So, yesterday I'd posted about how my family doctor was off due to her cancer, and how glad I was that she is back once per week and is beating cancer - and now I get to see her! So I just got back from her office. Let me start by saying that I really trust this doctor, she's really been there for me and has followed through with important medical attention on issues that others have ignored (e.g., endometriosis).
First, she gave me some tough love in two respects. You might be interested:
1) She told me that although I'm 36 and it's been a year since we first stared, including our loss, it's not actually been that long. She went on to say that the length of time I TTC'd before our BFP was not that long, we've had a setback, and we're moving on. She said that the fact that we have a genetic reason (Trisomy 18) that we do not carry, means it's a one-off and to let it go as it will likely not happen again. She also is the first person to tell me I am not old, and to get over that. She said that compared to many, I am young. I'm not 45. I have time.
2) This one you might really be interested in:
She told me to stop charting. I had printed out my charts and she told me to stop, and to stop now. I'm being referred to a fertility doctor that she trusts, and they will monitor my cycle. She told me that this temping, checking CM, OPKs, etc.is causing stress that produces a hormone (foget what it's called) that counters everything we're trying to do. She said that in some African cultures, they acutally use this mind thing (think about getting pregnant all the time) as birth control. I said, no way! She said, yes.
I said that it's the only thing I feel like I can control. She said that the one thing that will help is to stop this stress of charting, etc. and to get some endorphins going. Exercise, laugh, get fresh air, and have fun having sex. Do it every other day all month long, and it'll happen (as she says we have no diagnosed reason to think it won't happen, even with the loss).
Now, she is recovering from cancer. She told me that the one thing she can really tell me is the power of positive thought over our bodies. She said it might sound like hocus-pocus (her term) but that scientific/medical research is supporting these theories. She also said she wouldn't be sitting there recovering from cancer if she did do this at length during her sickness.
So, I'm not sure what I'm going to do for the rest of this month. But next month I am certainly taking a FF break. I have some thinking to do. What she said makes sense. I had some more blood work done, and will await the referral to the fertility doctor.
Then, I got home, and a friend referred me to this site (how timely). Anyone hear of it before? Looks interesting. https://www.circlebloom.com/fertility-pregnancy-programs/
Sorry so long. DH has been telling me to stop charting. Now my (incredibly amazing) doctor is insisting on it too. Hmmmmmm...........
Re: ***Back from Doctor - Interesting Appt.*** Longish
i think that's great feedback!!! 36 isnt old btw ; )
i did get pg with my son when i was charting....and i've read a lot of stuff about how stress doesnt affect getting KU.....but i know their are SO many differing opinions about this. but i do charting makes things overall stressful. most REs dont want to look at charts. they want to be the control freaks, not you.
one thing that i did with my m/c, that i might go back to doing, is to temp when i get my + OPK and then confirm the shift and then leave it at that.
ITS A BOY!!!! Born 11/13/11 BFP #4: 10/29/12 edd 7/11/12
Gosh, sounds like you had a wonderful appointment! So, that being said, do you think that you would be able to stop charting? I think it would be difficult to stop, for sure (for me, personally). I definitely agree with the power of positive thinking. The way I see it is this: it can't hurt!
Thanks for sharing the site, I think I'll check it out right now.
BFP 12/05/10 (EDD 8/8/11), empty gestational sac 12/31/10, natural miscarriage 01/05/11
BFP 03/03/11, EDD 11/09/11, We love you so much already, our sweet little munchkin!!!
*Congrats to buddies MrsAtch, cflocco, MommyandKate, luckylady55, opallover, trishiepoo, stephsteph77, and Pachita! Praying for healthy babies for all of you!*
*Congrats to my buddy, Izabella22 (BFP 5/11/11)!!!Sending you Ts and Ps for a healthy, take-home baby!
*Congrats to my buddy, myaddiwaddi06(BFP 10/31/11)!!!Sending you Ts and Ps for a healthy, take-home baby!
I'm glad she was able to put things into perspective for you. DH wants me to stop charting, which is part of why I made this plan to chart every other cycle. The one month I got pregnant (after 10 of trying), was the month I had given up - no charting, hardly any BD, no FWP. So maybe there really is something to this hormone business she's talking about. Everybody's body is different. Sometimes I beat myself up with things like, "ppl got pregnant in concentration camps, from rape, why not me?" That isn't at all productive though.
