Hardest thing you've ever done?

DavezWife · January 2011

(I'm bored and don't wanna clean...)

And just to mix it up a lil... you CANNOT put down anything that deals with infertility or having kids. That's kinda a given around here.

aaannnnnd go!

PsychedForBaby · January 2011

Pack up and move 1200 miles from family. Actually more like deciding to do it and then taking action and doing it. Our house selling in less than three-weeks was one of the biggest signs that what we were doing was the right thing.

Crazy? I know!

Mrs.Reem · January 2011

Ask me in about 10 mos. Wink

I'd say parenting is the hardest thing I've done. I like facts and figures, but parenting is not absolute so I'm always hoping that I'm doing the right thing. That and when my kids hurt/are sick, I hurt for them.

ETA: and then I re-read to see you said no parenting. lol! Well then... probably seeing my little sister (8 years younger) make bad decision after bad decision and just generally not get on her feet like a 24 year old should be able to. My hands are tied because she doesn't value my opinion, or if she does, it doesn't show. I'm very responsible and she's very immature so our minds don't meet in the middle.

Really I have had an amazing life. Not a lot of hardship overall.

JustaKidAtHeart · January 2011

Burying my father at age 12. Watching my mom lose it and be investigated for his murder because my dad hung himself in the garage. Then dealing with friends that didnt understand and living in the house another 8+ years.

DavezWife · January 2011

wearing a brace for scoliosis, 23 hrs a day, from age 10-17. Then despite it "working great" I needed thoracic fusion as an adult. (the pain/rehab was epic)

(brace was a lot like this random pik:)

The brace itself wasn't THAT big of a deal. Trying to understand the world around me in it, and DEAL with it, was.

.

Temp159135562506975 · January 2011

dumping my boyfriend of 7 years, leaving my teaching job and moving across the country back to my home state.... changing careers in the process - an entire life change. It was hard, but was the best thing I ever did and got me to where i am today.

smilee · January 2011

Bury my mom.

amberleeb · January 2011

Packing up and moving from Minnesota where all my family and friends are and selling my house to be with DH when he joined the Airforce after grad School. 3 1/2 years down only 6 more months then we get to move home to Minnesota!!!

howleyshell · January 2011

Dealing with the death of my boyfriend at 24.

He left my house, fell asleep at the wheel (no booze involved thank GOD) and died.

The guilt was unreal.

The grief was almost insurmountable.

howleyshell · January 2011

DavezWife:
wearing a brace for scoliosis, 23 hrs a day, from age 10-17. Then despite it "working great" I needed thoracic fusion as an adult. (the pain/rehab was epic)
(brace was a lot like this random pik:)
The brace itself wasn't THAT big of a deal. Trying to understand the world around me in it, and DEAL with it, was.
.

WOW T.

Those are HARD years when you're not dealing with something like that.

You're one tough cookie.

But wait.... we already knew that about you!

JessandJeremy · January 2011

Have a normal relationship.

My first sex experience was when I was 17 and date raped by my boyfriend at the time. I had trust issues for a loooong ass time and am so thankful for my DH sticking with me to help me through them. It was literally a ten year process with lots of counseling to work through everything.

yankee42 · January 2011

Taking care of my mom as she was dying.... Actually that in and of itself was not hard, it was a very natural thing to do... Letting go of her, and admitting she was leaving me, and holding her hand and saying goodbye... That was the toughest thing I have ever done.

DavezWife · January 2011

yankee42:
Taking care of my mom as she was dying.... Actually that in and of itself was not hard, it was a very natural thing to do... Letting go of her, and admitting she was leaving me, and holding her hand and saying goodbye... That was the toughest thing I have ever done.

Yankee, I've been thinking about you guys all day ;-( I can't even imagine the flood of emotions, then and now.

caityr · January 2011

Getting much needed marital counseling and building a great kid ready marriage.

