I can has outings??

--halo-- · February 2011

You guys are all going back to work, and going out to eat, and work out, and who knows what else. I'm peering out from behind the curtains wondering if the free world still exists.

Why do I feel like I can't go anywhere or do anything?! When I was pregnant I thought, pfft, I'll take him everywhere and if he cries, he cries. But now I feel like I can't do anything. I haven't gone out to eat, I haven't gone shopping for myself, I haven't done anything by myself with him. I feel like I NEED someone there to be a second set of hands to hold things and be moral support.

We have gone to people's houses, and we have gone to the park and shopping at Target and other various places, but that has all been with DH and were all very short trips. I feel like I can't do anything on my own for some reason.

I think I am afraid of him crying and me not being able to settle him down. He doesn't cry all the time or anything, but Jackson is LOUD, I mean bloody murder screaming is his normal cry, there is no inbetween with this kid. So I feel like if I take him anywhere and he cries I am doomed or something. He cries in his carseat if it is not constantly jiggling (every stoplight he screams until you go again), so I feel like I would have to hold him the whole time if we went out to eat. And even then he would lose his patience after 10 mins or so and want to do something else.

WTF, help me figure out how to do the things you guys do!

--halo-- · February 2011

Where did my avatar go?

ReneeDear · February 2011

The thing that built up my confidence on going out with out DH was going to a new mom support group. They have topics on Breastfeeding, baby wearing, relationships,... etc but it was really great to be in a room full of new moms and babies. It really built up my confidence to go other places in public.

--halo-- · February 2011

I have found some mom groups in town, but no 'new' mom groups.

I'm even too intimidated to take him to the regular mom group because I think I'd be the only one there with a small baby.

lindseybell3 · February 2011

1ht

i feel exactly the same way... gotta have dh 2 do anything. can u get out for a walk at least? i leave dh w a bottle sometimes...

janneann1127 · February 2011

i try to plan my outings with G to times when i know he'll probably nap. by the time i get to where i'm going, he's already asleep.. or close, and the movement of the stroller at wherever i am puts him to sleep if he isn't already.

we've even gone to nice dinners at night, just brought him along in the carseat when he's sleeping. i don't know if that's the reason why, but he sleeps great in crowd noise. maybe take baby steps and bring him along when you know he'll sleep first? and if he cries.. screw it. he cries. what are you gonna do?!

JulietL129 · February 2011

Honestly, don't worry about him crying! He's a tiny baby, people understand & don't mind little babies crying at all. It's crazy toddlers running around and throwing tantrums that people get bothered by. At first I was so nervous about him crying, but once it happened a couple times and no one cared, or people even offered encouragement/ were nice about it (a lady in a store told me after I got him calmed down "Oh, I just love to hear little baby cries, you'll really miss that once he's bigger!"). Now, if I need to go somewhere I have no problem taking him out... I just try to feed him right before we leave and change his diaper. He goes everywhere H and I go, we just go out to eat at noisy places like TGI Fridays and Chili's so when he does cry he doesn't bother anyone

Kristi221 · February 2011

Yes, you can has outings!! Maybe start with a store nearby when you don't really *need* anything. That way, if a meltdown starts, you can just head on out without it ruining your plans. I feel your pain though! M hates the car and pretty much hates her carseat in general. I have noticed that her happy time of the day is the morning (not mine, but whatevs) and started to run my errands then. I try to get up before her, get myself ready, change and feed her, then we boogy!

I've also got a Sleep Sheep for the car, found a favorite song that seems to soothe her and hung up these toy bugs (Sassy brand) from the carseat handle. It doesn't always work, but today went well. She actually slept in the car!

Also, try going to kid-friendly restaurants where it won't matter if he is crying. Like a Cici's pizza or something that has games and kids running everywhere. Might not be the romantic dinner you're looking for with DH, but if LO starts to cry, the people there will at least have sympathy for you, if they even notice. And FWIW, M goes from 0-60 in like 2 seconds with her crying/screaming, so I know what you mean. My SIL tells me it's not as bad as I think and even some nice ladies at Moe's told her "She didn't have to leave! We barely heard the baby!" when I took her outside during screamfest 3000.

xxbabycakesxx · February 2011

i feel the exact same way you do. the only time dh and i have taken griffin out was for his drs appts and he never cried. this past sun was his first real outing to dh's family get together but i was more concerned about germs and stuff in that situation. he actually didnt cry there either. id like to take griffin out to do groceries and other errands but i, too, am terrified he'll start to cry and i wont be able to calm him down. id hate it if ppl were to stare at me and think im a horrible mother. im going to start off small like bringing him on short errands with dh to build up my confidence. and then slowly bring him on longer outings by myself.

