- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
2nd Trimester
Does anyone LOVE their MIL? Or have a good horror story?
I've been thinking about this for 2 reasons:
1) I've been perusing the baby name board, and most often if someone is having a fit over the name it's the MIL
2) I'm spending Saturday at a Red Door salon for the whole works- prenatal massage, mani, pedi, facial, makeup- as a gift from my MIL! Sooo excited.
Very rarely do you get to hear people gush about how much they love their in-laws. Mine are both amazing, accomplished people, and they treat us like gold. My MIL just retired but has plenty of $, so she flies in to watch her only GS whenever we ask, but never over-steps her bounds. The sibs in law are pretty awesome too. I come from a pretty terrible fam, so I think God looked out for me on this one :0)
Anyone else with me on the IL love?
Or, just tell us your horror stories!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Does anyone LOVE their MIL? Or have a good horror story?
I love my MIL. It seems rare, and I'm so thankful that we get along so well. We carpool to work in the mornings, too.
The only thing that bothers me is when she wants to bring their dog-aggressive dog over to "work on her" with our dogs. Um no-our dogs are not training decoys. Take that crazy pup to a behaviorist!!
I don't love my MIL, but I also don't dislike her. She's just neutral
. I do really like my step-MIL though.
LOL- that would not be okay by me, either. Bizarre
My in-laws sometimes get crazy ideas about things that either a) they think might help us or b) they don't realize might not be normal for me, since I don't come from a family that shares everything. Like buying a storage shed to put on our property so they could store some things for a few month, but it would be ours to use after that. Great idea- if I had had an interest at all in cluttering my property with a storage shed. But if that's the worst I got, color me lucky.
My family is pretty darn awesome so to live up to them is almost impossible. That said I think my ILs are nice people, they just drive me batty. I often say to my Mom that I know MIL has the best intentions, but she just doesn't have any concept of reality and how her actions affect other people. The things she does aren't meant to make me or my family uncomfortable, she just lacks the interpersonal skills to understand that what she says and does makes people feel uncomfortable/on edge. Top this off she is very needy and needs to be constantly built up, i.e. you have to praise everything she does constantly or she pouts. It is a very exhausting relationship. So while I'm not volunteering to spend time with my MIL I don't think she is a bad person, just clueless and exhausting.
My FIL on the other hand is a gem and I really enjoy his company, but you can't have one without the other 90% of the time so MIL's antics generally ruin the time we get to spend with FIL.
I love my SILs and BILs that live in the midwest though. They are awesome, nothing like MIL, and we have a great relationship. I wish they lived closer because I know it would help balance out the pressure that MIL puts on me and maybe she and I would have a better relationship. Plus I just love them and would really enjoy having them around so that we could be more involved in their lives and the lives of our nieces and nephews.
Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
I am neutral to my MIL - mostly because she can be great but, is very crazy.
The latest is she CRIED when she found out we were having another boy. She also sent me a text that said "Boy #2 will be fun but, want you to know that we want a girl" Her first words when she saw Jackson for the first time "I want a granddaughter some day...." UGH it drives me insane!
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home Décor"><img src="http://global.thenest.com/tickers/tt1b728d.aspx" alt="Birthday" border="0" /></a>
My IL's drive me crazy! My FIL has a closed head injury so he lives with us and it is very stressful. He has no short term memory (but that's another vent for another day)
My MIL is really ditzy and kinda nutty. She gave use a really hard time about not wanting to know what our LO was going to be. She told DH to find out and tell her so that she knew what color clothes to buy! Seriously?! Like I wouldn't figure it our when I got a bunch of pink crap at the shower! Then when the nurse slipped and told us, she told DH that she was really happy the nurse messed up, good thing I wasn't upset or that would have really set me off.
They are good people, but they drive me NUTS!
Make a pregnancy ticker
I can relate to this, first words out of my MIL mouth was "I really wanted a boy"
I really do have a great MIL even though we have our moments. Most of her problem is she doesn't think before she speaks and this causes a lot of problems between her and DH. She expects way too much from him sometimes.
I love my MIL but she definitely has her moments..
For one she constantly doubts DH and I's decisions.. we have yet to make a wrong one so she doesn't have any ground to stand on. DH became incredibly successful at a young age and she compares us to her situation when she was 25..
