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July 2011 Moms
The Craziest (or most annoying) Thing...
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Re: The Craziest (or most annoying) Thing...
My MIL and GMIL have the most dramatic childbirth stories. They want to one-up each other. Basically, my husband was delivered by c-section because he couldn't get out and his heart rate dropped. The story goes, "{DH NAME} DIED INSIDE OF ME!"
No, he did not. And you're gross.
Mine does this, and I told her that her son doesn't want anyone to know, but she keeps suggesting names or asking what I like.
I only have annoying things, haha.
Mom: "I will be in the delivery room with you because I'm your mom. Every mom wants to see that." (She's not invited, but I told her she could be there for labor and come back in as soon as the pushing is over and we are cleaned up -- this is not a show.)
MIL: "I'm just so surprised you two are having a baby so soon! Was this even planned?" (Yes, it was planned. We've been married for 2.5 years, have stable careers, and own our house, so it's not exactly 'so soon,' as she puts it.)
MIL : "This wasn't planned was it?"
Um TYVM, it was definitely planned. WTH. Luckily, I haven't seen much of her lately. She really isn't too bad but I am easily irritated while pregnant.
Stepmother - When we told her we were expecting she said, 'Oh, so soon! Were ya'll trying? Weeellll, if you're ready for this, then okay.'
I have decided that, even though she probably didn't mean any harm, the 'was it planned' question is about the most obnoxious. I'll just start saying 'nope, we were just totally wasted. not planned at all'
MIL to DH: "I know you two like to go out and have fun with your friends but while she's pregnant she shouldn't be drinking. I mean, I guess she probably won't but you need to be careful."
WTF- b/c when not pregnant I would enjoy 1 or 2 drinks a week I am a raging alcoholic who won't be able to stop drinking during pregnancy?
My mom is obsessed with the name Emma Grace. She kept trying to get my bro and SIL to name their daughter this and now has been pushing it on us if it is a girl. I've told her we are not naming the baby Emma Grace so now she keeps bringing up the name Piper.
Enough with the name suggestions already.
MIL - that this better be a boy. She already has 2 granddaughters
Oh my goodness, my mom continually brings this up. Her usual guilt trip goes like this: "I just wonder where I went wrong as a mother that my daughter wouldn't want to have me in the room when she delivers her baby. You'll understand this hurt when you have a daughter one day."
But the latest momma drama is this: We are finding out the baby's sex on February 10 and then planning a small family dinner (just my BILs, SILs, his GPs and my parents) at DH's grandparent's house to announce to the family on the 11th. We thought it would be fun to let them watch the DVD and enjoy the news together.
Well when I told my mom about it, she immediately turned up her nose and said: "So you're not going to tell anyone the day you find out?"
I said: "no, we're going to a nice dinner together and we're going to enjoy our exciting news for a bit."
Her: "Well this is my first grandchild. This isn't his family's first. It's our right to know before everyone else (she actually said this). You'll understand when you have a daughter (she uses this a LOT) of your own."
I am so sick of her right now. My mom tends to be pretty self-centered and immature and my pregnancy has only exaggerated her personality.
Mom: She's always asking about what I'm eating. Because I don't want to get gestational diabetes (like she did) Shello so far I'm eating healthier now than I have in my life. She gained 65lbs eating nothing but brownies! For almost 30 years I've heard her talk about the brownies, but now I get looks when instead of raw veggies or fruit I may every now and then want some frozen yogurt. Ugh it urks me.
MIL: Everything! She doesn't believe we BOTH planned this, she's not that interested, talks about all the negative things that could go wrong, bought me 3xl jogging pants, "for when I get huge," and the list goes on and on.
Can I add a friend? Her famous line to any of my complaints, "Oh just waits, it'll get way worse." thanks for all the positivity girlfriend!
Eh, nothing too bad. The only side eye worthy comment was from my mom.
