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Multiples
Question for those who had spontaneous twins
Do twins run in your families?
I'm sorry if this is a stupid or uneducated question.
I would love to have twins and I've heard your chances increase after age 30 (I don't know if there's any truth to this).
Anyway, I'm sorry to crash your board, I was just curious if having twins in your family actually played a factor.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Question for those who had spontaneous twins
My twins were spontaneous and do not run on (my side) of the family. Your DHs side has no effect, having said that - there are no sets of twins on his side either. HTH!
ETA: I was 24 when my babies were conceived, 25 when I delivered.
Nope, twins don't run in my family. We were very surprised. I've also heard that your chances of multiples do increase as you get closer to advanced maternal age.
I also just want to add that although I feel very blessed that my babies are doing well at this point, I have had a very scary and difficult pregnancy and I haven't had it nearly as difficult as many other MoMs. There are many more risks and complications for both mother and babies during a multiple pregnancy that most people don't realize.
I have ID twins, so family history doesn't matter. But I do have 2 sets of fraternal twins in my family.
ETA: Ditto PP about the risks. I gave birth 10 weeks early and had a lot of problems toward the end. It's not a glamorous pregnancy by any means.
Just curious as to why you would want twins? Not trying to be a jacka$$, but most people who want twins only think of the romanticized version of twins and not the sh!te pregnancy and increased complications to both Mom and babies. Not to mention trying to care for 2 newborns. Don't get me wrong, I love my babies, but this experience hasn't exactly been a walk in the park. I spend my days feeding, burping, changing, with a little bit of playing in between. I'm exhausted and most of the time I feel horrible guilt for not being able to spend more time bonding with my boys. I have to split myself between the 2 and it kills me.
To answer your question, no twins don't run in my family. Even if they did I had spontaneous identical twins and genetics doesn't play a factor in identicals. Frats are genetic.
Christian Alexander - 11/13/06
Amelia Rose & Owen Thomas - 3/29/11
BFP #2 10/13/2009 on our 2nd Wedding Anniversary
Discovered TWINS during the 6w u/s - what a shocker!
Delivered on 5/19/2010 at 34 weeks due to pre-e and HELLP syndrome
The Bump MoM Recipe Collection
My great-grandmother had twins, that did not survive birth. I have no idea if they were fraternal or identical.
And I agree with PP, I love my twins but it is HARD. There is very little down time in our days and even after the babies are in bed its double the work. Double the laundry, bottles, nighttime feedings. Not to mention the risks associated with a twin pregnancy.
ETA: I was 24 when I got pregnant with my twins.
My maternal grandmother had fraternal twin boy/girl, and her mother (my great grandmother) had fraternal twin boys, and we know they go back farther than that but that's three sets of twins, including mine, in the last four generations on my mom's side of the family. I am 27.
It's my understanding that it's more common after the age of 35, because your body starts to hyper-ovulate when you are getting close to menopause. But don't take that as gospel.
I'm one of those obnoxious people too that's always said I wanted twins. I don't know why, but it's something I told my SO when we first started dating that I wanted twins. All of my family's first reaction to the pregnancy was "You've always wanted twins!" And even though I'm only 15 weeks and the pregnancy has gone well so far, the reality hits you as soon as you see those two sacs on the screen and there are some days I think to myself "Be careful what you ask for." Natural birth was so important to me and now my options are limited, who knows if I'll be on bed rest or if they'll come early, etc. I don't know, I understand why some people say that because I was that person, but I also agree with what the women above have said, and that the reality of twins is much, much different than the fantasized, "Wouldn't that be cute" version.
Cut the Crap - Weight loss journey of a Few Fat Chicks
THIS! i have identical twins and no twins are in my family at all...i was 20 when i got pregnant and 21 when they were born....i LOVE MY GIRLS TO DEATH but if i would have been given a choice i'd probably just want one it's soooooooo hard and i have pretty much done EVERYTHING myself since the beginning...my family never came over to help and my husband works 12 hour days and hardly gets to see them. I mean it is wayyyy easier now than it was it has it's good times and bad and i'm glad that my girls already have someone to play with and already have a best friend but the beginning was somewhat terrible i had days where i would cry because i thought i wasn't going to make it. they're 7 months old and i have just now started to get sleep at night....and washing bottles is horrible when you sometimes have 15 or 20 to wash my hands have been dry and cracked for over 7 months now and no lotion seems to work...