Dealing with my husbands family which continues to be the toughest thing in my life.

browneyedgrl4282 · January 2011

I can't really decide which of the three things I dealt with was worse but here I go

When I was 18, my father was very ill and had 3 open heart surgeries and spinal surgery all within 5 months. Dr Oz (yes the famous Dr Oz) thought my father was going to die on the table but promised to do everything to save. After a long 10 months in the hospital, my father came home but 2 month later my brother was killed in car accident. Both of my grandmothers died during this time period as well. My sisters werew 11 and 13. My mother was torn between being with my father and her mother. So between my mother and I we went back and forth everyday to NYC and NJ to stay with ill family members and one of us had to be around for my sisters. I was also in my freshman year of school.

Almost 2 years later, I was in pretty bad car accident and it took a lot of PT and suffereing to come through. I think the hardest part about it was I can't really call this an accident, I was hit by a drunk driver who was coming on to a ramp the wrong way, she not only hit me head on but she swung around and hit in the side. I was trapped in the car, screaming in pain. I was a scaried 20 year old who had buried her brother 2 years prior in car accident. They couldn't get me out of the car and had to use the jaws of life to remove me. I know have permanent damage from this and THIS is why I was unable to be awake for the birth of my children.

dana316 · January 2011

-Dealing with my alcoholic father, and the ramifications of knowing that alcoholism is a disease that every man on that side of the family deals with...and watching and praying that my brother doesn't go down that same path. Also knowing that I like alcohol more than I should...so I don't drink.

-Admitting to myself that I'm addicted to food/binge eating, and fighting that addiction...and being terrified of passing these addictions (food and alcohol) down to my children.

kimarino13 · January 2011

Dealing with a (very close) family member who was addicted to drugs.

browneyedgrl4282 · January 2011

I didn't mention the third thing because I have hard time going back to it but I will say it.

I spent a big portion of my high school years in and out of the hospital. Bulimia took over my life and everything I did revolved around it.

TwoStrong · January 2011

Ladies--I am crying after reading your experiences. You are all very strong women.

The hardest days in my life aside from IF or a few deaths in my family have been when I had to attend funerals of over 9 of my students in an 8 year period. One student was autistic and I had a good relationship with him and I actually said that I thought he would kill himself and he did.

I am always sad that I didn't do more about this. I know that my power is limited but it haunts me just the same.

nicolita14w · January 2011

Overcoming depression.

roaringrock · January 2011

the hardest thing? watching both my parents (and stepdad) suffer TERRIBLY with cancer and then having to move on after their deaths. my mom's death was particularly profound and I ended up walking away from a VERY lucrative partner position (in a company that I helped build from nothing.) that was hard too.

then... I chose to separate from dh. still working on this one.

Smudges*Mom · January 2011

The most difficult thing I've ever done. . . Get the right diagnosis for my condition. I was improperly treated for depression for nearly a decade before being properly diagnosed with ADHD. I spent nearly ten years living half a life. I was always overwhelmed, behind on my bills and my apartment was always a disaster zone. Getting to work on time was a monumental task. Staying on task once I got there??? Yah right.

I was finally properly diagnosed after I reached a breaking point. I called my mom from work, bawling. My parents had just moved to FL. My mom got on a plane that afternoon and then spent the next week getting me in to see a new psychiatrist and cleaning & organizing my apartment. Once properly medicated, I went from being close to being fired at work to being one of the top performers in my department. I was able to relax and have a life. I just wish that it hadn't taken so long to get the right diagnosis. I spent years going to various psychiatrists for med management, more therapists than I can remember. . . . But, it was my path and I am where I am supposed to be.

The second most difficult thing is baby related--making it through DH's deployment after the horrible birth experience and severe PPD.

DavezWife · January 2011

holychitonashingle, we are one tough bunch of broads, het het.

Now put the IF struggles back in..... kinda unreal, huh?

(and head's up Browniegirl, I'm comin' in for a ((((hugz))))) ;-) )

schmoodle · January 2011

Lost weight, and then decided to stop.