The major thing that got to me is that she thought I was in the dark about any and everything pregnancy related.. I guess two years of nursing school, a Bachelors in business with a minor in healthcare, volunteering in the NICU at a local hospital, and a passion for anything healthcare related makes me uneducated. She honestly said to me during Christmas 'I am so surprised that you knew not to eat ___. Good job.' and 'Wow, you knew not to ___.'
Anyways.. she truly does have a big heart and is like a second mom. She does needs to lay off a little.
I have two sets of ILs and the general conclusion is I like them only in small doses.
We dont have much to do with his dad or step mom, she is like 20 years younger than him and is very resentful of Df and his sister. She makes FIL choose between her boys and DF and his sister all the time, she hates that he does anything for them. I hate that about her but it irks me that he makes those choices so we generally only see them on holidays.
Step FIL is an amazing man! Hes funny, genuine and caring and I have yet to see that man in a foul mood. Hes very easy goin and is good at difussing arguments. MIL on the other hand........ She lives for conflict, absolutely loves it. She once went weeks without talking to her mom or grandma because she felt "attacked" when they made a comment that she forgot to make the corn in the freezer on Thanksgiving. Really? The list goes on and on but basicaly its her way only and she will insist on her opinion even if she has no idea what shes talking about.
Perfect example. Last week I was hanging out with DFs sister and trying to help her upload pics on her laptop. We hit a snag as she didnt have software compatible for her moms Cannon professional camera. No biggie just get the disk from the box and upload it. Well when she saw us talking about having to do so she started screaming at the top of her lungs "What did you do to my camera?!?!? Did you touch the metal strip on the memory card?! If you did all my pictures are ruined!! Dont touch the metal strip, did you touch the metal strip?!?! This was expensive! Dont touch my stuff if you are going to ruin it!!" First of all, we didnt touch the metal strip. Secondly, touching the metal strip WILL NOT cause your camera to self destruct or erase its memory. We kept saying "No we didnt touch it, we just need to upload the software" but she wouldnt stop, she kept on til I finally had it uploaded and showed her that I was right. UGH! She exhausts me because she reacts this way to EVERYTHING! ( We wont even get into the baby related stuff.......)
So Im jealous of those who have a good relationship with their MILs. This is the first mother Ive ever had a problem with and go figure shed be the one I have to deal with forever...
My MIL is pretty cool. My husband is an only child, so they have always treated me like their daughter. She takes me for pedicures and we go shopping sometimes. They just live down the street from us. We go out to dinner with them. Before we had a child we would go out drinking with them. The only thing that bothers me is she is always trying to give my daughter a nickname and shorten her name and add a Y. Doesn't work with me.
I LOVE my inlaws! They are the most amazing and generous people I have ever met! They are just truly nice people but they did something for my family that I will never forget.
My dad was killed in an accident last June, and obviously it was a huge shock to our entire family. My inlaws were in the middle of a vacation and left to come to NY so my father in law could lead my dad's ceremony (My FIL is an Epsicopalian Priest). They weren't particularly close to my father, but they stepped right up without a second thought to do it. It meant the world to my family and I that they would do that, and my FIL did such a beautiful job. It really helped to have them there.
So no horror stories here, I know I have been blessed because I know lots of people who do have awful inlaws!
LOL, this last part sounds like crap my mom does. Maybe that would be a good thread "Crap my mom does that makes me want to move to another country." No kidding, we've considered it.
I LOVE MY ILs. I would rather spend time with them over just about any one else on the planet. My BIL/SIL have 3 boys and have very different rules for our kids and they never question anything we ask them to (not) do.
Sometimes she makes herself out to be the nicest, most caring and most understanding mother when she recalls raising her 3 sons. It never bothers me because most of the time she's just trying to put my minor frustrations into perspective. And, it's never been a competition between us.
OMG!!! This is so horrible!!!!! I would just let your child call her my her name without titles if she going to be that crazy.
My MIL has really been pi$$ing me off lately about my baby shower. BUT overall, I love her and get along with her really well.