This. 1000% times this. I can't imagine only having one baby at this point but I can't imagine wanting to have one baby look at you and cry while the you're holding the other one, who is crying even harder, or any of the other day to day stuff that happens when you have two infants.
To answer your question, I was 30 when I got PG and there is no family history. But I did eat a lot of sweet potatoes last winter. I guess that was probably what caused it.
I am a fraternal twin so I guess I would say that twins do run in my family. Before my sister and I, there was a very distant cousin of my grandmother's who was a twin but that's all that we know of.
I have to agree with everyone else - I love love love my boys and would not trade them for anything but the constant overwhelming guilt that comes with being a mother of twins (or obviously any multiples) is something that I don't think someone could imagine or comprehend until they have had twins, triplets etc.. It is just not something I would ever wish on any mother despite how much happiness they bring me.
From the stand point of being a twin, I personally never liked being a twin so initially, I was a little sad for my boys when I found out I was having two. However, I am going to try to do my best to learn from what I did not like about being a twin and hopefully change that for my boys as much as I can.
ETA: I was 27 when I got pregnant with my boys and 28 when I had them.
I wondered how long it would be before we were there! LOL.
To OP, if you're asking about twins running in families, it is only fraternal twins and only on your side. Identical twins are just a fluke (in a nice way). But please, please, please listen to the other posters when they tell you twins are hard work. Last night both boys were screaming for mama to put them to bed and I could only rock one at a time. You never feel more helpless then when one baby is standing in their crib screaming "mama" over and over again and you can't do anything about it because the second you put the other one down to pick him up, you'll be in the exact same situation, just with the other baby screaming. It's heartbreaking.
That doesn't even get into how difficult a multiple pregnancy is on your body and you have a good chance of having preemies. I was wonderfully blessed to carry my twins to term, but a lot of women on here aren't. Real life with twins isn't the romantic notion that I know everyone has in their head when they say "I want twins".
Just hope for a healthy pregnancy, no matter how many babies end up in there. My babies had to be conceived via IVF so my only concern was getting pg, not with how many I got pg with. I don't want to sound preachy, I'm just trying to put things in perspective.
I have spontaneous ID twins. I had just turned 22 when I got pg with them.
Multiples in general are for some reason very sought after. I dont think people take into account the high risk pg, chances of m/c, pre-term labor, TTTS like many ID face (I was monitored very close for this and cord entanglement because mine were MoMo...aka 1 sac, 1 placenta, 2 babies.) and many other risks just during pg. Then if you are lucky to not have NICU time you have 2 tiny babies who want to both be held, fed, changed, burped and loved at the exact same time. I see you also have a dc already....try splitting your time 3 ways...evenly. It doesnt happen. My ds was only 1 when my girls were born. It was VERY hard to manage all 3 at the same time. Once I got everyone on a schedule and everyone was sttn it settled down. Then take in to account how $$ it is. 2 of EVERYTHING!
I adore my girls. My dh and I both wanted twins when we were kids. I grew out of it once I factored in all the risks. DH still in dream world thought it would be great. Well, twins we got and I wouldnt trade them for anything but man it was rough for the first year.
All that aside I have read that your chances are greater as you get older because your body starts to release 2 eggs instead of just 1.
Also...try eating some yams. That *really* helps.....giggle.
i'm sorry i don't want to pry or be nosey but i was just curious as to why? i'd like to hear from a twin what it's like so i have some sort of insight of what my girls might go through. Sorry again if this is too personal i'm just curious that's all.
There was a post on here last week with a few MoMs saying they would love to have a second set of twins.
I'm not going to get down on the OP - after struggling with IF, I wanted twins too.
However, no amount of wanting prepares you for that "Holy *bleep*" moment when you see two babies on that u/s screen, or when you realize that you probably won't get the birth experience you wanted.
Be prepared for twins, IF you really "want" them... but to answer your question there was only one set of female frats on my father's side. I had ID's and they have nothing to do with family genetics. I was 38 when they were born. My boys were 5 weeks early and in the NICU for 3 weeks and I (they) was one of the lucky ones.
Yes. And I was 29 when they were born. But they are identical so family history didn't matter.
