Shower Drama

MommyJohn422 · January 2011

So my mom and sister are throwing my shower, but they haven't asked for my input on anything. I REALLY hate certain themes, and I think I've made myself clear, but what's the best way to check in with them and make sure that I actually like what they're putting together?

I don't want anything tacky like diaper poop games or homemade food or anything, I really want it to be a special occasion. Thoughts?

TIA!

EastCoastBride · January 2011

IT's a gift given to you. Yes, it would be nice if they took your opinions into account, but they don't have to. Sit back, relax, and be the gracious guest of honor.

OctGirl80 · January 2011

I had asked my host straight out not to do the diaper games since I think it's gross. She had never heard of them and when I explained, she thought it was gross as well and agreed not to do it. Everything else has been left in her hands.

Since you have already told them things that you didn't want, now you sit back and wait. They are putting it together for you. If they do something that you don't like, I'm sure it wasn't intentional and it won't be the end of the world. Ultimately, it's a shower being held in your honor. You don't get a say in how it's done. You go, visit with people, eat, open presents, say thank you and go home. Just appreciate the fact that they are going through all this work as a gesture of how much you mean to them.

(I'm confused why you think homemade food is tacky, but each to their own)

Disneygeek77 · January 2011

I'm confused too. What is wrong with home made food ?

I don't know I personally think that is going to far. A shower is a gift and you can't really dictate a gift as far as themes, food and games are concerned. It would be like your parents giving you a car when you turned 16 and then saying " Oh by the way it I really don't like 4 doors and I also don't want a green car."

DefiantRose · January 2011

stw_77:
I'm confused too. What is wrong with home made food ?

This. Some of the best dishes at showers are the ones that are homemade. I'd rather have homemade then store brought any day. The store brought goods are made for convenience not quality.

tlxh7 · January 2011

A shower is a gift. You can't dictate what's done - you've already given them your opinion, now you just have to accept what they do. I really disliked the games my MIL did for my bridal shower - they were embarrassing for me, and it made me really uncomfortable in front of people I'd never met. But, I sucked it up and was gracious because she was doing it as a gift to me.

Also, be happy someone is doing a shower for you. No one has said anything to me about having a shower - including my mom and sister.

annarborblue · January 2011

are you serious? no homemade food? that sounds so incredibly snotty and entitled ... these people are giving you a GIFT. maybe think about making it as convenient for them as possible, including as friendly as possible on their wallets. sheesh.

BetchySprout · January 2011

Huh?

miaomi · January 2011

annarborblue:
are you serious? no homemade food? that sounds so incredibly snotty and entitled ... these people are giving you a GIFT. maybe think about making it as convenient for them as possible, including as friendly as possible on their wallets. sheesh.

This...

Erina1004 · January 2011

DuckDuckGoose123 · January 2011

Another of the same question - what's wrong with homemade food?? I'm THRILLED that my mom will be cooking for my shower!

Corts · January 2011

If you don't want homemade food, feel free to call the fanciest caterer around and give them your visa number.

Were you the snotty kid in 5th grade who made her parents buy her $80.00 jeans?

SunDrop11 · January 2011

I can't stand hearing about girls stressing out over what may or may not happen at a shower that someone else has been gracious enough to throw for them. I can understand being worried about some issues, but stressing out over the theme or, heaven forbid, the thought of being served homemade food? Come on, OP.

My two best friends are hosting my shower in a couple weeks and haven't asked for my input at all. I'm excited to go and be appreciative of what they've come up with and enjoy myself!

MommyJohn422 · January 2011

The homemade food thing is just cheap, in my opinion. I get that a shower is expensive, but I don't understand why they'd offer to throw one if they weren't willing to spend the money to do it right. I don't want my friends and family to have to eat gross mac and cheese bakes and meatballs and backyard barbecue crap.