I told her we had a chili cook-off event at work and all the chilis were so tasty! She then told me that I shouldn't eat spicy food while PG since it's bad for the baby. I laughed and pretty much made a quip that India and Mexico wouldn't be so overpopulated if spicy food could cause issues in PG.
ETA: I just thought of one that I've actually heard from a few people, and it grates on me to no end. When I first told my mom I was PG, she made a comment about how I must have been relaxed, and that's how I got KUed, because we weren't trying. Uh....no. It was probably the $3k worth of drugs I pumped myself full of before the RE cancelled the cycle. But nice try. Funny that she should say that, as it took her 14 years to get PG with me.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
I have a lot from my MIL
~ after the BFP in November, she asked when I was signing up for baptism classes. I replied with 'Well since we're moving I'm going to wait to decided what church we'll use'. She then needed to be 'comforted' because she understood that as me saying we'll not be baptizing the baby....grrrrrrr
~she keeps asking if I'm feeling under the weather...I always reply I am not sick, I am pregnant. I haven't yet had morning sickness or any other ailment, I just get tired...she calls every day to ask if I am feeling under the weather...NO I AM NOT!
~ she wants to know if I want to use DH's 'Hummel' lamp in the nursery....1. the lamp is 28+ years old, 2. regardless of what scheme I pick, I doubt it would coordinate, 3. I just don't care for Hummels or anything along that lines....but she doesn't get it
These are just a few...I spend a lot of my free time finding ways of avoiding them unfortunately because she is just too in your face...my FIL also goes over to my house everyday to shovel, which is nice (and appreciated, but not neccessary) and he leaves stuff all over our house which in turn I need to pick up when I get home, which is usually the last thing I want to do after a long day of work and DH not being around....
Can you tell I am little over my IL's?!
Why don't you just start saying crazy off the wall names and just really drive her nuts...my friend did that and it worked like a charm and everyone layed off of her till LO arrrived! People are so rude sometimes sorry your MIL is like that!
Most annoying thing FMIL has said so far is telling FI's siblings that she doesn't think the baby is really his. Other than that I have only met her once so there is only so much she can do.
My mother on the other hand keeps refering to this baby as HER baby. This is not her baby, unless you were there to make it, you can't claim it.
I think that is so terrible of her to say. Way to make your pregnancy all about her. Just because you want a special moment with your DH doesn't mean she did anything wrong (even if she did, who cares?). I'm really sorry she is pulling the guilt trip out on you.
It just irks me that my mom thinks she has the right to be in the delivery room. I want those first moments to be for me and DH only; it's the only time we'll ever be first-time parents. I don't want to miss that because my mom is oohing and ahing, hovering over us trying to get a look at and hold the baby. It's such a special day, and every single moment doesn't have to be shared with our mothers.
MIL- I have explained that I do not want anyone at the hospital for delivery this time. I will make arrangement for the kids and then we will not call anyone. It is too stressful to have everyone there. (which means I don't want the kids and IL there, they stress me out) Her response was "Excuse me, I have been there to hear the first cry of all of my other grandchildren and I will be there for this one". I responded " Not if we don't call you". She is not happy about this.
All other family agrees with this except her. I will call my step mother and SIL because they are awsome during the labor time.
LMAO
Exactly. This is an incredible bonding opportunity for our little family and I won't give it up over her temper tantrum(s).
My mom is a nurse and swears up and down that she knows it all about everything pregnancy related. Um, nice try mom but your specialty is in the ER and not OB/GYN. She told me the other day that something is wrong with me b/c I go to the bathroom a lot and that isn't normal in the 2nd Tri, just the 1st and 3rd. WTF? I had our monthly appointment the day after she told me this and my OB was like, um, you are just going to continue to go to the bathroom more and more as the baby grows.
I asked my mom what she wants to be called by our baby and she said she definitely doesn't want to be called grandmother in English or the Filipino version, which is Lola. She then said she wants to be called Mommy-La. Um, the only person the baby calls mommy is me. I don't care what combo you are trying to go for but I am not cool with that for some reason.
