"DH won't let me"

tokenhoser · January 2011

This is a foreign concept to me. I don't think DH would let me polish off a bottle of wine, but he's expressed no interest in "letting me" do things or not do things since I got pregnant. In exchange, I've expressed no interest in kicking him in the junk to prove I'm a capable and independent woman. Stick out tongue I've seen this a lot here - everything from "DH won't let me shovel" to "DH won't let me sleep on my back".

LuvTrav · January 2011

Haaa exactly... MH expresses concern for both my well being and the baby's but this is my body. I do not need permission for anything!

Pythia1022 · January 2011

DH learned his lesson the hard way when his redneck uncle suggested I shouldn't have my one glass of champagne on Christmas Eve. No wrath like a [pregnant] woman scorned...

LLH2010 · January 2011

I wish my DH would understand this concept, there are tons of things he "won't let me do" now that I'm pregnant. He had a freak out in Walmart the other night because I lifted cat litter (20lbs) to put in the cart while he was dilly dallying in the snack aisle. He told me I'm not allowed to lift anything.... (rolls eyes)

LegalLadyBug · January 2011

My husband doesn't like me to carry/lift heavy things, and will get grumpy if I do it when he's around because he would rather do it. That's pretty much the only thing he "wont let me do." He's actually really protective of our LO and I tend to err on the side of caution, because I can. I've had lower back problems my whole life though, so me not carrying really heavy things isn't abnormal for us. I do things that need to be done though, so it's not like things don't get done because I'm KU. Honestly the only thing I can even remember him getting mad at me about was one morning I climbed up on the counter to get down the griddle that was on top of the cupboards. It was a stupid idea in retrospect and I could have fallen, but I was hungry lol.

Neukim · January 2011

tokenhoser:

This is a foreign concept to me. I don't think DH would let me polish off a bottle of wine, but he's expressed no interest in "letting me" do things or not do things since I got pregnant. In exchange, I've expressed no interest in kicking him in the junk to prove I'm a capable and independent woman. I've seen this a lot here - everything from "DH won't let me shovel" to "DH won't let me sleep on my back".

ditto all this!!

jc51723 · January 2011

I think it is sweet that my husband obviously cares about mine and the baby's well-being, but I wouldn't say that he "doesn't let me" do things. Haha he knows I do what I want!

What I can't stand is when girls on here or IRL say "I sent DH" or "I made DH go get me (fill in the blank)." Damn it, last I checked my legs still function properly! Of course if you are on bedrest or whatever, then that is totally understandable.

mrs pH · January 2011

DH won't let me go to work today. I'm taking him up on this one. Big Smile

VaulterMom · January 2011

DH doesn't try that with me - no one does... I punched my BIL (my sister's husband) in the face after he p!ssed me off too much, so everyone just knows to let me do my thing.

RGWalsh · January 2011

DH almost did not let me take a tiny sip of champagne on New Year's Eve. It was only when two of our friends (who are already Moms) said it as fine that he gave me the okay. Either way I was going to take a sip Stick out tongue

. Other than that DH just wants me to be careful, aware of my limits (yes I have them), and take care of myself and LO.

lyndsaynicole · January 2011

My DH has definitely become more protective of me since being pg. I'm pretty clumsy in general, so he just watches me a little closer now-lol. Wink

Perfect example-in this crappy winter weather, when we are walking through a parking lot or something, he always extends his arm out for me to grab onto and says, "here lady-be careful now...". Hehehe. Big Smile

RGWalsh · January 2011

lyndsaynicole:
My DH has definitely become more protective of me since being pg. I'm pretty clumsy in general, so he just watches me a little closer now-lol.

Perfect example-in this crappy winter weather, when we are walking through a parking lot or something, he always extends his arm out for me to grab onto and says, "here lady-be careful now...". Hehehe.

MY DH does this too, it is so cute. He also tries to walk slower so I can keep up.

MrsDL · January 2011

DH does not pull this with me - the worst he'll say is "should you be doing that?" or "can I do that for you?" - he's concerned for my health and the baby - but he also knows I am as well, that I'm intelligent and capable, so it would be a huge insult to me if he forbid me or wouldn't let me do something I know is perfectly fine. I'm glad he has this faith in me, but I suppose I wouldn't have married him if he didn't.

UndecidedChange · January 2011

I'm hoping that it's more of semantics thinly veiled with a mutually agreeable protective theme rather than a dictatorial "YOU WILL NOT" theme.

