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August 2011 Moms
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Can you say "HORRIBLE TIMING"?

megd06megd06 member
in August 2011 Moms

We tried for 7 cycles this time around to get pregnant...in theory, if we had gotten KU on the 1st-2nd try (Like I obviously had hoped) I'd be oh...2-3 months from delivering now. Instead, I didn't get KU until December...my due date is Aug 30. We knew that was going to be a horrible time to have a baby, but obviously we were just grateful to get pregnant finally. Why is it bad timing you ask? Well, H is in optometry school--he's halfway through his 2nd (of 4) years. He's in SVOSH, which is a volunteer group of the students that each year go to a 3rd world country and do volunteer work. We didn't know the exact dates of the trip, but knew it'd be close to my due date.

Well...today he got the trip date. It's Sept 3 :( I've already talked to my Mom about coming up here to be with me so I won't be alone with a 2.5 yo and a newborn. H is saying that if I haven't delivered by the 3rd, he'll stay home, but I feel REALLY bad keeping him here--he's been looking forward to this trip since he joined the organization at the beginning of 1st year. (This year the group is going to Nicarauga [sp?])

Here's hoping I pop early--or at least on time (DS was born on his due date--so it's possible!)

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Re: Can you say "HORRIBLE TIMING"?

  • littlepoppyseedlittlepoppyseed member
    What a bummer for timing!  I'll say a little prayer and wish for you to have the baby a tiny bit early - so DH can get a little bonding in before his trip :)

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  • desmerelda317desmerelda317
    DH is military, so I know all about going it alone.  That said, I would be really upset if he left for 2-3 months after I had a baby and it was a volunteer thing.  With deployments, DH has no choice, so we do what we have to do.  But if DH made the actual choice to leave his newborn child, there'd be serious issues.  I'm assuming this organization isn't going anywhere and there will be another trip next year, right?  Surely your husband would rather miss a trip than miss the first few months of his child's life.
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  • babybchbumbabybchbum member
    Sending prayers you have a happy healthy baby early. :-) I know with my OB if you let them know about situations like this in advance and the baby is progressing normally throughout the pregnancy they will induce @ 39 weeks. (that's if you want to be induced... personally I'd rather hold out)
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  • megd06megd06 member

    imagebabybchbum:
    Sending prayers you have a happy healthy baby early. :-) I know with my OB if you let them know about situations like this in advance and the baby is progressing normally throughout the pregnancy they will induce @ 39 weeks. (that's if you want to be induced... personally I'd rather hold out)

    Yeah, I prefer not to be induced. If anything, I'll take castor oil (I did that with ds to get things moving so that I could avoid the pitocin). I am having a natural labor again, so it's much easier if you aren't being induced w/ pitocin.

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  • megd06megd06 member

    imagedesmerelda317:
    DH is military, so I know all about going it alone.  That said, I would be really upset if he left for 2-3 months after I had a baby and it was a volunteer thing.  With deployments, DH has no choice, so we do what we have to do.  But if DH made the actual choice to leave his newborn child, there'd be serious issues.  I'm assuming this organization isn't going anywhere and there will be another trip next year, right?  Surely your husband would rather miss a trip than miss the first few months of his child's life.

    The trip is 7 days--NOT 2-3 months--they have 3rd year to get back and start. Like I said in the OP, he's the one saying he'll miss it if I haven't delivered by the time it's time to fly out, but I just feel bad asking him to do that, since he's been volunteering for the last 2 years to be able to go (the organization raises money so that the students don't have to pay OOP to go, the students just have to volunteer a certain # of hours to be eligible)

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  • fabfivefabfive

    imagedesmerelda317:
    D That said, I would be really upset if he left for 2-3 months after I had a baby and it was a volunteer thing.   But if DH made the actual choice to leave his newborn child, there'd be serious issues.  I'm assuming this organization isn't going anywhere and there will be another trip next year, right?  Surely your husband would rather miss a trip than miss the first few months of his child's life.

     

    THIS!!!! 

