Years between 1st LO and trying for a 2nd?

QuigleyCat1 · January 2011

DH and I have one LO right now. We plan to wait until DS is at least 2 before ttc another. As long as we wait until then (or later) I would be 35 when he or she is born (assuming not trouble with ttc). My question is, did any of you "think" you'd be ready by a certain time then decide to wait even longer for a 2nd LO? I know it's our decision to make but wondering how you and SO's dealt with the decision of when to really begin ttc again. I just have feelings of wanting to have it be "just us three" for awhile longer and then on the other hand wanting be be closer to my mid 30's rather than late 30's to have our second child. I know this sounds so wishy-washy and I'm sorry for that. Just wondering if anyone had the same feelings and how you dealt with them to make that decision. Thanks so much!

Pesky · January 2011

I was 35 when DD was born. We wanted to keep open the option for #3 preferably before I was 40 so we opted for a 2yr age gap, give or take (ended up being exact). We weren't "ready" but knew that waiting would likely decide the #3 option for us. We decided more on timing that the thought of having another child to care for and altering your relationship with your DS. If you based it on that, you might never be ready!

rsd12 · January 2011

I thought we would be done at 2. Especially with how horrible my 2nd pregnancy was & our first having a birth defect. It actually just made me want another child. Which is why we have 3 boys 3 1/2 yrs apart & now I would love another one since we already have a fun & chaotic household! I know that is not what you are looking for, but I just knew that I was not done & we did space them closer together because of our age.. & here I want one more too when it is older than the point I ever imagine ; )

LyndaCarter · January 2011

There are no guarantees in life, but here is what I was thinking and what happened to me.

I wanted to be done having kids by the time I was 36. I turned 36 in March of 2010.

I wanted my kids to be 2 to 2.5 years apart in age so I got pregnant in August 2009. I miscarried in October. Got pregnant again in December. My girls are 2 years and 9 months apart.

So, I'm not too far off from my original goals.

SFAug07 · January 2011

I was 38 when DD was born. We started trying when she was 6 months old and it took us 9 months to get pregnant. They will be exactly 2 years apart and that's perfect for us. I'll be 40 when this baby is born and we'll be done then.

stever · January 2011

We plan on trying for another in a year... when I'll be 38. Yoiks!

QuigleyCat1 · January 2011

Thank you all for your kind responses and sharing your stories. Thank you so much!

Peppernut · January 2011

I'd have liked a bigger gap between babies, but I'm pushing 43 and I just don't have that kind of time.

brennrobert · January 2011

I thought I'd be ready to TTC #2 when DD was 2, but when she hit that, I just wasn't ready to share that time with her yet. I had a rough pg with her and couldn't fathom a 2 year old and another rough pg. I was bed-rested off and on, had pubic pain starting at 13 weeks and could barely walk, etc. She just turned 3 and while I think I'm ready, we're waiting a few more months. I've just started a new business and want to get it up and running, plus at this point we may as well wait the few months so that DH will be graduated and we'll have his med insurance kick in before delivery vs. our HUGE deductible. I have a hard time knowing that it's going to take away from my 1:1 time with my daughter, so that's played a big role in my waiting.

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