Lisa Frank · January 2011

It's really fricking stupid. I'm under the impression that several women here think they are disabled. Or at least their DH's do. Huh?

iris427 · January 2011

Yeah I don't get this either.

elisbu · January 2011

My DH has not said "You can't...." with the exception of the cat litter. He will NOT let me near the cat litter, even when I just tried to pick up the lid to see if it needed to be changed. Other than that, he prefers I don't do certain things (climb on the counters to get something that is on a high shelf...yep, me too PP) but he doesn't say 'You can't!!"

And when I 'tell' DH to things (make dinner, fold laundry, mail a bill, pick up ice cream ...etc) I would do this before pregnancy too, he works better with a list.

calm_angel_2003 · January 2011

my dh will ask if i shouldnt do something but then ill do it anyways... like rearranging the living room furniture for christmas and climbing up on the counter at work because i couldnt reach something or lifting a big bag of dog food from walmart. Screw it i know what i can and cant do if not my body will tell me later when its sore

robbi123 · January 2011

I wish! DH asked me to help him move the couch last weekend when we were cleaning!

He did throw away my Splenda when we found out I was pregnant because he said it's "poison" (rolling my eyes)

andigurl · January 2011

DF is not a moron, knows that I am not a moron and trusts that I'm not going to do something to endanger the well being of our unborn kid. I met DF through his brother and brothers wife (they are good friends of mine). She just had a baby in July and he (her DH) was all over her, all the time. Don't do this, you can't do that. I told DF up front that if he tried to pull that crap on me I would throat punch him and he agreed there would be none of that. lol.

They (my future BIL and SIL that are my long time friends) have tried the "you can't have this or do that" bull and I have immediately made it clear that I will do what I feel is appropriate and don't need their "guidance".

Kristin&Kelly09 · January 2011

tokenhoser:

This is a foreign concept to me. I don't think DH would let me polish off a bottle of wine, but he's expressed no interest in "letting me" do things or not do things since I got pregnant. In exchange, I've expressed no interest in kicking him in the junk to prove I'm a capable and independent woman. I've seen this a lot here - everything from "DH won't let me shovel" to "DH won't let me sleep on my back".

Yes

Mrs.Saxy · January 2011

the only thing my DH has had a problem with was my wanting something alcoholic. it wasn't even a drink, it was peach cobbler made with whisky. Other than that, he's been totally normal.

MrsK09 · January 2011

The only thing DH "wouldn't" let me do is go to work the other day. We had a good bit of ice that was then covered with lots of snow, the roads were horrible. I teach and they didn't cancel school even though they should have because they called several snow days earlier this winter and they don't want to make them up. DH checked the road conditions and said "You're not going to work, call in sick", so I did. There were lots of accidents that day and I think he would have said the same thing even if I wasn't pg. The next day there was a huge article in the paper about how it was stupid that we didn't call off school and how dangerous and irresponsible it was on the part of the district to get all the kids and teachers out. Every town around us called off school. All of my teacher friends were jealous that DH "made" me stay home!

SFBayMrs · January 2011

jc51723:

I think it is sweet that my husband obviously cares about mine and the baby's well-being, but I wouldn't say that he "doesn't let me" do things. Haha he knows I do what I want!

What I can't stand is when girls on here or IRL say "I sent DH" or "I made DH go get me (fill in the blank)." Damn it, last I checked my legs still function properly! Of course if you are on bedrest or whatever, then that is totally understandable.

This, all of it. Although I wouldn't minde being spoiled once in a while if he *did* want to go out and get me a treat. Smile

melgrady · January 2011

The only thing DH won't let me do is clean the cat box, but I am fine with that

DH knows I am perfectly capable of making good decisions and doesn't interfere.

tokenhoser · January 2011

There is a huge difference in tone to me between "My DH offered to do all the shoveling" and "DH won't let me shovel". I don't know why. The phrase "let me" grinds my gears. He's my husband, not my keeper.

soon to be Mrs. Connolly · January 2011

I've said it regarding shoveling. Does he say it that way? NO. I find it comical. It is more like he would be very angry with me if I jeopardized our baby by shoveling just because I feel that I should. Could I , Of course I could. I consider myself a very independent woman as well. But there comes a time when you have to put your pride to the side for the well being of your child and allow other people to do things that you normally would do. I no longer take the giant laundry basket to the basement buecause I know I am a clutz and would end up falling down one of the two flights of stairs, does that make me bad?

