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Baby Showers
Kissimi21
member
I don't want to go to my own shower... rant
Kissimi21
member
in Baby Showers
My mother and sister are throwing me a shower at a friend's house (she's like an aunt to me) but with all the drama and bull going on, I don't want to go.
First, they haven't sent out a single invite (the shower's on the 26th) and people keep asking me why not. I'm not the hostess, I don't know why they haven't sent them out. Please ask them! Oh, and half the women she invited aren't my friends, they're her friends. I literally have met two of them once!
Then an "old friend" of mine has been going around bad mouthing me to random people she's just met. I found this out because one of the random people she's been whining to is the daughter of one of my good friends. To top it off, the reason she's running her mouth... I won't give her mother a horse. 1) My horses start at $5000 for newborns and far more important 2) her mother is on 3 different anti-psychotic medications and keeps trying to bring her livestock into her house! Sorry for being responsible for the animals in my care. I uninvited her myself, which my mother is totally unhappy about.
Today, I called my friend (the one whose house the shower's at) to pass on a message from my mother about the horses water trough being empty. Her husband proceeds to give me hell because who ever used the hose last didn't put it away right. I wasn't there but for some reason I'm the one responsible for his bad day. After hearing him complain for 15 minutes about a stupid hose, I was done.
I am out of patience. I am done with all of it. I called my mother and told her that she can pass on her own messages from now on and that I am not in the mood for a shower surrounded by strangers, drama and backstabbing. She proceeded to tell me that I'm over reacting and that she isn't canceling the shower.
I have a good mind to call my friends and people I asked to have invited and let them know that I won't be going. Seriously, am I just being crazy hormonal or does this sound like a lot of garbage to be putting up with for nothing?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I don't want to go to my own shower... rant
I am having a hard time tying the horse drama into the shower drama.
Why does your mother know about the horses' water trough being empty at your friend's house? Why didn't your mother call her directly? Or better yet, call ACO since by law, you are required to ensure your animals have fresh water at all times.
Yes, calling your friends and saying you aren't coming to your shower is hormonal and crazy. Calm down. It sounds like you are getting way more worked up than necessary.
You should talk to your old friend about why she is bad mouthing you, confront her, ask her to stop. If she does not, then cut your losses. It's not worth getting all worked up over.
I'm really confused, but calm down some. I know you're probably pissed off & worked up, but try to relax. Sounds like there is a lot of non-shower specific drama going on. Best to keep in mind that as annoyed as you might be, they're going to the trouble and expense of throwing you a shower- they don't have to.
The only piece of advice I can give is this: you shouldn't be pissy about your mom/sister's friends wanting to come give you gifts. I understand the frustration that it won't be just your close-knit friends, but remember, the shower is meant to shower you with gifts for your new arrival (which their friends might be excited about too for all you know!). Unless they show up empty-handed, it's hard to find fault with that.
www.cozylittlecave.com
Yeah, I'm a little confused too. But my thoughts.
1- if the invitations get out by this weekend, it will be fine. 3 weeks for a shower is plenty of notice.
2- I do understand the uninviting your "old friend". that part of the horse drama I get because it's her attitude about the horses that's leading her to badmouthing you, which is leading to you not wanting to be friends with her. I woudlnt' want her at my shower either.
3- I do also understand being frustrated at who is being invited. I have NEVER understood why people invite strangers to someone's shower. The shower is about YOU, not your hosts friends. I would feel really weird to be invited to a shower for someone I dont' know.
Past that, though.... that's when you lost me.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
To try to simplify things, the person who owns the stable is the same person whose house the shower is supposed to be held at. Her husband forgot to fill the trough yesterday morning, so when my mother who also has horses stabled there seen it, she filled it. The people who own the stable weren't there and she had forgotten to leave a note on the message board, so she asked me to give them a call (it's long distance for her, not for me). So I called thinking I was going to be leaving a simple message and got my head bit off for it. I've been there for years and don't feel that I desreve to be spoken to like I'm an idiot because he can't accept that he made a mistake.
As far as my mother inviting more of her friends than mine goes, I specifically only asked for my close friends to be there. I find inviting everyone and their dog to be gift-grabby and makes things impersonal. I didn't invite some of my old friends from university because we only talk over Facebook every couple of weeks but she invited her former hairdresser. See why this is starting to bug me?
The woman who bad mouthed me has been told that she is no longer welcome at the shower and why. I don't believe in fake-friends and I'm not a hypocrite. I am not the type of person who will pretend everything's fine and then bad mouth her later. (Everything I've said on here, I said to her face.) I have plenty of people in my life who aren't two-faced, so no, I'm not going to suck it up for appearances sake. There was no good reason for her to be talking trash about me to someone she thought was a random stranger. It wasn't even like she was being vague about who she was talking about, she used my name, my horses names and the name of the stable I'm at. And it wasn't like I totally refused to help her. I gave her the name and number of three reputable horse rescues where she could have adopted a horse that needs a home rather than throw a fit because I wouldn't give her mother a horse that would not be suitable for her to handle anyway.
It's the accumilation of all this plus dozens of other little things that have me at wits end. I don't want a shower for receiving gifts. I have already bought my son pretty much every
To try to simplify things, the person who owns the stable is the same person whose house the shower is supposed to be held at. Her husband forgot to fill the trough yesterday morning, so when my mother who also has horses stabled there seen it, she filled it. The people who own the stable weren't there and she had forgotten to leave a note on the message board, so she asked me to give them a call (it's long distance for her, not for me). So I called thinking I was going to be leaving a simple message and got my head bit off for it. I've been there for years and don't feel that I desreve to be spoken to like I'm an idiot because he can't accept that he made a mistake.
As far as my mother inviting more of her friends than mine goes, I specifically only asked for my close friends to be there. I find inviting everyone and their dog to be gift-grabby and makes things impersonal. I didn't invite some of my old friends from university because we only talk over Facebook every couple of weeks but she invited her former hairdresser. See why this is starting to bug me?
The woman who bad mouthed me has been told that she is no longer welcome at the shower and why. I don't believe in fake-friends and I'm not a hypocrite. I am not the type of person who will pretend everything's fine and then bad mouth her later. (Everything I've said on here, I said to her face.) I have plenty of people in my life who aren't two-faced, so no, I'm not going to suck it up for appearances sake. There was no good reason for her to be talking trash about me to someone she thought was a random stranger. It wasn't even like she was being vague about who she was talking about, she used my name, my horses names and the name of the stable I'm at. And it wasn't like I totally refused to help her. I gave her the name and number of three reputable horse rescues where she could have adopted a horse that needs a home rather than throw a fit because I wouldn't give her mother a horse that would not be suitable for her to handle anyway.
It's the accumilation of all this plus dozens of other little things that have me at wits end. I don't want a shower for receiving gifts. I have already bought my son pretty much everything he will need for the first 6-9 months. I was excited at first because I wanted my shower to be a happy little gathering of women where we can catch up, share baby related experiences and celebrate my baby's upcoming birth.