Gender: Why did or didnt you find out!!

princessjulia28 · February 2011

So ladies here is my minor problem.

I have my anatomy scan tomorrow. I have adamantly been team green this whole time. Recently though I have been thinking I want to know the sex! I know some people think not knowing is silly.. My reasons for knowing are the little clothes and just knowing.. My reasons for not knowing, the suprise of it all.

So help me out. What were your reasons for finding out the gender? or For not finding out the gender?

Thanks ladies maybe I can talk myself into one way or the other DH says its my choice.. uugghhh lol

KRISLIEL · February 2011

We dont know yet, but are certainly finding out. I have 2 reasons why.

1. I am too impatient to wait haha

2. Before baby is born you recieve a TON of neutral clothes. Then as soon as the doctor says "Its a ...." people run out and buy gender specific clothes. Thus, basically doubling your babies wardrobe. I know many woman who knew the sex of their baby and STILL didnt get a chance to put everything on the child. Imagine how much of those gifts go to waste or are given away simply because "there was too much."

mainemommy · February 2011

I found out with my daughter because I couldnt not find out. With my son, because I wanted to spite his "father".

We're not finding out this time because its our last baby & our last chance at a surprise. Im looking forward to Jeff telling everyone that its a boy/girl & I think its going to be well worth the wait.

MamaCoffin · February 2011

I wanted to know just because I literally would go mentally insane if I had to wait until July. It is so amazing to be able to call her "she" or say "Lucy is really moving around today". We had previously been referring to her as "it" or "meatwad" (blame that one on my FI lol). She just seems more a part of my life now that I know who she is. I feel it's already given her an identity. I have been so much more at ease with this pregnancy since finding out.

Stacey1213 · February 2011

KRISLIEL:

We dont know yet, but are certainly finding out. I have 2 reasons why.

1. I am too impatient to wait haha

2. Before baby is born you recieve a TON of neutral clothes. Then as soon as the doctor says "Its a ...." people run out and buy gender specific clothes. Thus, basically doubling your babies wardrobe. I know many woman who knew the sex of their baby and STILL didnt get a chance to put everything on the child. Imagine how much of those gifts go to waste or are given away simply because "there was too much."

This, plus I love to plan anad make sure everything is done. GL

njohnson1972 · February 2011

I am Team Green.

I am also a complete control freak. And this is the one thing in life that I want as a surprise.

Plus, this is our first baby and I don't want a girl or boy theme anything. Because we hope to have #2 right away and it will be in the same nursery.

I also had a friend that didn't find out. It was just amazing being outside the delivery room when her DH came out an announced their son's name. It was just more exciting delivery to me than that of friends that already knew what they were having.

Even my RE said it was a great experience finding out at the delivery.

futuremrscrocco · February 2011

We wanted the surprise the first time around and up until last week (well until our u/s on the 7th) we were going to be Team Green again this time.

Instead of writing a long reply I'll just link you to a post I did last week so you'll get a better understanding of why we're not Team Green this time.

https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/49419482.aspx

ETA: Looking back now I do not regret being Team Green at all! In fact I highly recommend it. It's just that those first two weeks were a little rough, not generally because of being Team Green. I think I'm going to enjoy both experiences, being Team Green once and finding out another time (we're two and done).

damabo80 · February 2011

I figure labor day will be surprise enough...I didn't feel the need to delay a surprise (which will help me to bond to with this baby) until then. I figured we could celebrate our boy/girl earlier, and celebrate the arrival of our boy/girl at delivery. I'd rather have two joyous surprises spread out rather than one.

bethybjj2 · February 2011

Our appointment is today and we have been team green this whole time! So now I am the one on the fence and my husband is willing to go either way. So we talked last night and I was just telling him how I think it's a boy and what if the whole time I think it's a boy, and I envision this for the next 22 weeks, and then it's a girl! No matter what I won't be unhappy because we both just want a healthy baby. I am so sensitive though I feel like I am going to do this baby harm by thinking it's something it's not! I know...I am an over-thinker!

heather_09_15_07 · February 2011

We were team gren with DD and this one, too. There was nothing quite like the moment she was born, hearing the doctor tell us we had a daughter. And then to hear DH call his family and mine. There are so few surprises left, that was one we really savored waiting for.

Christine G · February 2011

1. I feel much better being able to refer to /think of her as a "she" rather than not knowing.

2. I figured it is a surprise either way.

3. I'm hoping it will help make the name choosing a bit easier by only having to focus really hard on one name vs.two. We have some boy name ideas we can fall back on but won't focus anymore on them now that we were told she's a little girl!

