Late period, Negative test:: Any thoughts??

ha.miller00 · February 2011

Hello everyone,

I know this gets asked a lot and I'm sorry for being such a cliche'! Anyway, long story very short:: I've had two Ectopic Pregnancies; January 2010 & September 2010, I also had a miscarriage in April 2010. I lost my left tube in surgery for the first Ectopic and the second one was treated with two doses of Methotrexate. My husband and I are now TTC again; as of January 1st, we figured what better way to start off the New Year & make 2011 MUCH better than 2010! My second to last period began on November 27th, then my next one didn't come until January 6th (it should have started December 25th). I took a test because I wanted to make sure I wasn't pregnant seeing as my period was so late. I have always had very regular 28 day cycles, but I'm positive the most recent Ectopic has a lot to do with this. My husband and I BD'd on January 18th and one other day during my most fertile time and then several times after that week. I had egg white cervical mucus on January 20th (I used this to determine ovulation in August and got pregnant!) My period was supposed to start today, February 3rd, but hasn't. I took two tests, one with FMU and the other around 8:30pm (I bought more tests and was too anxious) and they both came back negative. I have an appointment with my Ob-Gyn on Monday, but in the mean time I'd like to have some idea of whether or not I AM pregnant or if my cycle has just gone crazy! I've been feeling basically the exact same as I did with my last two pregnancies. I am peeing so much it's unreal, I've been completely exhausted, randomly nauseated & this is TMI, but I have been passing gas (.....not the silent ones, SORRY!) a lot this entire week. Now, I hate people passing gas all the time, so this is absolutely not me! I had the exact same thing happen with all three of my previous pregnancies.

Any insight would be extremely helpful and I would REALLY appreciate it!!

Thank you!!

ambs21 · February 2011

We can't tell you whether or not you're pregnant, but cycles can be weird for a while after a loss. Wait a couple days and test again. I got BFN the first day of my missed period then a BFP 2 days later with my last pregnancy. Unfortunately that ended in losing twins. Best of luck to you.

Having said that, this post is likely to get you the side eye (at the very least). Best not to come to a board for loss asking if you could be PG. You may want to read the blog, lurk a while and then introduce yourself. That is, of course, only if you're not pg. If you are, enjoy the lovely ladies on PGAL.

ha.miller00 · February 2011

I'm sorry, I thought this one was the TTC After Loss board? Believe me, I completely understand the pain/anger/plain annoyance of someone finding out they're pregnant and it's NOT you. It always seems to be those that aren't trying, don't even WANT kids, are druggies, teens etc. Sorry if I unintentionally upset anyone! I was under the impression the ladies on this board were trying to conceive as well. Thank you for your help.

Junebug060609 · February 2011

This question would probably be better received on PgAL.

I hope you get answers soon from your doctor or a HPT.

rvandiver0705 · February 2011

Check out the TTCAL blog. It is an AWESOME resource for trying to get pregnant, as well as a great snapshot at what this board's culture is.

People may be snarky about your post because the members of this board are actively trying to get pregnant. It can take a healthy couple up to a year to get pregnant at all, so "fishing" aka asking about your possible pregnancy symptoms will not go over so well.

If you aren't pregnant, I would suggest making an intro and getting to know the ladies here. If you are, come on over to PGAL. We would be a better resource to answer your pregnancy related questions, since it shouldn't hurt us as much.

ha.miller00 · February 2011

Thank you for being kind to me!

This is going to sound rude, but quite honestly you all just made me feel like a horrible person for actually thinking I might finally be pregnant after three losses in one year and almost dying twice. I think I damn well deserve this every bit as much as you all do. So please, don't talk to me like I am some naive teenager getting a BFP for the first time. And just so we're clear, I have NOT gotten a positive test--so there is absolutely no reason for anyone to continue to act like I am flaunting a test around you all. You are not the only ones going through an extremely painful and heartbreaking time here. Yes, I AM new here, but you all did nothing to make me feel welcome AT ALL. I haven't "lurked" around here in at least 6 months because I was trying to deal with my loss while still working full-time and going to school full-time.

