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Single Parents
What might LO call new SO?
DD calls's my SO "Awesome" (private joke...and she actually can't say "Awesome". She says "Ha" which makes it even funnier).
I anticipate that one day if/when we have more kids, she will ask things like "Why can't I call Awesome 'Daddy' too?" or "Why isn't Awesome my daddy?"
Makes my heart hurt to think about it.
How will you explain?
What will/does your LO call your new SO?
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Re: What might LO call new SO?
It's kind of hard to answer that because I have no idea how old DS will be when I get married again. He could be 5, he could be 15. I imagine what he would "call" that person would be really different depending on how old he was.
When I date again and if I get to the point where I think things are serious enough that DS should meet the person, I'm going to have him call that guy by his first name. What he chooses to call him from there on out is really up to him.
My kids call my H by his first name. My DD (14) has started to call him Papa or Big Daddie. Their BF is not in their lives or involved and my H has been with us for nearly 8.5 years.
Just let the nicknaming be done by your child, don't force it. You LO will probably never ask you why they can't call Awesome, Dad. He won't need a new title he already has one. You're overthinking and creating an issue to worry about when there isn't one there.
Remember only you right now know what a traditional family is, this is your child's normal and they don't know that other kids don't have an Awesome. Actually your LO will probably pity other kids b/c they don't have an Awesome and she does.
Dependant upon his age, I'll explain it in the best terms that I can manage.
My friend had a father that was semi-active in her life. There were no hard feelings between him and her, or her father with her mother, but her mother was remarried. Her mother then had two of my friend's half brothers, so in lieu of her having to call her step-dad by his name while the two other kids called him Dad, she called him Pop.
I always liked that.
I think Awesome is such a cute nickname! Are you engaged or planning to have any children with him right away? If not, you could cross that bridge when you get there. I called my stepdad and stepmom by their first names, but I was a teen by the time they came into my life. I think unless your XH is totally and completely out of the picture and SO wants to adopt her, IMO she shouldn't call him Daddy, unless of course your X is OK with that.
I think it depends on the age that you started seeing SO. In your case DD is very little. It also depends on the involvement of the BD. I can't remember how much involvement your ex has.
I am also curious about this. I have started dating someone and, obviously, SD is not involved in the least in P's life. I wonder "what if" a lot. What if things were to work out with this guy (or another guy) who would be willing to take on P as his own. At what point in time would he start calling SO dad. I would want that but not until the time is right.
My ex is in and out sporadically. That's one of the reasons I fear she might feel left out if she doesn't have someone to call "daddy" like hypothetical future children. There is a possibility XH is headed for the slammer too.
SO and I have been together nearly a year. We're both confident marriage and kids is on the horizon. Maybe in another couple of years. No rush.
And yes, I love that he's her 'Awesome' and that will probably be pretty special to her later in life. But I can see a small child being sad about not getting to call the man of the house "daddy" when the smaller children do. Or feeling left out. Especially if her bio dad continues to make very little effort to be a part of her life.
My step dad came into my life when I was 6. We got to call him Anything that started with the letter D (his name started with that) After we all moved in together my mom said that if we didn't call him Dad it would hurt his feelings. I cannot even tell you how wrong I think this is. To this day I still don't call him ANYTHING and I completely resent the fact that I was forced into it. My Dad was never in my life either though. Just be super careful. Maybe I'm just sensitive about this because I've been so uncomfortable with that for as long as I remember.
I have been with the boyfriend for over a year now. L has always called him "Friend". Now whenever we are around either of our families, the BF is referred to as "Friend".
It is terribly cute. "Friend, will you play with me?" " I want Friend to sit next to me" "Friend, will you read me a book?" "I love you, Friend"
My girls now call their father "Dad" (which is funny - they now call me "Mom"). They call my bf by his name, "Eddie", but sometimes Natalie calls him "Deddie", and the way Audrey says it it sounds like "Eh-eee".
If the birth father is at all involved int he kid's life, I don't think it is ever appropriate to have your kid call someone else dad. A special nickname that the kid comes up with is fine if they are old enough. For example, my ex-h and his sisters called their stepdad "pops" and their stepmom "auntie" (in their culture you call anyone you respect in the generation above you "auntie").
My ex-h and I had a discussion about this when we both started dating again. We agreed that no one would ever be called "mom" or "dad" by our son, but us. I was actually very upset about the thought of it, and ex-h said no way no how will that ever happen. In fact, to reinforce it, he and ds made me a photo album of all pics of me and ds for Christmas, and on the last page they wrote something about how I am and always will be ds' one and only mommy.
Most people I know who have step parents call them by their first name.