FWIW to you, my boys were 3.5 weeks early. I never had bedrest but my Baby B spent 3 weeks in the most advanced level NICU for a preemie related infection.
Please don't glamorize twins and brush aside the stress and possible life-long complications.
No, it's definitely not too personal, I don't mind at all! I know this is going to be so long but I will try to make it as short as I can. First off, my sister and I are very different (pretty much polar opposites) - I really think I would have liked being a twin more if we had had more in common. She was much more into school while I was much more social. I had a lot of constant guilt (especially in high school) because I would be invited to something my sister wasn't (when we both knew the person well) or I would be out with my friends and she would be at home by herself. Obviously, I do think non-twin siblings can have similar experiences but, I do think that the fact that we were the same age and in the same grade complicated things a lot - at least in my experience. I had a lot of extra guilt because it wasn't like my sister was in a different grade and didn't know the people or was too young to want to do the things I was doing. Writing it out, it sounds kind of weird but I guess it's sort of hard to explain without writing like 20 pages.
Also, my sister has a very type A personality while I was more laid back and didn't speak up as much so this meant she was the one who usually got her way on a lot of things - even small things that seem so insignificant. Something as silly as the fact that she always ended up choosing what kind of birthday cake we had, I would speak up on my preference but eventually just give in to her. It's something so small but after year after year of eating cake on your birthday that is not something you like, it just gets old. Obviously, this is easily remedied by having 2 cakes, I think it just wasn't something my mom thought to do.
Essentially, what I learned from my experience is that I always want to give my boys time with just one of us (my husband or myself) and give them a day to do whatever it is that they like. My mom wasn't able to do this much because she was a single mom for most of my life (and definitely did the best that she could) but since she and my sister had a lot in common and liked the same things, I felt kind of on the side line. With having a twin, you don't get a lot of time away from each other since you and your twin will pretty much always be in the same school, etc. so I think just giving my boys a break from each other and allowing them time alone will be huge.
I am going to do the little things like making sure they have two cakes and are treated as individuals and try not to compare and group them together. Basically, I really think the little things will make a difference and I really hope, will make my boys LOVE being twins.
Also, on a positive note, many many people that I meet that are twins say that they loved being twins so hopefully my feelings are the minority.
lol i don't mind...i was just curious..i've never really known any twins. i knew one set of identical twins when i was a kid and i didn't really "know" them i just knew who they were in school. I've never come across another set until my own. I have a brother but he's 11 and i'm almost 22 so i don't really know what it's like to be close with a sibling so it was interesting hearing your perspective, thanks! i will definitely try to remember that they ARE different and they ARE different people and i can see already that they are different from each other lol and having one on one time with them is hard being that i am a SAHM so i hope as they get older i'll be able to do that with them you're right that is really important...thanks again for sharing!
Currently 29 weeks pregnant with spontaneous ID twins boys.
I'm 27 and their is no family history of twins in both my husband and my side of the family.
I apologize if I offended any of you. I guess I should be more clear. I know that having twins would be 1000% harder than having a singleton. I do not think it would be glamorous or a walk in the park by any means. I give each and every one of you credit for raising multiples as I know it is much more difficult, especially at the newborn/infant stage.
I had a terrible singleton pregnancy and delivery. I know that a multiples pregnancy would be much harder on the body, not to mention the increased risks, probable prematurity, etc. I am not naive to that.
I am not coming on here romanticizing the idea of twins because I think it's cute, etc. I was just asking a question.
Props to all of you MoM's and thank you to those who answered my question honestly.
this exactly!
Wow, okay then. Forgive me for trying to explain myself. Next time... check google instead.
I completely agree. People that dont have kids always tell me how they would LOOOVE twins and they are so cute. Which they are but I think everyone just sees the "cute" side not the reality of how constant our lives are not to meantion how difficult a twin pregnancy can be. People that already have kids always look at me with that look of "poor thing" and tell me how they don't know how I do it.
I'm one of those crazy women who wanted twins, was blessed with them my first pregnancy.. and am crazy enough to want another set!! What is wrong with me?!?! Is it cause they aren't walking yet & coloring on the walls?!
Twins do not run in my family...EVER!!! We have family trees on both sides going way back, and no twins! But, I'm 21 and while NOT trying to have kids we got pregnant with twins. The doctor says it's possibly because I only have one ovary, but he has no idea.
Good Luck!