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Stay at Home Moms
Kitten80
member
While we are talking thank you cards, update
Kitten80
member
Thank you note related. Some of may remember this summer when I was posting about my friend who was married 2 years ago on destination and they were doing a "home" vow renewal that turned into a full-blown wedding this year.
Summary of the backstory if you are interested (if not skip below to "update"): The situation basically went as follows:
1) we gave them a very nice gift at the time (as had a lot of friends, I believe - they had also bought a house right before they got married and had gotten house warming gifts from us as well) and she just kept talking about her registry and invited people I know she doesn't like to shower/wedding so it seemed to be about gifts.
2) they had a full out shower with a huge registry of expensive items, but no party favors for the attendees or shower decorations. It seemed to be all about the gifts. (oh, and she failed to mention my brother's ex-fiance would be sitting right next to me - a heads up before she walked in and sat down would have been nice because we were both a little surprised)
3) she had an all-out City Bar Hopping Bacholorette party (remember: she is married 2 years!) and knowing DH was unemployed 5 months, her MOH said "if you only drink the minimum and pay your part of the limo, it should be cheap like $100 dollars or so" and then proceeded to send out info that "Everyone is to bring a pair of panities to give the bride on the way down that she WILL love and wear" (and I know that she only wears V.Secret panties). Not "if you would like to participate" but "you must" or "don't come" was the vibe. They were completely wasted before they even left her place - at 4 in the afternoon.
4) They failed to mention in the invite the wedding ceremony was outside the venue (on the only cold and rainy weekend of Sept - and they started 25 minutes late while we sat out in the wind and rain)
5) The wedding "favor" for the "guests": she wanted to run in a local race that was booked up so she had to make a $250 donation to enter late - so she used the "favor" money to enter the race. The girls at my table entered with her and told everyone that was the "donation" made - a race entry because she didn't enter in time.
6) After the wedding, they still "haven't been available to hang out". Okay, they don't have kids and live a little bit away so I guess maybe that is it...
*****************UPDATE, thank you note related***************:
7) The week of Christmas I get a card from them. It has pre-printed address labels for all the address info (ours and theirs) like from a mail-merge. I think "oh, thats nice they sent a Christmas card". Well, they did.
*** Included in that same envelope was a PRE PRINTED picture postcard style (not even open the card style) card with "thank you for attending our wedding. It wouldn't have been as special without the presence of our family and friends. Love, The Couple".
Seriously??? It took you 3.5 months to send out pre-printed thank yous that you couldn't even sign and you were so cheap you stuck it in with your annual Christmas card?. Not a mention of the gift they received (which, was not cheap and took a lot of sacrifice for us considering DH was unemployed 6 months at that point), or personally signed or anything. Not one single personally written anything on envelope or cards. I am glad we didn't give them anymore time or gifts.
I feel so old saying this, as they are only a few years younger than us, but given my brother's fiance seems on a similar track, WHAT IS WITH "YOUNG PEOPLE" TODAY?!
Okay figured you might all enjoy the update to that saga as the original part went over so well (remember the I-have-been-married-10 years-and-all-my-stuff-is-broken-so-lets-have-an-anniversary-shower type jokes?) and we are on a thank you kick on this board lately! 
Thanks for letting me share the update/vent.
edit/addition: I think what really got me was this "wedding" clearly reeked of "gifts, gifts, gifts" greed, and then they couldn't even send proper thank yous. No thank you for shower gifts and a pre-printed belated thank you for the attending the wedding just seems ridiculous.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: While we are talking thank you cards, update
One particular family within my family apparently doesn't believe in thank you notes. Two wedding gifts for different cousins, baby shower and wedding shower gifts, and nothing.
From my point of view, at least you got something. You have all rights to be bothered by it, because it is crappy and cheap.
Oh yeah, don't feel alone in that. I haven't gotten thank yous from other friends and several family members (normally the family members who complain if mine don't arrive within 24 hours of the gift being opened). Go figure.
I just can't imagine sending a thank you like that...at least sign them yourself. I admit, it took me forever to get through all our thank yous because we were both working over 70 hours/week, taking full care of my grandmother (who lived 45 minutes away - we did all her errands, doctor's appts, food, yard and house work, etc), and helping out the rest of the family with things like moves/parties/etc. and there was a lot of politics in not being able to send to aunt x if I didn't send aunt y's so we had to hold them to send together - but I wrote a personal thank you note to every single person. Even to people who did not give a gift, but attended the wedding. It included the gift they gave us and how we used it and a personal "note" of whatever kind. They were hand addressed and mailed. And my shower thank yous were sent the day of the shower (I never got a thank you for the shower gift from this same friend.) So no thank you for the shower, and a belated pre-printed thank you for the wedding. I hope they are done holding gift-giving occassions, because I am done giving them gifts. And picking them up at the airport at 3 am.
I remember this! And holy tacky on a bunch of it! "Favor" money so she could enter a race? Yikes. One of the things that kills me is outdoor weddings in the fall/spring where they fail to mention the ceremony is outdoors! DH's cousin did that, it was windy, cloudy, chilly and we all froze. But the poor bridesmaids: strapless, tea length dresses, no wraps. Brrr!
The thank-you tops it though...people take the time to attend your wedding, buy a gift, etc. and you can't even put a pen to paper? It took us awhile to get our thank-yous out but they were ALL handwritten personal notes. Even the addresses. My cousin did the general Christmas card/thank you note and my aunt was so embarrassed she (quietly) apologized to anyone she ran into and who had received one.
DD#1 may think I'm an old fuddy-duddy but I nag her about thank-you notes!
DD#1~8/17/96------DS~10/24/05