Would you be pissed?

Under.the.Rose · February 2011

If this happened to me, it would break my heart to miss such a big milestone. I'd also be upset that it happened before your doctor recommends it.

Shamlet123 · February 2011

I just don't understand why she would think that's ok. weird. I would be so hurt/pissed if my MIL decided on her own to do something like that without asking me first. I would have called DH and cursed him out.

torii · February 2011

JDO:
Yeah, I'd probably be pissed. But I doubt he meant to piss you off, and probably doesn't even realize he's done anything wrong, so I wouldn't be too hard on him.

This. My DH would probably do something like this and I'd be pissed even though I know he wouldn't mean to do it intentionally. Sometimes he doesn't understand how important seemingly little things are to us mommies.

Under.the.Rose · February 2011

tct1219:
i would be pissed for several reasons: i don't want my daughter to ever have rice cereal because it's not healthy, i don't want someone else to think it's appropriate to make decisions like that for my child [especially giving solids to a <6 month old], and, like you said, i would want to be the one to do it or be there when she ate something for the first time.

All of this. Plus the fact that she had to go out and buy the cereal beforehand.

KellyD01 · February 2011

Seriously pissed! First because bf'd babies shouldn't have solids prior to 6 months... and ESPECIALLY not w/o mom and/or dad's ok. and second... how freaking dare she do something on her own w/o consulting the parents. Major overstepping of boundries here.

mom2hay · February 2011

MAK06:
I would fly off the handle!!! Seriously livid for you after reading this!! I'm sorry this happened to you My BP is up just reading this lol. I want to find your MIL and slap her for ya

This! Anyone who has been a mother should know how important the firsts are.

renc9828 · February 2011

I would be beyond furious. That is very upsetting that they would not consider your feelings.

HisSunshine1220 · February 2011

I would be so pissed. (And not just because I hate my MIL) You or DH should have been consulted before such a huge decision was made, and something this big should have been done with you there. I am sorry you missed it.

Kitty1225 · February 2011

YES, I would. Maybe it doesnt seem like a big deal to your DH, but that is the first food on a spoon, I would be upset. Again, your DH (most men, lol) probably wouldnt realize it would be upsetting, but in my case, my MIL would keep saying how SHE gave the first food and it would piss me off.

you are not off base.

[Deleted User] · February 2011

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jamiemsmith · February 2011

Sorry if I got everyone all riled up before bed. I didn't mean to. I just didn't want to give out the verbal lashing if it was just me being sensitive.

On the Cereal premeditation thing, she had some at the house because we had tried some in his last bottle of the night before to see if it would help him sleep longer (didn't). She had cleared that attempt with me. I know she's from a generation who fed their babies cereals at an early age. I just don't want to do that, I'd like to skip cereal as much as I can and go straight to solids. I know once won't hurt him, I just don't appreciate missing it, and I don't appreciate her oversight of how I might feel about it. I really just wonder if she even asked DH before trying it.

thh · February 2011

I am confused -- was your DH there when she did it? If yes, I would be mad at DH, not MIL. If your DH wasn't there when she did it, I would be mad at MIL. Either way, sorry you had to miss that - very annoying.

snansley · February 2011

I would be annoyed, sure. But, your husband is also a parent here. He has a right to make these decisions too. Maybe he just wanted a picture, but he had been feeding LO as well. He may have also figured you were feeding cereal already so what harm would a spoon do? It sounds like he okayed MIL's behavior so I don't see how you can get mad at her. Just talk to him and get on the same page.

It is a still a "first" the first time you see LO do something.

veronicacorningstone · February 2011

I would be absolutely furious. She had no right to make a decision like that for you. It's over and done with, so I probably wouldn't fly off the handle on her, but I would politely tell her to please refrain from making decisions like that without consulting you. I'd also tell her that hurt my feelings that she took away one of his "firsts."

hodgie · February 2011

I'm late to the discussion...Just wondering if your MIL breastfed her kids? My MIL did not and always had a hard time believing that my DS's were satisfied because she couldn't quantify how much they were getting. She was convinced if the hands were in the mouth, they were hungry. But once they find those hands, they are in the mouth 24/7! Not exactly a good indicator! My MIL always wanted me to give them water, but fortunately never did it (that I know of) when I said they didn't need it. So, I can maybe see your MIL's (flawed) reasoning, but I'd still be really pissed and hurt to have missed out on this milestone.

[Deleted User] · February 2011

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kerribear1717 · February 2011

Seriously pissed! Why do people think BF babies aren't getting enough?? What the hell do they think people did before formula was invented?? I would definitely confront MIL over this. And print out this whole thread so she can really see a good perspective as well!

Leeghsy · February 2011

I'm gonna stick with the short answer and say "yes."

wife1014 · February 2011

Holy Sh!t...I would be livid. I would be angry with DH and definitely MIL. Ugh....

jamiemsmith · February 2011

hodgie:
I'm late to the discussion...Just wondering if your MIL breastfed her kids? My MIL did not and always had a hard time believing that my DS's were satisfied because she couldn't quantify how much they were getting. She was convinced if the hands were in the mouth, they were hungry. But once they find those hands, they are in the mouth 24/7! Not exactly a good indicator! My MIL always wanted me to give them water, but fortunately never did it (that I know of) when I said they didn't need it. So, I can maybe see your MIL's (flawed) reasoning, but I'd still be really pissed and hurt to have missed out on this milestone.

She exclusively BFed both of her boys. She also started Cereal around 3 months with both of them. She sincerely thinks he's not getting enough. Last time she came to visit she asked me when I was going to up his bottles from 6 to 7 oz. I told her that since I BF most of the time, and when I pump I only consistently get 6 oz per time, that he only needs about 6 oz.

From what DH said, she decided after his bottle to try some cereal (I wouldn't wait until he'd downed a bottle!). Then once they got started they woke DH from a nap to show him! So, in essence I don't think it was okayed by him, but it's his mom and she can do no wrong! We will be having a long convo when he gets home. It does make me feel better that DS was up every 2 hrs last night! Apparently he was really gassy, so I feel like DH got some punishment already!

JMama10 · February 2011

snansley:
I would be annoyed, sure. But, your husband is also a parent here. He has a right to make these decisions too. Maybe he just wanted a picture, but he had been feeding LO as well. He may have also figured you were feeding cereal already so what harm would a spoon do? It sounds like he okayed MIL's behavior so I don't see how you can get mad at her. Just talk to him and get on the same page.
It is a still a "first" the first time you see LO do something.

Huh?

snansley · February 2011

JMama10:
snansley:

I would be annoyed, sure. But, your husband is also a parent here. He has a right to make these decisions too. Maybe he just wanted a picture, but he had been feeding LO as well. He may have also figured you were feeding cereal already so what harm would a spoon do? It sounds like he okayed MIL's behavior so I don't see how you can get mad at her. Just talk to him and get on the same page.

It is a still a "first" the first time you see LO do something.

Wait, why am I getting eyerolled?

OP, ah, now you explained the timing. I thought DH knew about this and was cool with it in which case, I stand by my original post. But if she did this without checking first, I would be pissed.

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