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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Allie30
member
Horrible Night, bruised baby
Allie30
member
I have a big project due for work, so my MIL very kindly offered to come over and watch the baby for a few hours this evening. I was upstairs working when I heard her scream and then this huge crash. I sprinted down the stairs and my baby started crying. My MIL had slipped and fallen and dropped her!
She calmed down after a few minutes in my arms, but she has this big bruise forming on her forehead. I call my doctor, and my husband (who was working late). Doc says to check her pupils/shine flashlight, keep her awake for a few hours, then wake her up every hour all night long.
MIL is saying we should take her to the hospital, but doc doesn' think it's necessary and thinks we'll have to wait hours to see someone and as long as she's normal, not overly sleepy/shaking/vomiting, that we should wait and bring her in to the office tomorrow. Meanwhile, giant purple bruise forming on her little forehead. I get out one of my old breast soothing pads from the freezer (so glad i didn't tos them) and ice down her head. She's calm, smiley, I read her a book, we played with her rattles, I fed her. Keeping her awake from 8:30 to 11 was the really tricky part. I want to cry the whole time. I don't know how I kept it together and didn't scream at my MIL. She left as soon as my husband got home.
I know it was a total accident -- it could have happened to anyone (the baby spit up and she slipped on it), but I'm so angry. And now I have to get up -- and get HER up, every hour all night. I hope she's okay. I think she'll be okay. THe ice helped a lot -- it's not as purple right now, and it just looks like some abrasions. It doesn't even seem to be bothering her -- though that scares me a bit, that it doesn't. Because it LOOKS horrible.
What a disaster. I just had to vent. I know my MIL is feeling so guilty right now.
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Re: Horrible Night, bruised baby
Wow! That's awful. If it were me I'd prolly give sass and ask MIL if she was going to spend the night to wake her up every hour, but that's just me.
I don't think that you're incorrect at feeling angry, even if it could have happened to anyone. I know I'd be mad.
Hope everything works out ok!
Oh, there was DEFINITELY some sass. I gave her the baby to hold (sitting down on her lap) while I talked to the doc and went to dig up a flashlight and she stood up and I was like "SIT DOWN!"
And then my husband when he got home made some comment about her staying to wake the baby up all night long, but I ushered her right out the door -- I was afraid if she stayed any longer I was going to scream at her. Rationally, I'm not mad. But I'm also not being rational right now. She dropped my baby.
Oh my word I would be a basket case also! You poor thing and poor baby
You are doing the right thing. It's hard to do what feels like "nothing", but checking her every hour is doing what needs to be done. Waking up each hour will suck, but it will be the right thing. Good work mommy!
I respect how I feel, but I don't think you should be frustrated with your MIL.
No one EVER intends on falling and as you said, accidents DO happen. Yes, it sucks that it happened and that you have to get up every hour tonight to check on DS, but I'm sure that your MIL feels HORRIBLE about what happened, and tried with all her might to NOT fall.
She was doing you a favor by watching her, and who's to say that if was you carrying LO, that you wouldn't have fallen on the spit up?
I did notice that you didn't mention how your MIL was doing? Did you ask her if she was ok; depending on how she landed, even a small fall like that can hurt someone; I'd check with her to make sure she's ok as well.
Like I said, I understand that you're worried about your LO and frustrated that you're going to have a rough night, but accidents are just that; they can happen to anyone. Your MIL wasn't being irresponsible, it just happened.
Hmmmm...I'm thinking I'm in the minority here...of course, you never know how you'll act until you're IN a situation...but I guess I'm playing devil's advocate here and trying to see things from the MIL's side...
Am I way off base???
That's fucked up, it's not like she did it on purpose...."Oh, spit up! Let me ice-skate across the room on it! Wheeee!!!"
Being angry is very understandable, I doubt anyone would NOT feel angry, but to act like that is inexcusable.
To OP: I hope LO's lil' noggin feels better
That's terrifying!
I got your back!
Oh, wow, I'm so sorry! But I'm glad it looks like she'll be okay.
I'm scared when my MIL holds DS - I love her to death, but she's very large, has bad knees, and a couple years ago fell and broke both her arms, so they are probably weak now. Even when I'm around and she's holding him, I'm constantly watching, worried that even a tiny misstep will end in catastrophe. I doesn't help that I fell once while I was carrying DS in his car seat so I know how easy it is. He bawled so bad just from the fright, and I bawled almost as bad. All I did was step wrong on the edge of the driveway and it made my leg buckle.
Anyway, hope you can get a little sleep tonight. Can your DH take a couple shifts to maximize sleep? You should call your MIL with every waking just to let her know your DD seems fine and you knew she'd be worried.
Glad I'm not alone! I was thinking that I was a horrible person for siding with the MIL...of course, it's terrible it happened, and we never want our babies to get hurt...but..it was an accident...