She has two sons so I'm the only "daughter" she's ever had, and the only woman she's really ever had to buy for. And boy does she enjoy it! DH and my first Christmas together, she spend at least $200 on me for clothes. Then this Christmas, she bought me a TON of maternity clothes--two pairs of pants, a cami, 3 shirts... She went wild! She's extremely generous. And the best part about her: she isn't nosy and doesn't baby DH. She never tries to interfere with our lives (and hopefully that'll stay the same when LO comes). I could definitely have a much, much worse MIL!
I love my IL's. My FIL is seriously the sweetest, kindest most generous person I've ever met. My mother is law can be crazy at time but she's never been anything but awesome towards me. They both have accepted me with open arms from the beginning of DH and I's relationship. They have been so generous to us and they are amazing grandparents to our niece. I also appreciate them because my mother-in-law accepted me even after she found out a not so pleasant thing about me and she still loves me even so (long story).
My MIL is a little crazy sometimes but I've learned to deal with it. There are some things she does that drives me crazy. SHe is a mom of 7 though so its kidn of understandable. She holds different standards for DH then for the rest of the him because he is the oldest. The brother right below him is the biggest screw up in the world and I swear he could kill someone and MIL would still defend him. He will do messed up things, sometimes to his own family members and DH will say something to him about it and DH will be the one who gets in trouble, not the brother. Its annoying but we learn to ignore it.
Well... do you really wanna hear it? My horror story is actually funny.
Horror story: Last christmas we were at their house and I, already pregs, was cooking ham (a pork leg with bone) while she was cooking the turkey. I love cooking and I am very proud of my ham, but I was only cooking it because they asked me to. I mean, I was pregnant, it was warm, it meant hours on my feet and plus I know how jealous she is!
Well, the day before christmas eve, I took the ham out of the fridge (it was a 9 pound ham), so that it would thaw propperly until next morning. She waited until I went to sleep and put it back in the fridge. Behind my back.
Needless to say, next morning, when I woke up early to season the ham, I found it still frozen inside the fridge. If you like to cook than you know how frustrating that kind of intervention can be. But I kept my peace. External, at least.
And I would have let go, I wouldn't even remember the episode, but... she didn't stop there. I caught her re-seasoning the ham after I had left it marinading. And as the ham was roasting, she lowered the oven, when it had to be high. Once more, behind my back. Luckily I found out in time, or it would've been 4+ hours of work for crap!
I don't think that she did it to sabotage me. I think she actually thought that she was helping. She just wanted to controll things. I told my husband and we both had a laugh over it - as the ham turned out ok, it became a funny story. All my friends loved it, I mean it's like soap-opera!
Things that are really making me upset with her, though, are: her campaingning against my pets b/c of the pregnancy, her wanting to come with me to shop and pay for the nursery to make sure I "get things right" (her own words), when our tastes are very different, the fact that she won't stop harrassing us to buy a new car when we don't need one and should actually save as much money as possible (this last one really gets on DH's nerves, he ends up fighting with her everytime and she still won't drop it)...
She's controlling and jealous and yet overly critical of her son and her daughter. I can take the jealousy, but not the criticism. DH's a wonderful man and I could just murder anyone who makes him feel bad about himself. She's difficult. It's not just me - her entire family say so.
But I don't hate her. I even like her. She is a very vibrant woman, optimistic and full of energy and really pleasant when she is in a good mood. And, in all due fairness, she's been trying harder and harder to make our relationship work. We both have.
My GM (my mom's MIL) was truly horrible and racist and was out to break-up my mom and dad (which she never managed, thank god). When we were kids, she once made me memorise horrible things I didn't even comprehend to say to my mom when her friends were in the house. I wasn't four and I can still remember my mom crying. That's a real horror story.
So I know a monster-in-law when I see one. And my MIL is nothing like that. She likes the fact that me and DH are toghether and having a baby. And she loves DH to bits. She is just a bit... nosy and critical, that's all. I think that's forgivable. And manageable. Albeit annoying.
Wow, this was long! Even for my verborragic standards... sorry.
All the best!
I love that my MIL... lives in Belgium. I've been with DH for close to 11 years and only seen her 3 times... and that's plenty if you ask me. Even from afar and with limited contact (DH still resents her for moving back to Belgium after they had immigrated), she manages to tell us how we should live our lives.
