Controversy: Baby Wise vs. Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child

Mrsstick09 · January 2011

My cousin had a little girl and read the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, and her daughter is so happy.

My brother and his girlfriend had a little girl and read the same book. She is so happy as well but they are OVER THE TOP when it comes to her bed time.

Naturally I got the book and started reading it today. While I will continue to read it, I am NOT a fan already. I love that my niece and my cousins daughter are so happy but this book seems a little wacky to me. Has anyone else read it? What about Baby Wise? Just feel like Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child is entirely too strict when it comes to their bed time. My niece goes to sleep at 6-7 every night no matter what. Birthdays, get togethers with families, holidays, if it interferes with her bed time then we have to reschedule everything to fit that. I just find that bizarre. Your child will not DIE if they miss it by 30 minutes to an hour or heck, even later! Opinions?

justsarahg · January 2011

I don't know if I'll be *that* extreme when it comes to bedtime, but to be honest, the kid can't miss what it never had.

What I mean by that is, they're not going to expect to be able to stay up for birthdays or holidays if the rule is consistent: bedtime is bedtime always.

Allowing a little give-and-take when it comes to exceptions is something you'll have to decide for yourself, but I don't think it's harmful to follow what they suggest by any means.

MrsTotty · January 2011

I think it's WAYYYYY too early to start freaking out over sleep training when your kid is still in ute.

Baby Wise is hugely controversial ... google it.

We used Ferberism (Dr. Ferber wrote HSHHC) for our DS #1 at about 9 months I think? We didn't do it verbatim to what the book talks about, but we did do a form of CIO ... and actually still utilize it every once in a while even now as a toddler. Different things work for different kids ... you'll have to meet yours first to know what will and what won't work for them.

Sa039ra · January 2011

SIL is like that with her children (2 and 8 months). They go to bed at the same time every.single.night. They sleep 10-12 hours a night. I used to think it was a little militant, but now with one on the way, I think I'm on board.

~adamwife~ · January 2011

I've raised two horrible sleepers, so take my advice lightly. I don't even attempt to start sleep training my kids until tey are past 6 months because my babies are EBF and I feel they need to be eating through the night. My youngest didn't start solids until 11 months, so he needed the milk.

I bought every book under the son to help me train my babies to sleep - the ones you mentioned in OP and then some. None of them worked because of my inconsistency. I didn't feel good about letting my children cry to sleep.

I am, however, NUTS about naps. I refuse to mess with my childrens' nap schedules even to this day. There have been many family get togethers and other events on weekends that we have had to leave early or miss because I don't think it's fair for my kids to go without their nap or have to alter their routine.

Sleep is so important to the health of a person, especially children. And unfortunately, the less sleep you give a baby the less sleep they will get. You'd think that if you skip a nap or put a baby down later because you were busy they will just make up for it and sleep longer through the night or in the morning, but it never works that way (at least for my kids). When they are overtired they wake more through the night.

I say do whatever works for your family and forget about all of the books. Every child and every family has different needs.

Mrsstick09 · January 2011

MrsTotty:

I think it's WAYYYYY too early to start freaking out over sleep training when your kid is still in ute.

Baby Wise is hugely controversial ... google it.

We used Ferberism (Dr. Ferber wrote HSHHC) for our DS #1 at about 9 months I think? We didn't do it verbatim to what the book talks about, but we did do a form of CIO ... and actually still utilize it every once in a while even now as a toddler. Different things work for different kids ... you'll have to meet yours first to know what will and what won't work for them.

I only have this book because my mom bought it for me and said "start reading this NOW!" so since work is slow I did. Otherwise, I would have waited til long after the baby is here. Just wanted to grab some opinions of it. I agree that a consistant bed time is important but this book seems to be going a little overboard with everything. Just was wondering if Baby Wise had a more lenient approach to it all.

Thanks for sharing!

erbear · January 2011

I've read both and several others. Like all things parenting, I pick and choose parts of things that mesh with my innate parenting philosophy.

that said, HSHHC was the best book on sleep that I read. I don't do it religiously, but between months 4-7, I was pretty strict about her nap and bed time (my kid was colicky and thrived on routine). However, now (and since about 8 months), once she "learned" to sleep, she is much more flexible. If we're out past her "bedtime", she's fine. If she misses a nap, she might nap in the car or in a stroller, or she'll probably be ok.

