Somewhat of a re-intro

gracie5107 · February 2011

Hi All,

I was on this board for awhile when I miscarried at the end of August. I then got pregnant again in November, but I just learned that this one also has ended in a loss. I should be 13 1/2 weeks today, but I only measured 11 weeks with no heartbeat.

As you all know, I am devestated; but also looking to move forward. We opted for a D&E because my doctor noticed some abnormalities and wanted to do testing. However, the doctor's office just called and can't get me in until next Thursday (the 17th) for the D&E. Does this seem too long to any of you? And if so, what would you do?

I'm mentally drained and can't imagine waiting a week in anticipation of this surgery. I'm also terrified that I will start to MC on my own prior to surgery. However, I don't know what my options are.

Thank you all for your input. I won't truly be joining you guys for awhile, as I'm nowhere near a TTC mindset, but I also hope it won't be long before I can be back.

ilovenyc1023 · February 2011

In late November when they told me there wasn't a heartbeat, I had to wait til Jan. 14th...I found it a blessing I did it naturally before that because I did not want to wait over a month and a half! I would've waited, which would have been the longest month and a half of my life...I don't really know what other option you have though. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help.

lavril · February 2011

I am so so sorry for your loss. I think that does seems like a long time to wait. I had mine scheduled for 2 days out, and I started m/c on my own naturally the day in between. I guess no time is good

tmhdmh · February 2011

oh hun i'm so sorry for your loss. I remember your picture. I'm so sorry you are going through this. take all the time you need. we'll be here when you're ready.

next thursday is just ridiculus! especially since he saw an abnormality. I would call again and talk to the dr and voice your concerns. if they don't take you in, I'd ask if it would be ok to call another dr or the hospital.

keep us updated.

((hugs))

tmhdmh · February 2011

my first m/c they couldn't get me in until later that afternoon, but the second m/c I was in the operating room 2hrs later.

hopefulelise · February 2011

I'm so sorry about your loss. Yes, I think that is a long time to wait. They got me in the next day when I had mine. Especially if the Dr. wants to do some testing, you would think he would get you in sooner.

There is a chance nothing will happen until then, it's always hard to say when nature will take it's course. It's always on it's own time schedule. If you really want to get in earlier, I would call and insist on what other options you have.

GL!

asltrouble94 · February 2011

I'm so sorry for you loss. My D & E was scheduled 2 days after my u/s that showed no HB. A week might be for you to process it all. I know in those 2 days, I didn't have time to process it. They rolled my into the OR crying and I was still crying when I woke up. I had no choice though, my Doc was being transferred to another city the next day.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. T & P's are with you.

brenn · February 2011

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. A week does seem like a really long time to wait. I went in 2 days after my u/s confirmed no heartbeat. Sending you hugs and good luck for the week ahead.

gracie5107 · February 2011

Thank you all for your input. When I talked with the lady who was scheduling I asked if that was the earliest they could do or if I could have another doctor in the practice do it (there are 5 other doctors) and she said she would check, but it didn't seem likely. I honestly feel like no one cares, because I can't imagine that with 6 doctors in the practice no one could squeeze in a 30 minute procedure. I'm going to call the office again in the morning and express my concerns, especially since they want to do testing. And I'm sure part of this is just my emotions going crazy, but I'm really frustrated and thinking about changing practices after this.

Gummybear · February 2011

I am so sorry for you loss. How devastating and unfair I had my D&E the day after there was no hb. They tried to make me wait 4 days but my husband really put his foot down and they got another Dr. to do it the next day.

I def. think that is too long to wait. When the dr. said abnormalities, did he mean with you or baby? I am going to get graphic here, but I think it's important. If he meant baby, the longer you wait after demise, the less likey it will be that they can grow out the fetal tissue cells and test the chromosomes. It makes no sense that he is making you wait.

Once again, I am so sorry.

LDW80 · February 2011

Your story sounds just like mine. I was 13w3d when I found out there was no heartbeat and the baby was measuring at 11w1d. I would have NEVER wanted to wait a week to do the perceedure. Luckily my dr. got me in the next day. You may pass it in the next week but if your thoughts are anything like mine were "If I didn't pass it in the two weeks that the hb stopped then when will I pass it". My dr. also told me the longer the "dead tissue" is in me the more likely for me to get an infection. I would defientely try your hardest to get in sooner. You are already going through the emotional pain of losing a baby you don't need to go through the physical pain as well.

So sorry for your loss and when you are ready to TTC we will be here for you. Take Care!

gracie5107 · February 2011

Gummybear and LDW80 thank you guys for those pieces of information. Gummy, the doctor said she saw some abnormalities with the baby and did want to do chromosome testing, so I will definitely mention the affects of the wait on that and mention my increased risk of infection as leverage to get something done earlier.

Everyone else, thank you so much for helping me realize it's not crazy for me to be upset about a week wait.

tew213 · February 2011

I am so sorry for your loss - and that you have to wait so long! I pray you can get in early than that. Welcome to the board. I came over before I was ready/able to TTC again and I found the information, support, etc. so helpful. I hope you can find the same here. T&Ps are with you!

busterbeagle · February 2011

I also had a missed miscarriage--discovered at 12 weeks but measured somewhere between 5 and 8 weeks. There was no heartbeat at my appointment on a Thursday and my D&C wasn't until the following Friday, 8 days later. They didn't comfirm my miscarriage until that Monday because my doctor wanted to check my HCG levels twice first, and that was the soonest my doctor could get me in. I did start bleeding late that Monday night, so I bled for 3+ days before my D&C, but it never got much worse than a normal period. I was terrified about what I might see or feel, so can totally understand your anxiety over starting to miscarry naturally. In my experience, it never got to be as bad as I imagined it would be. Yes, I think a week is a pretty long time to have to wait, and you have every right to be upset and try to get in sooner, but if that's what you end up having to do, try not to stress too much over it.

I hope that helps a little. I'm so sorry about your loss and this extra worry.

Tapatio · February 2011

I remember you. I've never had a D&C so I'm of no help to you. I just wanted to say that I'm very sorry for your loss. It's so incredibly sad and unfair for a TTCAL grad to end up back here. My heart breaks for you. I hope you're able to convince your doctor to perform the D&C in a timely manner so you can try and begin the healing process. We'll be here when you're ready ((huge hugs)).

LilMaggs · February 2011

*huge hugs* I'm so sorry for your loss. I

CheesyPeas · February 2011

I'm so sorry you're back.

((((hugs))))

GPickles · February 2011

I remember you from before and I'm so sorry you ended up here again. ((big hugs)) I hope they can get you in a little sooner.

starrynyt · February 2011

I am so very sorry for your losses and that you're having to go through this again. If it were me personally, next Thursday would be way too long. I would call and try to insist on something sooner and be honest about your concerns. Especially since it seems pretty important to be able to do testing. If I've learned anything through this journey it's that you have to be your own advocate within the medical community, even when you have excellent care. It seems like it would be agony to wait until next Thursday and that's just not fair. Great big (((hugs))) to you.

Oatoa · February 2011

Sorry I'm a little late in the game, but I wanted to welcome you back to the board and to say I'm so sorry for your losses. When we realized I had had a missed m/c they were unable to schedule me for over a week later. We found out on Oct 19 and I didn't go in for my D&E until the 29th. I didn't bleed at all between finding out and surgery. I think it really gave me time to come to terms with what had happened. For me timing was key though because DH was traveling when we found out and I wanted him here when I went to the hospital.

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