Does LO Miss You? (Long)

VABride2008 · February 2011

I really only get to spend 3-4 hours a day with LO (so sad, I know). I work full time and she goes to bed at 6:30/7:00. Last night my ILs came over to see her. She had been her typical happy self all afternoon, until the ILs arrived. As soon as I went in the kitchen to cook dinner she started fussing for them. After about a half an hour of her being cranky, I finally just stopped what I was doing because I couldn't take it anymore. Even my husband tried to calm her down, which he normally does pretty good, but nothing was making her happy.

As soon as I picked her up, she didn't make a peep. She was smiling at everyone, babbling and just her usual self again. As soon as I handed her off to my ILs, she was fussing again.

While this makes me feel like a million dollars that she is happy with me, it makes me sad that I don't get to spend more time with her. I feel like she needs me and my MIL even said she thinks that LO misses me and just wants her momma.

I'm thinking about talking to my boss next week (he's on travel this week) to see if maybe I can go to 32 hours a week so I can get an extra hour or two a day with her.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this with their LO?

ETA: Last night was not the first time this has happened.

InLovewSB · February 2011

Is your LO able to sleep in later in the morning? If so, maybe don't put her to bed until 8 or 9.

Baby E usually sleeps by 8-9, and she's usually up by 6-7. She does nap well during the day. She's happy and smiley (unless it's a bad teething day) and I'm happy that she and I can play and snuggle more.

VABride2008 · February 2011

InLovewSB:

Is your LO able to sleep in later in the morning? If so, maybe don't put her to bed until 8 or 9.

Baby E usually sleeps by 8-9, and she's usually up by 6-7. She does nap well during the day. She's happy and smiley (unless it's a bad teething day) and I'm happy that she and I can play and snuggle more.

Unfortunately she is exhausted by 6:30 or 7:00. We've tried pushing back her bedtime but she is just cranky and not a joy to be around. If my husband dropped her off at the sitters, she could sleep in later (8:00) but with her current schedule she is waking up at 5:45 - 6:15 and I take her to the sitter between 7:30 and 8:00.

Any tips on pushing back the bedtime? We've tried 15 minute increments but she actually went the opposite direction of what we were trying for.

Tatstar · February 2011

This describes my LO precisely. He is usually in bed at 7, so I get like 1.5 hours in the evening and 1 hour in the morning to spend with him. DH is a SAHD, so G is with him all day. When I get home he gets these huge grins and lunges for me and he generally won't go back to DH for the rest of the night. That is our time and I know he misses me as much as I miss him during the day.

Truth is though, he's always been a Mama's boy. Even when I was with him on maternity leave, he just wanted to be with me more than with anyone else. So I think that even if I SAH and DH worked, he would still prefer me over DH. Babies go through phases and I know that the "daddy" phase will be here before I know it. It's not possible for me to change my work, so I just make sure the time we get together is all about him. We spend our entire weekend together and I know that he enjoys it.

MiaSpia2 · February 2011

DD fusses when I leave the room. When I leave the house, she crawls and looks for me in every room and then cries. She has always been this way, but it the time for big time separation anxiety to set in. So hard on the parents. Hope your boss lets you work fewer hours. I am sure that little bit of time would make a difference for you.

doremi29 · February 2011

Mason is the same way and I secretly love it! I'm sure it's just a phase.

VABride2008 · February 2011

doremi29:
Mason is the same way and I secretly love it! I'm sure it's just a phase.

I love it too, but it makes me sad that she wants/needs me and I'm not there for her. Sad I feel like if we can financially afford for me to go part time (which we can) then I should do it. Like you said, it's just a phase, and I know she won't go to bed at 6:30 for forever. It's been really hard going back to work full time, especially on days where I literally do nothing but sit here and bump. I feel like I'm wasting so much time that could be spent with her, just for a paycheck. YKWIM? I can't quit my job and be a SAHM (unless we made serious lifestyle changes) but maybe this would be a good compromise.

I talked to my boss abotu going part time when I first came back from maternity leave and he said we could work something out, but nothing really came of it. So hopefully we can really map out a plan this time around.

VABride2008 · February 2011

MiaSpia2:
DD fusses when I leave the room. When I leave the house, she crawls and looks for me in every room and then cries. She has always been this way, but it the time for big time separation anxiety to set in. So hard on the parents. Hope your boss lets you work fewer hours. I am sure that little bit of time would make a difference for you.

OMG, that's so sad. Poor thing. Ugh, I don't know who it is harder on, us or them.

CodyGH · February 2011

VABride2008:
InLovewSB:

Is your LO able to sleep in later in the morning? If so, maybe don't put her to bed until 8 or 9.

Baby E usually sleeps by 8-9, and she's usually up by 6-7. She does nap well during the day. She's happy and smiley (unless it's a bad teething day) and I'm happy that she and I can play and snuggle more.

