Hardest thing you've ever done?

MayDayGirl · January 2011

Probably supporting my husband through residency (and med school, but residency is way worse) and doing foster care, then losing kids through foster care.

DavezWife · January 2011

MrsRyan61804:

I have nothing to add to this post compared to what you ladies have been through. IF was the hardest thing for me.

We all have our mountains. Mine's no bigger or harder to climb than yours, Just different ;-)

DavezWife · January 2011

Happycouple:

Well, going through IF and parenting really IS the hardest thing I have ever gone through....

I'll buy what you're sellin'. My pregnancy losses FAR outweigh the crap I delt with when it came to my brace/scoli/surgery. Almost (almost) like my teen trials prepared me for this stuff, I dunno.

(I didn't mean to dismiss our IF stuff, it's just a given that for most of us on this board, it's our toughest battle. It SUCKS to see so many of us were given double doses!)

Waiting4baby08 · January 2011

Child related - Giving birth to a dead baby.

Non child related - Living with a very verbally abusive step-father. I NEVER wanted to be home when I was growing up and comtemplated suicide a few times. I remember it being my goal to someday WANT to go home. And every night after work as I drive home I think about how different it is to not be scared to go home. Now I LOVE being home.

mel72 · January 2011

The day we found out DH has MS : ( Each week when I ram that needle in his thigh it gets harder, knowing that it makes him feel like sh*t, and knowing that if we don't do it, the consequences could be even worse, also knowing that even though we do it the future is still filled with absolute uncertainty.

Temp848906437505510 · January 2011

You are some of the strongest women I've ever "known". Wow, just wow.....

I don't think mine compares, but, getting the call that my 5th IVF failed while sitting in the ICU waiting room 3 days after my husband had a heart attack was just horrible. I was standing by the window and, for only a second, thought about what would happen if I just threw myself through the window. It just felt like too much....

nicole&carl · January 2011

move 2000 miles away from my family and friends. I can't see anything so far being harder than that. It's still hard living so far away from my parents and sister, especially with having the first grandchild and question us moving back sometimes still after 4 years.

leslies75 · January 2011

I am in awe of your strength, girls. Thank you for sharing your stories.

For me, the hardest thing was struggling with depression in my first year of working life out of college. I was so overwhelmed and couldn't figure out why I was crying all the time. Getting help was a major struggle for me, as I couldn't admit that I was "failing" in life. I was always the one who had it all together, and the feelings I was having just made no sense to me.

TheSkimmy · January 2011

Getting the phone call that my mom had breast cancer and then getting mono right after. I couldn't be around her very much as I was contagtious and didn't want her getting sick while she went through chemo and radiation. I had to drop a class in college because it was too much for me. My mom is a survivor but it was a long hard road.

My dad is also on his 2nd round of cancer but the survival rate is much higher for what he has.

Holding my grandma's hand when she was passing- listening to her only taking 1 breath every 1.5 minutes. She passed away the day after I left to go back home.

My parents divorce and dealing with my mom being extremely poor. Food stamps were the next step.

schmoodle · January 2011

irishdo:
Schmoodle: I think we may live parallel lives. The obesity, the weight loss, the disordered eating

Its child related but the hardest thing was handing Nessa over after she passed away. I was the one who declared her. I am not sure why it was important to me to do so but it was. Also now I feel like I am constantly waiting for the other to drop with regards to Finn and his brain bleed. Will he have CP, how bad, etc. It is hard for me to just enjoy him.

I wish we didn't live as parallel lives regarding your second. I didn't mention anything related to the Doodles partially in following "the rules" but partly because when pregnant it's VERY hard for me to recall their labor and birth and the details following, but obviously that so overshadows the food stuff it isn't even funny. I'm still so sorry about your Nessa and I can't imagine the anxiety over Finn. Big hugs to you, lady.

(And to everyone else here too, obviously - amazing bunch of women is right - I can't even address each of these because I can't give justice to the weight of all your lives and what you've been through).

desabean · January 2011

Wow. You all continue to amaze me on a daily basis. I'm so inspired by your strength.

I don't really have anything. To a non-if'er I would say that IF has been the hardest thing I've ever endured, like Davez said, we all know that drill.

I grew up with a mom who suffered from Bi-polar (undiagnosed) and a Dad who drank too much, ultimately resulting in a temultuous (sp?) divorce and there were definitely some tough things associated with that. I also had post college depression but nothing like what you all have endured.

KYRN · January 2011

My DH being sick last summer. At some points I actually thought he was going to die. At his post-op with his surgeon (who removed his colon) kept saying "I'm not sure you realize just how sick you were when you were first transferred to me" (he was talking to both of us), I just wanted to say "yeah, I did, that's why I sat at his bedside nearly everyday for about 3 weeks and barely saw my son". I'm not a cryer, and managed to keep it together most of the time, but I could really only cry when I was alone in the room with DH, which was basically like being alone b/c he wasn't really conscious.