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  • megd06megd06 member
    imagefabfive:

    imagedesmerelda317:
    D That said, I would be really upset if he left for 2-3 months after I had a baby and it was a volunteer thing.   But if DH made the actual choice to leave his newborn child, there'd be serious issues.  I'm assuming this organization isn't going anywhere and there will be another trip next year, right?  Surely your husband would rather miss a trip than miss the first few months of his child's life.

     

    THIS!!!! 

    aaaaaaaaaaaand....read what I wrote right above you.

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  • desmerelda317desmerelda317
    imagemegd06:

    imagedesmerelda317:
    DH is military, so I know all about going it alone.  That said, I would be really upset if he left for 2-3 months after I had a baby and it was a volunteer thing.  With deployments, DH has no choice, so we do what we have to do.  But if DH made the actual choice to leave his newborn child, there'd be serious issues.  I'm assuming this organization isn't going anywhere and there will be another trip next year, right?  Surely your husband would rather miss a trip than miss the first few months of his child's life.

    The trip is 7 days--NOT 2-3 months--they have 3rd year to get back and start. Like I said in the OP, he's the one saying he'll miss it if I haven't delivered by the time it's time to fly out, but I just feel bad asking him to do that, since he's been volunteering for the last 2 years to be able to go (the organization raises money so that the students don't have to pay OOP to go, the students just have to volunteer a certain # of hours to be eligible)

    Oh, well in that case I'd let him go.  7 days isn't too big of a deal.  I was just assuming it was 2-3 months because a lot of these sort of charitable trips are often long ones.  If your mom is willing to come visit, then that'd make it easier on you as well.  Still, I wouldn't feel too bad if he decides to stay for your labor/delivery.  I've known plenty of military couples where the dad had to miss the birth and they would have moved mountains to be there if they could have - there isn't much in the world that can compensate for not getting to hold your child in the first moments of his/her life, so I understand that your husband would have a strong desire to stay and be there for it despite all his efforts to be eligible for the trip.

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  • megd06megd06 member
    imagedesmerelda317:
    imagemegd06:

    imagedesmerelda317:
    DH is military, so I know all about going it alone.  That said, I would be really upset if he left for 2-3 months after I had a baby and it was a volunteer thing.  With deployments, DH has no choice, so we do what we have to do.  But if DH made the actual choice to leave his newborn child, there'd be serious issues.  I'm assuming this organization isn't going anywhere and there will be another trip next year, right?  Surely your husband would rather miss a trip than miss the first few months of his child's life.

    The trip is 7 days--NOT 2-3 months--they have 3rd year to get back and start. Like I said in the OP, he's the one saying he'll miss it if I haven't delivered by the time it's time to fly out, but I just feel bad asking him to do that, since he's been volunteering for the last 2 years to be able to go (the organization raises money so that the students don't have to pay OOP to go, the students just have to volunteer a certain # of hours to be eligible)

    Oh, well in that case I'd let him go.  7 days isn't too big of a deal.  I was just assuming it was 2-3 months because a lot of these sort of charitable trips are often long ones.  If your mom is willing to come visit, then that'd make it easier on you as well.  Still, I wouldn't feel too bad if he decides to stay for your labor/delivery.  I've known plenty of military couples where the dad had to miss the birth and they would have moved mountains to be there if they could have - there isn't much in the world that can compensate for not getting to hold your child in the first moments of his/her life, so I understand that your husband would have a strong desire to stay and be there for it despite all his efforts to be eligible for the trip.

    no, since the organization pays for everyone they can only afford 7 days or so--I think some years it's maybe been 2 wks. It's 5 days or so of healthcare work, and then 2-3 days of them getting to act like "tourists".

    I'd LOVE if he were here for the labor...but he's been looking forward to this for so long, and the volunteer eye care is something he's always said he wants to do when he's graduated, so this would be a great opportunity. Next year he'll be able to go, but 4th year he can't b/c of externships. One of his classmates has a wife due 2 wks before me with their 4th (!!) child--and H is pretty sure he's not going on the trip b/c his wife won't let him--in that case, I can understand--she has 3 kids already! My mom is more than happy to come stay with me, so that'll probably be what we'll end up doing. Hopefully I'll deliver early :)

     

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