Call me petty, but this pisses me off!

missfire · January 2011

A few weeks ago, my OB scheduled a C-section date for me, for Valentine's Day. (The babies are breech.) I found out yesterday when an L&D nurse called me about my admittance paperwork, and told my OB today that I want to change it. It turns out that now, the day after is booked, my OB is out the week before and a few days after, and they say there's no other time to schedule it.

My twins are always going to be sharing their birthday with each other -- it just sucks to also share it with a holiday. At school, everyone will be focused on giving out valentines. Later, they'll always have to remember to call their brother/sister on a day that is supposed to be romantic. DH and I will probably never go out on Valentine's Day again, since leaving them with a sitter on their birthday just seems mean. Oh yeah, and this year for Valentine's Day, I get to be cut open - yay!

I guess now it's up to my babies, that if they want to veto that birthday, they need to get their butts in gear and flip head-down, or send me into labor early. I'm just wondering why a doctor would schedule a C-section on a holiday without even asking the patient? Don't people usually get a say in their scheduling, if it's done so far in advance?

StellarStina26 · January 2011

You are not petty! I would be so angry. I have issues with my birthday (Jan 10th) being even close to Christmas. I never got separate presents for each. I would NEVER plan my baby to be born on a holiday. My boyfriend's sister said she hates her birthday on the Fourth of July. I can't believe they wouldn't give you a say!!!

pregaftertubal · January 2011

first, you have to remember that to a dr. every day is the same. they don't really recongize holidays.

second, i think it's kind of cool to have a birthday on a holiday. this has been my experience, and don't we always want what we don't have:) but i was born in august and ALWAYS hated my birthday as a kid because i never had any special "day" in my birth month! i know it sounds stupid, but being a kid thats how i felt.

my first child was due the day after st. patricks day (and i'm irish) so when my water broke ON the 17th, i was so excited!!! of course, she didn't arrive until the 19th and i was so bummed!

and don't worry about you and your DH celebrating VD, you WILL find time for just the two of you!

Yules · January 2011

Just to cheer you up in case you can't change the date...My birthday is on Valentine's Day and it's kind of neat. It's not a big enough holiday to trump your b-day like Christmas or Thanksgiving. As a kid you feel very special seeing hearts and flowers everywhere, because you assume it's all done just for you! Your bf/h will never forget it's your birthday. I would assume it did suck for my Mom that one year though!

MattnNat · January 2011

My DD was born on Valentines day and so far it's been really fun. I was never big on celebrating Valentines day and if and when we did we would do it on an off day around the same time (which we still do). It's been much more fun to have a cute Valentines day birthday party with my LO than waiting forever to get into an overly crowded restaurant or movie anyways. HTH!

lovesBup · January 2011

I don't mean to dismiss your frustration- because I would be upset as well.. but as a caregiver (working the medical field is the relation I'm trying to make here I guess) I understand that people who need caring for never take days off, and Your OB may not have been thinking about feb 14th as valentines day. He/she may have just seen it as another day of the week. Last year I worked every calender holiday except halloween. I actually completely forgot that Easter sunday was Easter until my client asked me what she should wear to her sisters house for Easter dinner. Maybe your OB spaced valentines day?

Another alternative, is that your OB is an idiot, and thought that valentines day babies would be super sweet and romantic in some way. Is your OB a man? That sounds like something a man would think of right?. lol

Think flipping baby thoughts, and keep pushing for a different date. Are there any other OB's in the practice that you are familiar with?

LifesPeachy · January 2011

I was talking to a little girl at my daughters school who told me her bday was on Valentines Day- she said she loved it and loves having Valentines Day parties.

I have a twin, and we never really wish each other "happy bday". Guess bc its so obvious.

I dont think its a big deal at all. Kinda cool, I actually hope I go into labor on Feb 14.

And no the doctors give you no say in scheduling a c/s. Call in sick that day (From the hospital!). haha Smile

kateweave · January 2011

I kind of agree with the PP, it would be kind of cool to have everyone decorate and be lovely dovey on the day you were born. It's like the whole world is celebrating with you.

The part I don't understand is scheduling a date without your input. Who does that???

*BlackSheep* · January 2011

You'r not petty. I would be upset also. Like pp said, maybe call and see if there is another Dr that can do the c/s. My BFF went into labor on Feb13. She did not want a V-day baby. Well she got a fri the 13th baby instead. She was happy.

This is another reason when I had to do IF treatments I always looked up the EDD so baby wouldnt be born on or close to a holiday. Even though this baby will be pretty close to St Patty's day and may be close to an Easter some years.

bella85 · January 2011

I think it would be kinda cool to have your birthday on a holiday. Not a major holiday like Christmas or Thanksgiving though. My birthday is in April and it sucked because it was always during Spring Break. My 3rd birthday and my 24th birthday were on Easter and I thought it was pretty cool. I'm due March 15th and would L.O.V.E. if LO was born on St. Patrick's Day b/c I'm Irish.

fwittig@gmail.com · January 2011

For what it's worth, my moms birthday is on Valentine's Day and it's never been an issue. It definitely made things easier for me since I never really celebrated Valentine's Day, we always celebrated my moms birthday instead. It did make it harder to get off of work though, since everyone wanted off to celebrate.

desdemona39 · January 2011

Not petty at all! My b-day is Christmas Eve (which is when my fam has the big party and stays up till midnight to open gifts) which pretty much sucks. I have always been screwed with presents, and it sure does suck having to get everyone else gifts on your own birthday. As I got older, I did learn to really appreciate the fact that there is a party and I get to see my whole family every year- and DH will never forget my bday. So you take the good with the bad.

