Can I vent about DH for a sec?

Mrs.T22308 · February 2011

I'm just so frustrated at the moment and need to get this out

Backstory: My birthday is 2 1/2 weeks before Xmas. I get gyped every.single.year because DH works in retail. I'm lucky if I get dinner (that I cook myself) at 11pm on the night of my birthday. But I understand DH's schedule, but doesn't change the fact that it still sucks.

This year, DH knew how frustrated I've been doing almost 100% of household and baby duties for the past 7 months on top of working and running a business. All I wanted was a day off of baby and wife duty and a gift certificate for a basic pedicure. I'm easy to please LOL. So DH goes above and beyond, gets me a mani/pedi AND gives me this certificate declaring I get 1 free weekend to do whatever I wish, I get a back rub, a long bath, dinner and breakfast cooked, sleep as late as I want etc. I was ECSTATIC!

So obviously I needed to wait to cash it in because of his schedule. Sucked, but again, I understood. He FINALLY got a weekend off this past weekend and I asked to use my free pass. He said fine.

Saturday morning comes and I get up early. I go to do a few errands and use 1/2 of my mani/pedi gift certificate. I come home (Our plan was to go to MA for my haircut together, the Yankee Candle Store and dinner) and DH tells me he has to go to work because someone called out. Really!? So I ask him if he called everyone else on his staff for coverage and he responds "I don't want to make them go in on a Saturday night" Seriously? I was so upset and started bawling my eyes out. I beg him to call his staff, which he reluctantly did and after a few hours, found someone to cover. We go about out plans to go to MA and things were ok (but by no means was I happy).

DH didn't wake up with LO at all, I cleaned the house, cooked breakfast, did 100% of baby care while DH watched TV, and I got nothing that was listed on my certificate. Sunday my day was filled with prepping for a superbowl party and taking care of LO while DH putzed around. Same at the party... DH enjoyed the game, I watched/cared for LO.

I am just so frustrated. I even made a comment to his mom at the superbowl party about my "baby free weekend" I was supposed to have, and he's like "What are you talking about? What baby free weekend? I have no idea what you are thinking"

So anyway, I'm upset and frustrated. And tomorrow is DH's birthday... I spent a lot of my time this past week putting together a really personalized/thoughtful gift for DH and I am so aggrivated I don't even want to give it to him. I don't want to wish him a Happy Birthday He is home with LO tomorrow and I'm secretly hoping LO is a holy terror. I know I should do my "duties" as his wife and give him a little lovin tonight or tomorrow and I have NO desire to. And I hate myself for thinking that way

Vent over. I just needed to get that out. If you have any words of wisdom, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Shandie_725 · February 2011

I'm in the same boat - my bday's 8 days after Christmas. DH always tries to do something for it, so I don't get gyped, but this year he didn't wake up early with DD and I was kinda mad since I do ALL the night calls with her due to his schedule.

Give him his gift, and go about the day. In a few days, mention that you'd like a chance to re-redeem your certificate since things were crazy with the Superbowl. (I say wait so you don't come across as passive-agressive).

doremi29 · February 2011

I have no words of wisdom, but just wanted to say I'd be annoyed/frustrated too!

susie985 · February 2011

Did you talk to your DH and remind him of what he said the gift entailed? Sometimes men really are clueless. I would just explain to him that you could really use a break and remind him of the gift.

GL, I hope you get your break!

emilysmommy2010 · February 2011

I understand why you are upset. Sometimes moms need a little break too. It is also frustrating because he didn't hold up to his end of the bargain and now he acts like he doesn't know what it even was. I would sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel. May be if you smooth things over you will be more happy to give him his gift. I hope this helps and you work things out.

ATT&BTT · February 2011

I am sorry. DH has school all day then work all evening. So 7 days a week he has either both or one of them. I have had the "joy" of house hunting pregnant, packing up the apartment pregnant/with a newborn after a c-section, then unpack at the new house with LO plus I work. So I feel your pain. When DH is home it is hit or miss on help.

I like the idea of asking nicely for the rest of your weekend using the super bowl as the excuse. GL!