CP: When your fingers get too big, will you rock a fake band?

damabo80 · January 2011

To the current wedding band wearers:

In the good ol's south, whenever people see a big belly, it's like you can hear their eyes moving to the left ring finger to see if something is there.

So, do you have confidence to rock to naked finger, or are you going to pick up a fake sparkler at Target?

(for myself, I've already started checking out CZ bands)

[Poll]

Mrs.Leah.Maria · January 2011

Yup, I couldn't handle the judgmental stares when I was pregnant with DS. I'm a married woman dammit.

taylorfriend · January 2011

Why not just wear your ring around your neck? Buy a nice chain and make it a necklace

PirateGirl04 · January 2011

taylorfriend:
Why not just wear your ring around your neck? Buy a nice chain and make it a necklace

This is what my husband gave me for Christmas! So that's what I will do!

KleanFreak · January 2011

I'm thinking of wearing them on a chain. I wear a lot of different necklaces though, so I am not sure if it will last.

flowers2424 · January 2011

I will definitely buy some kind of cheapie and wear it. I live in the South and as much as I want to say I don't give a crap what other people think, I do.

kgunz11 · January 2011

taylorfriend:
Why not just wear your ring around your neck? Buy a nice chain and make it a necklace

I will probably do this, in addition to wearing a fake ring on my left hand. Nobody looks at your neck to see if you're ring is up there... instead they just judge.

damabo80 · January 2011

taylorfriend:
Why not just wear your ring around your neck? Buy a nice chain and make it a necklace

Meh, the "ring around the neck" isn't my style. I usually don't like the feel of necklaces, anyways.

Plus (as mentioned above), I need something on the left ring finger (not around my neck) to stave off the busy bodies.

Jay_Cee · January 2011

I plan to get a plain gold band to replace my wedding rings when the time comes. I don't necessarily want a fake band, but I do want something to wear because I am married!

Aubs13 · January 2011

Of course I'm special.... Wink

I'll get a wedding band if my rings don't fit throughout the entire pregnancy. I understand the "South" thing, as I would never have even thought about this if I was still living in CT. But, yes, most people look at my finger before even asking me about the baby.

I won't get a fake engagement ring to go with it, the wedding band is enough for me. A plain band is fairly cheap, so I'm just going to get one when the time comes.

Mrs.Leah.Maria · January 2011

Jhron813:
So this is one of those things I've never heard of before -- does that really happen to everyone??

Being judged or the ring not fitting?

ShannonMacHappy · January 2011

I'll admit to doing it too. In fact, I always look to see if people are married. Just something I do. I have already STRONGLY hinted to DH that I would like a band to wear when my fingers get too fat and swollen. I sure hope he follows through. If not, I'll get my own damn self one. Agreed -- living in the South. Just part of the "charm." Ha!

Shelleybell · January 2011

definitely!

damabo80 · January 2011

Jhron813:
So this is one of those things I've never heard of before -- does that really happen to everyone??

I've lived in liberal Northern CA and conservative GA, and I would say it happens with more prevalance down in GA. There's the idea that the unmarried PG girls are welfare baby-mommas, so I've seen them be treated like second class citizens here. Sad, but true.

KleanFreak · January 2011

Now that I think about it...I was glancing at the ladies in my prenatal class to see if they were married. I guess I am more judgmental than I thought!

MrsLove2810 · January 2011

My wedding bad is a tad bit bigger then my engagement ring so I am hoping to get away with just wearing that. I don't even like taking my rings off at all, so I would have to get another band, fake or not. My fingers feel naked without them. I could care less about what people think whether I am married or not, I also live in the south.lol

mbritto4 · January 2011

I have a sapphire ring that was my Moms that's a little bigger on me that I wore last time. I wore nothing in the hospital.

MFAinNYC · January 2011

When we went to Paris in October, it was our anniversary. DH got me a platinum Hearts on Fire band for the occasion and I had it sized for my right hand. My right hand ring finger is a whole ring size bigger than my freakishly thin left hand ring finger so I am hoping I can wear that... if not, I also have a ring that's like a 6 that I got for when I was going to grad school and walking around the city alone late at night.

mainemommy · January 2011

If I actually swell enough to not be able to wear my rings Ill get a cheap fake one. It has nothing to do with looks, I feel so bare without them that if I forget to put them on I have 1/2 a heart attack thinking Ive lost them.

Mrs.Leah.Maria · January 2011

damabo80:
Jhron813:
So this is one of those things I've never heard of before -- does that really happen to everyone??

I've lived in liberal Northern CA and conservative GA, and I would say it happens with more prevalance down in GA. There's the idea that the unmarried PG girls are welfare baby-mommas, so I've seen them be treated like second class citizens here. Sad, but true.

Minnesota leans more liberal and it still happens with great frequency. As another poster wrote, it's usually the first thing I look for as well. Whether it's to judge or to establish whether you're relatable to them, at least that's how I justify it.

jdm7 · January 2011

I'll probably rock a naked finger, or just my wedding band. The engagement ring will come off sooner though (it's size smaller). However, I cannot wear a cheapie because I have an allergy to certain metals. So if it's not gold, then it's not on my hands. I may do the chain thing. But I might also just go look for a less than $100 white gold band that I can get sized up then down again.

MFAinNYC · January 2011

Mrs.Leah.Maria:
damabo80:
Jhron813:
So this is one of those things I've never heard of before -- does that really happen to everyone??

I've lived in liberal Northern CA and conservative GA, and I would say it happens with more prevalance down in GA. There's the idea that the unmarried PG girls are welfare baby-mommas, so I've seen them be treated like second class citizens here. Sad, but true.
Minnesota leans more liberal and it still happens with great frequency. As another poster wrote, it's usually the first thing I look for as well. Whether it's to judge or to establish whether you're relatable to them, at least that's how I justify it.

