How to explain to your 2 yr old about an upcoming surgery for them.

nancy814 · February 2011

I'm kind of piggy backing on Seasoul's post about Cal's upcoming bloodwork.

Paige has an Atrial Septal Defect (hole in the heart) that needs to be closed up. Too big to close on it's own. Unfortunetly the cathertization process is not an option for her b/c she tested positive for 3 clotting disorders, Factor V Leiden, MTHFR, and Lipoprotein A. She willl need to have Open Heart Surgery which obviously I am a wreck about. She'll have to be on Lovenex for 6 weeks after surgery....so I am going ot have to give her shots twice a day for 6 weeks. LIke me having shots for IF and then GD wasn't enough!

Anyway....I haven't really thought about explaining this to her...and have her understand. She's pretty good when we go to the doctor...very cooperative. I'm so afraid that is going to change after the surgery. I mean how do you explain it for her to understand? It's not like she knows what that even means.

She got a doctor kit for Christmas so we play doctor a LOT. Always listen to the heart and she even knows to check the back to listen. Very cute. I'm just not sure how to prepare a 2 year old for the pain she'll be in. I can't even type this without tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

Okay...I'm done typing...any suggestions would be great.

Thanks ladies!

DavezWife · February 2011

I would call ahead to your children's hospital and talk to them about involving the "child life" specialists - most kids hospitals have them these days, and I bet they would help prep her. (I worked years ago in peds as a nurse, these folks ROCKED!) I would say at age 2 she might be pretty ambigious to it. But pushing age 3... whoa, whole other ball game. I've found out once they're able to clearly express their feelings, you can literally see their brains spin, KWIM?

also, FWIW, I've done several rounds of lovenox with my treatments, and I found the GENERIC version to not only be easier to open (trust me, a small thing huge in the end) but much less "stingy" - the shot didn't hurt, the burn 2 mins later did. I bet the child life folks can help you with "roll play" and stuff with that, too.

skoorbnibor · February 2011

awww, big hugs! (and Todd says to tell you we need to all get together soon)

Paige is bright and I think she would respond to basic information, I might tell her that the doctors are fixing her, and that she will be just fine, after they fix her, and she stays in the hospital for a bit, with Mommy and Daddy, too (I would make sure she gets that you will there the entire time, she might not see you, but you will be there). I think telling her before hand might overwhelm, but maybe as things are happening, if you can? Will you be allowed to be with her the entire time, until the actual surgery? That way you can be right there and if she sees you are freaking out (and you cant!) then she will feel less fear for each new thing?

nancy814 · February 2011

Thanks Davez.....I will definitely ask about that. She is on the young side of 2 but I'm sure she'll "get it" someway. I'll also talk to the hemotologist about your suggestion with Lovenex. Thanks for that tidbit...one of the few drugs I didn't have to inject myself with.

Thanks Robin....Dwight & I were just talking about that as well. Way overdue for a get together. Feb is kind of crazy for us but maybe early March? Paige goes for her surgery on March 25th. And yes we will be with her the whole time up to surgery and then after. She'll be there for about 5 days so I've taken the time off from work so I can focus 100% on her. I know I can't freak out...and so far I have done really well when we go to the doctor appts. It's when she's not around and my mind starts to wander. I have to call my Doctor to see if I can get something for the day of surgery...not sure how I'll be able to wait patiently.

Thanks for the advice. Motherhood can be tough...but oh the rewards are great.

DavezWife · February 2011

another silly sidebar - pain meds, esp morphine make your skin crawl and itch like mad. mix that in with being stuck in bed, and a toddler who might not be able to voice the irritation this causes, just be aware of it. cold washclothes, lotion on her back and legs, arms.... all helpful in the healing process. ;-)

nancy814 · February 2011

thanks again Davez! good to know. Only surgery I ever had was my C-section. I'll be printing this post and adding to my hospital packet.

browneyedgrl4282 · February 2011

All three of my kids have had surgery, the twins were both 2 when they had it. I didn't really get into too much detail with them just said they had a booboo and it needed to be fix but they would be sleeping while they fixed it. I did go to the OR and hold all my kids while they were put to sleep. I think it was much easier on them that they saw me before going to sleep.

Good Luck!

SeaSoul · February 2011

I really feel for you, Nancy. This must be so hard to go through as a mom...probably much less so, for Paige! Interesting that she has 3 clotting disorders! And they were found by happenstance??

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