Unfortunately she is exhausted by 6:30 or 7:00. We've tried pushing back her bedtime but she is just cranky and not a joy to be around. If my husband dropped her off at the sitters, she could sleep in later (8:00) but with her current schedule she is waking up at 5:45 - 6:15 and I take her to the sitter between 7:30 and 8:00.

Any tips on pushing back the bedtime? We've tried 15 minute increments but she actually went the opposite direction of what we were trying for.

We put DS down for a nap around 6 or 6:15. We wake him up around 7:30 and play for a little while, give him a bath, and then he has his last bottle around 8:30 right before bed. I'm not sure if this is something you could do, but it's working for us. If we didn't do this, though, we wouldn't be eating dinner until 8 because of our schedules. I pick DS up from daycare at 5:45. So our time together is the car ride home and the 30 minutes or so before he takes that nap. Then me and DH have dinner and relax for a minute. Then we get DS up and do our thing. I really think that DS could sleep from about 7 to 6, but I'm nervous to try it since he's been sleeping so well lately. Anyway, I hope this helps you get some more time with your LO. I know it sucks, but at least we have the weekends! GL with working less hours! I know I would love that!

doremi29 · February 2011

VABride2008:

doremi29:
Mason is the same way and I secretly love it! I'm sure it's just a phase.

I love it too, but it makes me sad that she wants/needs me and I'm not there for her. I feel like if we can financially afford for me to go part time (which we can) then I should do it. Like you said, it's just a phase, and I know she won't go to bed at 6:30 for forever. It's been really hard going back to work full time, especially on days where I literally do nothing but sit here and bump. I feel like I'm wasting so much time that could be spent with her, just for a paycheck. YKWIM? I can't quit my job and be a SAHM (unless we made serious lifestyle changes) but maybe this would be a good compromise.

I talked to my boss abotu going part time when I first came back from maternity leave and he said we could work something out, but nothing really came of it. So hopefully we can really map out a plan this time around.

But is your LO happy at the sitter? DS goes to a sitter 1/2 the week and my mother for the other days. He loves both places!! He just loves me more Wink

VABride2008 · February 2011

CodyGH:

We put DS down for a nap around 6 or 6:15. We wake him up around 7:30 and play for a little while, give him a bath, and then he has his last bottle around 8:30 right before bed. I'm not sure if this is something you could do, but it's working for us. If we didn't do this, though, we wouldn't be eating dinner until 8 because of our schedules. I pick DS up from daycare at 5:45. So our time together is the car ride home and the 30 minutes or so before he takes that nap. Then me and DH have dinner and relax for a minute. Then we get DS up and do our thing. I really think that DS could sleep from about 7 to 6, but I'm nervous to try it since he's been sleeping so well lately. Anyway, I hope this helps you get some more time with your LO. I know it sucks, but at least we have the weekends! GL with working less hours! I know I would love that!

I guess it could be worth a try. She does take a nap at 6:30, then she's up at 7:00 for a bottle, but then she goes right back down. This whole routine started because of the 45 minute intruder, she would be in bed at 7:00, up 45 minutes later and then we would fight sleep, fight sleep and fight some more sleep until about 9:00. Then all of a sudden she started being tired/cranky at 6:30, so we put her down. She wakes up 30-45 minutes later, eats and is out for the night (or until her middle of the night sporadic feedings). Thanks for the suggestions!

VABride2008 · February 2011

doremi29:

But is your LO happy at the sitter? DS goes to a sitter 1/2 the week and my mother for the other days. He loves both places!! He just loves me more

Yes, she is very happy with the sitter. She always smiles when I drop her off and the sitter raves about how she is such a good/happy baby. Ha, ha....maybe she just doesn't like my in-laws...I think she's on to something. Stick out tongue I've always said that MILs perfume is too strong. Ick!

MWoodside · February 2011

Yes she misses me. I work full-time so I don't get to see her as much as I'd like to

She doesn't fuss for others, but as soon as she hears me pull up she is craning her nexk around to see me. She wants 'up' to me right when I walk in. She likes to BF right away, too, even if she just had a bottle. I think it's for comfort & closeness to me since it's our thing that only we do

LJR 84 · February 2011

VABride2008:

doremi29:
Mason is the same way and I secretly love it! I'm sure it's just a phase.

I love it too, but it makes me sad that she wants/needs me and I'm not there for her. I feel like if we can financially afford for me to go part time (which we can) then I should do it. Like you said, it's just a phase, and I know she won't go to bed at 6:30 for forever. It's been really hard going back to work full time, especially on days where I literally do nothing but sit here and bump. I feel like I'm wasting so much time that could be spent with her, just for a paycheck. YKWIM? I can't quit my job and be a SAHM (unless we made serious lifestyle changes) but maybe this would be a good compromise.

