Genetic couseling appt. (long)

We had our genetics counseling appointment today and I feel bad DH and I got nothing from it. Our OB scheduled us for it because we had a child with Trisomy 18. But they really couldn't tell us anything. All she could tell us was what we already knew: that our case of Tri18 was random (neither of us are carriers) and that it was not mosaic; what tri 13, 18 and 21 are and what are risks would have been at my age (25) WOULD have been if we didn't already have a tri18 baby but that they really don't know the odds for me because different studies show different things; my 1st trimester screen results which were normal (one number was a little low but still within a comfortable range and the other number was EXACTLY right one the money and the measurement was 1.9--well below 3).

She offered up invasive testing (which DH and I still don't necessarily agree on) which we declined for now. I said that right now to me the risks aren't worth the information that we'd get out of it. I'm 100% anti-abortion for ME (even after giving birth to a very sick child, those 5 days i had with her were the greatest gift anyone could have given to me) -- (side note: I'm 100% against abortion FOR ME...it's not my place to judge or make the decision for someone else and I don't look down on people who come to that decision) so having the information won't change anything for me except maybe ease the blow come delivery day. I DID tell her that if anything comes up looking a little fishy then we'll do an amnio 34 weeks or later because then we're not looking at miscarriage risks, we're looking at preterm birth and 6 weeks early isn't such a big deal and she and the doctor both agreed. DH agreed for support but he expressed his personal concerns in the car. He wants the information now but understands that I feel like it would be selfish to put a perfectly healthy pregnancy at risk just for information and I don't think I would handle it too well if something went wrong and we miscarried only to find out a few weeks later that everything was perfectly fine. And he agreed.

The doctor had us schedule our anatomy scan with them instead of with my OB because they specialize in high risk pregnancies and he said "they're better" which of course DH argued with. He said "well we came here every week for ultrasounds with Madeline and you guys didn't catch anything then" and the doctor had nothing to say. DH has huge issues with the amount of money we paid to them and them not finding anything and then us giving birth to an unexpectedly sick baby. we all just thought she was going to be small. But I disagree with DH's hostility. When we got in the car I let him know that I would prefer him not try to push people around. There's nothing anyone could have done even if they did find something wrong with DD during ultrasounds. But I understand his frustration (probably better than anyone since it was my baby too) so all I can ask is that he stop trying to find a person to blame for something that no one could have done anything about.

So anyway, I felt like it was a totally big waste of time for us. I know there are people out there who need to know everything all the time, but after what I went through with Madeline, I am more focused on enjoying  the pregnancy since that was really the only time i got to spend with her than worrying SO much an outcome of which I have no control over.