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DSS being bullied
I always drive DSS to school and pick him up. Friday my car wouldn't start so I had to wait for DSS to bring me the key to the spare car so I told DSS he could walk to school. His elementary school is only a couple blocks away in the neighborhood. I get a call from the school nurse saying DSS was bullied and hit by an older kid on his way to school. I was LIVID. I picked DSS up, had him show me what bus stop the kids were at that did it, called the county's transportation department to see what bus picks up there around 7:30 and found out what time they got dropped off. It was middle school kids. DSS is in 3rd grade - he's 8. I showed up at the bus stop and talked to some kids who said they knew who did it and they saw it. They told me what happened and told me they didn't know the kid's name but that they could point him out and that he didn't ride the bus home. I got my 7th grade neighbor to go talk to the boys who then told him the kid's name. I found out who it was - it's a 200 lb 7th grade boy who is like 5'6. WTH? Seriously - picking on a 3rd grader?? I have the kid's mom's phone number and I'll be calling her this afternoon. I'm told she's a very involved mom who works for the sheriff's department. I've calmed down but I'm still so angry. My kid looks no more threatening than Harry Potter - glasses and all. I don't know if talking to his mom will even do any good but I think I'm going to demand that she enroll her kid in the Communities and Schools counseling program or that I'm going to persue further means. Am I being too crazy here? What would you do?
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Re: DSS being bullied
hell NO you are not being crazy! I'm actually impressed you have gone to the lengths you have already - I don't know that I would know where to start besides going to the school.
with everything that has happened re: bullying lately, you are doing the right thing. the kid needs to learn now that what he's done is completely unacceptable.
hope your DSS is ok;(
I think you are doing the right thing. You are your sons only advocate.
It could be the case that the bullying boys mom has no idea what her son is doing or maybe she is in denial about his behavior and this might just be the wakeup call that she needs.
First of all, I'm sorry. This is one of my biggest fears w/ the boys and I applaud your for being on top of it. In no way is this at all acceptable nor excusable.
Having said that- I wouldn't go into the phone call w/ a "demand" per se. If she *is* an involved mom, give her an opportunity to handle it w/ her kid. I know that if a mom called me and told me what to do/ how to raise my child, I'd for sure go all momma bear on them and it wouldn't solve the issue at hand.
Let her know about your DSS- how he reacted (clearly, he was either hurt or scared to have gone to the nurse), how he is feeling now (scared to walk to school, intimidated by the older kids, etc). Tell her these things and try to gauge her reaction and listen to her feedback regarding her own child. Has he done things like this before? Are they having trouble at home?
You could slide in the conversation that there is a Community in Schools counseling program, especially if she mentions that this is not a one time thing.
Finally- remember that your info (so far) is second hand from 7th graders. Be absolutely sure that they have identified the correct kid and aren't just trying to pin it on someone else (which is *totally* something my friends and I would have done in 7th grade).
First of all, I agree that it's terrible that a middle schooler would pick on a 3rd grader, and I think it's good that you're going to talk to his mom. However I do think that this:
Is going too far for a one time incident - way too far. It's going to put his mom on the defensive, when it sounds like she would be very interested in dealing with the matter herself.
I may be alone in this, but I don't think that a child who picks on another child necessarily needs counseling. Kids can be cruel, and while that is not acceptable and should be dealt with (especially since it got physical, which is terrible), unless there is some kind of sociopathic stuff going on I don't think it's a mental health issue that requires professionals to be involved. Especially if the parents are willing to work on it themselves.
I do totally understand why you're so upset, and I would probably be furious too, if something like that happened to my children. You sound like a really great and caring step mom
Ditto everything mcurban said here. I'm so sorry this happened to your son. It is a huge fear of mine as well. I hope I can handle this situation half as well as you have in the future.