Before you judge, have your own kid. Like I said, my kid thrives on routine. From the time when she was tiny and even a little now, when her schedule gets thrown off, she has a hard time...this is true of a lot of kids. Perhaps her kid is the same.

AshasaurusRex · January 2011

Until you have an outside baby, you won't understand the importance of a routine and strict bedtime. If DS misses his bedtime by 30 minutes it throws him off the entire next several days. He's waaaay more cranky, and harder to put down for naps and bedtimes. So I have to ask myself, is this one night of staying out later worth the three or four days it takes to get him back on his routine? It really never is. Also, DS's bedtime is 8:00, so that makes going out easier.

erbear · January 2011

MrsTotty:
I think it's WAYYYYY too early to start freaking out over sleep training when your kid is still in ute.
Baby Wise is hugely controversial ... google it.
We used Ferberism (Dr. Ferber wrote HSHHC) for our DS #1 at about 9 months I think? We didn't do it verbatim to what the book talks about, but we did do a form of CIO ... and actually still utilize it every once in a while even now as a toddler. Different things work for different kids ... you'll have to meet yours first to know what will and what won't work for them.

Marc Weissbluth wrote HSHHC (Ferber's book is called something about sleep problems...)

MrsTotty · January 2011

erbear:
MrsTotty:
I think it's WAYYYYY too early to start freaking out over sleep training when your kid is still in ute.
Baby Wise is hugely controversial ... google it.
We used Ferberism (Dr. Ferber wrote HSHHC) for our DS #1 at about 9 months I think? We didn't do it verbatim to what the book talks about, but we did do a form of CIO ... and actually still utilize it every once in a while even now as a toddler. Different things work for different kids ... you'll have to meet yours first to know what will and what won't work for them.
Marc Weissbluth wrote HSHHC (Ferber's book is called something about sleep problems...)

::headdesk::

You're right, my bad. It has been an insane day. My bad OP.

Jaylea · January 2011

My pedi recommended HSHHC. I bought it and read parts of it. I think the idea is good - you want kids to have a regular routine and expectations. But it's not in my makeup to be rigid with a routine and schedule.

We are the kind of parents that roll with it. My child is very adaptable, and can sleep anywhere, through anything. If she is up late, then she'll sleep later... or, at the very least, she's not out of whack for days or anything. She goes to bed at the same time most nights, but if we have something going on, she stays up.

Baby Wise has an awful reputation. I know some people swear by it, but I don't believe in rigid feeding schedules for newborns. Babies eat when they're hungry, and I can't see denying them a feeding because it's not the expected 3 hours later. Google the controversy -there's quite a bit with this book!

juliane2004 · January 2011

MrsTotty:
I think it's WAYYYYY too early to start freaking out over sleep training when your kid is still in ute.

I disagree. This is the perfect time. With DD, we didn't know about sleep training until 3 months old, so we had a rough few months.

Now, with DS, I knew exactly how I would be putting him to bed (fall asleep on his own, in his own crib, while swaddled and with a paci). I am so glad to have learned the info with DD and had a plan for DS before he was even born.

etude de la vie · January 2011

I read many of those books when DD was about 2 months old

Really you should NOT even think about sleep training before 3-4 Months.

I read healthy sleep habits, baby wise, the no cry sleep solution, Ferber, and Sleeping through the night by Mindell. Honestly they all have good and bad and when they say "each child is different" you don't realize how true it really is until you experience it.

I took a little from every book and found what worked for me. I couldn't let DD completely Cry it out (CIO) because her reflux was so bad already and crying caused her to get much much worse. I couldn't tell if she was crying in pain from reflux or because she wanted me back in the room. So I gave a short time limit... she had 5 minutes to CIO and after that we would go in and sooth her to sleep. I am not opposed to CIO and many of my family/friends have had great success with it.

