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1st Trimester
Newborn and a dog. My concerns...
Alright, so I'm about 4 weeks along. I know we have a while to plan everything out but it's really starting to get to me. Last night my husband suggested that we give our dog away by the time the baby gets here. It broke my heart! I am super attached to her (as is he) but he thinks it'll be easier since we are first time parents that it is just me, him and our newborn. We have a 1 year old Lab. Yes, she has a lot of energy. I understand exercise is the best! But, once my husband goes back to work it's just me, the baby and our dog. He's afraid I'll be really overwhelmed with both.
Our dog is sweet, and has never been aggressive to ANYONE or anything. She has little outbursts through out the day... I think it's pent up energy/she just wants attention which is what worries us.
I very much want our dog to be apart of our baby's life. I've always wanted that. My husband is pretty much putting his foot down on getting rid of her.
Any suggestions from other moms with dogs????
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Re: Newborn and a dog. My concerns...
This may be harsh but I feel passionately about it. When you adopted your dog you made a forever commitment to her. Tell your husband to man up and take care of his responsibilities, including the dog. Yes, it will be a lot of work to have a baby and a dog but you signed up for that when you got your dog and you knew about her when you started TTC.
We have two large energetic dogs and two cats. Everyday I am thankful for the fact that they will be part of my baby's life. It stresses me out to think about how we are going to have enough time to meet everyone's needs but we will work it out because they are important to us and we made a commitment to them.
DH and I look forward to taking LO on walks with the dogs and helping model proper pet ownership for LO. Dogs require time and energy, as do babies. People have been managing it for years. You can do it too.
Good luck.
BFP #2 - Sylvie V. Q. born and died on 10.28.11 at 21w.
BFP #3 - Evie V. Q. Fetal demise @ 16w. DC 7.8.12
BFP #4 - Beatrix V. Q. Born 6.2.13 at 23w6d.
My blog My chart
Ditto.
We have a high-energy boxer who we got before we had DD. It has definitely been a transition for us AND for the dog - she (the dog) seems depressed sometimes if she's not getting as much attention as the baby - but it's been awesome. Now that DD is older, seeing them play together is so much fun.
Don't ever let the folks on the Pets board on the Nest see this post or you'll get flamed to high heaven. Not that they don't have a point...
Your husband is a fool. If you can't handle a dog in your family, you shouldn't have gotten one or you shouldn't have gotten pregnant.
I would suggest training for you dog. We took our dog to basic training when she was 2 and it helped a lot! There are also several things you can do to get your dog ready for a new baby. Knowing I was going to some day have kids, I started randomly tugging on my dog's tail, ears, and playing with her jowels excess skin. Also, thoughout your pregnancy, gradually start ignoring your dog.
Honestly, our dog didn't even care we had DS until he started throwing food out of his highchair. It can be a lot of work to have a hyper dog and a baby at the same time, but it's worth it.
lol. I've been doing the same thing to our younger dog. I've also been flopping on her and lying on her. I've also been thinking about playing some tapes of babies crying to get them used to that too.
BFP #2 - Sylvie V. Q. born and died on 10.28.11 at 21w.
BFP #3 - Evie V. Q. Fetal demise @ 16w. DC 7.8.12
BFP #4 - Beatrix V. Q. Born 6.2.13 at 23w6d.
My blog My chart
Well said !
I have an extremely active beagle mix and a chihuahua. We would never think of giving either up as they are a art of our family. If need be, we will just take turns as to who is walking the dogs and who is watching the baby. If you are worried about the dog pulling while you are pushing a carraige, just strap the baby on your chest and then you can have both hands free to deal with holding onto the dog's leash.
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
I fully agree with this. Put your foot down and keep your dog. She will adjust to a newborn with your help and patience. Consider reading articles online about how to help a dog adjust to a baby and come up with a plan. We have found a wealth of information out there that has helped us with our Golden rescue. While I have some concerns about how she will react to a baby (she is hyper and a "velco" dog), I know that it's up to my husband and I to help her adjust.
Personally, never in a million years could I imagine giving up my dogs. We have had our female since before DH and I got married (found her on the street). My little guy was adopted from a kill shelter. They have changed my life in so many ways and I have learned so much from having them around.
As a matter of fact my little girl has been SUPER protective and snuggly with me since I became pregnant. She sleeps right by my side when I am having my bouts of morning sickness and does not beg for her breakfast. She just waits for me to get up.
We plan on transitioning the dogs, just like everything else we will have to change when the LO arrives. We plan to transition slowly and I still plan on spending time with the dogs alone. Even if it is just for a few minutes a day.
I am also glad my LO will be able to grow up with animals.
Has your husband considered working with a dog trainer to ease his concerns? It may just be the first few months that are the most challenging. Just imagine when you and the baby and the dog can all go on walks together.