Hope this helps!

MuseumMaven · February 2011

We were originally team green, because we felt like there are so few true surprises in life. Then we found out it was twins. SURPRISE!

Now we feel like we want to be as prepared as possible for their arrival, since we're going too be VERY busy.

TristaD81 · February 2011

There's a very small part of me that would like to know so I know what clothes to buy and I could call baby by his/her name instead of just saying "baby".

However, for me, those things to not outweigh the awesome anticipation of finding out the gender in the delivery room. After all these months, and all the hard work of labor, hearing from my H "It's a ____!!!" is going to be amazing. I'm actually tearing up just thinking about it (darn hormones!). And being able to call my Mom and my Dad and everyone else, "It's a ____!!!" That is going to be awesome.

ring_pop · February 2011

I am on Team Green. Actually I'm just going to C&P what I wrote on my blog yesterday:

As of right now, we will be waiting until the birth to find out. There is so much that we're guessing about the little one, and I kind of like the sense of anticipation. Will it have his eyes or my nose? Will it have straight or curly hair? Will it have dark or light skin? Fussy or easy? Chubby or skinny?

I like the whole package - bundle of joy, if you will - of unknowns. So as of now, we will be on Team Green.

LnR70707 · February 2011

For me, I wanted to be able to enjoy just the surprise of finding out, without the craziness of birth & recovery. At DH's suggestion, we had the tech give us a sealed card and we opened it together later.

DH was on the fence until about 17 weeks, when he decided he wanted to know so he could talk to the baby. I think it helped him a lot on a bonding level to find out.

zsharky · February 2011

I wanted to know because I wanted time to plan things out. I wanted to be able to plan the nursery which would be puppy-themed either way, but I would have needed to work harder on finding puppy stuff that isn't boyish. Also, I feel like the baby itself will be a surprise and it is exciting to know what he is going to be.

Lastly, and maybe most importantly, we are Jewish. We also live in (what feels like) the middle of nowhere. I wanted to have more than 8 days of warning before finding a mohel and planning a party. Now that we know he's a boy, we have plenty of time to feel prepared even though we won't know the exact day of his bris until he is born.

Jay_Cee · February 2011

We didn't find out just for the suspense of it all. We think it's fun not knowing, and it is definitely saving tons on clothing. Also, it forces us to be gender neutral with all the reusable items, which is good.

Right before the anatomy scan I was wavering big time. I really wanted to know the sex just to make it easier for name choosing, and I felt maybe I'd feel differently about the baby knowing the sex. However, when the time came, I realized I really didn't want to know the sex. I don't need to know it for bonding, especially after seeing him/her up on that screen! Now that it's over and we are still team green, I couldn't be happier with my little surprise.

Either way, it's still a surprise. I'm sure you will be just as excited and surprised tomorrow as you would be at your delivery day should you choose to find out at your scan. Good luck with your decision!

Shelleybell · February 2011

I am impatient and had to know that is basically it. The thought never crossed my mind to not find out.

jlefief · February 2011

There are a TON of suprises when baby is born and a flood of excitement and joy. Adding one more in there will not change that.

If you wait, then DH will probably announce it in the waiting room and you won't even be there for the announcement. I wanted to share the exciting news and be a part of it myself too.

It helps prepare, tie an identity to the baby. And once baby is born, you will be loving dressing them in pink or blue. Neutral clothing in public just produces the annoying question "Boy or Girl?". All those clothes get wasted.

Mrs.Leah.Maria · February 2011

I certainly don't think being Team Green is silly!

I chose to find out with both DS and LO because of my issues with attachment. I needed to know how to prepare my heart.

MPSW · February 2011

We were team green with LO#1, and will be again for this baby. My reason is the exact opposite of the PPs ... it's *NOT* a huge surprise. It's either a boy. Or a girl. It's not hard to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for a 50/50 outcome. I didn't bond any less with my daughter in utero b/c I couldn't call her "she". I never respond to the baby as "it."

Unpopular opinion alert: I think the "are you finding out!?!" debate to be totally overblown and weirdly divisive. I don't understand why people literally get angry or annoyed with us when we say we're waiting until the baby arrives. 9 mos isn't that long to wait, and there really isn't that much you HAVE to do before the baby arrives. You need a carseat, diapers and a few onesies. It's amazing what you can do with the internet in the days following the baby's arrival. And this is coming from the *most* type A obsessive planner of them all...