It's my special day, why wouldn't I want it to be nice. It reflects on me, and I don't want people to look at me or my family like we're cheap or poor. Obviously I'm not going to NOT have a shower, I just don't understand why someone would offer to do it if they're going to be half-@ssed about it.

JoBieger05 · January 2011

Wow. I'm just lurking, but you sound like a real catch.No homemade food? I wouldn't even bother throwing you a shower if you're going to be that stuck up about it.

JoBieger05 · January 2011

MommyJohn422:
The homemade food thing is just cheap, in my opinion. I get that a shower is expensive, but I don't understand why they'd offer to throw one if they weren't willing to spend the money to do it right. I don't want my friends and family to have to eat gross mac and cheese bakes and meatballs and backyard barbecue crap.
It's my special day, why wouldn't I want it to be nice. It reflects on me, and I don't want people to look at me or my family like we're cheap or poor. Obviously I'm not going to NOT have a shower, I just don't understand why someone would offer to do it if they're going to be half-@ssed about it.

Some of the best food is homemade. I would be grateful that someone actually wanted to throw a shower and shut up real quick. It takes a he!! of a lot more time and energy to make homemade food. Or do you think that it just poofs into the kitchen? Someone actually has to MAKE it. And BUY the ingredients.

Yellow_Daisy · January 2011

MommyJohn422:
The homemade food thing is just cheap, in my opinion. I get that a shower is expensive, but I don't understand why they'd offer to throw one if they weren't willing to spend the money to do it right. I don't want my friends and family to have to eat gross mac and cheese bakes and meatballs and backyard barbecue crap.
It's my special day, why wouldn't I want it to be nice. It reflects on me, and I don't want people to look at me or my family like we're cheap or poor. Obviously I'm not going to NOT have a shower, I just don't understand why someone would offer to do it if they're going to be half-@ssed about it.

I'm sorry but you are a spoiled brat! I can't believe you have friends and that they are willing to throw a shower for you.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a shower with homemade food. The fact that your hostess wants to take the time to make food rather than just order it up shows that they like you enough to invest the time. I have never been to a shower or thrown a shower with store bought food, to me that is just the easy way out for someone who doesn't want to spend the time. At all of those showers with homemade food there have been lovely food choices and most of the time people are asking for the recipes. I think you really need to get your priorities straight, figure out how to scrape up some graciousness and stop acting like a pretentious snob.

Erina1004 · January 2011

MommyJohn422:

The homemade food thing is just cheap, in my opinion. I get that a shower is expensive, but I don't understand why they'd offer to throw one if they weren't willing to spend the money to do it right. I don't want my friends and family to have to eat gross mac and cheese bakes and meatballs and backyard barbecue crap.

It's my special day, why wouldn't I want it to be nice. It reflects on me, and I don't want people to look at me or my family like we're cheap or poor. Obviously I'm not going to NOT have a shower, I just don't understand why someone would offer to do it if they're going to be half-@ssed about it.

I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure your hostesses will realize soon enough how ungrateful you are and probably cancel it anyway.

OctGirl80 · January 2011

MommyJohn422:
The homemade food thing is just cheap, in my opinion. I get that a shower is expensive, but I don't understand why they'd offer to throw one if they weren't willing to spend the money to do it right. I don't want my friends and family to have to eat gross mac and cheese bakes and meatballs and backyard barbecue crap.
It's my special day, why wouldn't I want it to be nice. It reflects on me, and I don't want people to look at me or my family like we're cheap or poor. Obviously I'm not going to NOT have a shower, I just don't understand why someone would offer to do it if they're going to be half-@ssed about it.

Wow, sorry, but not everyone is made of money. I hope that no one going to your shower knows how you really feel. I certainly wouldn't put any effort for someone who feels so entitled to something that is a privilege. Talk about ungrateful.

And FYI, it reflects on your host, not you. It shows they actually care about you. A bit misplaced, IMO.

I'm with KDodge. I hope you get homemade food and diaper games.

liza0828 · January 2011

This can't be real.

Please tell me this is MUD.