My ultimate goal in the beginning was getting her to sleep in her crib for naps and nighttime and to not wake up as soon as I put her in the crib. After that my next goal was get her to go back to sleep if she woke herself up early (without nursing) and to get her out of the habit of 30 min catnaps all throughout the day. All of this was accomplished when she was almost 9 months old!

I agree with your bedtime example.... kids should learn to be resilient and flexible, but as I found out with DD she just can't. It doesn't matter if I put her to bed at 7 pm or 9 pm she will wake up at 5:15AM no matter what! She needs to go to bed early so she isn't a total crank in the morning.

Every one of those books taught me a lot and I highly recommend reading all of them. You will find what works for your child!

AACraven85 · January 2011

This is my first baby, so I guess my opinion doesn't mean much at this point, but I do not plan on enforcing specific bedtimes and nap times for baby. I am tired at different times each day to a different degree, and do not know why my baby would be any different. It's like hunger- sometimes you're super ravenous one day and the next you just don't feel like eating much. Trying to make things so hyper scheduled and structured seems a bit weird to me because not everyday is like the last.

That said, once LO is going to school and has to be up each morning we will have some rough guidelines to ensure they are rested enough for their school day. LO will probably be required to have PJ's on and be ready for bed at a certain time and start winding down for the night.

The 6-7 pm bedtime baffles me. My SIL puts my nephew to bed around these times, which I never understand because she doesn't even get home from work until after 5. This leaves hardly any time to interact with your kid during the week if you work full time. He's only 2 so it's not like he has to be on a specific schedule the next day (he's at home with his dad or gpa) so I'm not sure why they don't have him stay up a bit later, other than the fact that they want "me" time.

krys2729 · January 2011

i thought HSHHC was great in getting across a couple of key points that helped us decide what was most important. 1....that sleep is very important to a baby's/child's growth and development. and 2....that a baby does not know how to sleep and it is your responsibility to teach him or her how to fall asleep and stay asleep. the data and info in HSHHC made me feel like doing any sleep training was a favor i was providing my child. but like every morsel of parenting advice, take it with a grain of salt and adapt to your own specific child.

and from what i know, baby wise is all about not being flexible for your child's specific needs and getting and keeping them on a "schedule", so i did not even pick that up. from what i understood it was more about making a parent's life easier, not necessarily doing what was best for the child. not my cup of tea.

juliane2004 · January 2011

etude de la vie:
Really you should NOT even think about sleep training before 3-4 Months.

Again, I disagree. "Start as you mean to go on."

Since I want DS to sleep in his crib and fall asleep on his own, I put him in his crib and allowed him to fall asleep on his own from day 1 home from the hospital.

Never have I had to have him sleep in the swing, bouncy chair, or on my chest. He's always fallen asleep by himself (from an awake state) in his own space.

MrsTotty · January 2011

juliane2004:
MrsTotty:
I think it's WAYYYYY too early to start freaking out over sleep training when your kid is still in ute.
I disagree. This is the perfect time. With DD, we didn't know about sleep training until 3 months old, so we had a rough few months.
Now, with DS, I knew exactly how I would be putting him to bed (fall asleep on his own, in his own crib, while swaddled and with a paci). I am so glad to have learned the info with DD and had a plan for DS before he was even born.

Well, I disagree with your disagreement. I think trying to train a 3 month old to sleep on your schedule is pretty crappy. Most pediatricians don't recommend any kind of sleep training until at LEAST 4 months, and sometimes 6. She has plenty of time to worry about sleep training until then.

MrsTotty · January 2011

juliane2004:
etude de la vie:
Really you should NOT even think about sleep training before 3-4 Months.
Again, I disagree. "Start as you mean to go on."
Since I want DS to sleep in his crib and fall asleep on his own, I put him in his crib and allowed him to fall asleep on his own from day 1 home from the hospital.
Never have I had to have him sleep in the swing, bouncy chair, or on my chest. He's always fallen asleep by himself (from an awake state) in his own space.

