stop what you are doing, tell your husband, and get counceling if your husband still wants to be with you.

If you want to make your marriage work, cut off all communication with "P" and get some counseling for yourself. Figure out why you're engaging in distructive behavior like this. I wouldn't tell your H until you meet with a therapist and discuss it.

doremi29 · March 2011

As someone who has been cheated on (by exH) in an "on-going" manner- which I would say your situation is seeing that you're meeting and contacting eachother often, not just a one night stand type thing- your H probably has more of a clue than you think. I knew something was wrong- I didn't know he was cheating, but something with him had changed.

Try to get yourself to realize that often, the affair isn't about your H or your ex- it may very well be that you are doing this to push aside feelings/issues. For my H, he was insecure and found comfort in another woman telling him how amazing he was. When she moved on, he was left without her and without me.

What is the relationship like with your H? You say that you love him, but how is your relationship?

yankeebaby2 · March 2011

I think you are suffering from a case of the grass is always greener.

This thing with P should stop today. I'm guessing you don't feel sexy or attractive since yopu had the baby so this is how you boost your self esteem.

Oh and Robin's right. You already cheated on your h by having this emotional affair.

My advice is to cut off all ties with P and never tell your husband.

yankeebaby2 · March 2011

mommyofboys86:
If you really want to stay with your husband, you need to stop what you are doing, tell your husband, and get counceling if your husband still wants to be with you.

worst advice ever. If she confesses it will make her feel better but her husband feel like shiit. That's why confessions is good for the soul. Your soul. Confession is actually selfish.

yankeebaby2 · March 2011

DaisyFull:

I have half a feeling this is mud, but oh well, I'm just that bored.

You're a db. If you want to cheat, just leave your h and on the world goes.

Daisy, I'm surprised at you! Why are you calling her a douchebag?

yankeebaby2 · March 2011

klcl8981:

Do you have children? Don't you want to make more of an effort at your marriage for your children instead of being busy fooling around with your ex? Sex or not, it's still cheating to me. You obviously must have left your ex for a reason in the first place. I find this to be incredibly selfish.

If you don't want your current marriage, you better come clean soon. Your children will not appreciate coming to find out they have a liar of a mother, whether they find out now or 20 years from now.

you guys give the worst advice. Staying for the children? I don't think you know your ass froma hole in the ground if you really believe that

DaisyFull · March 2011

yankeebaby2:
DaisyFull:

I have half a feeling this is mud, but oh well, I'm just that bored.

You're a db. If you want to cheat, just leave your h and on the world goes.

Daisy, I'm surprised at you! Why are you calling her a douchebag?

I have my reasons. I'm not going to share them on the board though, I'm not that brave.

I'm PMing you.

VanderLaan · March 2011

I say seek therapy and figure out why you are doing this. And move on from there. If that means leaving your husband or staying. Its not fair to him or your child (children) if this continues.

mm&m2010 2 · March 2011

redblackstar:

I know what I'm doing is wrong. I know I should stop. I love my H and my family and I'm being selfish and it's horrible. But I love the time I spend with P too. I don't know why I even started doing this. I look so down on people who cheat but here I am pointing the finger at myself.

You can't have your cake & eat it too. You have already cheated on your h & you need to decide what you want- your h or p. Sneaking around is not fair to anyone.

angel2118 · March 2011

PiRSquared330:
You've already cheated. Don't kid yourself about that one.

How would you feel if the roles were reversed and your husband was sending x rated videos to an ex and hanging out with her?

this

americanada · March 2011

you are selfish and have no respect for your family. stop it now! you could ruin your life. unless that's what you want.

eta: you're hurting people who love you and would probably never hurt you.

RedWingsFan · March 2011

redblackstar:

First, yes this is an AE, used for privacy.

I know this is not Friday but I won't be on tomorrow and my confession is not flame free.

I am afraid I may cheat on my H. Some may say that I have already cheated on him, but I have not had sex with any other guy. I have gotten back in contact with an ex of mine and we have been engaging in some not so appropriate behavior. My ex, we'll call P, comes to see me every Monday and Tuesday for lunch. We sometimes meet up at the bar and have drinks. He has bought me gifts but I tell my H that I bought them myself. P and I send x-rated photos and videos to each other. We talk and text everyday all through the day.

I know what I'm doing is wrong. I know I should stop. I love my H and my family and I'm being selfish and it's horrible. But I love the time I spend with P too. I don't know why I even started doing this. I look so down on people who cheat but here I am pointing the finger at myself.

I don't know if/when this thing with P is going to stop but I'm afraid if I doesn't end soon, I will cheat on my H.

Really? Because it doesn't sound like you do. You are already cheating on him, even if it hasn't led to anything physical - you're going on secret dates with this man, sending him racy photos/videos, lying to your husband about him.

I think it's disgusting.

redblackstar · March 2011

This is not MUD. I wish it was. I feel horrible. I don't know why I even started this up.