For instance, the last time we saw MIL was at our wedding and she spent much time trying to convince us to quit our jobs to start our own restaurant (guess what she does for a living... yup, she has a restaurant). She also never got over the fact that DH dropped out of college - even though the job he currently has technically requires a college degree (but he had the skills so he was hired even if he didn't have the diploma).
Also? I finally convinced DH to call her to tell her we were expecting LO#2. One of the first things she told him was "Don't have any more than 3". WTF? The woman might have had 2 kids (DH has a half brother in Belgium), but she never had more than one to take care of, so WTF would she know about having 2, let alone 3, kids? And who says that anyways? Couldn't a simple "congrats" suffice?
So yeah, I am glad my MIL lives so far away. As for the rest of the IL's, I really like them. Especially DH's aunt (MIL's sister). She is like a mother to him and we just both love her to pieces.
Mine is a total idiot...seriously, she is.
We were up at Lake Tahoe last week, you know, the big lake located in the Sierra Nevada mountains on the CA/NV border. She honestly thought manatees live in the lake and she pondered the thought that there might still be Native Americans living in the forests around the lake. We were driving up to Emerald Bay and she said, "I wonder if there's still Indians still living out there" *silence* I then said, "What like out there in the forest" "Yeah" she responded.
::eye roll::
Wedding/Honeymoon Pictures
I love my MIL. We are close. I am on bedrest and tonight she is bringing dinner over to eat with me. Tomorrow she is bringing me to my Dr appt. She's great. We are even starting to get a routine that she comes over and we watch the Bachelor together
She didn't love our name choice (I could just tell) but she would never say and I know she's accepted it now and is used to it already...
BLOG
When we announced we were pg with DS her reaction was 'Do you think DIL3 will have a baby soon? She likes babies.' Um, how about a congrats?
When we announced this baby she called all her family/friends but didn't call DH until BIL convinced her to. She then told DH it was that 'she had just gotten the announcement card' when in reality she was mad at me for a couple of stupid things and being passive aggressive. I called her on it and a family war insued with her making up stories about things I had said.
Add that up with the fact she has made condesending remarks to me/about me for the last 6 years, refused to watch my son for my grandmother's funeral, my 30th bithday (but will call me when she's watching the other grandkids), has tried to get SILs to hate me based on her lies you could say we really don't get along.
Love my in-laws too, especially MIL. I just wish they lived a little closer. They're in Seattle and we're in San Francisco :-(
Make that it three, ladies! DH's entire side said, "Aw...." and then were silent when we called to say it was a girl.
When we originally told them we were having a baby, SIL asked the due date. When we said June (which happens to be her birthday month), she said, "Man! I hope the baby isn't born in MY birthday!!!"
Oh, did I mention that ILs have a TON of money and didn't offer to help pay for our wedding? Maybe it wouldn't be so offensive if we hadn't dated for over 5 years and his parents threw a fit about the small guest list (without offering any help of course).
They make me CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This exactly. My MIL has good intentions, but doesn't really understand social graces or boundaries. It stresses me out a lot, but I try to remind myself that I know she means well. DH sticks up for our space when he needs too ... usually after I prompt him. Ha!
Wow, it sounds like most of you hit the jackpot. I'm jealous.
My MIL is horrible, and I'm not sure if it's because of the drugs she's been on for the past ten years because of her back problems (Oxycontin previously and now morphine) or if she actually really is that horrible on her own. Recently, my husband and I had to confront her about our belief that the drugs have affected her mind and body such that we don't want her driving or watching our son alone. Her reaction has been horrible and excessive, and she's done everything from verbally abuse both of us to going behind my back and trying to turn my own family members against me. Now, everyone is responding to her negatively and realizing that she's acting manic and psychotic, and she has resorted to veiled suicide threats. At this point, I'm not sure whether to take her seriously or to think this is just another of her manipulation techniques. I'm more inclined to take her seriously, because I lost my Dad to suicide a little over two years ago and I can't go through that again. I'm talking to a professional about it this evening to see what I can do.
Anyway, my family on both sides is pretty horrible, and it's been really hard on me lately. Those of you who scored with great parents and/or in-laws are really, really lucky and should count your blessings. I'm just glad I have a great sister, a great DH and a fabulous little boy, or else I'd fall apart.