My MIL keeps texting DH and I separately about all these names she thinks she wants to be called instead of grandmother. Last night, she sent a text with the Greek name for grandmother, Ya-Ya, b/c she says she likes the way it sounds and loves Greek culture. So random!
Ok so I have many more annoying/crazy incidents but these are the most recent. lol. Ask me next week since I am sure there will be more.
"don't you want a real crib instead of the one you picked out?"
didn't realized I picked out a fake one.. stupid b!tch.
Uhh this is actually pre-conception (when I wasn't TTC and still on BCP's). This is the actual phone conversation:
"Hi Kristen, it's Mom, I'm at Target and there's a sale on baby things. What is your nursery theme going to be?"
<sigh> And I KNOW she is hiding all the baby things she's purchased over the years since we've been TTC...she'll probably tell me she got them after I told her I was pregnant but I KNOW she's been stocking up for years now....
MIL has been pretty good - no crazies.
After 2 years, Injects, PCOS diagnosis and 2 IUI's, we were blessed with our beautiful twin girls!
Baby Girl #3!
The worst thing she has said so far was when MH told her that I was not ready to annouce our pregnancy at Christmas. She said that she didn't understand what the big deal was and asked him if I was ashamed to be pregnant. It still makes me so angry, but I have tried to let it go.
ETA: This was from my MIL. My Mom has been amazing!
Hugs, sweetie.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
My MIL. Oh my, where to begin. She does mean well, and cares, so I am thankful for that. However, she keeps suggesting all these barfy nursery things to me. I am not a theme person, thank you very much. And I can do the nursery myself ... don't need any decor advice from you. Also, every time I mention CDing, she says, "you don't want to do that." Actually, I do. So we're going to.
Last thing ... she just expected to be in the delivery room. Said she wants to see her son's face the first time he sees the baby. Sorry. That's not for you. It's for me. She is making this WAY more about her than it should be.
Yikes. end vent. feeling a little pissy today.
I've been pretty lucky as far as MIL and Mom are concerned. My beef is with other people... We actually have a Neighbor who is PISSED that we got pregnant because she had 3 m/c and was never able to have a baby...she'll text me at random times and ask how many weeks i am and if I feel any cramping...
It's like she's wanting to curse us or something! I'm not sure!
Also the people's opinions on our decisions for a girl's name and the nursery theme are amazing me...People actually think that I need to listen to them when it comes to how I decorate my house or what I name MY child (Dh's baby too LOL)
DD1, Kathleen 9/15/2007
I'll add in another thing. MIL is desperate for us to make our registry. Little does she know we already started it weeks ago, but we're purposely not telling her. She has a problem with registries...she'll go in there and buy EVERYTHING off it now, months before anyone has any idea when the shower is, leaving us in the lurch when shower time comes around and barely anything is left on the registry. It's nice of her to be generous and all, but it's a huge PITA for us and the shower guests...she only thinks about herself. (This is based on experience from the wedding.)
Well now I think she's taking our "we haven't registered yet" as "we don't know what to register for." She called last week and said, "I have the BRU catalog right here, did you know they sell cribs? And high chairs? And car seats?" etc. etc...
I told DH we're going to have to have a sit down with her and put a money limit on how much she's allowed to buy. Otherwise she's going to go nuts, and I can't keep this registry a secret much longer or else she might just try to register for us. lol.
My mom has been great. We get along well, and she's really low-key. No complaints there.
My ILs have been a little nuts worrying about me. It's incredibly sweet, but it's also a little annoying - I'm pregnant, not sick! When we drove from DC to NM, FIL informed us he was going to drive one of our cars, because I shouldn't be driving that far pregnant (I was about 8 weeks, but the way). Never mind that he just had MAJOR heart surgery! Apparently pregnancy is a far more dangerous situation than a quadruple bypass.
But I love that they care so much.
Aww, it's so sweet that they care about you so much!
That sounds like something a 7 year old might believe. OR my husband's grandmother.