I ALWAYS look, and I am in NYC.

twest0508 · January 2011

I didn't know that this was primarily a southern thing, I just figured it happened everywhere, but I'm from the south, so I'm totally guilty of glancing at ring fingers myself, lol.

I will definitely find a ring to wear, cause it would just feel weird to not have my rings on.

HelloAnnie! · January 2011

DH recently got me an anniversary band and we purposely didn't get sized so that I can wear it when my wedding ring stops fitting. I'll get it sized correctly after Baby comes. But otherwise I would have done a CZ ring. I'm proud, I guess.

amoramoure · January 2011

I don't wear a wedding band now (I lost some weight and it no longer fit me-it probably fits me now though!) so I probably won't get a fake one to ward off judgy mcjudgersons. The people I care about know I'm married. Why would I ever give a fluck what strangers think of my marital status?

cburitz · January 2011

I voted SS because if my finger swells too much, I will just have my wedding rings resized. It doesn't cost anything and I like having them redipped every 6 months or so anyway.

ETA: I don't have the confidence to rock out a bare finger. I'm afraid to be mistaken for a high school student and I don't want the judgemental stares!

DMBfan41 · January 2011

mainemommy:
If I actually swell enough to not be able to wear my rings Ill get a cheap fake one. It has nothing to do with looks, I feel so bare without them that if I forget to put them on I have 1/2 a heart attack thinking Ive lost them.

This. I can't say I've ever checked to see if someone is married when they're k/u. Just never really thought about it.

loveumike · January 2011

Not all fingers swell. I wore my rings the entire time I was pg. If they do this time, I won't wear a band.

Mrs.Leah.Maria · January 2011

Jhron813:
Mrs.Leah.Maria:

Jhron813:
So this is one of those things I've never heard of before -- does that really happen to everyone??

Being judged or the ring not fitting?

Ha -- the ring not fitting! I definitely believe people judge (unfortunately).

I just had to clarify lol! Oh definitely. I would suggest doing a daily ring test. I kept my weight gain under 30lbs with DS and had normal blood pressure, but had to stop wearing my ring at 37 weeks. Your body can change so rapidly. I'd rather take it off than have to have it removed.

njohnson1972 · January 2011

I will go with a naked finger. I honestly don't care what strangers think. A ring does not make a marriage.

I will probably rock my David Yurman rings on both hands - though they fit on my middle fingers. I just like wearing jewerly. Not really concerned about what others think.

zenma · January 2011

My fingers were really swollen the other day and my while my engagement ring came off fine my band didn't. So fast forward a few months and yes ma'am I'll be getting a fake set. I feel naked without my rings on so I'll need something.

Edited for horrid grammar.

bananatiff · January 2011

taylorfriend:
Why not just wear your ring around your neck? Buy a nice chain and make it a necklace

I thought of this too, but I'm super paranoid of a chain breaking and losing my rings. While not worth a fortune, they mean too much to replace.

Ashley858 · January 2011

I have not really decided yet I look about 15. So I have not decided whether to go with it and let people wonder or get a fake yet.

*true story: while we were visiting the ILs over Christmas we went out to eat one night, I was wearing no make up and my hair was pulled back. They asked FIL if he needed 2 kids menus, one for BIL (13) and one for Me.

MuseumMaven · January 2011

I'll probably wear a ring on my hand, not because I'm overly concerned about what other people think, but because I feel really naked without my rings! I never take them off, so I feel strange without them. Plus, I have an ugly dent/tan line where my rings always sit - I'd rather cover that up!

dairygirl19 · January 2011

Sure. The only reason being costumey bling is a fun affordable fix that makes me feel good!

Hopeful11 · January 2011

I was worried about my ring not fitting since when I was going thru IF my weight went up and I was extra swollen/bloated. I mentioned to DH a few times that I'd like a right hand ring and then when I was further along, then I could use it as a wedding band replacement (esp. since right hand is bigger if you are right handed). So for Christmas this year, he got me the most beautiful diamond right hand ring that I now wear as my wedding band (my fingers are already swollen up too much for my rings to fit).

Saltina11 · January 2011

I will not wear a fake ring. I'm sure the indent on my ring finger will make it obvious that I do have one. And don't most women know and understand why we might not have rings on? Let's face it, it's the WOMEN who are the most judgmental. I honestly do not care if people judge me. If they were really that religious and decent then they should realize they shouldn't be judging others.

chocoholicchick · January 2011

If I can fit the rings on another finger, I will do that instead. If not, I will probably put them on a chain and wear that way. Not sure if DH will like that since he be afraid I will lose the rings easier via a chain.

jillybean222 · January 2011

Nah, I will just be super-judged...big belly and two kids in tow...maybe people will think they all have different fathers too, that would be awesome

My fingers used to feel naked without my rings, but I just looked down and realized I don't have them on! I take them off when I do the kids' bath or when I run in the hotter months - my fingers swell in the heat so being pregnant in the summer probably won't help things much

I couldn't wear my rings after 30 weeks with #1 (BP was high and I was swollen) but I wore them until I headed to the hospital to have DD #2.

Meg&Pete · January 2011

I am not married, but I am engaged. My fiancee kept promising he would get my ring sized (it has always been too big), but he kept forgetting. Maybe that was a blessing in disguise! Hopefully I'll grow into it over the next few months and will get the ring re-sized post baby.

DRN8302 · January 2011

I was able to wear my ring the whole time I was pregnant w/ DD. However, I am already not wearing mine now, but it's b/c of this weird rash I have all around it. And the skin's very dry. So I can't even try a fake ring; it will probably make it worse. I was at Target the other day w/ DD and this lady looked at her and looked at me and then right at my ring finger- no ring. I got a big fat frown. I glared back.

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