I'm curious about this — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

I'm curious about this

When you get your BFP, how do you think you'll share the news? I mean it sucks seeing FH's on Facebook now but will you post to the world when its your turn? I feel like I'll want to share the news but maybe keep the weekly updates at bay and will definately not complain about being preggers.  What are your thoughts?
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BFP #2: 7/15/2011...Stick baby stick!!!!
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Re: I'm curious about this

  • I don't think I'll be sharing the news for a very long time next time around, except for close friends and family.  For facebook - I might wait until I have a take-home baby.

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  • Before my m/c, I never even thought twice and just assumed that after we got to the 2nd trimester, we'd be shouting from the rooftops, especially on Facebook.  Now that I have gone through a m/c and had to deal with others posts on FB, I really feel it's tacky to constantly post with every dirty detail and fruit update.

    I was surprised by a couple of friends recently on FB who never announced a pregnancy but then all of a sudden had a newborn. 

    Made me think even more about how I'd handle it for us in the future.  I'm somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of no news and lots of news (much closer to not lots of news)

    I see a lot of things differently nowadays...

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  • I will probably do as I did last time. I waited until after the first appt. As far as facebook I don't think I will make an official announcement. I may post a 20 week u/s picture but then again I probably won't incase my fb friends are grieving of a loss they may have had. But close friends and family will know early on as I had tons of support from them.
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  • I will probably post the anatomy scan pics at 20w, and of course of the baby, but I will probably not post much about it as I hated un-telling everyone.
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  • After two losses, I don't think we will tell anyone until I start showing. Even though I appreciate the support from my family, I find it hard to disappoint them each time and watch them go through the pain. I might change my mind but for now, that's how I feel.
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    BFP #1
    07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
    BFP #2 01/14/11. EDD 09/25/11. Missed m/c 02/18/11. D&C 02/24/11. }Dustin{
    TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
    BFP #3 08/18/13. EDD 04/30/14. Missed m/c 09/25/13. D&C 09/26/13. }Daylin{
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  • i dont do facebook (this is my only online "social group" and im already addicted)

    everyone at work will know right away, same with family. thats about everyone in my social network right there. 

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  • I think I have the opposite feeling of most. I plan to 'announce' as soon as the pee dries. I announced very early with this past pregnancy and having the support of my friends and family was something I don't think I could live without. My baby had a strong heartbeat and was growing ahead of schedule at 12 weeks and it made me realize there is no 'safe point' Also if my next pregnancy ends in a loss I want to know I threw caution to the wind and lived each pregnant day blissfully happy. I will NOT however put anything on facebook! After my loss I realize how painful that can be to see, so I will just put it on my blog and if people choose to see my u/s pics and updates they can come to my blog instead being forced to see it everytime they log on FB. I think I'm definitely in the minority with my decision and I SO understand why others would want to wait to share the news
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  • I wont tell anyone until we are at least 10-12 weeks.  I just think for my sanity that will be better.  As for FB, I wont post anything until I am showing.  Even then, I will not make a huge thing about it.  
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    BFP#1 04/2007 ~ MC @ 7 weeks


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  • image lauren.cus:
    I think I have the opposite feeling of most. I plan to 'announce' as soon as the pee dries. I announced very early with this past pregnancy and having the support of my friends and family was something I don't think I could live without. My baby had a strong heartbeat and was growing ahead of schedule at 12 weeks and it made me realize there is no 'safe point' Also if my next pregnancy ends in a loss I want to know I threw caution to the wind and lived each pregnant day blissfully happy. I will NOT however put anything on facebook! After my loss I realize how painful that can be to see, so I will just put it on my blog and if people choose to see my u/s pics and updates they can come to my blog instead being forced to see it everytime they log on FB. I think I'm definitely in the minority with my decision and I SO understand why others would want to wait to share the news

    This exactly. I couldn't have gotten through my m/c without my support group, but Facebook will definitely be out. I didn't want to be "out" on Facebook to begin with but my inlaws had other plans so, I will have very strict rules when I get KU again.

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  • I'll post once 2nd tri hits, but def no weekly updates or belly/u/s pics for my page photo. That's just obnoxious!
    Easter 2010 BFP #1: EDD 12/7/10
    Natural m/c 4/17/10 at 6wk 5days.


