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Another NA adoption question

butterflygroovesbutterflygrooves member
in Adoption

I just want to be prepared for any situation that may come along...

Obviously being a card carrying NA would make the adoption of a NA child easier (hypothetically).  My question is this:  If I reapply for membership to my tribe in Washington State will that work for an adoption in California?

My tribal ties expired when I turned 18 (I needed to reapply as an adult) and since I live in a different state in which no reservation recognizes my tribe I decided not to reapply.  Now that we are waiting for an adoption match I am thinking it might be a good idea to apply for membership again just in case we are matched with a NA child.

Has anyone had to deal with this situation?

Two Mommies Healing Hearts

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Re: Another NA adoption question

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    Temp206787500007404Temp206787500007404

    It definitely couldn't hurt!

    The two particular tribes we were working with didn't care.  Priority consideration would have been given to a family who was the same tribe, but since we were a private adoption that wasn't an issue.  For both of those tribes, as long as you were a member of ANY tribe, they were willing to terminate their rights to a tribal hearing at any point in the future (basically they believed that any NA parent was better than no NA parent...and that a member of any tribe could and would do a better job of preserving heritage than a non NA parent).  From the post from the other day, it seems that there is at least one tribe who is willing to permanently terminate its rights as a tribe for a non NA parent.  That was not the case with the two tribes we were working with...if the child was eligible for membership to their child at all, they wanted NA parents and if those weren't available, they would not permanently terminate their rights.

    Also, something to consider and I don't know if being a member of any tribe would help with this, is that we were going to let the tribe give our son an NA name...BUT, we were not going to be allowed to attend this or many of their rituals.  Our son would be able to attend, but we would not.  It was important enough to us, that we were going to work out something so he could be there, but it made me very nervous to turn him over to someone else and it also made me sad that we were not allowed to participate...even as spectators.  There were a few rituals they allowed the public to come and see, and we could go to those, but my impression was they were just for "show."  I would be really interested to know if someone who was a member of one tribe, would be welcomed to participate in rituals of another child (I'm sure it varies).

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    butterflygroovesbutterflygrooves member

    imagefredalina:
    Apply. There's a very slim chance that if you are the wrong tribe, they won't allow you to adopt, but i'd bet 99% of the time they will.

    If you read the photolistings on adoptuskids.com, they never specify that the applicant be Shawnee or Seminole or Cherokee, etc, just that they be NA. A good state to search would be Oklahoma since there are so many tribes and reservations there.

    We are adopting through the foster system and I'm under the assumption that we will only be matched with children from our state, will they match from another state?

    Two Mommies Healing Hearts

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    Temp206787500007404Temp206787500007404
    You can adopt a child from foster care in any state who is legally free for adoption (since they're legally free for adoption, that removes the foster component...you could only foster in your state).  Fred was referring to searching either state databases or something like adoptuskids.org for children of NA heritage.
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    butterflygroovesbutterflygrooves member
    Yes  Gotcha!  We aren't looking specifically for a NA child, just want to be better prepared in case one comes our way.  Smile

    Two Mommies Healing Hearts

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    foundmylazybumfoundmylazybum
    imageMrsB2007:

    It definitely couldn't hurt!

    The two particular tribes we were working with didn't care.  Priority consideration would have been given to a family who was the same tribe, but since we were a private adoption that wasn't an issue.  For both of those tribes, as long as you were a member of ANY tribe, they were willing to terminate their rights to a tribal hearing at any point in the future (basically they believed that any NA parent was better than no NA parent...and that a member of any tribe could and would do a better job of preserving heritage than a non NA parent). 

    Also, something to consider and I don't know if being a member of any tribe would help with this, is that we were going to let the tribe give our son an NA name...BUT, we were not going to be allowed to attend this or many of their rituals.  Our son would be able to attend, but we would not.  It was important enough to us, that we were going to work out something so he could be there, but it made me very nervous to turn him over to someone else and it also made me sad that we were not allowed to participate...even as spectators.  There were a few rituals they allowed the public to come and see, and we could go to those, but my impression was they were just for "show."  I would be really interested to know if someone who was a member of one tribe, would be welcomed to participate in rituals of another child (I'm sure it varies).

    I find this so weird. I'm sure it's true! But from my experience, I have a friend who is 100% one tribe, and his wife is part one tribe, part another, I asked if she was the "wrong" tribe--and he gently warned me to NEVER ask her that saying she would be really offended if I did. Of course it is probably individual to tribes and the area (and this is NAR--but personal), but I got the message that not all tribes are created equal...Which goes to the second bolded, I would guess that NO they cannot participate! I think Native American tribes vary in terms of the closeness of their ties, but they are unique and distinct and they really value that. They are "Native American" as a whole AND "X" tribe individually if that makes sense.

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    Temp206787500007404Temp206787500007404

    FMLB...that's what I assumed about participation too.  I know they were very protective about being able to attend their rituals and events (understandably), so my assumption is the same as yours, but I have no idea what the official answer would be.

    And you're right...definitely not created equal.  I was surprised to learn that these two tribes would be okay with any NA parent...but again, don't know how it would work with others.  It's definitely a lot more complex than the normal adoption (which is plenty complex on its own) would be.  :)

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    foundmylazybumfoundmylazybum

    I think what you are saying goes to...another issue about adoption with Native American children that is rarely discussed here--and that is considering the cultural aspects!  I sometimes feel that the major issue discussed is "How do I "get through ICWA," but not exactly WHY ICWA exists--and what it means  for a white family to adopt a Native American child.

     

    I feel like there should be a lot of thought that goes into the process of adopting a Native American child...a lot of care and considerations could come up--the individual nature of each tribe, the rituals and how will you as a parent handle them, and the responsibilities we as parents have to make sure we are helping a Native American child BE a member of their tribe. I really appreciate you sharing the story of the Naming ceremony here! It's a great example of these issues that seem to sometimes get glossed over :)

    PS::: hugs today, I'm sending you good vibes:::: 

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