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Attachment Parenting
Exhausted 5 month old...how to help him catch back up
Here's the back ground we did over a week of the 4 month wakefulness, then 1 1/2 weeks of late diagnosed ear infection, then over a week of horrible head/chest congestion. To say the least lil man has not had much sleep in over month. He was sleeping GREAT before all this, now I can't remember how I ever got him to sleep at all. I have been focusing on naps the past 5 days, b/c in all honesty it is the only time I have energy to put him back down 100 times. His naps are quickly going to crap too though. I'm also almost at the CIO point...though first I might try just letting him fuss. I'm of course exhausted, but I've been making it OK....my concern is seeing the dark circles under his eyes and the glazed over look. I miss my bouncing little boy. Right now DH is bouncing him back to sleep for the 3rd time on a 45 min nap. We get him up as soon as we hear him, but he is yawning, rubbing his eyes, and fussy...so we put him back down.
Prior to all this, he was waking once/twice from 9-8 to eat and going right back down in his crib. Now we are bedsharing, he's eating 10+ times a night, demanding an hour of play between 1 a.m - 3 a.m. and having to be bounced (on an exercise ball) after EVERY waking. Every night I consider CIO, but it just doesn't feel right. I have now read Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy baby (twice), The baby whisperer, and NCSS....All i have gathered from all this is we both really need sleep ; )
So ladies, will I be a horrible non AP mama if I let him fuss for a little in his own crib and go in just to pat his back and only offer the 2 feedings during the night (not letting him go more than 4 hours). I'm also considering putting him on a sleep schedule. My thoughts are if he can predict when nap time/bed time is coming every day he might have an easier time falling and staying asleep. I of course would 'schedule" this based on what his natural rhythms seem to be.
I'm sooooo exhausted that I'm now scared to BS, last night DH woke up and I had pulled the covers up above my waist and they were partly covering LO's head. Thankfully he is 5 months and squirmy enough to move them if they were a bother, but it scared me that I hadn't even noticed that I had done this. I've tried him in the PnP beside the bed, but he'll only sleep 5 min in there.
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Re: Exhausted 5 month old...how to help him catch back up
I'm so sorry, mama. It is really hard to be tired like that and have a tired, fussy baby! You have to do what you need to do to get some sleep, and I'm sure you'll only do what feels right to you.
FWIW, DD went through a stage at 5 months where she would only be bounced to sleep on the exercise ball too. It was soooo rough. I'm still not really sure what that was about. Around 7 months, she started hating the ball and only wanted to be rocked to sleep. Then it was she wanted to be walked to sleep. Now, she's teething, so we're all a mess, but she will, on occasion, go to sleep just because we lay down together. You'll get there.
I don't think sleep schedules are non-AP, either. DD seems to naturally follow a schedule, so I just cued in to that, fiddled around to find what worked, and we are on a pretty good nap schedule now.
This sounds exactly like my middle child. When he was 5 months old we were exhausted . I remember I called my husband one day to come home from work because I felt like I was on the edge of insanity.
The first thing I did was call my doctor. They told me to bring him in and they did a thorough check-up. I started keeping a sleep log to help identify his natural rhythms and I tried to get him on a schedule. I did some sleep training. I would nurse him, rock him until he was almost out, and then put him in his crib. He cried, but I stood right next to him patting him, rubbing his belly, and even putting my head down near his. If he got too wound up I would pick him up and start over. After three nights I was able to put him down sleepy without tears. I still stayed in his room until he went to sleep. In the middle of the night I always responded and held him because crying in the darkness is hard, but he was easier to soothe back to sleep. I also started giving him a paci. He wanted to nurse 10 times a night and I could not do it. At first he did not like it, but it quickly started soothing him. Good luck. I know it was a terrible time for me and my son. I hope it gets better for you soon.
I am so sorry you're going through this!
DD was very much the same way and so far the 5-7 month range has been the worst for us. I started laying down with her for naps. I discovered that if she got some good naps in she'd sleep better at night. Eventually we got her to where we could get her to sleep in her swing independently and took advantage of that for awhile.
I hope you find something that works!
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
I am pretty sure NCSS recommends both an early bedtime and the patting while fussing (not crying) solution. She is AP, so I wouldn't feel like I was not being AP following that idea. Naps are both harder to schedule and harder to "sleep train", so keep that in mind if you really plan on CIO. I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child too. While appreciate the idea that good sleep habits are important (because they are!), I just couldn't do the extinction method at all.
We just recently had 5 weeks of no sleep before we started implementing some of NCSS techniques to help ourselves get some more sleep and help DS learn how to fall asleep on his own. I am really amazed how well he has responded to it. We are doing a little pick-up/put-down and patting in the crib, but only at night. He is not ready for it during naps at all, so I still rock until he is asleep. However, his naps have finally lengthened and I have a feeling it is because he is less sleep deprived.
Good luck. The NCSS does take a while. She definitely doesn't claim it is a quick fix, unlike the CIO methods.
ETA: Also, you should do anything possible to get your LO to take as long as possible naps for a while. If that means holding him to for naps (which is what my DS needs sometimes), then do it. It is easier to work on night sleeping if your baby isn't overtired from bad naps all day.
I broke down and tried CIO during his last nap...I made it 2 minutes...yes that is right 120 seconds was all I could stand. My mommy instincts just won't let me. So we are going to try a sleep schedule and I had forgotten about the get him to nap at all costs (looks like my wrapping will be getting a lot of use), and maybe some pick up/put down. He did sleep for 1 1/2 hours during his 3rd nap..still fussy and tired, but hopefully an early bedtime will help.
Thank you ladies so much for the tips and the reminders that many babies have a tough time in the sleep department. I also really needed to hear another mama summarize some of their "tricks/tips" particularly from NCSS (it was the 1st one I read so it isn't as fresh in my head). I was thinking that I might even wrap him and bounce him during his 1 a.m. attempt to play session tonight. Maybe a few nights of that will help him stay asleep.
Thanks again ladies! What did mama's do before the AP bump board? : )
I highly recommend getting your baby checked by a chiropractor. You can ask around a health food store, or LLL to find one that other Momma's recommend. Sometimes with an ear infection, the cause can be a subluxated neck vertebrae... which in my experience, leads to crap sleep for baby (even after the ear infection is cleared up). Also... You said he had horrible congestion recently... If he was coughing at all, I'd get him checked. DD had bronchitis recently, and after I got her checked at the CP (chiropractor), she discovered one of her ribs was "out". A quick, painless adjustment and my baby girl who couldn't be laid down to sleep suddenly took 3 hour naps! It was marvelous, and she didn't wake up screaming anymore.
Things to consider: He may not be out of the 4 month wakeful yet. If he's waking that much at 1-3 am, I would think that he's not.
He may be teething... And sometimes you can't SEE anything when this is going on, but they are still in pain. Have you tried a dose of tylenol before bed to just make sure its not a pain thing?
I've not read the books that you have, but I know what sleep deprivation can be like. Could your DH take him for 3-5 hours and let you sleep, then switch?
Also, DD has went through various "stages" with her sleep. She used to nurse to sleep, then she used to rock to sleep, then she'd only go to sleep if I was laying down with her... I'd see if you could get him to sleep while wearing him, or let DH try rocking instead of you. I know it's exhausting! Sending sleepy dust your way!