I was morbidly obese until I was about 19years old and was just so depressed (literally had never had any guy show an iota of interest in me, thought I was going to die fat and alone, had very few friends and felt like an outcast after going away to college) so I started dieting. I lost over 100 lbs in about a year and a half and it was not easy - but I also developed pretty disordered eating (I don't say official eating disorder because I was still, even at my lightest, fairly overweight so I don't think I "qualify" but Davez, I'm sure you can correct me if I'm wrong). We're talking 90 minutes of working out a day to thepoint I developed exercise induced asthma (including choosing exercise over sleep after pulling all nighters in college) choosing what to eat based on how much it literally weighed in my hand, chewing food and spitting it out - I would often go down to 800 cals a day if I felt like I was gaining or not losing enough.

So...the loss was hard. But I think it was harder to get back to being a normal person. That didn't happen until I met DH and finally felt ok with myself, and I first gained back about 40 lbs, then eventually was able to diet/exercise again without it consuming me and get to a healthier weight (still fat but not dangeroulsy so) without endangering myself. I still have to be very careful about weight loss though to avoid unhealthy habits because it's very easy for me to slip back into obsession and I can't deny that I still feel a sense of "pride" if I don't eat enough in a given day.

browneyedgrl4282 · January 2011

DavezWife:

holychitonashingle, we are one tough bunch of broads, het het.

Now put the IF struggles back in..... kinda unreal, huh?

(and head's up Browniegirl, I'm comin' in for a ((((hugz))))) ;-) )

Those two year in out of the hospital were like a fog almost! One point I had one of nurses said to me you are slowly and painfully killing yourself. It didn't sink it! I think when I opened my eyes up was when a girl I spent a huge time in the hospital was found dead by her little sister.

WHen I was in the the middle of IF $hit I asked my RE if it was my fault because of the bulimia. He told me it wasn't, I still am not sure if I believe him!

browneyedgrl4282 · January 2011

schmoodle:

100 lbs in about a year and a half and it was not easy - but I also developed pretty disordered eating (I don't say official eating disorder because I was still, even at my lightest, fairly overweight so I don't think I "qualify" but Davez, I'm sure you can correct me if I'm wrong). We're talking 90 minutes of working out a day to thepoint I developed exercise induced asthma (including choosing exercise over sleep after pulling all nighters in college) choosing what to eat based on how much it literally weighed in my hand, chewing food and spitting it out - I would often go down to 800 cals a day if I felt like I was gaining or not losing enough.

A therapist would say that is a form of bulimia. I can tell you from my long stay at three different hospitals some patients were 60lbs and there were 300lbs plus ladies there as well. For some reason everyone things people with Eating Disorders are stick thin, they are not always the case. I went from 145lbs to 90lbs in less 3 months

ALY1981 · January 2011

smilee:
Bury my mom.

This. Hardest day of my life.

((((HUGS))))) Smilee.

tina623 · January 2011

I had to make a choice between my boyfriend (he didn't want to continue a long distance relationship) or my grandpa. My grandpa didn't want me to stay, he wanted me to start my own life and have a chance at happiness so I said goodbye to my Grandpa and moved 1100 miles to NJ knowing that I'd never see him again. He died 2 weeks later from cancer.

trilady2 · January 2011

Burying my boyfriend and best friend at 18.

Trying to overcome anorexia alone.

Burying my boyfriend def. wins my "hardest" prize. I still mourn him to this day.

dundasgirl · January 2011

yankee42:
Taking care of my mom as she was dying.... Actually that in and of itself was not hard, it was a very natural thing to do... Letting go of her, and admitting she was leaving me, and holding her hand and saying goodbye... That was the toughest thing I have ever done.

I think I couldn't have said it any better than this. My Dad died a few years before my Mom and that was tough...but my mom's death is still very fresh.

Also my Dad was a closet alcoholic and the family dynamic of that messed me up...I moved across the country at 18 to get away.

MrsRyan61804 · January 2011

You are an amazing bunch of ladies, I admire each and everyone of you!

I have nothing to add to this post compared to what you ladies have been through. IF was the hardest thing for me.

oct11bride03 · January 2011

I feel like my hardest thing pales in comparison to what the rest of you have gone through.