Corts · January 2011

Um, don't know where you are from (Beverly Hills, maybe) but around here standard baby shower food is baked ziti, sausage & peppers, meatballs, tossed salad & french bread. We all love it & it doesn't make anyone look poor or reflect badly on the guest of honor.

To each their own I guess.

Erina1004 · January 2011

Corts:

Um, don't know where you are from (Beverly Hills, maybe) but around here standard baby shower food is baked ziti, sausage & peppers, meatballs, tossed salad & french bread. We all love it & it doesn't make anyone look poor or reflect badly on the guest of honor.

To each their own I guess.

She's probably from a really Klassy trailer park.

Sherrie88 · January 2011

Are you for real MommyJohn? You are coming across as a completely spoiled brat. But obviously, since you're NOT going to not have a shower, that means you'd throw it for yourself anyway. Kudos on your tackiness -- I give you a gold star.

In the meantime, as you don't like homemade food -- and *GASP* it would make people look at you as being cheap or poor! (Grow up already.) -- I hope your friends don't waste their time planning and cooking a shower menu, and instead order some Papa John's pizza and a Costco sheet cake.

As they say, be careful what you wish for.

SunDrop11 · January 2011

MommyJohn422:
The homemade food thing is just cheap, in my opinion. I get that a shower is expensive, but I don't understand why they'd offer to throw one if they weren't willing to spend the money to do it right. I don't want my friends and family to have to eat gross mac and cheese bakes and meatballs and backyard barbecue crap.
It's my special day, why wouldn't I want it to be nice. It reflects on me, and I don't want people to look at me or my family like we're cheap or poor. Obviously I'm not going to NOT have a shower, I just don't understand why someone would offer to do it if they're going to be half-@ssed about it.

I fail to see how someone taking the time out of their lives to make a bunch of homemade dishes for your shower is being "half-@assed about it." To me, that would be more like running out to the grocery store to get a veggie tray, some cheese, and a box of crackers.

EastCoastBride · January 2011

I'm actually going to vote for MUD on this one.

akl0506 · January 2011

DefiantRose:

stw_77:
I'm confused too. What is wrong with home made food ?

This. Some of the best dishes at showers are the ones that are homemade. I'd rather have homemade then store brought any day. The store brought goods are made for convenience not quality.

This. Unless a shower is catered by a VERY good place, I'd rather eat homemade. Most other options just taste like chemicals.

To the OP: I can't be as kind as the others. Get over yourself. You are being given a shower, be grateful and lovely. And, no one is going to remember every detail of the shower. So, just relax.

JoBieger05 · January 2011

kdodge423:
EastCoastBride:
I'm actually going to vote for MUD on this one.

If it is, at least it is mildly entertaining MUD and they came back to play for once. I hate when they P&R. Takes away all the entertainment value.

Too bad she's gone now...I'm bored at work and this was keeping me somewhat entertained.

kristennd · January 2011

EastCoastBride:
I'm actually going to vote for MUD on this one.

Ditto. I can't wrap my head around anyone making that many amazingly extreme points in one post in real life. Not to mention the post count.

Totally designed to push buttons. Too blatantly, really.

rhubarb123 · January 2011

I'm curious to know what themes you would not/do not like?

I'm also curious as to what catered foods are more tasty than homemade?

If you think they should have catered food why don't you just tell your mom and sister that YOU will pay for the food so they don't have to work so hard. Not sure how big your shower is...but I've had a 50 guest shower catered and it was over $800 (and wasn't anything fancy either). That would buy a lot of diapers!

BBColt78 · January 2011

The post I read before this one was about a girl who is decorating her nursery for a baby that the doctors think may not live past birth.

Is homemade food and looking bad really the worst thing going on in your life? If so, you are one lucky gal.

Jenniferk08 · January 2011

Another vote for MUD. Although I'm not a game person so I can understand letting the host know you'd rather not have games. As for the home made food my mom is an amazing cook and had some great home made food at my shower. My aunts also made things which made me feel special.