WTF does 'start as you mean to go on' even mean??? So, you're going to have the same rules and regulations and schedule for your kid from the day he's born until he moves out at age 18? That's ridiculous. And to be honest, letting your kid CIO from day one as a newborn in CRUEL.

violetvirgo · January 2011

juliane2004:
etude de la vie:
Really you should NOT even think about sleep training before 3-4 Months.
Again, I disagree. "Start as you mean to go on."
Since I want DS to sleep in his crib and fall asleep on his own, I put him in his crib and allowed him to fall asleep on his own from day 1 home from the hospital.
Never have I had to have him sleep in the swing, bouncy chair, or on my chest. He's always fallen asleep by himself (from an awake state) in his own space.

wow. you do know that developmentally infants that young CANNOT self sooth right? i guess you know better than any expert though Confused

i will never understand why people have kids if they are just going to try to whip them into their perfect schedule. they are tiny infants...letting a 1 day old, or hell, a one week old CIO is fvcking cruel.

Pamela05 · January 2011

MrsTotty:
Well, I disagree with your disagreement. I think trying to train a 3 month old to sleep on your schedule is pretty crappy. Most pediatricians don't recommend any kind of sleep training until at LEAST 4 months, and sometimes 6. She has plenty of time to worry about sleep training until then.

But probably not plenty of time to read up on a variety of methods after the baby is born. What's wrong with researching it now and having time to talk through it with other people?

MrsTotty · January 2011

Pamela05:
MrsTotty:
Well, I disagree with your disagreement. I think trying to train a 3 month old to sleep on your schedule is pretty crappy. Most pediatricians don't recommend any kind of sleep training until at LEAST 4 months, and sometimes 6. She has plenty of time to worry about sleep training until then.
But probably not plenty of time to read up on a variety of methods after the baby is born. What's wrong with researching it now and having time to talk through it with other people?

I guess nothing, but it seems a little silly considering she has no idea what her baby will be like. She's freaking out over reading these books and sleep training when her kid might end up STTN at 6 weeks or something. I would say it would probably help for her to actually meet her kid in order for her know maybe which training method (if any) she should be researching and trying.

ncbelle · January 2011

I like Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution - more about developing good habits instead of "training" (and I'm admittedly against any version of CIO).

Newborns sleep on their own schedule - sure you can start bedtime routines but I've never been a fan of a strict sleep schedule. It's worked well for us to just watch kiddo's cues and aim for a general window for going down for bedtime and naps.

But for the first few months...baby totally sets the schedule ;-)

violetvirgo · January 2011

juliane2004:
MrsTotty:
I think it's WAYYYYY too early to start freaking out over sleep training when your kid is still in ute.
I disagree. This is the perfect time. With DD, we didn't know about sleep training until 3 months old, so we had a rough few months.
Now, with DS, I knew exactly how I would be putting him to bed (fall asleep on his own, in his own crib, while swaddled and with a paci). I am so glad to have learned the info with DD and had a plan for DS before he was even born.

uh...you did realize you were having a newborn right? i mean, newborns wake up often and you don't get to sttn. i thought it was common knowledge that's part of the package.

and i actually had a fine first few months and didn't resort to having my brand new baby - who had been warm and held for 9 months - cio just for my convenience.

Kiranie · January 2011

juliane2004:
etude de la vie:

Really you should NOT even think about sleep training before 3-4 Months.

Again, I disagree. "Start as you mean to go on."

Since I want DS to sleep in his crib and fall asleep on his own, I put him in his crib and allowed him to fall asleep on his own from day 1 home from the hospital.

Never have I had to have him sleep in the swing, bouncy chair, or on my chest. He's always fallen asleep by himself (from an awake state) in his own space.

iris427 · January 2011

I agree with everything Totty said in this thread. There's nothing wrong with learning about different methods now, but until you see what kind of kid you have, you can't really know which will work for you. When I was pregnant last time I read about different sleep methods and decided what would work best for us--well my kid had different ideas. And I ended up having to do a complete 180 from what I had planned.

That's parenting for you.

