Germany
MelodyBartlett
member
Hi All,
This is my first time to this board (usually I stick to the October 2011 Moms page) but this dilemma is pretty specific.
My wonderful husband is a Lance Corporal in the USMC Reserves. I am so proud of him and everything he does. I have gotten used to the idea that he is going to volunteer to be deployed every year until he actually goes - fine, I get it...great work/life experience and really great money. But, having found out we're knocked up 2 weeks ago, he just told me that someone called him yesterday asking if he wanted to go to Germany for 9 months to work with their military as security. I get it, still good experience and really great money but in all honesty the experience has NOTHING to do with his chosen MOS (motor-t). I will of course support him in whatever he does but this time it feels personal. They wouldn't be leaving until June (I will be about 5mos along) and there is little to no chance that they would send him back for the birth of our first child.
As always, I know that he doesn't want to LEAVE me but he does want to GO.
Advice? Experience?
Re: Germany
I really don't have any advice other than really sit him down and explain everything he will be missing and how hard it will be on you, and there will be other chances to deploy. But in the end, if he really wants to go, he will go, and as his wife you need to respect that- that whole service before self/family thing.
As for experience, my husband seems to be like yours when it comes to deploying. He has been in the AF for 8 years, puts in for everything, and never has gotten the opportunity to deploy. So naturally, a few days before I found out I was pregnant he was chosen for a 6 month deployment (June-Dec of this year)- also nothing to do with his career field. We sat down and had a long civil talk about it. Mostly, since we didnt know we were pregnant we were focusing on trying again after our loss and timing and what-not. I dont know if it is what we went thru with the loss that made him change his mind or what, but he decided since this was a voluntary deployment and not in his workfield, being home to TTC/have a baby was more important this time. I was shocked cause I had mentally prepared myself for him to decide to go, no questions. He was able to convince another coworker to go in his place, and 3 days after that we found out we were pregnant.
BFP#1 10/8/10- Natural m/c 11/24/10, Unknown cause
BFP#2 1/31/11- Blighted Ovum D&C 3/3/11, XX Trisomy 22
BFP#3 3/30/12- Ectopic Pregnancy, discovered @ 8wk
BFP#4 10/2/12
Noexperiance... Sorry..
What I do know however, is if he did go, you could contact the red cross.. They deal with situations like yours where the DH is away when the baby is due/born. I think they could get him home for two weeks.. Which, may not seem like a lot but it's about the same time R&R is for those who are deployed..
It's a tough call, and that's good that you're supporting him no matter what. I would try to contact the red cross now to see what your options would be. Good luck!
Melody, I read your post and noticed that you said you stick to October2011 posts usually...I am also due in October. I feel like I might be facing a similar situation. My husband is active Air Force and will more than likely be deployed when our baby is due (this is our first). I just wanted to share my opinion : While I realize that he may not be there for the first few months of our child's life, I try to look at it like a small sacrifice. I try to think of all of the things he WILL get to see when he comes back from deployment, first steps, first tooth...etc.
Hope this helps