Help..need advice
My 7 year old ADHD step son has been caught 3 times now playing with matches/lighter. Today is the third time, I found burned match heads in our bathroom on the floor and after going through his room..more burned match heads inside his desk drawer. This first time he was caught, he got up with his little sister in the middle of the night and grabbed a lighter..because she was 'scared of the dark'. The second time was at his bio mom's house..apparantly he tried to burn a car track and stuffed animal.
Now we have a fireplace in our house, that we keep the children from, and we obviously need a lighter or matches to start a fire. But we always keep them out of reach..he is literally climbing up a shelving unit to get to them at our house. At his bio moms house, I have no idea where she keeps anything..she is a smoker though.
We have taken away his R.C cars, for the first time he was caught. The second time at his bio moms house, we took away his video games. Oh I should mention all three times have been within the last 2 weeks. He still has not earned back these privelages, and will not for at least another week now. We have explained to him how dangerous this is, but don't know what to do at this point. Has anyone gone through this? If so, what did you do? I was thinking online videos of burn victims...do you think that is too far or not far enough? ANY advice would be greatly appreciated!!!
Re: Help..need advice
I would do three things. 1. Doctor take him to his doc explain what is going on and have him/her talk to your SS and get a recommendation for a child psychologist. 2. mkae appointment and take him to therapy. 3. Take him to the firestation and have the firechief talk to him about the dangers of playing w/ fire and matches.
First you need to lock away anything that can start a fire. Even consider removing the knobs to the stove and oven.
Then get him to a counselor. The school or his pediatrican can help too.
Your H should probably talk to the mom so that she's onboard too.
I feel bad for the OP that the FIRST thing you jump to is something is wrong with her child and he needs to be seen by a psychologist. Ummm...yea. She has stated he has ADHD and under my total assumption he's already seeing a psychiatrist. Many kids can have a short and brief infatuation with fire. I can't imagine if every single person took their kids to a pediatrician and then on to a psychologist or even a psychiatrist for it. She said it's been going on for 2 weeks. Gah.
OP, the fire station is a really good idea and starting point. When you talk with his psychologist or psychiatrist (whichever he sees) ask them if they think videos of people with mild burns is too graphic, etc. No one knows your kiddo better than you as far as that goes. Some kids will see it and not have a reaction while some will freak out. KWIM?
Anyhoo, I'd definitely lock up anything that can create fire as another poster has mentioned. It has to be locked away and not put up high.
Best of luck and update us when you can, please.