ambs21 · February 2011

You're right, it does sound rude. I certainly didn't intend to talk down to you or make you feel unwelcome. You clearly needed to be informed of what is considered acceptable here, so I tried to help you out. We've responded with sincere answers to your question, although I'm not sure what you want from us... we can't see inside your ute to tell you whether or not you're pg. You would certainly be welcome here if you introduce yourself, get to know us and offer support. We all understand loss here. I'm sorry for what you've been through, and, I agree, you deserve a BFP, as do all the lovely ladies here. This is the most supportive and fiercely loyal group around. We know these types of posts tend to hurt some of the regulars here, and we want to protect each other. You're a stranger coming in announcing a POSSIBLE pg. Even those who are regulars and have offered much support don't do that. They do, however, get lots of congratulations here because we keep up with our own and check in on them. Sorry to be so harsh, but you might as well get honesty. If you don't get your BFP, you would STILL be welcome here, just introduce yourself. I hope you are able to move on to PGAL. Just because I point out that your post may be hurtful to some doesn't mean I don't wish you the best. Good luck to you.

hopefulelise · February 2011

Hmm Here we go again.

The ladies that responded to you have actually been quite nice to you in their response. This is always my same response when someone comes running into TTCAL throwing their possible pregnancy symptoms in our face...Would you run into a support group full of woman trying to get pregnant without so much as an introduction, and ask them the same question?

I'm sorry for your losses, But we don't know you since you've never made an introduction here before. People were simply telling you that there is a TTCAL blog for newcomers and to please read it. It's common courtesy. We are extremely protective of each other, and if you are going to be rude that will not be well received here.

emeraudecephiro · February 2011

If you are going to be rude, get out and DON'T come back.

If you are going to place nice...

Please read the TTCAL blog in my signature, apologize to us, and introduce yourself properly.

We can't tell you if you are pregnant or not, it is about as helpful as asking a magic eight ball. If you have enough sense to know it gets asked a lot...you MUST have seen the responses and know that it isn't taken lightly. Even if we are to be sugar sweet with you, no one but your doctor could tell you.

I've almost died, I've had three losses...does that give me a right to ask these ladies if I am pregnant? NO. I've been here for a long time and I still would never ask them that. There are ladies here who have losses that happened DAYS ago...you should know how that goes if you've lost...it's PAINFUL.

If you get a BFP...please announce of PGAL. Don't call us, we'll call you.

hopefulelise · February 2011

emeraudecephiro:
If you are going to be rude, get out and DON'T come back.
If you are going to place nice...
Please read the TTCAL blog in my signature, apologize to us, and introduce yourself properly.
We can't tell you if you are pregnant or not, it is about as helpful as asking a magic eight ball. If you have enough sense to know it gets asked a lot...you MUST have seen the responses and know that it isn't taken lightly. Even if we are to be sugar sweet with you, no one but your doctor could tell you.

I've almost died, I've had three losses...does that give me a right to ask these ladies if I am pregnant? NO. I've been here for a long time and I still would never ask them that. There are ladies here who have losses that happened DAYS ago...you should know how that goes if you've lost...it's PAINFUL.
If you get a BFP...please announce of PGAL. Don't call us, we'll call you.

Yes

nikki04vb · February 2011

We don't know you. Most ladies come in, introduce themselves and we go through this process together. You can't just waltz in and ask us if your pg and expect us to welcome you with open arms. It's like walking into a support group in the middle of a conversation and saying "hey, do you think I'm pg?" It's RUDE and INSENSITIVE and you should know that!

What you're doing is called phishing. You're coming in here hoping we'll all kiss your a** and give you our best wishes.... not gonna happen. If we knew who you were and you had asked it may have been received a little better.

And once you get flamed, I wouldn't recommend fueling the fire by throwing around insults.

thewayiam · February 2011

Wow, I thought everyone was answering her questions so nicely. Being helpful, wishing well, and being really nice.

OP, you are clearly upset, stressed, emotional from your loss, with every right to be, and likely quite hormonal. We're all unfortunately dealing with horrible stories; some women with loss after an eternity of trying, loss after various other reproductive problems, very late losses and children born sleeping, losses that have destroyed reproductive systems, women with horrifying birth stories and then loss, and children who passed away days after they were born. The people here know loss and pain. We're all angry, many of us bitter, sad, and lost.

We understand what you have gone through. And we willingly give love and support to strangers met on the internet who have gone through the same thing. So we understand.

