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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
LittleGus
member
Uh, I have alot of guilt.
LittleGus
member
Because I don't like being a SAHM nearly as much as I thought I would. I feel so guilty about this too because DD is such a sweet and easy baby! But the thought of juggling work, baby, DH, and house makes me go crazy.
I can't be the only one who feels this way, right? Right? Bueller?
::vent over::
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Uh, I have alot of guilt.
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Gosh it is soooooooo incredibly normal to feel this way. I am on maternity leave for a year and though I love being a SAHM I am looking forward to doing something for our household (bringing in some moola). It's very normal to miss adult interaction. I find myself on the computer way too much but I am just adding on projects for myself.
I live in Canada and am deep in the middle of winter so walks aren't an option but come the spring it's the plan to go out more and enrol LO in swimming lessons. I need some hobbies. I love being at home with him but we need more activites amidst our routine.
Danica 10.22.10 | Milo 12.23.12
Same here.
my read shelf:
I could have wrote this post myself. The grass is always greener I suppose...
I am going back to work (hopefully part time) in August (i'm a teacher) and I am looking forward to it. Even though I love spending lots of time with DD I need some other kind of interaction in my day!
LOL MSC.
Yes, I would feel this way also ... hence, I'm a working mom. It's just in my blood to work outside the home and I think I'm a better mommy for it.
Not everyone has that luxury, but I also think it's funny that some would consider it a luxury ... others consider staying at home a luxury. We're all different. Doesn't mean you love your LO any less.
Having my only interaction really be with my babe (though she is awesome
) I'm having trouble finding Mom's groups in my 'hood and all my friends work. I think a LOT of it is cabin fever, so I can't wait for the weather to warm up so we can get out more for walks. (But I'm a total spaz about flat head and don't want her in her car seat too long, though I could easily walk the afternoon away).
Wah Wah Wah. Sorry I'm just feeling sad for myself.
Being a SAHM gets hard for me when the weather sucks and I'm stuck in the house a lot.
Maybe with Spring coming you'll change your mind?
I have days I miss working, but on nice days like today when I get to go outside with my boys and enjoy the weather (we went to the zoo) I feel very lucky.
This. If you want, you can have my job and deal with taxpayers all day. And I'll stay home with both our behbehs.
Working part time could be your answer like PP's said. It has worked great for me, I still get to be home alot with DD, but I also get to make money and I love what I do for work so its a win-win. I guess I should add- My mom watches DD the two days I work so I am not paying for daycare.
When I was on leave (just 11 short weeks) I definitely got a little stir crazy. Now that I'm back to work full time, I wish I had more time at home.
I think if I was able to work part time, that would be perfect for me. In fact I am looking in to that right now. Part time out of the home and maybe some contact work on side that I can do from home to make up the income I'd be missing.
Look into some MDO programs and get a part time job to give you something different to do.
Yeah I know what you mean. It kills me to leave DS every morning, but deep down I know I wouldn't really enjoy being at home full time.
This.
I'm not bitter, I just wanted to use this pic
lol that is totally me today.
This is what I am thinking as well...
DD - Juliana Joan - Born October 27, 2010 - My Little Princess
BFP 1/14/13 - M/C 1/22/13 @ 5 weeks
BFP 3/20/13 - EDD 11/11/13
This is totally me, too! I thought I would have loved to be a SAHM, but I love going to work and not having to worry about when I can squeeze in lunch or an email. We are very lucky to be in a position where we can have a full-time nanny (while I'm at work, not a live-in nanny). I know DS is getting everything he needs and more from her. She was a 1st grade teacher for a while and plays a major part in his physical and mental development. We are very grateful.
This for me too.
I'm counting down the days until DH is done with grad school and makes enough for me to stop working.
"This ribbon has been reported." - lovesnina
I'm in Canada (on mat leave for a year) and I can't imagine not going back to work next fall. SAH is emotionally and socially hard - but intellectually I feel like I"m losing brain cells by the day. Honestly, it's not the 1950's, you don't have to stay home, why not look into part or full-time work? It may be a juggle, but it can be good for both you and LO - especially as time goes on, eventually they need experiences other than staying home with mom.
I understand. I'm gonna be honest, I just had a mini-meltdown after being puked on for the umpteenth time today. In my defense, DH is out of town and I have a filthy house full of half-packed boxes, so my fuse is running short. I also poured myself the iced coffee I'd been looking forward to since breakfast and then forgot it on the counter for an hour trying to get B down to sleep (and she still isn't, two hours later). Some days are like that.
Then I remind myself that the alternative is not to go back to the way things were pre-baby, where I put in a full day at a job I loved and had the time to clean, exercise, and do any leisure activity I wanted. The alternative is to be responsible for all the same things I am now after putting in a full day's work. It's not about the money--we are doing fine on one income--but it does suck that the work I do here all day pays nothing. I expected to have my household in order as a SAHM. It's not.
I don't know. Sorry to hijack. Point is, yes, I think it is normal and okay to feel that way.
No kidding.
Oh, I know...
We can't afford for me to stay home... but would I want to?
If you ask me on a Sunday night, then No. After a Saturday and Sunday in the house I already feel the itch to get out.
If you ask me on a Monday morning while getting him ready for Daycare/Babysitter, and almost in tears then Yes, I wanna stay home with him. I start to wonder what he's doing all day in DC...is he happy?
I feel your pain.... and if you figure out how to feel better about this let me know. I just hope I am making the right decision for me and my child. :tears:
Good Luck
I can totally relate to all of this! I'm always so torn.
I couldn't agree more! I miss my son while I'm working, but I think I'm a better mom because of it.
DD #1 9/11/10
DD #2 8/28/12
#3 Due 10/8/15
If I were a SAHM I would definitely not put the brunt of the housework on my shoulders. I think I got less done being home all day on maternity leave than I do now going to work.
The time being away (w/o having to think about LO) helps keep me from getting too drained.
I totally understand. I think it will be easier when Maddie outgrows her colic, but right now it is REALLY hard. It was certaintly much easier to go put in my 8 or 9 hours at work, take 30 minutes for lunch, and come home. Sometimes I miss that, but then I look at my little baby and wouldn't want to give up any of the minutes I have with her--even when those minutes mean she is screaming in my ear.
It does help to get out of the house. I tried joining a mom's group, but really they aren't for me. Meet friends for lunch, meet DH for lunch. Anything for adult interaction!
That said, I know I won't be able to do this forever. I have no intention of ever going back to my old profession (retail management), but I do want to go back to school and maybe get my masters degree while I am home.