He had a lot of complications (heart arrhythmia found just before surgery that later required an ablation, PE and 2 DVT's after surgery, bowel obstruction, abscess that required a drain placed into his abdomen). And now he's living with an ileostomy until his next 2 surgeries.

I've also been dealing with my brother being addicted to oxyconton for the last 11 years.

BeccaLandes · January 2011

I just want to say that I am so impressed with what all you women have come through in life.

I always felt like I was the luckiest woman in the world up until IF. But, as a teenager I had a tough time as the only Jewish girl in my grade at school. I got teased all the time for the way that I looked, and "reminded" regularly that I was going to he!l. I had some good friends, but always felt that I was a little bit alone, and that I would never have a boyfriend.

But, frankly, this is NOTHING compared to what you all have been through.

sasa625 · January 2011

Watch my mom die... calling family members to return to the hospital, watching nurses run ivs of blood to transfuse, hearing "STAT, STAT" along with the beeping of the machines in her room in the ICU. Hearing the doctors ask us how far we wanted to go to save her and in the next breath tell us "they're doing cpr right now." Seeing her nurses in tears when they knew it was over, and seeing my step-dad walking down the hall, shaking his head. Coming home to her house, knowing she wouldn't be there and we'd never laugh together again.

I hope nothing ever tops that for me.

Christakim · January 2011

Saying goodbye to my grandmother. That really sucked.

sweetpea18 · January 2011

Watching my mom deal with having ms. She was depressed for a long time about it, but didn't want to admit it. (thankfully, she's being treated now!) It's sad for me to watch her want to do everything that she used to do, but she is limited by her disease. The worst was probably the day that we spent learning how to give her injections and after the nurse left the lawyer came. I had to sign paperwork to be her power of attorny and watch her sign her living will. No 22 year old should have to think about that stuff.

mmcarlson1 · January 2011

I have two:

1. Attending the funeral of my father who committed suicide when I was 11. He wasn't in my life much until I was 9. I only knew him for 2 years and was starting to get used to being with him a lot more.

2. Being in the room when my grandma took her last breaths. She was diagnosed with lung cancer, had a stroke and passed away all within a 3.5 week period. Very rough time for my family.

mechanicsgirl · January 2011

When I was 14, my (very first) boyfriend who I was "in love with" raped me. It was my first sexual experience, and I still have nightmares to this day. It was followed by close to a year of emotional/sexual abuse, culminating in a physical attack when I finally got up the courage to dump him, then months of teasing, taunting, and turning my friends against me in school. I still constantly look over my shoulder when I'm out and can't really take my kids out alone without having close to a panic attack, thinking something awful will happen.

I've been in counseling for close to 10 years now and I'm still a mess. I was so young and my trust in people was broken so deeply, I'm still recovering.

JessandJeremy · January 2011

Your story sounds close to mine....((Hugs)))

njdcgirl · January 2011

Wow. I wish I could just ((HUG)) each of you all. What amazingly strong women you all are. I'm sorry for all that you've endured, and to add IF, losses, and parenting on top of it. Just wow.

Honestly, until I suffered from IF, my life was pretty blessed. My biggest struggles have always been around my weight, and hoping that I'd find love and someone to share my life with.

One of my hardest moments was admitting to my DH that I needed counseling while dealing with IF. He had to make the appointment. There's no way I could have made the call. Sounds so lame, especially since I've always encouraged others to talk to someone when they were feeling lost or depressed. Best thing I ever did, and I think what I gained during my IF through therapy helped me get through Andrew's early birth and the NICU rollercoaster so much better.

skoorbnibor · January 2011

I am breaking your rule. This isnt IF related and isnt normally childbirth related.

But not freaking out and losing it during my hellish csection is most certainly the hardest thing I have ever done. As soon as I realized that my anesthesia wasnt working, my blood pressure spiked and the OB talked to me and gave me only a few minutes to get myself calm, or she was going to put me under. I didnt want that, so I needed to deal with the (incredibly excruciating and terrifying) pain, fear and panic, and get under control.

My heart starts to pound about it even now, though. But it was most definitely one of the most difficult things I ever did

Cassian · January 2011

Surviving a suicide attempt as a teen. I struggled with bi-polar disorder and anxiety attacks for years and was in and out of psychiatric hospitals for a year and a half.

Getting my drain put in from fluid buildup due to OHSS without any sort of anesthesia. I couldn't breathe very well and was done on an emergency basis.

dusk42 · January 2011

Getting help for depression at the end of grad school/getting through the last 2 years of school (1 untreated/1 treated). I still regret missing all the excitement of planning our wedding/getting married - it was just a long list of chores.

Getting help for PPD after DD was born (4 months pp). I REALLY regret not getting help while I was pregnant and unable to get anything done (like her room that we didn't finish until she was 3 months old). I just couldn't get out of bed, and I wrote it off to being tired and pregnant because I was so afraid my depression was back.

Seeing my parents face-to-face next weekend after a huge blowup at Christmas when I just decided to stop letting them ruin my time with my own family (DH and DD). Luckily, the counseling from my run-in with PPD has helped immensely.

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