And a few of my favorite presents were blankets/ sweaters/hats made by family members, plus the diaper cake my sister made me.

claytonswife2011 · January 2011

maybe its just me but isnt catered food the same as homemade food just made but a stranger instead of someone you know? or is it that people who would be cooking are bad cooks and you dont want to get sick at your shower...im sorry call me country but we have homemade food at all of our get togethers from bday parties, showers and even weddings...then again we are a really close family...and even though this is my 3rd pregnancy i have been happy with all my showers...even the one which was not what i had wanted the theme to be and none of my friends were invited i still was greatful for the shower and the gifts...sounds to me like someone needs to get the silver spoon out of her mouth and learn how to be greatful...

claytonswife2011 · January 2011

also i can't help but wonder if homemade food is tacky...i would hate to see how she would react to a homemade baby gift

MommyJohn422 · January 2011

rhubarb123:
I'm curious to know what themes you would not/do not like?

I HATE monkeys. For real.

Anyu2 · January 2011

I can't believe you guys are being so hard on this poor girl. She probably doesn't want people to think she's poor, because she is. And as for the homemade food, well all of the Velveeta might give her diarrhea and she'd rather stick to the higher quality foods, like Hot Pockets and Bagel Bites.

ajroemisch · January 2011

MommyJohn422:
So my mom and sister are throwing my shower, but they haven't asked for my input on anything. I REALLY hate certain themes, and I think I've made myself clear, but what's the best way to check in with them and make sure that I actually like what they're putting together?
I don't want anything tacky like diaper poop games or homemade food or anything, I really want it to be a special occasion. Thoughts?
TIA!

UMMMMMM...HELLO???!?!??!! Are you listening to yourself? You are being a little selfish! It is a GIFT to you!! You should be really grateful that they are doing this for you! You aren't supposed to plan it! Just suck it up and say thanks when it's over. You may actually enjoy your shower!

ajroemisch · January 2011

MommyJohn422:
The homemade food thing is just cheap, in my opinion. I get that a shower is expensive, but I don't understand why they'd offer to throw one if they weren't willing to spend the money to do it right. I don't want my friends and family to have to eat gross mac and cheese bakes and meatballs and backyard barbecue crap.
It's my special day, why wouldn't I want it to be nice. It reflects on me, and I don't want people to look at me or my family like we're cheap or poor. Obviously I'm not going to NOT have a shower, I just don't understand why someone would offer to do it if they're going to be half-@ssed about it.

Actually, dear, the day is about your CHILD (which I really feel sorry for) and not YOU! How sad that people want to do something nice for you and homemade food is a gift!!!! You are a peach and I really feel sorry for you! You don't know what you are missing out on because you are too focused on YOU! If you are wanting all that then maybe you should throw your own shower and see who all shows up!

ajroemisch · January 2011

Sherrie88:
Are you for real MommyJohn? You are coming across as a completely spoiled brat. But obviously, since you're NOT going to not have a shower, that means you'd throw it for yourself anyway. Kudos on your tackiness -- I give you a gold star.
In the meantime, as you don't like homemade food -- and *GASP* it would make people look at you as being cheap or poor! (Grow up already.) -- I hope your friends don't waste their time planning and cooking a shower menu, and instead order some Papa John's pizza and a Costco sheet cake.
As they say, be careful what you wish for.

OOOH! I'd totally go to her shower if she had Papa John's pizza!!!! I LOVE PJ!

melissa721 · January 2011

How about a thank you for someone giving your ungrateful @ss a shower anyway?

ManiacMcGee · January 2011

I threw a shower where I made all the food. It cost a lot of money and took A LOT of time.

People are still commenting on how delicious everything was and how great it was that I spent the time and effort to create something memorable instead of just ordering from some caterer.

onislandtime · January 2011

I'm actually quite surprised that someone likes you enough to throw you a shower! You sound awfully self entitled.

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