Multiples

I don't get soapboxy about much

But I think homebirthing twins is simply selfish and irresponsible.  I'm sure I'll offend someone with that statement, but I feel strongly about this.  People in this thread aren't making it better

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/49052219/ShowThread.aspx#49052219.

 

 

 

 

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Re: I don't get soapboxy about much

  • I completely agree.
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • robin, i always agree with you. 
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  • I agree.

    Anyone who wants to have a homebirth with triplets should probably undergo some psychiatric eval prior to having those babies.

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  • I completely 100% agree with you.
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  • i work in one of the top OB hospitals in the nation so i have seen numerous complications on all births - including my own with my son (i had vasa previa and didnt know it until my water broke). If i was home i would have died and so wouldnt have my son! I think its completely selfish and extremely dangerous!!
  • imageblondek8:

    I agree.

    Anyone who wants to have a homebirth with triplets should probably undergo some psychiatric eval prior to having those babies.

    Yup. I'm flabbergasted that there are videos promoting this. That is SO irresponsible.
  • I completely agree.  Especially after some of the birth stories on here where people had a double whammy.......

    One of my really close friends had a home birth.  My mom had 4 kids and after some of the complications she had during different deliveries she woudln't have survived if she had a home birth.  When she found out my friend was having one she immediately went on a speech about everything that happened to her.  I had to assure her that it wasn't something I was interested in!!!

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  • I completely agree as well and think that it's selfish. You can't just think about what kind of birth experience you want with twins, you also need to consider their health and what is best for THEM. I agree with the PP who said to find a low intervention dr at a hospital if you want to go that route,

    I think that anyone with triplets that would even attempt a home birth is just frankly an idiot.

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  • I totally agree.  I'm all about crunchy and low intervention (even though I loved my scheduled c-section and would do it again in a heartbeat) but multipes are a game changer.

    image
  • I agree. There's a lady I know who was having cramping, bleeding, etc all weekend and because the doc was rude on the phone waited until Monday to go in and it was too late. Where I'm going with this, is that no matter our emotions/feelings/etc, we always have to consider the baby(ies) health FIRST and then worry about the rest of our "plans."

     My mom the other day was asking why in the world I would have a scheduled C-Section with triplets... I explained all the risks of trying to do a normal birth (obviously in a hospital), and even that to me makes it worth it over trying to have a normal birth experience and then having something go seriously wrong.

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  • imagerobinsokj:
    But I think homebirthing twins is simply selfish and irresponsible
    1000% agree.  It's my same feeling about people who bf their kindergarder.  You aren't doing this for them, you're doing this for YOU.
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  • i dont understand home birthing in general.  is it just to make a statement? to be "cool?"  i understand doing most of your labor at home (i didnt go to the hospital until i was 7cm) but eeew, i would not have wanted all that blood and puss and nastiness in my own bathtub to later clean up.
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  • Looks like I'm going to be the lone dissenter here. My aunt is a certified midwife and specializes in home & birth center births.  One of her greatest strengths is monitoring mothers and their babies very closely (midwifery doesn't mean no medicine or technology- IF you've got a good one).  If there is any indication at all that there are complications with the pregnancy or the birth, she immediately refers on to the hospital.  She never compromises the mother or baby's health in a misguided interest of maintaining a magical experience. And she has successfully delivered twins on numerous occasions.

    My aunt was a great coach to me throughout my pregnancy. I ended up on bed rest at 26 weeks and was hospitalized at 28. Her advice was completely in sync with my OB's from Day 1.  I think there is a lot of misinformation out there about midwifery.

    "The Business of Being Born" is an amazing film which accurately depicts home births & also shows a home birth going wrong.  The midwife immediately jumps into a cab with the mother and goes to the hospital where she has a c-section.

    And while I'm glad my babies are healthy today, I still experience grief when I think of my birth experience with them.

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  • I agree. There are way too many things that could go wrong, it is not worth it. 
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  • imageebrooke:

    Looks like I'm going to be the lone dissenter here. My aunt is a certified midwife and specializes in home & birth center births.  One of her greatest strengths is monitoring mothers and their babies very closely (midwifery doesn't mean no medicine or technology- IF you've got a good one).  If there is any indication at all that there are complications with the pregnancy or the birth, she immediately refers on to the hospital.  She never compromises the mother or baby's health in a misguided interest of maintaining a magical experience. And she has successfully delivered twins on numerous occasions.