CFH79 · February 2011

Definitely try going on short outings where you don't really need anything and can just leave if he pitches a fit. Do you have a moby, ergo, etc you can carry him in when you go? If you some place like target, you can keep moving to soothe him and if he gets upset, you can just walk out. You can do this!

Dana86 · February 2011

If you know he likes to be in motion try wearing him when you go out. M has the same issue of needing to be in motion and either wearing her or having her in the cart seems to put her at ease. But like others have said start out with a few close by trips and go from there. If you dont start getting out now you will never get out and about with baby.

IncogNeato · February 2011

Kristi221:
My SIL tells me it's not as bad as I think and even some nice ladies at Moe's told her "She didn't have to leave! We barely heard the baby!" when I took her outside during screamfest 3000.

OMG Moe's! I miss Moe's! (We moved far away from any. )

chipperchicken · February 2011

E is the same way- it takes her about 3 seconds to go from sound asleep to furiously screaming, and she can get really loud and screechy. The other day I was in Nordies and she started howling, and 3 people stopped to tell me what a cute little cry she had. I was like, are you people serious??? But it made me feel so much more comfortable.

I also was so nervous to take her out to do anything, but after a while I realized that at some point she's going to have a meltdown in public, and I'm going to have to learn to deal with it.

Just rip off the bandaid- you'll feel better!!

woollypetals · February 2011

I was super nervous the first time I went out with my LO. He was fine and slept the whole time. I totally understand the not wanting him to melt down in public. But it's not that bad.

The one time he melted down in public was at Joann fabrics, the tiny dinky one without a public restroom. He wouldn't calm down until I latched him at the patterns table, feed him there for 15 minutes and changed his diaper on the same table. It was stressful, but you have to do what your child needs and not worry about others. Nobody gave me dirty looks, at least that I noticed.

If your baby takes a longer nap, start with that, put him in the carseat when he's asleep and be ready to go, and take a short trip to target or something. If you keep it short he will probably stay asleep and you will have one under your belt.

Goodluck!

--halo-- · February 2011

We do go on walks, he's screamed a few times and I had to hold him with one arm and push the stroller with the other.. lol Yes, I do have an Ergo and he actually loves to ride in it, as long as I'm moving. lol He's funny about carriers, he loves to be in them when we are out, but hates to be in one when we are at home.

Thanks for the suggestions to go to kid-friendly/loud places, somehow that never really crossed my mind. I wouldn't feel like a huge nuisance at places like that.

I think I'm just going to have to go for it like some of you said, and just go out for short trips just for the fun of it. Thanks for the encouragement, I feel really stuck sometimes.

dee12807 · February 2011

T also screams when I stop at lights, and stop moving the stroller when I'm out. Figured that out making a return to Kohls (one of my first outing by myself). After waiting in a really long line and it was almost my turn he started. I was so embarrassed I was sweating, but the people around me just kind of laughed and smiled and didn't make a big deal of it. The guy behind me actually told me not to worry, that I will be more embarrassed when he's 3 and throwing a tantrum on the floor - it made me laugh and I felt much better.

I still get anxious when taking him out alone and try to keep my trips as short as possible, but I really do kind of feel like if I was in the middle of lets say Target, the worst thing that happens is that I have to put down whatever I was going to purchase and leave the store. If your LO does start to scream, I'm sure it wouldn't be the first baby to ever do so....

cupcakes710 · February 2011

The only reason I don't like to take LO out by myself is because everything is so HEAVY! I don't like carrying the carseat. Plus you have to carry the diaper bag and get the stroller out and everything...

I think the mall is a great place to start. I don't know if you BF or not, but if you do, there are lots of places you can go to get your LO to stop crying. Some malls even have Family Rooms where you can feed your baby. If not, I hit up fitting rooms in desolated parts of department stores. ;-)

Good luck. Just take baby steps. hahahaha baby... oh geez.

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