Tess12 · January 2011

MrsTotty:
juliane2004:
etude de la vie:
Really you should NOT even think about sleep training before 3-4 Months.
Again, I disagree. "Start as you mean to go on."
Since I want DS to sleep in his crib and fall asleep on his own, I put him in his crib and allowed him to fall asleep on his own from day 1 home from the hospital.
Never have I had to have him sleep in the swing, bouncy chair, or on my chest. He's always fallen asleep by himself (from an awake state) in his own space.
WTF does 'start as you mean to go on' even mean??? So, you're going to have the same rules and regulations and schedule for your kid from the day he's born until he moves out at age 18? That's ridiculous. And to be honest, letting your kid CIO from day one as a newborn in CRUEL.

Exactly. Unless she's planning to have her 10 year old sleep swaddled in a crib with a pacifier, she might want to broaden her expectations a bit.

It isn't a developmentally appropriate expectation to want a 3 day old baby to sleep alone in a crib for the whole night. Maybe the occasional baby will do that without much trouble, but it isn't really the norm.

It's unrealistic to make parenting decisions based on future trouble that you may have. "Oh, I don't want the baby in my room because it's going to be too much trouble to move him later." Well, maybe it will take him a few days to get used to a new room, but it's a hell of a lot easier in the beginning to have the baby nearby for feedings. Do you really want to add to your own sleeplessness and trouble at the time when you most need sleep because you just might be avoiding a problem later?

MrsTotty · January 2011

Tess12:

It's unrealistic to make parenting decisions based on future trouble that you may have. "Oh, I don't want the baby in my room because it's going to be too much trouble to move him later." Well, maybe it will take him a few days to get used to a new room, but it's a hell of a lot easier in the beginning to have the baby nearby for feedings. Do you really want to add to your own sleeplessness and trouble at the time when you most need sleep because you just might be avoiding a problem later?

I don't think I'll put diapers on this next kid. That way, I don't have to worry about potty training at 2 ... right?

/sarcasm

Kiranie · January 2011

juliane2004:
etude de la vie:

Really you should NOT even think about sleep training before 3-4 Months.

Again, I disagree. "Start as you mean to go on."

Since I want DS to sleep in his crib and fall asleep on his own, I put him in his crib and allowed him to fall asleep on his own from day 1 home from the hospital.

Never have I had to have him sleep in the swing, bouncy chair, or on my chest. He's always fallen asleep by himself (from an awake state) in his own space.

My DD slept on my chest for her morning nap from 3 weeks to 6 weeks. Its one of my favorite memories I have of her from when she was a newborn. I enjoyed having her close to me, and was sad when she wanted to move to her bassinet to nap.

I agree with Totty...its cruel to sleep train such a new baby. They need time to adjust to outside world. Yes, it can be difficult, but its your responsibility to teach your child to sooth. Your kid shouldn't have to figure it out themselves.

iris427 · January 2011

juliane2004:
MrsTotty:
I think it's WAYYYYY too early to start freaking out over sleep training when your kid is still in ute.
I disagree. This is the perfect time. With DD, we didn't know about sleep training until 3 months old, so we had a rough few months.

A rough few months? I'm pretty sure that's called Having a New Baby.

jolis_petits_bijoux · January 2011

juliane2004:
etude de la vie:

Really you should NOT even think about sleep training before 3-4 Months.

Again, I disagree. "Start as you mean to go on."

Since I want DS to sleep in his crib and fall asleep on his own, I put him in his crib and allowed him to fall asleep on his own from day 1 home from the hospital.

Never have I had to have him sleep in the swing, bouncy chair, or on my chest. He's always fallen asleep by himself (from an awake state) in his own space.

Indifferent Say what?? Are you saying you started CIO at birth? Please tell me I'm misunderstanding what you're saying.

