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February 2011 Moms
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Will things ever be the same?

Jessie_eaJessie_ea member
in February 2011 Moms
First I want to say that I'm pretty sure I have the baby blues. The littlest things make me cry and one of them happens to be the idea that mine and DH's relationship will never be the same. I feel like since DS was born we never talk, unless it's about poop or breastfeeding. I know it sounds selfish, but I really just want some semblance of what my life was before. Don't get me wrong DH has been awesome since we got home, he cooks, cleans, supports me while I breastfeed and wake up with the baby, but I just want to know that we will find a way to make time for each other during all of this.
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Re: Will things ever be the same?

  • TiffanyTheMomTiffanyTheMom member
    Once you both start getting more sleep, time for each other will come.
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  • brandooniebrandoonie member
    To answer your question, No things will never be the same. Your lives have completely changed and your focus should be on the baby right now. In my opinion, your relationship will change for the better. Give it some time, and you will be able to spend more time together and do things that aren't completely centered around the baby. But you will never be "just a couple" again....you're a family now!
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  • mariannerulesmariannerules
    It probably won't ever be 'the same', but give it some time.  Things settle down, and you will find yourself again.  I often struggled over conversation when DH and I would have a date or spend time alone childless; then I realized that DD and now also DS are such an important part of who we are now, that it is only normal for babies and parenting to be part of our conversations. 
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  • MiniMadnessMiniMadness
    I agree with PPs, give it some time. It hasn't even been 2 weeks yet, of course the only thing you are talking about is the new addition! ;)
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  • bmp84bmp84 member

    imagemariannerules:
    It probably won't ever be 'the same', but give it some time.  Things settle down, and you will find yourself again.  I often struggled over conversation when DH and I would have a date or spend time alone childless; then I realized that DD and now also DS are such an important part of who we are now, that it is only normal for babies and parenting to be part of our conversations. 

    I couldn't have said it better. The first 2 weeks or so, I had the same worries. We were both just trying to keep our heads above water. I remember having a night where I just totally broke down bawling because Lena was fussing, refusing to BF, and I just wanted to cuddle with my husband in OUR bed (instead of one of us sleeping on the couch with the baby, which was the only way we got sleep the first week!).

    I feel like things are finally starting to fall back into place and we're figuring out how to find ourselves again. Yesterday was HUGE for us. One of our favorite things is to check out the Metroparks in the area and walk the nature trails. DH left work early (the weather was 50* here yesterday!) and we went and walked one of our favorite trails with the stroller and then went out to dinner.

    It gets better, I promise! ::big hugs::

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  • JessiRayeJessiRaye member

    Yes and no! You guys will adjust to your new relationship with your new little one and you will wonder what you ever did or talked about before LO arrived! In the beginning, it really is about just getting by. Little sleep, lots of feedings, diaper changes and general chaos:) But slowly things start to become 'normal'.

    I haven't slept in the same bed with DH for a few weeks. He has been caring for our older 2 boys and I've been trying to focus on Liam. I miss H and I can't wait to watch a movie with him or enjoy a quiet evening out. I know these things will come very soon and I'm trying to remind myself that the days when Liam is so tiny are short. It really does fly by.

    Best wishes:) It does get better and easier each day! Just repeat that!

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  • Angtru18Angtru18

    Whew! I am so glad I am not the only one! I find mysef battling these thoughts in my head also, and I feel so guilty, because I know I am so thankful to have my beautiful son, but the adjustment is so hard. The thought that it will never just be "us" for the rest of our lives is kinda scary and nerve racking. I broke down a few days ago, because I wanted to shower.. but simply couldnt, because hubby was running errands, and my baby boy was being fussy. It was the realization that this life is no longer about me and what I want, but what I need to do for my son, on HIS schedule.

    The last few days have been better. Hubby and I have come up with a wake schedule at night where we are able to get 7-8 hours of sleep a night, and we are making more of an effort to be "us", even if its for a few second here and there.. a random hug, an extra intimate kiss, snuggling for a minute before we pass out in bed, holding hands in the car.. etc.

    We will feel human again! =)

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