Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Painful loss...

Hi everyone,

I've been a member for some time in anticipation of getting pregnant and starting our family. My DH and I have been together 12 years come this August. I have always wanted a family but due to the economy we were a little nervous to start trying.  I was so happy when we were steady and ready to start trying.

My pregnancy was confirmed on Dec. 20th (the Monday before Christmas).  I was told by the nurse not to make any big announcements at Christmas and to come back on the following Monday so that they could make sure everything was fine and growing as it should. 

Well Sunday after Christmas I started spotting very very lightly.  Still a little concerned, I called and left a message for the nurse at the doctors office even though I had my appointment the next day. Mother Nature decided to welcome the winter by throwing a blizzard our way that day and dupmed 30" of snow down and wasn't able to make my appointment.

That night I went to sleep and around 3:00 am started to have really bad cramping.  The bleeding started to get heavy.  I noticed that the cramping was almost predictable and was able to time the contractions.  By 6:00am they were every 10-15 minutes.  I tried to drive myself to the hospital and ended up waving down a police car to escort me to the ER. They put in me in an ambulance and by 11:00 a.m. it was confirmed as a miscarriage.  I was devistated!  I was approximately 11 weeks along.

My doctor kept putting off scheduling a D&C hoping that my body would pass the tissue naturally.  5 weeks later, nothing had passed and my cervix closed.  My D&C was scheduled last Friday.  I was cramping, but took Advil PM to help with the pain and to help me sleep.  I had slight spotting and then as of yesterday a very steady flow of bleeding.  I'm passing some clots but not many.

This was not at all how I planned on spending my Christmas / New Year.  I'm hoping that with the D&C behind me that I can heal quickly and start trying again.  I'm surrounded by groups of women who are pregnant and would love to be as well.

For anyone else reading this who has gone through the same thing, I am so sorry for your loss.  Unless you experience it first hand, I think it's hard to imagine what someone is going through at that time.  I've never been so sad, afraid, and disappointed at one time.

Thanks for letting me vent!

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Re: Painful loss...

  • I'm so sorry for your loss :( This is definitely something you don't understand unless you've gone through it.
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    4 losses: Natural m/c 8w 1/11, CP 12/11, CP 3/12, and our perfectly healthy baby girl Charlotte Grace, missed M/C 5/31/12 at 8w5d
    DX: Endo, heterozygous MTHFR, low progesterone
    Surprise unmedicated BFP 9/21/12!! Beta #1 9/22 (10 DPO) 46 Beta #2 9/24 (12 DPO) 226! Heartbeat 136 bpm at 7w! It's a BOY!  Theodore Joshua born 5/23/13 at 7:36am via c/s, 7lb13oz, 19.25in
    TTC#2 5/14, BFP 8/15/14!  Beta #1 16 (11 DPO), Beta #2 71 (14 DPO) Beta #3 164 (16 DPO) Beta #4 633 (21 DPO) Beta #5 1487 (23 DPO) Heartbeat 121 bpm at 6w6d!  EDD 4/25/15
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  • I am sorry for your loss...big hugs to you and T&P. I am going through it now and have a d&c scheduled for tomorrow. 
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    BFP #1 1/1/11 EDD 9/10/11 dx:no hb DNC on 2/2/11
    BFP #2 12/28/11 natural m/c on 2/6/12   BFP#3 2/16/13 dx:ectopic on 2/27 (given methotrexate) HSG 6/13-all clear BFP#4 11/18/13 natural m/c on 11/23  IVF #1 (Natural IVF Cycle) May 2014- Cycle failed (embryo did not make it to blast) BFP#5-7/26/14 GROW BABY GROW    IT'S A BOY DUE 4/5/15!

  • I am so sorry for your loss!  T&P for you and your family during this time.  
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Photobucket BabyFruit Ticker Blinkies, Glitter Graphics & more" BFP #1 12/26/06 DS born 08/08/07 BFP #2 12/16/10 EDD 08/23/11 Missed M/C ~7weeks D&C 02/04/11 BFP #3 3/11/11 4/1/10 heard HB 149!!! EDD is 11/17/11
  • I'm so sorry for your loss..I'm going thru my second m/c now and you are right, no one else quite understands
  • I am very sorry for your loss.
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  • I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.  I know how difficult it is when all of your friends are pregnant and you are dealing with grief.  I hope your recovery is quick.
    TTC since 2/2009
    11/2010 - Surprise BFP - m/c @ 16 weeks - dx Lupus Anticoagulant
    1/2012 - Clomid & IUI #4= BFP twins! On Lovenox - m/c @ 16 weeks

    9/2012 - Clomid & IUI #5= BFP! EDD 6/6/13

    I may have to wait....I'll never give up.
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  • Hi Denise,

    Sorry to hear that you're going through the same thing.  As I made plans for the day of the procedure, people said to me "good luck tomorrow."  I thought to myself, good luck?  Why wish me good luck on something like that?

    I don't think there is a proper phrase that can be said, but I'll be thinking about you tomorrow.

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  • imageiljennli:

    Hi Denise,

    Sorry to hear that you're going through the same thing.  As I made plans for the day of the procedure, people said to me "good luck tomorrow."  I thought to myself, good luck?  Why wish me good luck on something like that?

    I don't think there is a proper phrase that can be said, but I'll be thinking about you tomorrow.