I talked to my boss abotu going part time when I first came back from maternity leave and he said we could work something out, but nothing really came of it. So hopefully we can really map out a plan this time around.

Wow, this describes my situation exactly. It has been so difficult for me to return to work full time. I recently started a new job with a decent increase in salary. While I should be thrilled, I feel like I spend the majority of my days browsing the internet and bumping. Some days it feels like a complete waste of my time. This is time I could be at home spending with DD. On days I have to drop her off I find myself thinking of different ways I could go PT. We could afford for me to either go PT or SAH, but we'd definitely have to make some lifestyle changes. It's so hard.

To makes matters worse, DD has been especially fussy at day care, and then perfectly fine when she's home...which makes me think that she's sad at day care. We've been told this is when separation anxiety can start to kick in, but it really upsets me. I seriously cannot emotionally handle the thought of her being upset at day care all day!

J+L2006 · February 2011

This thread is making me miss my DS

LovinLife10 · February 2011

Yes this is exactly our situation. He is so happy with his dad and the nursery during the day but when I walk in the door he wants me and only me. If he can't see me or I'm not holding him he is fussing or crawling up my leg. i love it but I wish i was able to stay at home so this didn't happen. i miss him all day long too. i catch myself watching videos and looking at his pics on my phone all day at work. Luckily for me I only have to work until May when my DH graduates law school. If you can cut your work hours go for it! What's a few extra dollars compared to precious time with your LO right?

jennygirlmt · February 2011

I SAH and DD is like this sometimes too. Occasionally nothing will work but mommy. I think it's just a mommy/baby thing.

I agree that it would be nice if you could squeeze in an extra bit of time during the week. Is there a reason your DH doesn't drop her off at the sitters? I think shifting bedtime could be a great idea if possible (as long as she was happy and content after adjusting), but I'm a sleep failture, so no advice from me.

mexicolombiana · February 2011

You know, I've been back at work since DD was 6 wks old (she's about to be 7 months old) and I have just started feeling really guilty leaving her all day. Now that she is more aware of her surroundings and interacts more with me and DH I feel terrible only seeing her 3 hrs a day or less

She wakes up anytime from 5-7 a.m. and we leave at 8 am for work, so sometimes I see her an hr or so in the mornings.

Then I get home at 6 p.m. and she usually goes to sleep before 8 p.m. I just get so sad that I don't get to see her much during the week. My aunt is living with us so I know DD is getting a lot of love and attention in the daytime but I wish I was able to see her and play with her ALL day long. I love weekends so much and I dread Monday mornings.

We absolutely cannot afford to have me stay home since I make more than DH and I know she is well taken care of, but I have been struggling with leaving her in the mornings, so I know how all of you feel

rodiesmum · February 2011

VABride2008:
doremi29:
Mason is the same way and I secretly love it! I'm sure it's just a phase.

I love it too, but it makes me sad that she wants/needs me and I'm not there for her. I feel like if we can financially afford for me to go part time (which we can) then I should do it. Like you said, it's just a phase, and I know she won't go to bed at 6:30 for forever. It's been really hard going back to work full time, especially on days where I literally do nothing but sit here and bump. I feel like I'm wasting so much time that could be spent with her, just for a paycheck. YKWIM? I can't quit my job and be a SAHM (unless we made serious lifestyle changes) but maybe this would be a good compromise.

I talked to my boss abotu going part time when I first came back from maternity leave and he said we could work something out, but nothing really came of it. So hopefully we can really map out a plan this time around.

i feel the same way too, but i have to work, and am blessed with a real great job. i so know how you feel. e-hugs to you. hope your boss could give you a great part time deal

rodiesmum · February 2011

mexicolombiana:
You know, I've been back at work since DD was 6 wks old (she's about to be 7 months old) and I have just started feeling really guilty leaving her all day. Now that she is more aware of her surroundings and interacts more with me and DH I feel terrible only seeing her 3 hrs a day or less

She wakes up anytime from 5-7 a.m. and we leave at 8 am for work, so sometimes I see her an hr or so in the mornings.

Then I get home at 6 p.m. and she usually goes to sleep before 8 p.m. I just get so sad that I don't get to see her much during the week. My aunt is living with us so I know DD is getting a lot of love and attention in the daytime but I wish I was able to see her and play with her ALL day long. I love weekends so much and I dread Monday mornings.

We absolutely cannot afford to have me stay home since I make more than DH and I know she is well taken care of, but I have been struggling with leaving her in the mornings, so I know how all of you feel

actually i think there are a lot of us who are struggling, and have the same feelings Lucia's mommy, you know what ive seen your posts in tri boards and was just amazed, that we are again in the same boat.

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