I had a two showers before DD was born, and people actually didn't buy clothes. We got a lot more of our "gear" since people weren't rushing out to buy "Daddy's Princess" or "Lil' Slugger" onesies. We knew we wanted more than one baby, so we registered for all gender neutral gear. The stroller is red. The snugride is black, gray and tan. The nursery furniture is white with brown accents. My mom and I picked out two layettes -- one for a girl, one for a boy -- and just bought the one we needed when the time came.

Once DD was born, it was fun to plug in with the girlie accents like crib sheets and clothes. But we're not into pink anyway, so she ended up wearing some of the stuff I picked out for my boy's layette.

It all works out whether you find out at week 20 or week 40.

heather_09_15_07 · February 2011

MPSW:

We were team green with LO#1, and will be again for this baby. My reason is the exact opposite of the PPs ... it's *NOT* a huge surprise. It's either a boy. Or a girl. It's not hard to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for a 50/50 outcome. I didn't bond any less with my daughter in utero b/c I couldn't call her "she". I never respond to the baby as "it."

Unpopular opinion alert: I think the "are you finding out!?!" debate to be totally overblown and weirdly divisive. I don't understand why people literally get angry or annoyed with us when we say we're waiting until the baby arrives. 9 mos isn't that long to wait, and there really isn't that much you HAVE to do before the baby arrives. You need a carseat, diapers and a few onesies. It's amazing what you can do with the internet in the days following the baby's arrival. And this is coming from the *most* type A obsessive planner of them all...

I had a two showers before DD was born, and people actually didn't buy clothes. We got a lot more of our "gear" since people weren't rushing out to buy "Daddy's Princess" or "Lil' Slugger" onesies. We knew we wanted more than one baby, so we registered for all gender neutral gear. The stroller is red. The snugride is black, gray and tan. The nursery furniture is white with brown accents. My mom and I picked out two layettes -- one for a girl, one for a boy -- and just bought the one we needed when the time came.

Once DD was born, it was fun to plug in with the girlie accents like crib sheets and clothes. But we're not into pink anyway, so she ended up wearing some of the stuff I picked out for my boy's layette.

It all works out whether you find out at week 20 or week 40.

I like you. A lot.

princessjulia28 · February 2011

TristaD81:

There's a very small part of me that would like to know so I know what clothes to buy and I could call baby by his/her name instead of just saying "baby".

However, for me, those things to not outweigh the awesome anticipation of finding out the gender in the delivery room. After all these months, and all the hard work of labor, hearing from my H "It's a ____!!!" is going to be amazing. I'm actually tearing up just thinking about it (darn hormones!). And being able to call my Mom and my Dad and everyone else, "It's a ____!!!" That is going to be awesome.

I feel this way exactly I just couldnt put it into words. I think I know what I truly want!!

THANK you so much you wonderful ladies XOXO

TristaD81 · February 2011

heather_09_15_07:
MPSW:

We were team green with LO#1, and will be again for this baby. My reason is the exact opposite of the PPs ... it's *NOT* a huge surprise. It's either a boy. Or a girl. It's not hard to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for a 50/50 outcome. I didn't bond any less with my daughter in utero b/c I couldn't call her "she". I never respond to the baby as "it."

Unpopular opinion alert: I think the "are you finding out!?!" debate to be totally overblown and weirdly divisive. I don't understand why people literally get angry or annoyed with us when we say we're waiting until the baby arrives. 9 mos isn't that long to wait, and there really isn't that much you HAVE to do before the baby arrives. You need a carseat, diapers and a few onesies. It's amazing what you can do with the internet in the days following the baby's arrival. And this is coming from the *most* type A obsessive planner of them all...

I had a two showers before DD was born, and people actually didn't buy clothes. We got a lot more of our "gear" since people weren't rushing out to buy "Daddy's Princess" or "Lil' Slugger" onesies. We knew we wanted more than one baby, so we registered for all gender neutral gear. The stroller is red. The snugride is black, gray and tan. The nursery furniture is white with brown accents. My mom and I picked out two layettes -- one for a girl, one for a boy -- and just bought the one we needed when the time came.

Once DD was born, it was fun to plug in with the girlie accents like crib sheets and clothes. But we're not into pink anyway, so she ended up wearing some of the stuff I picked out for my boy's layette.

It all works out whether you find out at week 20 or week 40.

I like you. A lot.

Yes

absent*minded · February 2011

njohnson1972:
I am Team Green.
I am also a complete control freak. And this is the one thing in life that I want as a surprise.
Plus, this is our first baby and I don't want a girl or boy theme anything. Because we hope to have #2 right away and it will be in the same nursery.
I also had a friend that didn't find out. It was just amazing being outside the delivery room when her DH came out an announced their son's name. It was just more exciting delivery to me than that of friends that already knew what they were having.
Even my RE said it was a great experience finding out at the delivery.