    My aunt was a great coach to me throughout my pregnancy. I ended up on bed rest at 26 weeks and was hospitalized at 28. Her advice was completely in sync with my OB's from Day 1.  I think there is a lot of misinformation out there about midwifery.

    "The Business of Being Born" is an amazing film which accurately depicts home births & also shows a home birth going wrong.  The midwife immediately jumps into a cab with the mother and goes to the hospital where she has a c-section.

    And while I'm glad my babies are healthy today, I still experience grief when I think of my birth experience with them.

    Yes, but you just proved my point.  You experienced grief b/c of YOUR experience.  It's all about what the mother wants when they choose a homebirth.  There are simply too many risks with a multiples pregnancy.

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  • imagerobinsokj:
    imageebrooke:

    Looks like I'm going to be the lone dissenter here. My aunt is a certified midwife and specializes in home & birth center births.  One of her greatest strengths is monitoring mothers and their babies very closely (midwifery doesn't mean no medicine or technology- IF you've got a good one).  If there is any indication at all that there are complications with the pregnancy or the birth, she immediately refers on to the hospital.  She never compromises the mother or baby's health in a misguided interest of maintaining a magical experience. And she has successfully delivered twins on numerous occasions.

    My aunt was a great coach to me throughout my pregnancy. I ended up on bed rest at 26 weeks and was hospitalized at 28. Her advice was completely in sync with my OB's from Day 1.  I think there is a lot of misinformation out there about midwifery.

    "The Business of Being Born" is an amazing film which accurately depicts home births & also shows a home birth going wrong.  The midwife immediately jumps into a cab with the mother and goes to the hospital where she has a c-section.

    And while I'm glad my babies are healthy today, I still experience grief when I think of my birth experience with them.

    Yes, but you just proved my point.  You experienced grief b/c of YOUR experience.  It's all about what the mother wants when they choose a homebirth.  There are simply too many risks with a multiples pregnancy.

    Looks like we're Soapbox to Soapbox on this one Smile

    I disagree. Perhaps I worded things in a way that was misleading. It's not about me. But it's not NOT about me.

    I think a birthing experience is about the family unit- mother, father, baby(ies).  And I think it can be and should be an amazing experience for everyone.  Because of our circumstances, the babies & I didn't see one another for over 24 hours.  DH & I didn't hold them until almost 2 days after they were born. I was vomiting on the table and so out of it with the drugs that I hardly registered that I was a new mom. I believe I retain the right to feel sad about that. I don't think valuing a quality birth experience and makes one a bad mother or parent. And I don't think it makes me selfish.

    I was in the hospital for 5 weeks and was closely monitored. Our babies were in the NICU for 3 weeks.  Our doctors & nurses played a pivotal role in the health & well-being of everyone and I feel blessed that we're all healthy today. We couldn't have done it without them.  It is not my call to make gross generalizations about all pregnancies or multiple pregnancies. I'm not a medical professional so it's not appropriate for me to make those calls. Every pregnancy is different. Mine was high-risk due to PTL, which was certainly exacerbated by carrying multiples.

    I think women should be responsible for their bodies AND for their children and should act in the best interest of their babies. And I'm not sure anecdotal evidence or societal norms preclude doing your homework on what's in everyone's best interest. Perhaps we should leave the medical decisions to those who are qualified to make them. Or maybe we should just agree to disagree.

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  • I recently saw a show on TLC where a mother had an unassisted home birth of twins.  She read a book about unassisted home births and then purposefully had her babies in her bathtub without any help.  She chose not to have prenatal care either and didn't know it was twins.  At the end of the episode she said that she was proud of herself for doing it.  My thought was HOW SELFISH.  (It also kind of p*ssed me off that TLC would give her that kind of attention.)
    *Siggy warning - loss mentioned*
    Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
    High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
  • There are so many things that you cannot plan for in a multiple pregnancy that it just seems way too risky to do a home birth. I think for the sake of your unborn child, you should look for a hospital with a high level NICU. I made it to 36 weeks with triplets and still had one spend 2 1/2 weeks in the NICU due to IUGR (which we were not aware of prior to delivery). People seem to think if you make it to term then you're in the clear, and that's not always the case, especially with multiples.
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  • A lot of people grieve their birth experience. I did b/c I was induced and to this day I don't think I needed to be. My babies were 5 weeks early and had issues b/c of that. It's perfectly legitimate to feel sadness b/c you didn't have the birth experience you imagined you'd have. Most of us carrying multiples didn't have the pregnancy we imagined we'd have either. But that doesn't mean the appropriate reaction to our grief is to put ourselves in an extremely risky situation like a home birth. While you might not be completely out of it on drugs at home, you also might be putting your own children's lives at risk. I'm sorry but the HIGH risk multiples births have trumps our desire for a happy, family-fun experience. Frankly, if a midwife or OB suggested I have a twin homebirth I'd run for the tall grass b/c it would tell me that they care more about the "experience" of birth than the health and safety of myself and my kids.