Tess12 · January 2011

MrsTotty:
Tess12:

It's unrealistic to make parenting decisions based on future trouble that you may have. "Oh, I don't want the baby in my room because it's going to be too much trouble to move him later." Well, maybe it will take him a few days to get used to a new room, but it's a hell of a lot easier in the beginning to have the baby nearby for feedings. Do you really want to add to your own sleeplessness and trouble at the time when you most need sleep because you just might be avoiding a problem later?
I don't think I'll put diapers on this next kid. That way, I don't have to worry about potty training at 2 ... right?
/sarcasm

And forget about bottles and baby food. Start him on steak and beer immediately, so you won't have the inconvenience of teaching him to eat real food later on. As I always say, start as you mean to go.

ksayles · January 2011

juliane2004:
Again, I disagree. "Start as you mean to go on."
Since I want DS to sleep in his crib and fall asleep on his own, I put him in his crib and allowed him to fall asleep on his own from day 1 home from the hospital.
Never have I had to have him sleep in the swing, bouncy chair, or on my chest. He's always fallen asleep by himself (from an awake state) in his own space.

Please clarify. Did you let your newborn CIO? Or are you just saying that he has slept in his crib?

Fordlor · January 2011

To the OP, I recommend the book The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. I read it when I was still pregnant with DD1 and I found it very helpful. As a first time mom, I had no idea what I was doing. It helped give me a gameplan on how to handle naps, bedtimes,activitity times and feeding routines (notice, I said routine and not schedule) especially for those first few months. It also advocates starting out as you mean to go. For example, DH and I knew that we didn't want to co-sleep or keep our baby in our room for months on end. So for the first three weeks we had both DDs sleep in a bassinet in our room. After that, we moved them to the crib in their own rooms. That said, if things weren't working we wouldn't have had any problems adapting our game plan.

Flexibility and an open mind are key to being new parents. Sometimes you have to go with the flow- but it's nice to have an idea of what you are doing and how you want things to be.

And to the person who is perplexed as to why her SIL puts her LOs to bed so early. Ha! You try keeping an overtired baby/toddler awake when they don't want to be. Yeah, all hell breaks loose. Good luck with that. lololololol.

Mrsstick09 · January 2011

Let me make one thing clear...

I AM NOT FREAKING OUT!

I was GIVEN this book to start reading, work in a very slow business, and was simply asking a question after reading a couple of chapters. If that means I am freaking out, then Lord have mercy. I am so far from the person that buys books on parenting, reads articles about why things are dangerous, etc. I am just not that type to get all caught up in it. I just wanted to get some opinions on the books everyone else had read and if anyone else had the same opinion. Chill!

People have different parenting skills. I do not ridicule or fault my brother and his girlfriend for keeping this strict schedule. It WORKS for them. Don't ridicule other people based on what they have chosen to do.

I have NO idea how I will raise my child. On anything. Sleeping, eating, night time routines, etc. So for those that think I have it all planned out and it will all go out the window, you're wrong. I may be a first time mother but I am not stupid. I understand every child is different. I simply am reading for my own benefit. Who knew it would be such an issue with some of you???

lovemytwoboys · January 2011

AACraven85:
The 6-7 pm bedtime baffles me. My SIL puts my nephew to bed around these times, which I never understand because she doesn't even get home from work until after 5. This leaves hardly any time to interact with your kid during the week if you work full time. He's only 2 so it's not like he has to be on a specific schedule the next day (he's at home with his dad or gpa) so I'm not sure why they don't have him stay up a bit later, other than the fact that they want "me" time.

You do know that some children prefer/need earlier bedtimes than others, right? Both of my boys have always gone to bed early. It used to be between 6:30-7, and now it is around 7:30. It baffles me that some kids stay up until 10pm, but that is because my boys would never in a million years adapt to that type of schedule. They are exhausted when bedtime rolls around. You can't just keep your child up to suit your needs. I'm sure your SIL knows her child and knows when he is tired.

tmp-493670500007520 · January 2011

Why does ANYONE expect a baby to know how to soothe or fall asleep or anything? A newborn/infant cries to send NOTICE to their caregiver that they need something. Sometimes, thats just being held and being assured that mom/dad/caregiver is close by.

Babies are hard work. Some of them sleep, some of them don't. Sleep training methods vary... but I find it hard to even read when people talk about leaving new babies in their cribs to cry just because they THINK they won't learn to sleep.

FWIW, My child was a routine child. Until about 15 months old, if we deviated too far off bedtime, it was misery for him. My son sleeps 12-13 hours a night and has done so since he was about 7 months old. Before that... despite the fatigue and the stress and overall hard work... I didn't feel comfortable NOT helping him learn to soothe and sleep.