I have the same feelings as this post.

I am a Type A control freak type, but I do not feel a need to find out at all before labor/delivery.

Billions of women before us waited until the birth to find out without bonding issues with their babies.

boogerbearoriginal · February 2011

I wanted to know, but really it's just because it's what a majority of my family/friends have done so it's the 'norm' for me. Not finding out didn't really cross my mind.

I don't really have a well-thought out reason for either way but IMO this is a situation where you should do what you want and not worry about anyone else. There's no 'right' way.

CandacePM · February 2011

I was going to be team green but my husband wanted to know. I feel like this is both of our journey, so I have no intension of dictating to him. Some people would suggest my husband should have found out and I should have waited but we are a team so we found out together and celebrated together.

HOWEVER. We tell people we don't know and we will reveal the gender at the shower since we still want neutral stuff.

MrsCase1 · February 2011

well, i have always been team green since before prgnancy but the comments have gotten out of control and i have been worn down. i will be finding out the gender next month, against my wishes. Crying

ellelepa · February 2011

MPSW:
We were team green with LO#1, and will be again for this baby. My reason is the exact opposite of the PPs ... it's *NOT* a huge surprise. It's either a boy. Or a girl. It's not hard to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for a 50/50 outcome. I didn't bond any less with my daughter in utero b/c I couldn't call her "she". I never respond to the baby as "it."
Unpopular opinion alert: I think the "are you finding out!?!" debate to be totally overblown and weirdly divisive. I don't understand why people literally get angry or annoyed with us when we say we're waiting until the baby arrives. 9 mos isn't that long to wait, and there really isn't that much you HAVE to do before the baby arrives. You need a carseat, diapers and a few onesies. It's amazing what you can do with the internet in the days following the baby's arrival. And this is coming from the *most* type A obsessive planner of them all...
I had a two showers before DD was born, and people actually didn't buy clothes. We got a lot more of our "gear" since people weren't rushing out to buy "Daddy's Princess" or "Lil' Slugger" onesies. We knew we wanted more than one baby, so we registered for all gender neutral gear. The stroller is red. The snugride is black, gray and tan. The nursery furniture is white with brown accents. My mom and I picked out two layettes -- one for a girl, one for a boy -- and just bought the one we needed when the time came.
Once DD was born, it was fun to plug in with the girlie accents like crib sheets and clothes. But we're not into pink anyway, so she ended up wearing some of the stuff I picked out for my boy's layette.
It all works out whether you find out at week 20 or week 40.

Nicely said.

iheartcutepuppies · February 2011

I want MH to announce whether it is a boy or girl. I think it will be very sweet and special to us. So team green we stay.

jillybean222 · February 2011

Curiousity got me. It really had very little to do with planning, I just need to know everything I can...and the sooner, the better!!!

COMomma81 · February 2011

I initially thought I wanted to be surprised, but changed my mind. I am having a much more difficult time this pregnancy, it was an unplanned pregnancy, and I felt that by knowing it would help me bond more with the baby and mentally prepare. I have no regrets...I do feel it's made it more "real" to me and now my baby has an identity. It's made it a whole lot more exciting for me, and DH as well.

Sarafuss · February 2011

We are finding out because I'm tired of referring to LO as "it" and I'm a planner. I want to buy everything we need before baby and not worry about anything after LO arrives. I'm way to impatient to wait!

I do think it would be awesome to have the surprise at birth but I think the surprise at the anatomy scan is enough for me

jdm7 · February 2011

We sort of went through the same thing right before our 20wk u/s (last week). But we held firm and strong that we wouldn't find out.

I don't want to know because I truly feel that there are so few surprises in life except when the doctor holds the baby up and says "It's a ____!!!!!" And that moment of "OH MY GOD!!! We have a son/daughter!!!" It's one thing that keeps us guessing and though it's stressful, it's also fun to discuss names and go in with boy and girl names. I never liked the thought of "I'm having a boy... his name is going to be _____. My shower is going to be blue..."

Another added benefit is a gender neutral nursery. A room that you won't have to re-paint or buy new sheets/bedding for for the next baby.

Also, IMO --- the "But I'm such a planner..." reasoning (for finding otu) is a load of crap. I'm a planner, I like to have things in their place and set up and be prepared, but I can also prepare myself to plan for a boy or a girl on the day I deliver.

flowers2424 · February 2011

jdm7:

We sort of went through the same thing right before our 20wk u/s (last week). But we held firm and strong that we wouldn't find out.