I'll consider this no charting thing. Too bad I have an unopened box of digital O tests.
My RE and my OB gave me similar advice.
However my RE wants me to start using the CBEFM (Clear Blue Fertility Monitor) for 6 months (due to endo) - if I don't have success he will do testing.
My OB (knowing my personality) said to stick with doing it every other day all month. Not to get involved with fertility monitors OR charting.
My acupuncturist thinks charting is the best method.
Very confusing when 3 different "caregivers" give different advice.
The month I got my BFP I wasn't charting (I did monitor CM) so maybe these doctors are onto something???
I am a strong believer in positive thinking. I feel the mind is a very powerful tool.
That's funny - my doc told my to stop temping too! He said if I wanted to do anything then use OPK's. I've already decided I'm not temping after I O next cycle, but now I'm thinking of dropping it altogether and just using the OPK. Hopefully I'll start sleeping better again. I swear I wake up all the time wondering if it's close to temping time and it drives me nuts.
I'll say, however, it was nice to temp for a while and assure myself that I was ovulating after the loss. Now that I know I am, maybe it's time to step away from the BBT.
TTC since 5/2010
DX with Diminished Ovarian Reserve - AMH of 1.1 - 7/2011; AMH of .42 8/2012BFP 9/1/10-M/C confirmed 9/8/10-Methotrexate 10/6/10
IUI #1 (w/clomid)-9/5/11-BFN ; IUI #2 (w/clomid)-10/5/11 - BFP - 11/1/12-No sac seen; 11/2/11 and 11/9/11-Methotrexate
IVF #1- ER 2/2; ET 2/5;-Two 8 cell embryos transfered = BFFN
Surprise BFP - 5/7/12
U/S on 6/8/12 - H/B at 128 BPM; U/S on 6/14/12 @ 9wks-No H/B-D&C on 6/17/12
IVF 2.0- ER 10/17; ET 10/20-One 12 cell, one 10 cell and one 8 cell embryo transfered
BFP! 11/16/12 U/S- Two nuggets with perfect heartbeats! EDD 7/10/13
5/31/2013- My miracles arrived at 34w2d! Welcome to the world Harper and Nolan!
My Blog- http://waitingonaangel.wordpress.com/
Honestly, I can't recall the name, 100%. I stupidly didn't write it down. But she highly recommends this person, and I really trust her referrals. I'll let you know asap when she calls me, ok? I think it was Dr. Ken Cadesky who seems to be at Mt. Sinai (this will be my 4th Mt. Sinai doctor with all my appts. re: the loss). Anyway, I'll let you know.
BFP#1 - 8/27/10 - D&C 10/27/10 @ 13 weeks to Trisomy 18
Missing our Angel Baby Gabriel
BFP#2 - 3/18/11 - CP 3/19/11 BFP#3 - 4/27/11 - Due 1/9/12
Thanks for all of your replies. I've been thinking a lot this aft (and napping, since I took the afternoon off to go to the doctor!) I am glad that I've been temping and charting. I know so much more about my body. Which is good - but also bad in a way. My doctor was really adamant about my stopping the charting, and about the positive thinking thing.
DH and I talked after the appt and realized that when we got our BFP last summer, I was using OPKs but we were having sex sort of now and then. Not as much as we are now.
So, I think I'll pee on sticks this month, make some more relaxation appts (massage, facial, etc.) and try to calm down. If we ever book ourselves this vacation, I'll be on a beach during the 2ww and likely won't temp anyway. Who knows!
BFP#1 - 8/27/10 - D&C 10/27/10 @ 13 weeks to Trisomy 18
Missing our Angel Baby Gabriel
BFP#2 - 3/18/11 - CP 3/19/11 BFP#3 - 4/27/11 - Due 1/9/12
My dr said the same thing. Charting will just stress you out. so I'm not doing it anymore. especially since my RE will be monitoring my cycle.
thanks for sharing this!
I've given a lot of thought to the charting thing.
When we were first TTC we just BDed every day for like 2.5 weeks straight and had fun and I read pregnancy books and thought about how great it was going to be. I wasn't even sure when I would O bc I never tracked my cycles. I ended up KTFU the first try.