But please understand that you have not offered support to any of the women on this board, or very few. You are actually a virtual stranger. The women who are regulars, well known and beloved on this board do not even post these sorts of phishing posts on TTCAL, so as not to upset others. If you've seen some recent posts congratulating graduates, it's because we stalk their charts and find out even before they announce on PgAL or month boards. If you see wishes for people who late in the 2WW it's because we have gotten to know them well, and hope and pray for their happy news.

So, good luck with your testing. I'd say if you're only a day late (or not even) then maybe you are just having a weird cycle. No one can tell you if you're pregnant, except a HPT test or bloodwork, and you know that. So asking a bunch of hurting women who are DYING for a BFP is pointless and basically just upsets us. Go to PgAL if you need people to advise you to take more tests, as they are ready to hear it. And please don't badmouth us there, as they won't take kindly to it either.

I hope this is your month. Good luck. But if it is, I have a hard enough time dealing with all of my friend/colleagues and relatives and their pregnancies IRL. I don't want to see it here.

Thank you.

EclairAngst · February 2011

Sorry for your losses. I can't even tell if I'M pregnant, let alone a stranger. Sorry.

butterfly843 · February 2011

OMG you are totally preggers according to my crystal ball, also women only get gas when they are preggo so it must be true.

TeamR&B · February 2011

ambs21:
You're right, it does sound rude. I certainly didn't intend to talk down to you or make you feel unwelcome. You clearly needed to be informed of what is considered acceptable here, so I tried to help you out. We've responded with sincere answers to your question, although I'm not sure what you want from us... we can't see inside your ute to tell you whether or not you're pg. You would certainly be welcome here if you introduce yourself, get to know us and offer support. We all understand loss here. I'm sorry for what you've been through, and, I agree, you deserve a BFP, as do all the lovely ladies here. This is the most supportive and fiercely loyal group around. We know these types of posts tend to hurt some of the regulars here, and we want to protect each other. You're a stranger coming in announcing a POSSIBLE pg. Even those who are regulars and have offered much support don't do that. They do, however, get lots of congratulations here because we keep up with our own and check in on them. Sorry to be so harsh, but you might as well get honesty. If you don't get your BFP, you would STILL be welcome here, just introduce yourself. I hope you are able to move on to PGAL. Just because I point out that your post may be hurtful to some doesn't mean I don't wish you the best. Good luck to you.

I don't know how to do the icons, but - Thumb's up to this!

OP - I normally don't weigh in on phishing or drive-by posts, but you were not flamed at all in the responses you've received. As a newbie, maybe you haven't been on long enough to see what flaming actually is, but as a fellow newbie & serial lurker, I think you received very nice responses considering that you basically came over here to tell us that you *think* you are pregnant, even though you got a BFN. No one spoke to you like a naive teenager... they just gave you honest feedback as to how your post would be received here and why you should post on PGAL instead. It just makes more sense to ask ladies who have suffered a loss and are now pregnant for insight on whether your symptoms mean that you might be pregnant.... Nonetheless, another HPT after a day or two would give you the best answer.

GL to you!

jen629 · February 2011

I have been here over a year..I won't even post a BFP here if I am ever lucky to get one..It is really hurtful with only 15 posts and not knowing who you are for you to post this here...I understand you did not say you were pregnant but I chart every month and sometimes my LP is 14 days and sometimes 17 so every month if I wasn't charting I could very well think I was pregnant..If you want to make an introduction and offer some SUPPORT to the ladies here they would gladly reciprocate but please don't come in here with a potential am I pregnant and expect people to not get hurt and upset thinking you may come tomorrow and post a BFP KWIM?

jerryliljess · February 2011

Are you kidding me OP? They weren't even harsh to you, and it could have gotten ugly. I agree with the PP saying that you should have lurked and seen that phishing and goats aren't treated very kindly here. I'm sorry for your loss but also have some common sense.

jld1687 · February 2011

nikki04vb:
We don't know you. Most ladies come in, introduce themselves and we go through this process together. You can't just waltz in and ask us if your pg and expect us to welcome you with open arms. It's like walking into a support group in the middle of a conversation and saying "hey, do you think I'm pg?" It's RUDE and INSENSITIVE and you should know that!

What you're doing is called phishing. You're coming in here hoping we'll all kiss your a** and give you our best wishes.... not gonna happen. If we knew who you were and you had asked it may have been received a little better.

And once you get flamed, I wouldn't recommend fueling the fire by throwing around insults.

well said Yes

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