The hardest thing I've ever done was overcome severe PPD. The 3 months after K was born were the worst of my life. I literally couldn't get out of bed. I was unable to bond with the baby I'd wanted so much and worked so hard for. My marriage suffered tremendously because my husband (along with our families) had to not only take care of a newborn, but help me recover. At the time I honestly couldn't imagine ever feeling normal again. It was horrible.

jenn2929 · January 2011

My contact just popped out from crying. You are all incredibly strong and wonderful women! It is truly amazing reading all of these stories.

I have two -

1. - dealing with bulimia off and on for over fifteen years. I just learned the other day in therapy that it is a dissociative disorder and the reason I developed it...

2. my mom is a manic depressive and during winter break in college junior year I visited her every day in a mental hospital. I think the hardest of everything was her coming home from the hospital too early and one night she asked me to leave the house so she could kill herself. No 19 year old (let me rephrase that - NO ONE) should ever hear a parent ask that of their child.

irishdo · January 2011

Schmoodle: I think we may live parallel lives. The obesity, the weight loss, the disordered eating

Its child related but the hardest thing was handing Nessa over after she passed away. I was the one who declared her. I am not sure why it was important to me to do so but it was. Also now I feel like I am constantly waiting for the other to drop with regards to Finn and his brain bleed. Will he have CP, how bad, etc. It is hard for me to just enjoy him.

Not child related...my freshman year of college my dad had a stroke and a heart attack with a week of each other, and my parents went bankrupt and lost the house from medical expenses. I was unhappy at my school, trying to fit in with people I did not,and yet unsure about my fathers health and whether I would be able to continue my education due to finances.

Happycouple · January 2011

Well, going through IF and parenting really IS the hardest thing I have ever gone through....

LisaandBryan · January 2011

Wow some of you have been through a lot....

Well it is child related but the hardest by far is when Dylan was really sick in the NICU. I remember driving to the hospital with my mom after he had a horrible night (had to be recesitated) and I just lost it hysterically with my mom saying I knew he was going to die and how if he did I want to die too. There was a time I really believed he wasn't coming home. Also almost as difficult were his medical issues when he came -when he developed the weird seizures and we thought it was infanitle spasms. (very serious)

I look at him at every and still can't believe what he overcame. He is truly a miracle.

gabbeyh · January 2011

Realizing and getting out of an abusive relationship. I had a boyfriend in college for years that would call me names, hit me, force sex, etc...but I stayed, and when I did leave, I came back. I thought it was how relationships should be. I had dated someone prior to him that was fabulous to me, and I got my heart broken. I thought this way I wouldn't get hurt. It took another guy to get me into therapy and realize that I had developed a severe anxiety disorder and ultimately walk away. Not that my relationship with him was healthy either...we spent the next year being "bed buddies".

Finding out that I have Hep C, and that my heart isn't really cured. It took IF for me to find this out. I have transposition of the great arteries (TGA) and thought I was fixed for years. It took some research but I realized that isn't the case and the bottom could fall out at anytime. I also found out that I had contracted Hep C from a blood transfusion in 1981. Now being pregnant again, my anxiety is THROUGH THE ROOF. I really need to get back into therapy or up my meds.

Mouseygail · January 2011

Wow, you are all amazing women! My heart goes out to you all! The hardest thing I've dealt with was my brother dying of cancer complications very unexpectedly when he was 29. Later that year my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer (she's a survivor though!!)

dundasgirl · January 2011

Wow ladies! You are all strong and amazing women to overcome these struggles.

MrsKolasa · January 2011

I am in awe of everyone on here. Survivor doesn't even begin to cover it.

Mine is watching my friend of 10 years die in a horrible car accident 3 months before we graduated from HS and then just last year running into the person who hit her and listen to her talk about the whole situation. I wanted to run but my legs wouldn't move.

Also- holding my BFFs hand while she delivered her angel son a few months ago. I know that there are women on this board who have given birth to angels too and I am just so sorry. Her due date is this Tuesday. Life just sucks sometimes.