Thanks everyone for the feedback, I appreciate it. I'm sharing my pain and distress over this so please, don't think my husband is a bad person... And I am one of those people that would never abandon a dog because of an inconvenience. He's not a "fool." He has never been a dad before, honestly... So, he' s just as scared/nervous/excited as I am. I wouldn't have posted this if people were going to attach a "bad dog owner" stigma on me.
Like I said in the first place, I'm only four weeks. We have lots of time to discuss this further. My ultimate hope would be for my parents to take her. She loves it over there.
Just looking for what other people have done. thanks.
I'm so excited to see how our chocolate lab will interact with a baby! I think he's going to be hilarious! I really only have 2 concerns with him:
1. He thinks everything is his, so i'm not sure how he will be with the baby's toys! We'll have to teach him to share! LOL!
2. EVERYTIME the doorbell rings he barks like a mad man! Only until the person comes in the house and gets to the kitchen, then he's fine. But with all the visitors that will be coming over to see a newborn, that could get VERY annoying! We'll figure it out though.
I just love him so much I could never imagine giving him away. I agree that you made a commitment to the dog and even though it will be difficult, things will settle down soon enough. also, have you thought about doggie daycare a few days a week? It might help get some energy out.
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"><a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"><img border="0" src="http://tickers.myfitnesspal.com/ticker/show/825/1820/8251820.png" /></a><p style="text-align:center;width:420px;"><small>Created by MyFitnessPal - Free <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com">Calorie Counter</a></small></p>I love this idea.
This.
Why the hell would you need to rehome a sweet animal, with no aggression issues? People have babies and manage to honor the commitment they made to their animals all the time. Pets are not a filler until the baby comes along. They are not temporary and they are not disposable. They are living beings that you made a life-long promise to when you brought them into your home.
You are your dog's entire world. Imagine if someone came along, took you out of your home, away from everything you know and love, and plunked you down in a strange environment for no reason. And because you don't speak the same language, you don't even have a small understanding of why this is happening to you.
My dog is spoiled and beloved, and I'm not worried at all. Sure, there will be jealousy and I fully expect to have to correct certain behaviors when the baby comes. I accepted that reality when I chose to get a dog and still planned to TTC in our future. This dog is a member of my family, and there is nothing I won't do - training, time, effort, etc. - to help her transition to the new baby.
She's done nothing wrong, and doesn't deserve to be punished just because I decided to have a baby. I really don't mean to be an ass_hole here, but posts like this break my heart.
So.... would you give up your first born if you happen to get pregnant again??
I really dislike people who think pets are disposable. They are a part of the family and to discard them like they're not is disgusting.
Yes! I used to work in a shelter and saw the heart break of these poor animals who had been given up because people "couldn't" keep them for one stupid reason or another. There is absolutely no excuse unless the animal is truly vicious, and even then training and behavior therapy should be tried before giving the animal up. Adopting an animal is a lifelong commitment. It's a privilege to have them be a part of your life. Oh, and I second the re-homing your husband idea
This exactly. You have a long time to prepare the dog for baby. How selfish and lazy can your husband be!
TTC #1 since Jan 09
Jul 2010 - HSG, SA, U/S BW - all clear
Nov 2010- Mar 2011 - 50mg Clomid, HCG Trigger & IUI 1-4 All BFN
Apr/May 2011 break
June 2011 - New RE, New Plan
July 2011 - Gonal F, Ovidrel & IUI #5
July 2011 surprise BFP on a break cycle before injects!!! Please let this be it!
Cautiously expecting our miracle on Feb 25, 2012
I agree with other posters. You have some time here and that time can be used to properly train your dog. Get outside help, if you don't think you can do it on your own.
We have an older dog who is set in his ways. We just had to set "new" boundaries for him. Sorry pup, not allowed on the couch anymore. And you know what, you CAN teach old dogs, new tricks. So just think, if we can reteach our older dog (he will be 15 this September), you can most definetly teach your pup. Which I would think one would want anyway.
Don't give up so easily (this is more towards your husband) if the only "problem" is that he is too hyper, he will settle down and your child one day, will be calling him over to pet his head (my DD does this ALL the time) and he loves it.
This exactly. I hope you are one and done.
Your husband is being an ass. Sorry, but he is. You can't just get rid of a dog for no reason. Plus, it's good for kids to grow up around pets.
ETA: We have two dogs and a toddler with another baby on the way. When pregnant with DS, we had a baby doll around the house for the dogs to see and get used to. When he was born, my H brought home his hat for them to smell. Our one dog can be somewhat territorial, so we pay EXTRA close attention to him and the baby. DS is BFF with the other dog.