I used to talk to P all the time and hang out with him and we were behaved, with very little flirting. My H knew we were hanging out then. P started to cross the line so I cut off all communication with him except for a few text messages here and there. Then about a year and half later he tested the waters with me and I gave in.

I really do think I need counseling. I get plenty of attention from my H. He treats me great. Takes care of our love life. But for some reason I let this happen.

redblackstar · March 2011

americanada:

you are selfish and have no respect for your family. stop it now! you could ruin your life. unless that's what you want.

eta: you're hurting people who love you and would probably never hurt you.

You're right. I do need to stop. I don't want to hurt my family or my H.

yankeebaby2 · March 2011

redblackstar:

This is not MUD. I wish it was. I feel horrible. I don't know why I even started this up.

I used to talk to P all the time and hang out with him and we were behaved, with very little flirting. My H knew we were hanging out then. P started to cross the line so I cut off all communication with him except for a few text messages here and there. Then about a year and half later he tested the waters with me and I gave in.

I really do think I need counseling. I get plenty of attention from my H. He treats me great. Takes care of our love life. But for some reason I let this happen.

I think it's a good thing you recognize you are in over your head. If you love your husband and want to stay with him, cut off all ties with P and get into individual therapy for yourself. You are engaging in self detructive beahvior and sabotoging any chances you have at a happy marriage

Marc's Mrs. · March 2011

yankeebaby2:

I think you are suffering from a case of the grass is always greener.

This thing with P should stop today. I'm guessing you don't feel sexy or attractive since yopu had the baby so this is how you boost your self esteem.

Oh and Robin's right. You already cheated on your h by having this emotional affair.

My advice is to cut off all ties with P and never tell your husband.

I totally agree w/ Yankee. I think at this point you're addicted to the excitement of it all. You're caught in the daily grind of being wife and Mom and now some guy thinks you're hot so you trapse over to him.

I'd bet dollars to donuts that if you changed your attitude at home, your DH would respond in a similar manner as "P". How bout you cut ties with "P" and be your DH's mistress/girlfriend?

Cut this guy out of your life, delete all of the texts, emails whatever you have out there and be a real wife to your DH - the man you claim to love.

soldiersgirl78 · March 2011

yankeebaby2:

mommyofboys86:
If you really want to stay with your husband, you need to stop what you are doing, tell your husband, and get counceling if your husband still wants to be with you.

worst advice ever. If she confesses it will make her feel better but her husband feel like shiit. That's why confessions is good for the soul. Your soul. Confession is actually selfish.

I agree. I would most definitely not tell your husband. Stop what you're doing and work on whatever is missing in your marriage and if it's no longer something you want, get out of it the right way.

redblackstar · March 2011

McRib:
guppysown@yahoo.com:

I'm not sure why you're posting. Are you looking for absolution of your guilt? Hoping we'll flame you back into submission? Seeking one person to tell you 'go ahead, sew your wild oats'? It you give us some idea of what you're looking for, we might be better able to provide it.

Yes. agreed with guppy. Why are you posting? What are you looking for?

In my mind you have already committed infidelity. How would you feel if your DH was doing what you are doing? Do you believe in karma?

I'm posting because it's a confession. I know I have already cheated. I don't believe in Karma but I do know I'm committing a sin. If my H was doing this to me I would be very hurt. I've been on the other end of the stick. I don't know why I'm doing this.

spring_time · March 2011

redblackstar:
I don't know if/when this thing with P is going to stop but I'm afraid if I doesn't end soon, I will cheat on my H.

It will stop when you end it. Your posts sound like you are a victim of this personified affair. You are making the choice to cheat on your husband. You need to make the choice to end it.

Also, please don't come clean to your husband to purge yourself of guilt. That only helps you feel better, it does nothing but hurt your DH. End the affair and seek counseling for yourself.

Marc's Mrs. · March 2011

redblackstar:
McRib:
guppysown@yahoo.com:

I'm not sure why you're posting. Are you looking for absolution of your guilt? Hoping we'll flame you back into submission? Seeking one person to tell you 'go ahead, sew your wild oats'? It you give us some idea of what you're looking for, we might be better able to provide it.

Yes. agreed with guppy. Why are you posting? What are you looking for?

In my mind you have already committed infidelity. How would you feel if your DH was doing what you are doing? Do you believe in karma?

I'm posting because it's a confession. I know I have already cheated. I don't believe in Karma but I do know I'm committing a sin. If my H was doing this to me I would be very hurt. I've been on the other end of the stick. I don't know why I'm doing this.

No - WE don't know why you're doing this. You know why. You might not want to admit to yourself why but deep down you know why.

redblackstar · March 2011

No, I really don't know why. I do know that I will never tell my H to better my guilt. That would only hurt him and really not make me feel any better. I need to seek counseling but I'm not sure how I can do that without my H knowing.

It gets worse, P is not the only other guy. I also have "relations" with someone else but with him, it's strictly physical. I have no emotional attachment. With P I do, so I feel more guilty.