Now.... we're doing everything by the book, charting, checking CM 80 times a day, using preseed, using OPKs.... and not having much luck.
We're going to TTA for a while, but I may try without charting when we TTC again.
BFP#1: 7/23/10, EDD 4/1/11, MC/DNC 9/29/10(14wks)
BFP#2: 1/12/11 CP (6 Weeks)
BFP#3: 6/26/11, EDD 3/4/12, Natural MC 8/5/11 (10wks)
I got pregnant twice while charting so I'm not too sure I'd be willing to give it up. I think I'm ok as long as the charting doesn't create extra stress. I'm all for incorporating more relaxation throughout the month! Massages, wine, hot sex....sounds great! I'm glad your appointment went well.
Dx with Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APS)
BFP #4 5/14/12
5/17/12...1st Betas- 176, P4 3.6
5/22/12...2nd Betas- 207, P4 6.1 (MC confirmed)
Your doctor sounds awesome! I think she's on to something too. I was originally charting so I could get a feel for what my body was doing and to have something I could give to my doctor if our efforts weren't working out - making sure I was O'ing, tracking the length of my LP. (She told me to come and see her after 4 cycles if we haven't had any luck.) So now the 4 cycles are up (pretty sure anyway, started spotting today) and I have an appt with her in 2 weeks.
I think I'll give her my charts, but as soon as AF shows, I'll stop temping and give this new approach a whirl as it appears my cycles are really regular (knock on wood). When we conceived Ace I wasn't doing anything. I used OPKs for the 2 months prior to TTC so I could figure out when I O'd but that was it - and we conceived the first cycle (ah, the good ol' days). Thanks for posting this - you have no idea how much I appreciate it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Siggy Warning~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know, it's funny - I brought my charts thinking she'd be impressed with my knowledge and the control I was taking over my situation. Boy was I wrong! I'm still thinking about what I'm going to do (I did just POAS - negative OPK). But she really started me thinking. I don't think relaxation or a stress-free life is the only thing that will do anything, that's for sure, but I was more relaxed than I'd been all year when I did get my +HPT.
She was really adamant about the research being done on positivity, and visualization, on your cells, with this cancer situation to prove it. She said to actually visualize the sperm meeting the egg, visualize implantation, visualize myself pg. Knowing it sounded really new-agey (she IS an MD, not a naturopath), she told me that drug companies (and I suppose, companies like FF) don't get rich off of this type of thinking.
Food for thought, anyway.
BFP#1 - 8/27/10 - D&C 10/27/10 @ 13 weeks to Trisomy 18
Missing our Angel Baby Gabriel
BFP#2 - 3/18/11 - CP 3/19/11 BFP#3 - 4/27/11 - Due 1/9/12
sounds like you have a great Dr. and she's looking out for your best interests. It seems like she has an interesting train of thought and maybe something to it. I hope things fall into place for you Maybe there is something to positive thinking. My best wishes, thoughts and luck to you friend.
It's funny that DH and a good friend of mine were telling me the same thing last eek... stop doing temp and charting and just BD, and have fun. Before loss, I started charting for 2 weeks, then my friend said ... stop... you are just starting out.. give it a bit... have fun.. and then in a few months if nothing, then try, but don't stress yourself. So I decided, I'd try that.. I started working out, quit doing temp.. (did OPK based on my cell app) and it seemed to work that next mo. So now... they are saying the same thing. DH says to just have sex, have fun and stop stressing over it -if it's meant to happen this month, then it will, if not, then try again.... Ugh.. I want to keep going this mo. just to see if my body is back to normal after 1st AF after D&C... but not sure after that..?
Let me know what you decide.
BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12
~*~My BFP Chart~*~Our Story~*~
~*~Labor Buddies with Sweet Turnip - Welcome Baby Girl 2/23/12 & Aluenna - Welcome Ivy 1/6/12~*~
PGAL/PAL welcome
BFP #2 9.12.12, EDD 5.24.13, Baby Boy Born 5.15.13!!
My Ovulation Chart
3 Clomid (100mg) cycles + TI + Trigger = BFN's, Femara + Trigger + IUI#1 = BFN
Femara + Trigger + IUI#2 = BFP!
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will." ~Gandhi