    ETA: I'm not knocking midwifery. Personally I think MoMs should have a MFM too, but I fully support people using midwives. It's the homebirth part that I think is irresponsible. 

  • imageebrooke:

    Looks like I'm going to be the lone dissenter here. My aunt is a certified midwife and specializes in home & birth center births.  One of her greatest strengths is monitoring mothers and their babies very closely (midwifery doesn't mean no medicine or technology- IF you've got a good one).  If there is any indication at all that there are complications with the pregnancy or the birth, she immediately refers on to the hospital.  She never compromises the mother or baby's health in a misguided interest of maintaining a magical experience. And she has successfully delivered twins on numerous occasions.

    My aunt was a great coach to me throughout my pregnancy. I ended up on bed rest at 26 weeks and was hospitalized at 28. Her advice was completely in sync with my OB's from Day 1.  I think there is a lot of misinformation out there about midwifery.

    "The Business of Being Born" is an amazing film which accurately depicts home births & also shows a home birth going wrong.  The midwife immediately jumps into a cab with the mother and goes to the hospital where she has a c-section.

    And while I'm glad my babies are healthy today, I still experience grief when I think of my birth experience with them.

     Thank you!

    Ladies who home birth are not just crunchy gals who want a certain type of "birth experience." For the most part it is ladies who research all the options of pregnancy and birth and then decide(because of their research) that home birth is the safest option for their baby/babies and themselves. I would recommend anyone who wants to know more about to read "The Thinking Woman's Guide To A Better Birth" before you judge home births. It is well written and has a huge bibliography for even more in-depth study.

    I think the main fact that got me into researching midwives and home births was the fact that the US c-section rate is 32.9% and the W.H.O. recommends a c-section rate no more than 15%(https://whqlibdoc.who.int/publications/2009/9789241547734_eng.pdf). Just food for thought...

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  • No matter how you try to word it, homebirths are about what YOU want. 

    There is simply too much risk with a multiples birth.  

    The babies aren't going to remember their birth, they just want the best end result possible, and if an emergency c-section is necessary a homebirth isn't going to give them that.

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  • imageebrooke:

    Looks like I'm going to be the lone dissenter here. My aunt is a certified midwife and specializes in home & birth center births.  One of her greatest strengths is monitoring mothers and their babies very closely (midwifery doesn't mean no medicine or technology- IF you've got a good one).  If there is any indication at all that there are complications with the pregnancy or the birth, she immediately refers on to the hospital.  She never compromises the mother or baby's health in a misguided interest of maintaining a magical experience. And she has successfully delivered twins on numerous occasions.

    My aunt was a great coach to me throughout my pregnancy. I ended up on bed rest at 26 weeks and was hospitalized at 28. Her advice was completely in sync with my OB's from Day 1.  I think there is a lot of misinformation out there about midwifery.

    "The Business of Being Born" is an amazing film which accurately depicts home births & also shows a home birth going wrong.  The midwife immediately jumps into a cab with the mother and goes to the hospital where she has a c-section.

    And while I'm glad my babies are healthy today, I still experience grief when I think of my birth experience with them.

    Sorry.  My best friend is a certified nurse midwife at the Mayo Clinic.  She said she would NEVER agree to doing a home birth with multiples. 

    That's coming from someone who's a nurse, got her Masters in midwifery, and works and went to school at the best hospital in the country. 

     

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  • To clarify- Homebirthing is NMS. It's not something I would consider.  My initial decision to go the birth-center route changed once I learned we were having multiples. I wasn't comfortable with that option any longer. My choice was to have a natural birth in the hospital. It was the best fit for us.  I chose to have a c-section when it was apparent that was needed. And I don't regret for a second any of those choices.