No, I completely agree with your first post. It was obviously a freak accident and it could've happened to anyone. I'm sure her MIL is feeling like crap and wondering if she'll ever be able to watch her granddaughter anytime soon.
I always worry about falling while holding LO-- on the stairs, in the snow, etc. And I can't help but think that even my closest family members might judge me even if it was an accident. I would hate to be in that position!
OP-- Just think it could've been much worse... I hope your LO feels better soon!
I don't think she meant that she'd say this in a rude way to MIL. Sass to me implies light joking (yeah, maybe at her expense) to help lighten the mood, which is what I'd do.
I agree that she didn't mean for it to happen, too. Knowing my temper and my ill feelings toward my MIL, though, I would have went off on her in a fit of anger and fear (if it were me) I should have put that in my post. Sorry!
Of course, I would never ask MIL to help though since we do not get along in the first place. When we do see her and she holds V, it isn't for long. It always looks like she is choking her and V screams the whole time, while MIL b!tches "it's bc she doesn't know me!"
Anyway, again, I hope that LO is okay and that you two have a good night, despite the evening's earlier catastrophe.
That's exactly what I meant. No way would I yell at my MIL (who's a freaking saint anyways). I know that I would feel bad for her...and I wouldn't do anything to make the situation worse. Sometimes you just feel angry hurt or mad, even when the person isn't at fault.
I did say that being mad was understandable, I would be too.
But even light joking about it would be like rubbing salt in a wound. If I dropped someone's baby on accident and they joked about me having to stay up and check on the baby, it would make me even more embarrassed and guilty then I already was because I would know that she was loosing sleep over it and now has to go the pedi's, something could be even more wrong, ect.
But...that's just me. I don't see the point in any sass over an accident.
Point taken. I think it's more of an impulsive thing on my part. When I get emotional my filter comes off, and I probably would have said something to that degree. Not saying it's right...it's just how I am. I would probably regret it later too.
I know exactly how you're feeling! My husband slipped on our stairs with our son when he was 6 weeks going down to do a 5am feeding. I heard the crash, jumped out of bed, and ran faster than I think I've ever ran! Of course the lights were out and I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't even see! I was so scared and mad at the same time and I tried my hardest not to show DH, but I was mad and rightfully so since he didn't turn the lights on to go down, but he was just as scared, crying, thinking he hurt our DS. DS was just fine though and I still give DH a hard time about it - nicely of course. I also take everything for middle of the night/early morning feedings upstairs before we go to bed now so it won't happen again! I had a very hard time trusting him again, but eventually I just had to. I'm so glad you're baby is okay and I hope you're doing good too! Tell MIL you're not mad at her - just frightened so she's not feeling like a bad Grandma. I'm sure she's having a rough night too.
Guys, I did not yell at my MIL. We're very close. I know she felt awful -- more awful than me. And she kept saying she was going to stay so my husband "could yell at her." But he didn't either. And we were both like -- we're not mad, don't feel bad, she's fine, etc. She's Catholic, too -- the guilt is at a cellular level.
And I *did* ask her if she was okay -- as soon as the baby stopped crying. Both of our first priorities were the baby.And yes, I made some jokes -- call it a coping mechanism, call it trying to lighten the mood -- we both survived. It could have been any of us. It could have been my mom. No one thinks it's her fault.
And she texted me first thing this morning to see how the baby is doing, which is fine, btw. I think she was more annoyed at being woken up all night long. She doesn't even look like she's going to have a bad bruise -- it's more like this big scrape across her forehead right now.
My heart goes out to both you and your mother 'n law. I can understand that you have frustration over the situation, but I'd be willing to bet your MIL feels HORRIBLE about it. Nobody would do that to their grand baby on purpose. She's going to beat herself up over this more than you can imagine. Consider yourself lucky that she was there to help you out in the first place, some of us don't have that offered to us.
Sorry, I wasn't trying to be snarky, just that things happen, and it doesn't change it to be sassy/angry with her.
As for the baby, I REALLY hope she's alright and feeling better soon!
I'm so glad LO is okay. When DD was TWO weeks old, my 4 year old threw a car and it hit her in the eye...causing her to bleed and get a bruise in her eyebrow area. I was so upset and mad at the situation (although it was a complete accident - I was still angry...and upset) so I completely understand. I hope she continues to get better and does not have too bad of a boo boo.
Glad to hear everyone is OK! I'm sure it was terrifying for both you and your MIL!
I'll be honest, my first reaction probably would have been to freak out on my MIL. Or DH, or my mom, or whoever was holding my baby and dropped her. That would be my first impulse. And I highly doubt I'm alone. However, once I calmed down I know and was thinking rationally again, I know I'd apologize to whoever got my wrath.
Glad to hear everyone is doing ok this morning. I didn't mean to sound like you were insensitive, if that is how my OP came out. The bottom line is it's good that both LO and your MIL are doing ok!
Maybe you should read the entire thread before you post. The OP already answered that question.
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