tokenhoser · January 2011

I don't think I'm "jeopardizing my baby" by continuing to exercise and be active. I try not to judge those that aren't able to keep moving, but I do kind of judge those that just decide randomly on their own that every-day activities are suddenly too dangerous. I would guess the worst thing all of us do every day is get in a car and drive, but no one stops that...

soon to be Mrs. Connolly · January 2011

No but I think you would agree that shoveling a 1 -2 foot snow storm once a week is not "everyday exercise". Also, the snow is slippery and there are enough ice patches under it which in turn could "jeopardize" the baby if you fell. SO again, probably just not worth the risk for that reason alone. Trust me, I have had a bad SI joint for a few years now and the last thing I want is to be laid up because I exerted myself beyond the daily regular exercise routine. The majority of people in the medical profession would say activities such as shoveling should be avoided.

Heather & Nayt · January 2011

My DH is that way only with food, which I am actually thankful for. I need him to keep my on track with my strict diet. It sucks but I am glad he does.

andigurl · January 2011

I just always think back to when people didn't have it so easy like we do now. There were still cows to milk, gardens to tend and laundry to be done, with a wash board and bar of soap (including hauling the water to do so). Somehow they still managed to have healthy babies and do all that work (Baby Boomers Generation? hello!

). And that was with minimal technology and prenatal care compared to what we have now. I highly doubt my grandfather was out in the garden telling my grandmother to "take it easy, go put your feet up, let me get you a massage" or even hauling up bushels of veggies from the garden. I'm sure he was at work, or the bar.

Lisa102304 · January 2011

tokenhoser:
This is a foreign concept to me. I don't think DH would let me polish off a bottle of wine, but he's expressed no interest in "letting me" do things or not do things since I got pregnant. In exchange, I've expressed no interest in kicking him in the junk to prove I'm a capable and independent woman. I've seen this a lot here - everything from "DH won't let me shovel" to "DH won't let me sleep on my back".

This.drives.me.insane. I love you for saying it.

My biggest pet peeve on here. I do not understand it one tiny bit. My DH respects me as a person, my opinion on what is best for the baby (and me) and would not question it one tiny bit. If he DID start telling me what to do I would promptly kick him in the happy sacks.

00tedsgirl · January 2011

tokenhoser:
There is a huge difference in tone to me between "My DH offered to ..." and "DH won't let me ...l". I don't know why. The phrase "let me" grinds my gears. He's my husband, not my keeper.

This. I moved out of my father's house almost half my life ago.

shellindcwife · January 2011

WhoTF said that? What a moron.I had a small glass of champagne on my birthday and he didn't say a word.

That said, as the PPs have posted, I'm cool w/ the Hs out there (and I have one) that ask if they can do anything for you or question a behavior (my H has a thing about chocolate--he's always asking "How much chocolate, again? Can you eat *insert dessert item here*?). H will also hold his arm out for me in the snow/ice b/c like one of the PPs, I don't have the best balance and am clumsy too, so it's pretty sweet to have another person to balance against when I'm as big as a whale already (and yes, and I have 3+ months to go) and prone to falling down. LOL.

kristennd · January 2011

tokenhoser:
There is a huge difference in tone to me between "My DH offered to do all the shoveling" and "DH won't let me shovel". I don't know why. The phrase "let me" grinds my gears. He's my husband, not my keeper.

Yeah, that repetition was really getting to me as well.

DH had plenty of time before we married to learn and accept the fact that I am extremely independent. The fact I was almost 39 before marrying for the first time makes a huge difference, of course. I would also not appreciate him questioning my judgment. He has been an absolute prince about doing anything I do request help with, but always waits for me to ask.

And my OB is just fine with regular shoveling. I also walk half a mile on icy sidewalks in often below zero temps to get to/from work every day and she agreed that the danger in falling is too slim to matter. I may hurt myself, but not the baby.

pinkflipflops44 · January 2011

hahahahahahahhaha i pity the time my husband 'won't let me do something.' He has expressed concern about certain things he knew nothing about and i answered his concerns with research/info and he was cool with it. he knows i know what i am doing and that i would never intentionally do something to harm myself or our child.

Want a personalized experience?

"DH won't let me"

Re: &quot;DH won't let me&quot;

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

&quot;DH won't let me&quot;

Re: &amp;quot;DH won't let me&amp;quot;

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

"DH won't let me"

Re: "DH won't let me"