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2nd Trimester
So your husband's not a reader [of baby books]...
I knew when I married him, he didn't like reading. It's never really bothered me ... I too, have preferred vegging out by the TV over reading recently (too much reading at work!). However, when it comes to baby books ... I have felt a need to read up. When it comes to baby products, I read reviews through baby bargains. When it came to basics on breastfeeding, what types of things we needs to do pre-delivery (e.g. thinking about daycare options), and so on ...
No surprise, DH doesn't feel equally compelled to pick up any baby books. He figures he'll "figure it out" and that there's still "lots of time" -- I'm 25 weeks. It kind of annoys me a little bit because it makes me feel like I'm going to have the take the reins in initiating all things baby (giving him a heads up on what we need to do) ... which doesn't surprise me, but I'm not sure how much I like it. Any one else's husband like that? Maybe carrying a baby everyday makes you more anxious, and if you're a guy it doesn't hit you till the baby's in your arms.
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Re: So your husband's not a reader [of baby books]...
totally understand....mine was the same way, just wasn't going to read the books, i don't think he is alone either!! I would even put some in the bathroom!!! The best advise i can give you is we signed up for one for a class at the hospital, it was the one about what to expect about the actual labor. honestly you can read all the books you want about what to do when that baby comes...and none of it prepares you. He will learn while you learn and that is the beauty of being 1st time parents. I felt that i just wanted both of us as prepared for what to expect and do when we went into labor and it really paid off.
GL but know that he will be just fine without reading those books, you both will!!!
I wouldn't worry.
My H wouldn't be caught dead reading anything either.
I'll also be honest I'm also not one to read up on baby books and research to death. It actually stresses me out moreso than if I'd just left the book alone.
If we need to know something/really wonder, we google quick.
A lot of it is just learn as you go, trial and error and common sense.
DH knows I like to read/research so he pretty much just lets me do it. He knows I'll tell him the important stuff
One tip, put a WTEWYE or similar book with little snippets of information in the bathroom. I did, and then laughed out loud when he came out of the bathroom one day saying "I want to be part of the pregnancy!"
(a direct quote from the book).
My DH never picked up a single book when I was pregnant with #1, while I read everything I could get my hands on (which is just my nature). He did fine. A lot of caring for a baby and parenting is instinctual, even for men. The things I took the lead on, like doctor's appointments, when to feed solids, etc, were things I would take the lead on anyway, just based on the way our relationship works out. I think its actually been really good for me, because his laid back attitude totally balances out my slightly neurotic one.
FWIW, DH is a great, totally involved Dad. I think the best lesson I ever learned was that I had to let him be the kind of parent he wanted to be, once we both settled into our roles, things went fine.
Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
Mine isn't an instruction manual guy, either, and he's a great dad.
The one thing he DID do was watch the DVD version of happiest baby on the block. He was like the baby Whisperer, and passed on the info to every dad we know.
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That is definitely part of it. I don't think the idea of a baby seems real to most men until the actual baby is placed in their arms. They don't have the movement 24/7 to remind them, you know?
Anyway, my husband was the same way and is a fantastic father. I helped with some of the initial learning curve, but a lot of it is really trial and error anyway.
My DH hates to read too, and relies on me to read things and explain them to him. He LOVES that I really enjoy reading...says it makes his life a lot easier. He will look at something if its specific - read the 2nd paragraph on page 24 type stuff.
I did get him the "Father to Be Pregnancy Guide for Dummies", it hasn't arrived yet but I'm hoping I can find some good info to point out to him so that he has a better understanding of what I'm going through. Especially about the constant headaches/hormones/nosebleeds/dietary requirements/sex drive/etc...
DH has gotten really protective of me, and worries over everything that is actually considered "normal" but since he has no idea what "normal" is he gets freaked out.
I used to annoy me that he didn't have any desire to learn, but then I realized its because he totally trusts me to pick out the best information to share with him, and that I don't mind.
As long as my husband agrees with my well-educated decision making, we don't have a problem.
If he questions it, I tell him he can either do his own research or I can hit him in the head with a shovel.
I recommend DadLabs like all the way...
if he doens't want to read the DadLabs book (which was the only baby book I could get my DH to read) he can watch the videos on YouTube...pretty easy and a lot to choose from... that way he can pick the ones he's interested in...also they are written/filmed by men for men
My DH like all the diagrams that were in the book...lol
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.