Marc's Mrs. · March 2011

redblackstar:

No, I really don't know why. I do know that I will never tell my H to better my guilt. That would only hurt him and really not make me feel any better. I need to seek counseling but I'm not sure how I can do that without my H knowing.

It gets worse, P is not the only other guy. I also have "relations" with someone else but with him, it's strictly physical. I have no emotional attachment. With P I do, so I feel more guilty.

Like PP's have said, it's really likely that your DH already knows something is up. Knowing now that you have 2 guys on the hook - I'm guessing your DH is probably somewhat suspicious.

I don't see why you'd need to keep your seeking counseling a secret from your DH. You can at least be honest with him to the point of saying you haven't felt like yourself in some time and feel like you need to talk to a professional about it.

yankeebaby2 · March 2011

redblackstar:

No, I really don't know why. I do know that I will never tell my H to better my guilt. That would only hurt him and really not make me feel any better. I need to seek counseling but I'm not sure how I can do that without my H knowing.

It gets worse, P is not the only other guy. I also have "relations" with someone else but with him, it's strictly physical. I have no emotional attachment. With P I do, so I feel more guilty.

uh, I can't believe I fell for MUD. I'm acting like this is my first time at the rodeo.

AvidVertigo · March 2011

redblackstar:

No, I really don't know why. I do know that I will never tell my H to better my guilt. That would only hurt him and really not make me feel any better. I need to seek counseling but I'm not sure how I can do that without my H knowing.

It gets worse, P is not the only other guy. I also have "relations" with someone else but with him, it's strictly physical. I have no emotional attachment. With P I do, so I feel more guilty.

Wow.... :headdesk:

RedWingsFan · March 2011

redblackstar:

No, I really don't know why. I do know that I will never tell my H to better my guilt. That would only hurt him and really not make me feel any better. I need to seek counseling but I'm not sure how I can do that without my H knowing.

It gets worse, P is not the only other guy. I also have "relations" with someone else but with him, it's strictly physical. I have no emotional attachment. With P I do, so I feel more guilty.

Wow.

You need help. Period. What you are doing is disgusting and selfish. You say you love your husband - if that is true (which I really don't think it is, but that's just my opinion) you need to end it with both men immediately.

mm&m2010 2 · March 2011

yankeebaby2:
redblackstar:

No, I really don't know why. I do know that I will never tell my H to better my guilt. That would only hurt him and really not make me feel any better. I need to seek counseling but I'm not sure how I can do that without my H knowing.

It gets worse, P is not the only other guy. I also have "relations" with someone else but with him, it's strictly physical. I have no emotional attachment. With P I do, so I feel more guilty.

uh, I can't believe I fell for MUD. I'm acting like this is my first time at the rodeo.

Wait- you are cheating on him with 2 guys?

Yankee- for the abbreviated challenged, what is MUD?

RedWingsFan · March 2011

yankeebaby2:
redblackstar:

No, I really don't know why. I do know that I will never tell my H to better my guilt. That would only hurt him and really not make me feel any better. I need to seek counseling but I'm not sure how I can do that without my H knowing.

It gets worse, P is not the only other guy. I also have "relations" with someone else but with him, it's strictly physical. I have no emotional attachment. With P I do, so I feel more guilty.

uh, I can't believe I fell for MUD. I'm acting like this is my first time at the rodeo.

I think you might be right.....I also think the AE might be trying to pin this on someone else, due to her SN, but that's just me...

yankeebaby2 · March 2011

mm&m2010:
yankeebaby2:
redblackstar:

No, I really don't know why. I do know that I will never tell my H to better my guilt. That would only hurt him and really not make me feel any better. I need to seek counseling but I'm not sure how I can do that without my H knowing.

It gets worse, P is not the only other guy. I also have "relations" with someone else but with him, it's strictly physical. I have no emotional attachment. With P I do, so I feel more guilty.

uh, I can't believe I fell for MUD. I'm acting like this is my first time at the rodeo.

Wait- you are cheating on him with 2 guys?

Yankee- for the abbreviated challenged, what is MUD?

Made up drama. With that personality, the OP probably can't get one guy to fvck her, much less three

AvidVertigo · March 2011

RedWingsFan:
yankeebaby2:
redblackstar:

No, I really don't know why. I do know that I will never tell my H to better my guilt. That would only hurt him and really not make me feel any better. I need to seek counseling but I'm not sure how I can do that without my H knowing.

It gets worse, P is not the only other guy. I also have "relations" with someone else but with him, it's strictly physical. I have no emotional attachment. With P I do, so I feel more guilty.

uh, I can't believe I fell for MUD. I'm acting like this is my first time at the rodeo.

I think you might be right.....I also think the AE might be trying to pin this on someone else, due to her SN, but that's just me...

Yeah, i just now got it. I don't believe the person she was trying to pin it on would even consider such a thing.

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