     

    Thanks...T&P to you as well. 

    image

    BFP #1 1/1/11 EDD 9/10/11 dx:no hb DNC on 2/2/11
    BFP #2 12/28/11 natural m/c on 2/6/12   BFP#3 2/16/13 dx:ectopic on 2/27 (given methotrexate) HSG 6/13-all clear BFP#4 11/18/13 natural m/c on 11/23  IVF #1 (Natural IVF Cycle) May 2014- Cycle failed (embryo did not make it to blast) BFP#5-7/26/14 GROW BABY GROW    IT'S A BOY DUE 4/5/15!

  • I am sorry for your loss. I just went through my 2nd loss and it is devastating. I still haven't gotten to the point where I am starting to feel like myself. Take it one day at a time. This is a wonderful group of ladies.
    Lisa~ Married to Matt PCOS~ 2010, MTHFR & Factor V Leiden 10/2011 Loving Mother to 3 children and 13 angels in Heaven Baby #4 EDD 6/17/12~Became an angel 10/18/11 @ 6 weeks Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers My little one You have left us too soon Though my body can no longer hold you I hold you forever in my heart As precious and beautiful as this flower caught in time A mother's love does not forget
  • I am so sorry for your loss. 
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  • WOW!! that is all I can say.. Your story is so heartbreaking! I had a miscarriage in October. I found out I was pregnant and both me and my fiance were so excited!! Although it wasnt planned and it was before the wedding we were excited to become parents!

    A week later (the day before my doctors app) I noticed that I had very light spotting. I was scared although I had read that it could be normal. I still had a bad feeling so my fiance rushed me to the ER.. They did ran some tests and said that I was deffinatly pregnant, although they couldnt detect a heart beat.. They told me many things to why they couldnt see/hear the heart beat and not to worrie!! well the next day I went into see my doctor, and he also had bad news the baby had no heart beat.. He said that the fetus had died at 6 weeks and that I was 10 wks and 2 days pregnant that day.. He told me that the spotting was just the begining of the miscarriage.. Within 4 days I passed the tissue and the pain was horrible!! I had never thought it would have been like that..

    He told me that I should go through one pad every 30 minutes, and anything faster then that I needed to go in.. Well I was going through a pad every 3 minutes.. Once again I was rushed to the ER. The doctor did a sonogram and said that I had passed all the tissue, but that I started Hemorrhage. I was in the ER and had to stay on stand by for a blood transfushion!

    I also have so many pregnant friends that have been no help with my loss. I had a friend that told me "maybe something is wrong with you thats why you miscarried, I mean you and Kale have been together for 5 years and nothing has happend." She told me that a week after mt loss!! And a few days before that she told me she was pregnant with her second child.. She is not married and has only been with this new boyfriend for 2 months and is now pregnant.. That was the hardest part!!

    Emotionally I am still not healed and I still cry sometimes.. I never go to hold my baby or to feel it move. Yet there is people that are not in a relationship and just dont use their head and they get the gift of a baby!! I question that everyday day.. I just have to have faith that soon I will get my baby!!

    - Just remember, you may not have gotten this baby but as for the next children you do have they will always have an anjel watching over them!!

  • WOW!! that is all I can say.. Your story is so heartbreaking! I had a miscarriage in October. I found out I was pregnant and both me and my fiance were so excited!! Although it wasnt planned and it was before the wedding we were excited to become parents!

    A week later (the day before my doctors app) I noticed that I had very light spotting. I was scared although I had read that it could be normal. I still had a bad feeling so my fiance rushed me to the ER.. They did ran some tests and said that I was deffinatly pregnant, although they couldnt detect a heart beat.. They told me many things to why they couldnt see/hear the heart beat and not to worrie!! well the next day I went into see my doctor, and he also had bad news the baby had no heart beat.. He said that the fetus had died at 6 weeks and that I was 10 wks and 2 days pregnant that day.. He told me that the spotting was just the begining of the miscarriage.. Within 4 days I passed the tissue and the pain was horrible!! I had never thought it would have been like that..

    He told me that I should go through one pad every 30 minutes, and anything faster then that I needed to go in.. Well I was going through a pad every 3 minutes.. Once again I was rushed to the ER. The doctor did a sonogram and said that I had passed all the tissue, but that I started Hemorrhage. I was in the ER and had to stay on stand by for a blood transfushion!

    I also have so many pregnant friends that have been no help with my lose. I had a friend that told me "maybe something is wrong with you thats why you miscarried, I mean you and Kale have been together for 5 years and nothing has happend." She told me that a week after mt loss!! And a few days before that she told me she was pregnant with her second child.. She is not married and has only been with this new boyfriend for 2 months and is now pregnant.. That was the hardest part!!

    Emotionally I am still not healed and I still cry sometimes.. I never go to hold my baby or to feel it move. Yet there is people that are not in a relationship and just dont use their head and they get the gift of a baby!! I question that everyday day.. I just have to have faith that soon I will get my baby!!

    - Just remember, you may not have gotten this baby but as for the next children you do have they will always have an anjel watching over them!!

  • Sissy,

    I'm so sorry for your loss.  Your story is heartbreaking as well. 

    I question that all the time - why some and not me?  Why the ones who are not trying and not thinking about starting a family?  I still cry because I didn't get to share the news with my family the way that I had dreamed about. As for the crying, I have good days and bad days also.  Today I cried at work because once again I had to find out that someone else I know is pregnant.  I guess just like so many others, we have to take it one day at a time.

    Thank you for the thought of the angel watching over our children and for sharing your story with me.

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  •  
    Its very hard, Im almost scared to try again because of how bad my first one was!! I just pray everyday that it does not happend again!! Things happen for a reason is what everyone seems to like to tell me and but what was the REASON for MY LOOS or for yours? VERY VERY hard!!! Im glad to know that Im not the only one thats on an emotional roller coaster!!!
     
     
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