At least Valentine's day isn't a major holiday. And when they have a significant other, that person won't forget their birthday (although they will have to give someone else a gift on their birthday). It would kinda bum me out to spend Valentines day alone though especially if it was my birthday.

MrsTotty · January 2011

Meh. I get why you're frustrated, but I don't think having your babies on Valentine's Day will be the end of the world. In the grand scheme of things, it's not that big a holiday. It's not like it's Christmas Day or Thanksgiving, kwim?

FWIW - my baby is due on St. Patrick's Day and I would LOVE for him to show up on his EDD so I could forever have a little shamrock ... and I'm not even Irish, lol.

iris427 · January 2011

Maybe your doctor didn't think Valentine's day would be a big deal to you? It's not an important holiday for a lot of people and it might not have clicked. I also know some hospitals prefer to have scheduled deliveries be on a certain day of the week, so maybe that was a factor? I agree it's annoying that they didn't consult you about when to schedule the delivery for, but I'm not too surprised at that either (I think it's pretty common).

IIRC from your other posts, you wanted to have a natural birth and aren't too thrilled about having a c-section at all. Maybe your feelings about having a c-section in general are affecting how you feel about this? Like not getting a voice heard in terms of when the schedule the birth is reflecting how you may feel overall like you are not being heard or like things are out of your control?

If it's important to you, see if you can have the surgery on a different day with a different doctor. After all, if you went into labor on the 12th or 13th and your OB were out of town, they'd have someone else do the delivery.

thebigmare · January 2011

I'd be annoyed too! I can't believe that you can't reschedule. Well you could always "forget" to show up for your scheduled c/s. Then the babies would be born on February 15th!

I can't believe that they are both breech. Little stinkers! Flip!

ManiacMcGee · January 2011

iris427:
Maybe your doctor didn't think Valentine's day would be a big deal to you? It's not an important holiday for a lot of people and it might not have clicked. I also know some hospitals prefer to have scheduled deliveries be on a certain day of the week, so maybe that was a factor? I agree it's annoying that they didn't consult you about when to schedule the delivery for, but I'm not too surprised at that either (I think it's pretty common).
IIRC from your other posts, you wanted to have a natural birth and aren't too thrilled about having a c-section at all. Maybe your feelings about having a c-section in general are affecting how you feel about this? Like not getting a voice heard in terms of when the schedule the birth is reflecting how you may feel overall like you are not being heard or like things are out of your control?
If it's important to you, see if you can have the surgery on a different day with a different doctor. After all, if you went into labor on the 12th or 13th and your OB were out of town, they'd have someone else do the delivery.

All of this.

Plus, I don't consider Valentines day a holiday. I see it as a made up holiday...or perhaps a Christian one and I'm not Christian.

Maybe your doc is the same way.

cynnnabun · January 2011

I would find someone else to do it. I'm a big fan of a birthday should be YOUR day. And I always feel bad when babies are born on holiday's or someone else's birthday. It's just not the same.

Not that they'll be emotionally damaged or anything, but still, it sort of sucks.

erbear · January 2011

Honestly, Valentine's Day isn't really a holiday. I'd think of it as welcoming my twins on a special day. Feb. 14 was my due date with Kate and I would have loved for that to be her birthday. I think you're overreacting a little, sorry.

pamalerjean · January 2011

Hm. Sorry you feel this way. I wouldn't be bothered about it personally but if you do then that's an issue. If you can't change it, work on thinking about it differently. Valentines Day doesn't have to be all about romance...it's about love. What better way to celebrate the love of you and your husband by bringing more love x2 into your family?

Perhaps celebrate your romance with your husband on a different day. PP mentioned that they do this and I do as well...just because I feel like Valentines Day is wayyyyy too busy a night to be going out Restaurants are trying to get you in and out of there quickly to turn tables and the food is never as good as it would be on the 13th or 15th...AND it's a "holiday" that just forces people to buy things/spend money for their loved ones. IMO I would rather my DH treat me with love and kindness and make me feel special every day, and take me out on dates on random dates to show that he always cares...not that he cares because the world expects him to on a certain day.

Your little ones will likely have a ton of fun with a birthday on a "special day".

KeriMac · January 2011

I understand your frustration, but OBs def don't care about holidays. I am due Sat, and although I was a little concerned about delivering on Christmas, I just want a healthy baby.

FWIW, I miscarried last year on Valentine's Day, and my beloved Nana passed away on Valentine's Day in 2006... I would love nothing more than to have a holiday blessed with the birth of two sweet babies rather than be a memory of something tragic. Try to look at it that way!

00tedsgirl · January 2011

I have a friend whose birthday is Valentine's Day and he loves it. And he's in his 60s.

At least it's a day people like. My kid was born on Tax Day.

Nyki06Wed43530 · January 2011

If it makes you feel better my 16 year old brother has a birthday on Valentines Day and when I asked him recently how he feels about it he told me that he actually likes it. He said it has always been fun having a Valentines Day birthday.

LadybugPicnic2011 · January 2011

My 10 yr olds birthday is New Years Eve and he LOVES IT. He is so excited that he gets fireworks every year for his birthday and people are always celebrating on it. We just have his birthday party in mid December or begining of January.

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