Community› The Bump Message Boards› 3rd Trimester
3rd Trimester
New Discussion

Unsolicited baby raising advice from those who don't want babies. VENT.

AnnyongAnnyong
in 3rd Trimester

So this weekend was full of advice. "Why aren't you drinking at all? My sister-in-law drank like 3 glasses of wine a night and my niece is totally awesome." And "you need to join a mommy group, my friend can't live without it." And my all time favorite, "you're raising him bilingual right? OK, good, you need to do what X and Y did with their baby, and you can never speak a word of English to him ever." Well, I grew up unintentionally bilingual and I did fine with both languages spoken at home, I just think speaking to him strictly in one language while young should do the trick and then we can offer both. "NO, you don't understand, he will not learn if you do that." Well, but i learned. "Well, but you were supported." Um, what?

Anyone else sick and tired of people sharing their infinite wisdom about how you need to do things when 1-they don't have LOs, and 2-don't plan on it? Like, I've read books, done my research and open to advice, but at least from someone who's done the same. I just got another text from another well--intentioned but starting to annoy me friend who suggested that I bank not donate my LO's cord blood. Um what? Are you paying for it? OK, vent over.

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Unsolicited baby raising advice from those who don't want babies. VENT.

  • erbearerbear member
    Meh. Everyone has an opinion. I tend to just ignore them and say "oh, thanks". Not worth making a fuss about
    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • LifesPeachyLifesPeachy member
    That is annoying, wow. "You were well supported" Like you wouldn't support your child as well. They all suck.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Second Birthday tickers

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
  • 2bejunebride062bejunebride06 member
    Yeah it is definitely annoying, but not much you can do about it either.  My absolute favorite was a girl who has no kids (or intentions of having kids in the near future) saying to me "Wow, your life is really going to change.  Babies change everything", 5 MONTHS after DD was born.  Noshit, really?  Well I just don't believe it...oh wait, I'm living it!
    Report Reply
  • FallBabezFallBabez
    People suck. They don't know when to shut their traps. Zip it!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • beeunitbeeunit member
    I have a friend who does not plan on having children and who is only exposed to them at Christmas time, and she always says "I'm not going to be that annoying person who gives you advice..only if you ask for it".  Why would I be asking you?
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • KittahMamaKittahMama

    i find the more annoying ones are people with kids. 

    image Momma to Ms. C age 16 months and Mr. C age 3 months!
    Report Reply
  • LadyXaverianLadyXaverian member
    I'm not a fan of the unsolicited advice no matter who it's coming from (i.e. whether they have kids/have been pregnant or not). Like a PP, though, I tend to just smile and nod and ignore (if I'm not a fan of the advice).
    image
    Our sweet girl is 3!


    Lilypie - (R7Ux)


    Report Reply
  • misskassielynnmisskassielynn member
    Tell them (whomever is giving you advice about languages) that linguists know for a fact that babies can differentiate between languages, they don't need your help, or for you to speak exclusively one language, all they need is exposure. In this area, they kick our butts!
    Photobucket Martian Martins Blog
    Report Reply
  • AACraven85AACraven85 member
    imageKittahMama:

    i find the more annoying ones are people with kids. 

    This exactly. I get a lot of people that think I'm being unrealistic and will totally see the light about how crazy I am to think I can breastfeed for a year, cloth diaper and use glass baby bottles. Apparently no one survived before the invention of formula, disposable diapers and plastic.

     

    Report Reply
  • greyt00greyt00 member
    I would say, "It's under control" and try to ignore them.  With this you avoid answering their question, drop a hint that you DON'T CARE what they think, and it's still polite.  But then again I love giving odd, awkward responses to stupid, annoying comments.

     
    Report Reply
  • OctGirl80OctGirl80 member
    imageAACraven85:
    imageKittahMama:

    i find the more annoying ones are people with kids. 

    This exactly. I get a lot of people that think I'm being unrealistic and will totally see the light about how crazy I am to think I can breastfeed for a year, cloth diaper and use glass baby bottles. Apparently no one survived before the invention of formula, disposable diapers and plastic.

     

     

    This is me too. SIL & DH's BF are #1 culprits. I always get eyerolls & "good luck with that" when I say we're hoping to BF & we're going to try cloth diapers. I know it may not work out, but we're going to try. Can you not tell me it's going to fail before LO is even here?! You'd think that being parents already, they'd know every baby is different.

    CafeMom Tickers
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Life with Blog
    Report Reply
  • AnnyongAnnyong

    imageerbear:
    Meh. Everyone has an opinion. I tend to just ignore them and say "oh, thanks". Not worth making a fuss about

    Yeah, I've definitely noticed the opinion thing most while being preggo. It's not that they offer advice and opinion that bugs me, it's how strongly they feel about it. Either way, I just nod and say OK most of the time, because I really am not interested and not confrontational. Anyways, glad/sad to see that many of us are the recipients of such awesomeness. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"