    10/6/10 BFP #2: EDD 6/14/11
    Mtx shot 10/15 (5w3d) for cervical ectopic pregnancy


    5/11/11 BFP #3 3rd times the charm!!!
    Beautiful baby boy born 1/10/12 7lb 14oz 21 inches


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  • not telling a single soul except you gals and DH until I have a normal healthy anatomy scan --then i will tell family....and when i get a take home baby and someone sees me with an infant then they will put it together that i had a baby.....

    i have learned from the past....told work a few days prior to the anatomy scan (normal quad screen, and normal nT scan).....and then it all fell apart. SO NEVER again will i tell anyone.

    DC:#1 10/2006 born at 40 weeks (33 weeks PTL)
    DC#2 born silent at 22 weeks 1.11.11
    Dc#3 born vbac 1/2012 <bra DC#4 born VBAC 3/2014
  • Next time I will tell my parents and 2 best girlfriends right away. We didn't make it to the point of telling anyone either time - we were planning to tell our parents after seeing the hb and everyone else after the 1st tri. But I found our parents and my 2 girlfriends to be amazing supports so I want them to know right away next time. I may post the anatomy scan on fb and maybe a few PG posts a few times after that, but it won't be frequent at all. Even before TTCing, I found constant PG or kid-related posts to be annoying and/or tacky.
    TTC #1

    10/26/10 BFP: Natural MC at 5w,4d

    1/2/11 BFP: Natural MC at 6w,2d
    Dx: Compound Heterozygous MTHFR (A & C copies)

    3/12/11 BFP: Hoping 3rd time is the charm! EDD 11/20


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  • I only told my parents, and his parents, and didn't tell anyone else.  I was around 2 months pregnant when I had the miscarriage.  I think I'll wait til 2nd trimester next time.  I figured I'd tell people that I would want support from, and not my friends that are moms already!
  • I probably wouldn't post any kind of announcement until 20 weeks.
    Natural MCs 2/4/09, 8/22/09 & 4/7/10
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    5/17/12...1st Betas- 176, P4 3.6
    5/22/12...2nd Betas- 207, P4 6.1 (MC confirmed)
  • DH and I have had this conversation a hundred times. He wants to wait till we have our take home baby...but his parents live around the corner...they'd know as soon as I'm showing and it wouldnt be fair for his parents to know and not mine. We compromised. We'll wait it out and tell famile only at 12 weeks (if we can wait that long, lol). Everyone else will know when I start showing. I won't hide my belly pics or my thoughts from facebook, but i won't distastefully announce anything either. Any post made about our next pregnancy will be done from a hopeful and thankful point of view. And any ultrasound pics will be posted to an album but not to my wall.
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  • Did somebody just say "preggers"?

    Anyway, I will not be posting on FB. I will not be posting my u/s on FB. Yesterday I turned on FB (usually avoid it now) and there it was, ANOTHER u/s picture of yet ANOTHER cousin's LO, pretty much the same due date as mine. Slap in the face. I won't do that to another person.

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    BFP#1 - 8/27/10 - D&C 10/27/10 @ 13 weeks to Trisomy 18
    Missing our Angel Baby Gabriel
    BFP#2 - 3/18/11 - CP 3/19/11 BFP#3 - 4/27/11 - Due 1/9/12
  • When I get a BFP again, I am not telling anyone (other than DH obviously) until we see a heartbeat.  At that point, we will tell close family and friends.  Once we get safely past the 14 or 15 week mark, we will probably send an email out to family and friends who don't live near us and then start telling the people who do in person.  I refuse to post on FB until I have a healthy, happy baby safe in my arms.
    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
    BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12

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    ~*~Labor Buddies with Sweet Turnip - Welcome Baby Girl 2/23/12 & Aluenna - Welcome Ivy 1/6/12~*~
  • I could very well change my mind but I plan on letting my parents and my best friend know immediately...probably before it dries!

    I don't think I'm going to tell too many people face to face. But I know I'll be posting it on my blog. I have a ton of friends and aquaintances and even coworkers who follow my blog so I know they will find out relatively quick. I think I'm okay with that....but like I said I could change my mind.

    I guess it might sound weird but at this point I feel like I deserve to rejoice and share my news....I want to enjoy every single minute of all future pregnancies and part of enjoying that is sharing the good news. I know better than most people I know that babies don't always make it...which is why I want to celebrate that life from the beginning. Plus I know I'll need prayers to keep my sanity! :)


    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


  • I'll FB at 12 weeks and tell work at the same time.  I won't tell my parents until 6 wks though next time- I have been telling them immediately and then having to un-tell with the 2 CPs, and I'm pretty done with that.
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