MrsTotty · January 2011

Mrsstick09:
Let me make one thing clear...
I AM NOT FREAKING OUT!
I was GIVEN this book to start reading, work in a very slow business, and was simply asking a question after reading a couple of chapters. If that means I am freaking out, then Lord have mercy. I am so far from the person that buys books on parenting, reads articles about why things are dangerous, etc. I am just not that type to get all caught up in it. I just wanted to get some opinions on the books everyone else had read and if anyone else had the same opinion. Chill!
People have different parenting skills. I do not ridicule or fault my brother and his girlfriend for keeping this strict schedule. It WORKS for them. Don't ridicule other people based on what they have chosen to do.
I have NO idea how I will raise my child. On anything. Sleeping, eating, night time routines, etc. So for those that think I have it all planned out and it will all go out the window, you're wrong. I may be a first time mother but I am not stupid. I understand every child is different. I simply am reading for my own benefit. Who knew it would be such an issue with some of you???

Ok, you're not freaking out. Whatever you say.

But you DO sound like you're ridiculing/judging your brother for how they have raised their kid(s). So sorry, I don't buy that. Just like you get to judge them, I get to judge people who put their newborn in a crib and let them 'learn' how to self sooth at 3 days old.

And BTW - I would absolutely suggest you DO 'buy books on parenting, read articles about why things are dangerous, etc' ... that's called good parenting. But whatever.

Tess12 · January 2011

Mrsstick09:
Who knew it would be such an issue with some of you???

Ha, ha. Welcome to The Bump.

iris427 · January 2011

Mrsstick09:
Let me make one thing clear...
I AM NOT FREAKING OUT!
I was GIVEN this book to start reading, work in a very slow business, and was simply asking a question after reading a couple of chapters. If that means I am freaking out, then Lord have mercy. I am so far from the person that buys books on parenting, reads articles about why things are dangerous, etc. I am just not that type to get all caught up in it. I just wanted to get some opinions on the books everyone else had read and if anyone else had the same opinion. Chill!
People have different parenting skills. I do not ridicule or fault my brother and his girlfriend for keeping this strict schedule. It WORKS for them. Don't ridicule other people based on what they have chosen to do.
I have NO idea how I will raise my child. On anything. Sleeping, eating, night time routines, etc. So for those that think I have it all planned out and it will all go out the window, you're wrong. I may be a first time mother but I am not stupid. I understand every child is different. I simply am reading for my own benefit. Who knew it would be such an issue with some of you???

It sure sounds like you are freaking out here. Who called you stupid in this post?

juliane2004 · January 2011

violetvirgo:
juliane2004:
etude de la vie:
Really you should NOT even think about sleep training before 3-4 Months.
Again, I disagree. "Start as you mean to go on."
Since I want DS to sleep in his crib and fall asleep on his own, I put him in his crib and allowed him to fall asleep on his own from day 1 home from the hospital.
Never have I had to have him sleep in the swing, bouncy chair, or on my chest. He's always fallen asleep by himself (from an awake state) in his own space.
wow. you do know that developmentally infants that young CANNOT self sooth right? i guess you know better than any expert though
i will never understand why people have kids if they are just going to try to whip them into their perfect schedule. they are tiny infants...letting a 1 day old, or hell, a one week old CIO is fvcking cruel.

The thing is he doesn't cry to sleep. There is no cry it out. If he fusses, I'll give him his paci. If he starts to cry, I try to figure out what's wrong (hungry? dirty diaper? dropped his paci?).

I don't let him CIO.

violetvirgo · January 2011

and i'm laughing at the early bedtime judging.

uh...dd STTN from 6 weeks on and went down between 6:30 and 7pm every night. if for some reason she went down later, she was up at least once or twice during the night. seems to me that 6:30-7 was a good bedtime, no?

it wasn't until recently (like in the last 4 months) that she, as a 2 year old, went to bed past 7:30. so...yeah. that's just funny.

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Controversy: Baby Wise vs. Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child

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