    I just think natural, homebirths conducted by a midwife are misunderstood. I leave it to the medical experts & the families to decide what's best for them and their babies.  I don't purport to be an expert so I try to withhold judgment. And for the record, I think there will always be mixed motivation for moms. You can't take your own desires out of the picture completely.

    And reading a book just to pop a baby out by yourself does not qualify as consulting an expert. But it does qualify you as BSC.  Just sayin...

    (I will need to talk to my Midwife Aunt about some of this as I may be talking out my rear end here a little bit about what she's done. I know she's worked with MoMs but I don't know where the births actually took place.)

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  • imageebrooke:

    To clarify- Homebirthing is NMS. It's not something I would consider.  My initial decision to go the birth-center route changed once I learned we were having multiples. I wasn't comfortable with that option any longer. My choice was to have a natural birth in the hospital. It was the best fit for us.  I chose to have a c-section when it was apparent that was needed. And I don't regret for a second any of those choices.

    I just think natural, homebirths conducted by a midwife are misunderstood. I leave it to the medical experts & the families to decide what's best for them and their babies.  I don't purport to be an expert so I try to withhold judgment. And for the record, I think there will always be mixed motivation for moms. You can't take your own desires out of the picture completely.

    And reading a book just to pop a baby out by yourself does not qualify as consulting an expert. But it does qualify you as BSC.  Just sayin...

    (I will need to talk to my Midwife Aunt about some of this as I may be talking out my rear end here a little bit about what she's done. I know she's worked with MoMs but I don't know where the births actually took place.)

    While a home birth (for a singleton, multiples aren't even part of that IMO) is not my style, I agree with the bolded statement above.

    I have incredible respect for my BF and her medical background and training.  It's amazing how much birth experience she has. 

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  • ebrooke, I am pro natural/low-intervention births in general, and using midwives ... but like a pp said, having multiples is a game-changer. And most people who *do* have the medical background to make an informed decision or recommendations, like you referred to, (from experienced MFMs and OBs to many experienced midwives) would never recommend a home birth for twins or any other high-risk pregnancy.
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
  • imageMrsLnt:

    I totally agree.  I'm all about crunchy and low intervention (even though I loved my scheduled c-section and would do it again in a heartbeat) but multipes are a game changer.

    This. I wouldn't have had my twins at home and I had 3 of mine at home. I think that if you have a responsible midwife, they wouldn't even consider doing a homebirth with multiples - wayyy too many variables. My singletons were uncomplicated pregnancies and I had a CNM who had been an L&D nurse for many years before becoming a midwife and had been doing it for 30+ years.

    Mom to six awesome kids - Levi is 12, Landen is 8, Gabrielle is 6, Lucas is 3, and Oliver and Samuel are 2 years old. Love my crew. Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagegumiberg:
    i dont understand home birthing in general.  is it just to make a statement? to be "cool?"  i understand doing most of your labor at home (i didnt go to the hospital until i was 7cm) but eeew, i would not have wanted all that blood and puss and nastiness in my own bathtub to later clean up.

    You don't give birth in your own bathtub, at least I never did and you don't have to clean it up yourself - you just had a baby. The midwife does it for you. Mine brought the labor pool and all the supplies, including emergency supplies, and she took care of cleanup.

    I didn't do it to be "cool" I did it because I didn't want drugs pumped into me that went straight to my child and weren't necessary and I didn't like my odds of having an "emergency" cesarean b/c of medical intervention. My babies were born alert and responsive and undrugged. They nursed minutes after birth and I felt amazing after my home births. I'd hop in the shower and put on clean pajamas and climb into bed with my new baby. I didn't have nurses coming in constantly waking us up and poking and prodding.

    How you want to give birth is a very personal choice.

    Mom to six awesome kids - Levi is 12, Landen is 8, Gabrielle is 6, Lucas is 3, and Oliver and Samuel are 2 years old. Love my crew. Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageHaven1:
    imagerobinsokj:
    But I think homebirthing twins is simply selfish and irresponsible
    1000% agree.  It's my same feeling about people who bf their kindergarder.  You aren't doing this for them, you're doing this for YOU.

    I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Eww.

    Mom to six awesome kids - Levi is 12, Landen is 8, Gabrielle is 6, Lucas is 3, and Oliver and Samuel are 2 years old. Love my crew. Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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