I don't want to know because I truly feel that there are so few surprises in life except when the doctor holds the baby up and says "It's a ____!!!!!" And that moment of "OH MY GOD!!! We have a son/daughter!!!" It's one thing that keeps us guessing and though it's stressful, it's also fun to discuss names and go in with boy and girl names. I never liked the thought of "I'm having a boy... his name is going to be _____. My shower is going to be blue..."

Another added benefit is a gender neutral nursery. A room that you won't have to re-paint or buy new sheets/bedding for for the next baby.

Also, IMO --- the "But I'm such a planner..." reasoning (for finding otu) is a load of crap. I'm a planner, I like to have things in their place and set up and be prepared, but I can also prepare myself to plan for a boy or a girl on the day I deliver.

ITA with you. I am so happy that we are not finding out. For us, not knowing has just made it that much more exciting.

littleprettyx · February 2011

Basically, I'm finding out because I can! Seems weird, but since it's something they can determine during a test I'd have anyway, I want to know. I wouldn't close my eyes or look away just for a surprise in July.

If it was an additional, elective scan for that purpose only, I probably wouldn't find out.

jdm7 · February 2011

njohnson1972:

I also had a friend that didn't find out. It was just amazing being outside the delivery room when her DH came out an announced their son's name. It was just more exciting delivery to me than that of friends that already knew what they were having.

This too. There was nothing more surprising and greater than when my brother called me after they had both of their boys and said "It's a boy!!! Benjamin/Nicholas...." It was far more surprising than "We go into the hospital on x-date, and it's a girl, and her name is _____."

And I'm for people finding out, if that's what they want, but I do think there should be some element of surprise for family/friends... like not knowing the name or when you're scheduled to be induced.

Kara03 · February 2011

I want it to be a surprise. Plus all my girlfriends that found out mostly got clothes and blankets at their baby showers. Everyone was so excited to buy gender specific clothes and baby items most of her big items were not purchased.

DMBfan41 · February 2011

TristaD81:
heather_09_15_07:
MPSW:

We were team green with LO#1, and will be again for this baby. My reason is the exact opposite of the PPs ... it's *NOT* a huge surprise. It's either a boy. Or a girl. It's not hard to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for a 50/50 outcome. I didn't bond any less with my daughter in utero b/c I couldn't call her "she". I never respond to the baby as "it."
Unpopular opinion alert: I think the "are you finding out!?!" debate to be totally overblown and weirdly divisive. I don't understand why people literally get angry or annoyed with us when we say we're waiting until the baby arrives. 9 mos isn't that long to wait, and there really isn't that much you HAVE to do before the baby arrives. You need a carseat, diapers and a few onesies. It's amazing what you can do with the internet in the days following the baby's arrival. And this is coming from the *most* type A obsessive planner of them all...
I had a two showers before DD was born, and people actually didn't buy clothes. We got a lot more of our "gear" since people weren't rushing out to buy "Daddy's Princess" or "Lil' Slugger" onesies. We knew we wanted more than one baby, so we registered for all gender neutral gear. The stroller is red. The snugride is black, gray and tan. The nursery furniture is white with brown accents. My mom and I picked out two layettes -- one for a girl, one for a boy -- and just bought the one we needed when the time came.
Once DD was born, it was fun to plug in with the girlie accents like crib sheets and clothes. But we're not into pink anyway, so she ended up wearing some of the stuff I picked out for my boy's layette.
It all works out whether you find out at week 20 or week 40.

I like you. A lot.

THIS. We're Team Green and honestly I don't understand -- it's a boy or a girl. We're mainly not finding out just for the fun of it....just because we think it sounds like fun. Trust, I understand the wavering feeling! My ant. scan is in 30 min (!!!) and I've been having self doubt about finding out but ultimately decided to wait until birth.

Follow your heart - there's no right or wrong answer here!

Heather&Ben · February 2011

We are Team Green!!

1.We love the surprise at birth element & actually are finding out that a lot of our family members & some friends like this idea & are excited to find out "on the baby's birthday" with us!!

2. We want more than 1 child so all our "baby gear" is / or will be neutral for this reason...so even if we were finding out, this wouldn't change anything (including bedding).

3. I've heard people get you practical items when you don't know the gender vs a ton of gender specific clothes (& often very small ones so they can't wear them for long)...my MIL pointed this one out

4. We are already planning on going out & buying baby clothes (or online shopping) after baby arrives...AND I've had a few friends/family members say once they hear the news, they are headed out to shop!

Have fun whatever you decide!!

Want a personalized experience?

Gender: Why did or didnt you find out!!

Re: Gender: Why did or didnt you find out!!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards