I have to leave you wonderful ladies...

JThomas221 · January 2011

I can't believe I am writing this post. The last few days seem like a blur and I just can't seem to wrap my head around it. Over the last couple of weeks, I've been feeling like something was off. I kept telling DH that I just didn't feel pregnant anymore, and I even was tempted to POAS just for reassurance (but I didn't). My symptoms had lessened, but I was still starving all the time and my boobs were sore at night right before bed.

Well Sunday night, I started spotting red. It was light, but didn't stop after a couple of hours so I called the dr.'s office and spoke to the on-call dr. She told me to keep an eye on it and if it got any worse, to go to the ER but otherwise to call in the a.m. and they would get me in for an appt. I went in on Monday morning and everything looked ok. My cervix was closed and my bloodwork had been coming back fine, but they wanted an ultrasound just to be sure. The u/s tech was off that day so we had to go to the hospital to get one done. At our hospital the u/s techs aren't allowed to discuss the u/s with the patient. In fact, they're really not that inclined to even move the machine to where you can see the screen as you're lying there, probably to ward off questions that they aren't allowed to answer. So I'm craning my neck to see and I was having a really hard time seeing the baby. Finally she focuses on the uterus and I can see it but it's smaller than it should be, and it wasn't moving. The u/s tech shows me where the fetal pole is measuring and it says 7w3d. I should be at 10w2d at that point. She moved the screen over and shows me that she's trying to find the heartbeat, but of course there wasn't one.

DH and I went to the hospital early this morning and I had a D&C. I feel a profound loss that I can't find words for, but DH and I are clinging together and I know we'll come out of this stronger than we were before. My very worst fear has come true and I'm devastated, but we're eager to try again. My dr. says once I have 1 or 2 normal cycles we can start TTC. Please ladies, just be thankful for every single day that you are pregnant. It's truly a miracle and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did, even with all the worrying! I've come to feel so close to many of you and I wish you all the best. I'll miss this board so much... hopefully I'll be back soon to update you with some good news.

fancefpp · January 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss! T&Ps coming your way.

Oneday82 · January 2011

I am very sorry for your loss! You are right, it is a true miracle to even conceive and be able to carry a baby inside. I've had 2 m/c's and because of that, it's made me even more grateful for what I have. I pray that you find peace and comfort during this difficult time!

alioopsiedaisy · January 2011

I am so so sorry

lololoco · January 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for you!

Fuzzy21 · January 2011

I am very sorry for your loss and everything that you've had to go through.

JenJar · January 2011

So sorry you're going through this. Hang in there!

jbj 7497 · January 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss.

T&P are heading your way

eesome · January 2011

I am so, so sorry for you loss. I have had two miscarriages in my lifetime, so I understand how you feel.

Sending you and your DH many thoughts and prayers. ((((hugs))))

TanyaKM · January 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss

Please do come back and update us on how you're doing...

Augustmama1113 · January 2011

I'm very sorry for your loss. My T&Ps are with you and your DH.

brwneydtexasgal · January 2011

Im so sorry for your loss. T&P for you and your hubby during this difficult time.

lorlei13 · January 2011

I am so sorry for your loss. You and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers.

DestinedtobeDomestic · January 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss.

rguinn75 · January 2011

so sorry for your loss... I hope you can find some comfort soon and a way to heal... lots of T&P your way... ((HUGS))

mcatmay · January 2011

So, so sorry for your loss - please take good care of yourself through this incredibly difficult time.

MissLMS · January 2011

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. If you need a place to vent or grieve, the mc/pl board really helped me after my m/c.

UCONNHuskies · January 2011

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage in Sept at about 5w and then after a normal cycle was fortuantel enough to get pregnant in November and am 11w tomorrow. Best of luck to you in the future.

b15chik · January 2011

i'm so very sorry to hear this. thoughts and prayers are with you and your hub, and i wish you luck when you are ready to start ttc again

BryelleSullivan · January 2011

so sorry to hear that darling. I wish you much luck!!

Ryan&Kristin062009 · January 2011

I am so sorry for your loss. I've been there before and while it is completely devistating it does get a little bit better with time. I wish you the best of luck in your TTC journey.

*Juma* · January 2011

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is cruel and unfair. Take your time to heal, and be sure to take care of yourself. (((hugs)))

angiek1 · January 2011

I am so sorry for your loss. Your post was really moving. Good luck in the future and please report back to us with any news you have in the coming months.

itsmevkb · January 2011

I'm so very sorry for your loss. It is heartbreaking. I can't tell you that the pain will ever fully go away but I can promise you that, over time, the pain does lessen. Take care of yourself.

chelfe22 · January 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss.

SethandMelissa · January 2011

so sorry for your loss. You'll be in our thoughts and prayers.

Galaxy8227 · January 2011

I'm very sorry for your loss

MandiNewMommy · January 2011

I am so very sorry for your loss. T & P to you and DH. (((HUGS!)))

babybchbum · January 2011

This is something we will never understand. I am so sorry for your loss and sendin T&P to you and your husband for a quick "recovery".

Sending well wishes for a 2011 Sticky baby.

ces25c · January 2011

I'm so sorry and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

kellbranc · January 2011

I am so so sorry for your loss. I know how sad and heartbroken you feel right now... I am so sorry you guys are going through this!

The TTCAL and miscarriage/pregnancy loss boards are awesome resources when you are ready. It really helped me feel I had SOMEONE to identify with after my loss.

I hope you are able to start TTC again and get your sticky baby soon.

T&PS

missdelica · January 2011

I am very sorry for your loss. You and your hubby will be in my prayers. You are so very right. These babies are all miracles, and I could never even think of taking that for granted. Even though you have been through this horrible loss, the baby was a mircle while he/she was here. But now that baby is a mircle in heaven and I am sure your LO is watching over mommy and daddy right now. Stay stong. I hope you get some good news soon.