Oh, and I get the whole nervous parent thing, but what kind of example are you setting to your newborn if you just got rid of things because life may be too tough? Yea, he/she will be a newborn and won't be aware of what's going on at the time, but somewhere down the road, they will ask why you got rid of Scruffy.
Go Phils!!
Maybe look into hiring a dog walker or even sending the dog to doggie day care a few days a week if you/yourhusband feel like you cant handle a baby and a dog. I can think of 100 alternatives to getting rid of her.
I dont understand not being able to care for a baby and a dog. It just does not compute.
My sister has a Lab and she's had three kids. Lucy (the dog) is very, very good and very, very sweet around all three of them and always has been.
We have a 12-week-old Lab and she won't even be a year old when we have the kid, but it's not even a question that we'd keep our dog. Just work on training and it'll be fine.
mm 2/17/11 * dd born 4/20/12 * bo 1/3/14 * edd 1/21/ 1/15
Exactly this! Dogs are not disposable items that you can just get rid of when they aren't as convenient anymore. Millions of dogs are euthanized each year because their owners don't understand the responsibility that comes with pet ownership. And what kind of example does that set for children?
I have two active German shepherds. It's not as hard as you think to give them enough exercise. Throw the ball outside, take them for a walk, run around with them in the backyard. If you can't devote the time, hire a dog walker or drop the dog off at a doggie day-care once a week.
ditto. And your husband IS and ass if this is his solution.
I have an Australian Shepherd. It doesn't get much more high energy than that. She was only 1 when we brought DD home from the hospital. She hardly ever paid attention to her until DD was old enough to start throwing food from her high chair. Now they are best friends.
You have to see how the dog adjusts to the baby. That's most important and your child is your number one priority.
My husband and I had a dog for years before our first child was born. By the time my son was 5 months old, our dog went after him and bit him in the face. Needless to say, although we had a commitment to our dog--we don't have him anymore.
Have you looked into a doggie day care too to help your pup release his energy? When we lived in an apartment in D.C. we use to take our dog (while we were at work) to a local doggie day care. He got to play, interact with other dogs and people and go outside, play in pools on hot days etc...AND I got to watch him on the internet to make sure he was OK (he is my first baby ;-).
And, they could be a great source for training and giving advice on introducing pup to baby.
I would also suggest as you get closer to put out the baby "equipment" out so your dog can sniff it, bark at it and fight with it...as my dog did and after 24 hours, he was over it and could care less.
AND (sorry so long winded but we adopted our dog and I just love him), I was ALWAYS afraid that our dog would tear to shreds any stuffed animals we got for our baby (because he tears his apart in 3 seconds, flat)...you know what, he knows that they are not his (must be the scent) and he has not ONCE in 2 yrs, destroyed her stuffed animals (now eating crayons is another story, lol).
Good luck.
Original poster, if you feel your dog is a threat to your child ABSOLUTELY, your child's safety comes first. That is without a question!
But again, if your dog's "only problem" - what you put in your post - is that he is "hyper" that can be worked with.
The simple fact that you are even considering this does in fact make you (and your husband) a "bad dog owner" - sorry you didn't get the responses you wanted to hear, but there is no excuse for trying to get rid of a dog just because you're having a kid
...and this is probably why they are best friends. That's how it is here, anyway.
OP, as you can see, this is a pretty hot topic around here, huh? I know I already posted, but cross the dumping the dog bridge when you get there. Like others said, you may be pleasantly surprised. We have some of the best pics of our baby with our dogs, especially when he came home from the hospital and they all met for the first time. I even started calling my one dog Mini-Mommy b/c she would follow me around and monitor what I was doing. It was very sweet.
Go Phils!!
As OP so nicely pointed out, her dog is not aggressive, just rambunctious and high energy (as a 1 year old dog is). If you can't handle 1 baby and 1 dog, how will you handle a toddler and a newborn?? That's the point.
I don't have a dog but I would say give the dog a chance. Read up on how to properly introduce and prepare it for welcoming a new person to the home and see how it goes. Your dog may adapt very well. Pets are very unpredictable as how they will react to a new member but they should be given a chance.Coming from someone that has had children and a pet...your pet will definitely change in your priority list but may be a pleasant part of your child's life. Good luck!
Brittney - I think you asked a fair question. I have a 3 year old Yellow Lab (female/rescue) who has been with us for more than a year and is our "1st baby". We knew we'd be TTC when we rescued her and have discussed some things that we'll have to be careful of when the baby arrives. I think YH is entitled to his opinion but don't be afraid to push him a little more on it. MH (who is a nervous-nelly) wants to buy a new dog bed for the nursery - I thought he wouldnt want the dog anywhere NEAR the baby, but I was wrong. I see visions of "Lady in the Tramp" going through his head... :-)
Good luck - I hope you get to keep your pup.